On the 4th Friday of the month, the Indians launched a Swiss satellite using a rocket paid for out of their foreign aid from Britain. The Swiss government is now preparing an application for British cash to fund their own spaceport, knowing that Gordon Brown has a penchant for supporting the space programmes of other nations, including China, in the hope of buying friends abroad.
It's a crime to employ an illegal immigrant, whether or not the employer knows the person is illegal, and the fine goes up to £10,000. That law was pushed into the statute book by Lady Scotland, the Attorney General. So it's rather curious that she hasn't had a visit from the Old Bill for employing an illegal cleaner for 6 months. But let us not forget that she is a cabinet minister, is an unelected one.
Get the law, and a PR guy, on your side!
The Scottish Nationalist government north of the border is believed to be planning to sue the baroness for bringing the name "Scotland" into disrepute.
Okay, so the Renault team has lost its boss as the only penalty for fixing the Singapore grand prix last year a little, token punishment for being caught. Anyone getting bent out of shape and thinking there should have been mass public executions is confusing Formula One with sport.
"It's all about the money"
They never learn!
In 1909, Dr. Frederick A. Cook & Robert E. Peary both claimed to be the first man to reach the North Pole. The claims were so convincing, at first, that they put off Roald Amundsen, who decided to be first man at the South Pole (at the expense of Captain Robert F. Scott).
Sydney offers "The Martian Experience"
If Sarah Brown has Gordon Brown as her big hero, she needs to get out more!
In the good old days, before Romiley was infested with brown & blue wheely bins, there were 4 refuse/recycling collections per fortnight 2 weekly collections by the dustmen, 1 fortnightly collection by the bottle-bashers & paper collectors and 1 fortnightly collection of the contents of the green, garden refuse bins.
Less choice, higher prices Thanks a bunch, Mandy!
Why did the council wreck the garden areas next to Romiley Forum?
Camelot is confident that it is impossible to affect the outcome of one of its draws. So why was illusionist Derren Brown banned from buying a ticket when he successfully predicted the winning combination of numbers of 2009/09/09? If he wasn't cheating, because that's impossible, why was he denied his human right to lose his quid like any other punter?
"It must be great to have a job like Vince Cable's"
To all Americans upset by Gordon Brown's lies and
If you feel thoroughly outraged
One of Britain's first division of writers has died at 80. He achieved great success with his novel Billy Liar (1959), which became a film starring Tom Courtenay 4 years later (the script was the first product of a lifelong collaboration with playwright Willis Hall), and he had a West End hit with his play Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell in 1989. His list of achievements includes over 50 books, plays and television scripts (e.g. Budgie starring Adam Faith and Worzel Gummidge starring Jon Pertwee and Una Stubbs ) and miles and miles and MILES of newspaper columns.
The writer who brought M*A*S*H to television has died at 81. He began his career as a gag-writer for radio then television shows, and continued on to Broadway shows and the movies. His greatest hits include A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, The Notorious Landlady (1962), The Wrong Box (1966), Tootsie (1982) and M*A*S*H, which lasted 11 years on TV, 8 years longer than its setting in the Korean War. He received Tony (6) and Emmy awards, but just nominations for the Oscar. He was a master of the one-liner and he had a collection of essays & reminiscences, Laughing Matters, published in 1998.
The man who turned cooking on TV into real entertainment has died at 65. Mr. Floyd went into journalism then the army, and made his first venture into the restaurant business in his twenties. He was 'discovered' by the BBC director David Prichard and he made his TV debut in the early 1980s, when he was in his mid-thirties.
A diminutive actor, who could do comedy and menace with equal facility, has died at 73. Mr. Gibson began his acting career at the age of 8 and studied drama at university. He played small parts in comedy films in the 1960s, including The Nutty Professor (1963) starring Jerry Lewis, and he got regular work in TV shows such as The Beverly Hillbillies and The Dick Van Dyke Show. His big break came in Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, where he spent 4 years delivering dotty poems.
Here's a prime example of the EU in action. It has banned the import and manufacture of 100W and 150W incandescent bulbs, which are cheap and work, in favour of fluorescent bulbs, which cost a bomb and don't do the same job. And all in the name of reducing carbon dioxide emissions by a meaningless amount, which will be suitable inflated by Global Warming Scammers in government. But that's the EU way, getting rid of something that works doesn't count as long as public money can be shoved into the pockets of the usual scroungers.
Exploding Fridges Explained
10:10 Launches This Month
Just so you know . . .
Who ate all the light bulbs?
Bad comic on nationwide tour
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It's official! Fast-frozen fresh food is better for you in terms of vitamins and nutritional value than unfrozen fresh food, which has been trucked or shipped from pillar to post.
Fun or flu? Some choice!
£ord S£eaze is reported to be £obbying for the appointment of Gorba£s Mick M'Grahi, the new£y re£eased £ockerbie bomber, as an honorary Speaker of the House of Commons as a gesture of truth & reconci£iation.
This month's big debate
This month's handy fact:
How to get things done under New Labor
Forget Swine Flu and start worrying about Monkey Malaria.
Political Party of the Month
For the benefit of those who wait for the official denial before believing the rumour . . .
"Giz a chance, mate!"
Mogul Studios proudly present The Hit Film of the Autumn Season
Achbar is depressed because life is passing him by so he decides to end it all for a cause. But which one should he pick with so many deserving causes available? And when he finally makes his choice, will the universe ever stop conspiring against him and let Achbar make his explosive mark in grand style?
Find out when this side-splitting film reaches a cinema near you! SOON!
The Führer has returned to the capital after an inspection and morale-boosting visit to the Eastern Front. He found the troops in excellent spirits and confidence in Final Victory at its highest level ever.
Further sacrifices are needed by the middle classes, the Führer has announced, if Final Victory is to be achieved. In return, he will offer them his eternal hand of friendship and his undying gratitude.
His subjects are waiting nervously for a response from the Führer Bunker following the news that Baron von Sleaze, the Minister of Armaments and War Production, has been making peace overtures to the enemy and even offering to work from them in the unlikely event that Final Victory is not achieved.
Russian President D. Medvedyev has denied that the communist dictator J. Stalin started World War II. So it must be true. This is the latest of a string of revisions issued by Pres. Medvedyev's Commission for the Falsification of History, which he established in May, 2009. The Commission has the brief of rehabilitating past dictators to excuse the excesses of present ones, and to provide justification for Russia's plans to re-annex the Baltic states, Ukraine and other former vassal states of the Soviet Union.
Hello! That's enough, thank you.
Believe it, or what!
According to a large number of Americans, the greatest threat to peace & stability on Earth is Obamunism.
Al O'Bama Slammer!
There had to be a reason
The European Commission has admitted that the manufacturers of compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs) are exaggerating their light output shamelessly. Manufacturers claim, for instance, that an 11 Watt CFL is the equivalent of a soon-to-be banned 60W incandescent bulb.
The latest conspiracy theory
Money to burn? (And sod the carbon dioxide generated!)
Brown Plague Spreads
Can the Obaminator save the world from the obaminable threat of Obamunism?
Snip here, Gordon!
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