Double Sock-In-The-Mush for Vice-Prez
Sock No. 1 was the success of the Queen's Jubilee celebrations in the first week of the month, which took the spotlight right off the Vice-Prez. The only pictures of the Blairs in the papers showed the awful Mrs. V-P yawning her head off in public without the benefit of a hand in front of the enormous gob. And even worse, the V-P wasn't allowed to join the other royals on the balcony at Buck House.
Black Spot Ousted
Downing Street advisors have come up with a cute wheeze to rid the Vice-Prez of his persecutor, Black Rod. They're going to have his name declared politically incorrect on the grounds that it has Ethnic Offence Potential and abolish him. That'll teach him to dare to tell the truth instead of burping out New Labour Double-Think!
In the USA, the security system has had Osama bin Saddam Al Laden, the man who takes the world's worst photograph, in custody for over a month for a thought crime. Apparently, he thought it might be a good to explode a 'dirty' radioactive bomb in the Land of the Free -- not that he actually had the plans or the materials to make such a device. But now his lawyer, who has one of the world's weirdest haircuts, is saying that he's innocent. If she does get him off, and Mr. Laden proves to be more than just a criminal thinker, let's hope he explodes his dirty bomb right next to his lawyer's office. Kaboom!
Reigning champions France couldn't win a match. Germany fought World War III with its former African colony Camaroon. The teams set a record for bookings -- a grand total of 16 -- with 7 players on each side being booked and the two who were booked twice, one on either side, getting their marching orders. Quite a fair number of people think Germany 8, Saudia 0 involved a bung to one of the most corrupt nations on Earth, particular as the boss of FIFA is one of the most corrupt Germans on the planet. The USA got through to Round 2 for the first time ever. Oh, yes -- and England beat the Argies for the first time since 1982 and one of the tournament favourites got their marching orders. Sometimes, the Hand of God delivers a clip around the ear, but not often enough!
Round Two Round-Up
A perfect win for England. The Irish should have practised their penalties. Germany and Brazil took their time about winning their matches. USA 2, Mexico 0? What's that all about? Don't say Dubya's Demons are fixing to win it! The Japs went out but co-hosts the South Koreans went through at the expense of Italy! We're still on course for Engand v the USA in the final.
England became clueless after a fluke goal by Brazil. The USA was robbed when the blind officials failed to spot a goal-saving, goal-line hand-ball. Spain was robbed of a Golden Goal and the South Koreans had been practising their penalties. Afterwards, Spain lodged an official complaint and the newspapers started wondering about the size of the bungs which had kept South Korea going. Sepp Blatter, who stands accused of using FIFA cash to buy his own re-election, took a swipe at the officials. But with part of the World Cup being played in the first equal most corrupt country in the world, and regulated by an organization led by the most corrupt German on the planet, no wonder the conspiracy theorists are on quadruple time. Finally, Turkey's blunt attack sneaked up on Senegal in extra time.
And Finally ...
The bungs ran out and Germany got another late goal against South Korea. Brazil managed only one against Turkey. In the 3rd place match, Turkey jumped the South Korean defence and scored in 10.8 seconds! They went on to win 3-2 with the hosts getting a late goal to make the scoreline look a bit more respectable. The Germans were all over Brazil in the final, taking the ball off them with ease, but their attack was blunt. The Brazilians knocked in 2 chances and wasted a whole lot more.
Part 1 -- In Search Of A Good Script
Forestry worker Terry Barton started a major fire in Pike Forest near Denver. No argument about that. Her story was that she was burning a letter from her ex-husband in a fit of letter-rage and the fire got out of hand. But the investigators have come up with a much better scenario -- she started the fire deliberately so she could put it out and become a heroine!
Part 2 -- Doomsday Postponed
Friday, June 14th was the day when the Earth could have been hit by 2002MN - an asteroid of size 360 x 160 feet travelling at 23,000 mph. It missed us by 75,000 miles, one-third of the distance from the Earth to the Moon, and it wasn't spotted until Monday, 3 days after the close encounter.
Tutti Bananas, Prodi!
The minions of the EU have been telling us for years that their alleged directives on the straightness of bananas [EC Regulation 2257/94] and cucumbers are media myths and they never framed any such rules. All lies!
Middle East : Peace In Our Time!
Palestinian Prez Yosser Arafat has offered to step down and be replaced, as requested by Prez Dubya, subject to 2 small conditions.
|Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression.|
Sole © RAL, June 2002.