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 Change we can believe in?
The EU is spending £230 million per year on trying to bring about climate change. The plan is to keep flying vast numbers of MEP and eurocrats around the world on junkets to the Seychelles and similar holiday destinations until they have dumped enough carbon dioxide into the atmosphere to make a difference. Given that the human race contributes just a fraction of one per cent to the amount of CO2 in the air, every country will go bust before that happens, but at least the euroscum will have had a good time.
 Truth-free zone
Why are we not surprised by the WikiLeaks revelation that New Labour engineered the release of the "dying" Lockerbie bomber and it wasn't all down to the Scottish government? Mainly because everything about New Labour was a lie, pretty much.
 p.s. The Yanks knew all about what the Labour government was doing and, in their opinion, if it was going to happen, sooner would be better than later.
 A.C.P.O. duffs up H.O.
The Association of Cheap Police Officers has spilled the beans on the Coalition's plan to have elected police commissioners – the idea is perverse and a waste of money, people will be making uninformed choices from lists of usual suspects, and criminals and sex offenders could be voted into office to fulfill diversity quotas. Apart from that, it's a totally brilliant way to pretend the government is putting inappropriate democracy into policing.
Cash crisis for A.C.P.O.
Over half of the 43 police authorities in England and Wales are refusing to pay this year's subscription on the grounds that while A.C.P.O. is undoubtedly an Organization, it ain't Cheap and, after 13 years of New Labour misrule, there are no proper Police Officers in it. Another whinge is that A.C.P.O. doesn't feel the need to make cuts in its spending because it has divine authority to blow as much cash as it wants when it wants.
 Talk about public sector jobsworths and bogus rights
If you ever wanted a prime example of the rotten society that Tony B. Liar and New Labour created, here it is. The staff at Shotts prison caught a convict stashing methadone in his cell. He made a complaint to the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman, who ruled that he had to get a written apology from the prison governor and the wages, which the convict was fined, had to be repaid.
 Falls over in amazement!
Britain actually has a judge with 2 brain cells to rub together! Mr. Justice Langstaff has told a gang of convicts that they have no right to compensation for not being allowed to vote in general elections because the law says they should not have a vote. Even better, he ordered the 588 convicts to pay the £46,000 court costs.
 Believe it or what!
Some pettifogging 'public servant' in Norfolk has decided that tipping someone is a bad idea because it could be classed as bribery and an offence under the 2010 Bribery Act. We kid you not!
 Serial electoral fraud?
In addition to the shenannegans of the Boundary Commission, which ensures that Labour needs fewer votes than the Conservatives to take power, New Labour brought in over 3 million immigrants in an attempt to boost its vote – but even the immigrants couldn't stomach making Gordie Broon the prime monster, apparently.
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You need the strength of 10 (elephants)
Lucozade is getting hundreds of complaints about its large size bottles of "energy drinks". Apparently, lots of customers lack the energy to unscrew the cap on the bottle.
 Wot crisis?
Why are we supposed to be shocked by theGrauniad's revelation that the Tory party gets half of its funding from the City of London but remain unshocked by the news that Labour gets most of its cash from the unions?
 Why read the label when it's all lies?
"Welsh" lamb comes from New Zealand, "Devon" ham from Denmark, "Somerset" butter from Scotland, "West Country fish fillets" from China, "local" ice cream can come from anywhere and "fresh local cream" might not contain any cream!
The problem arises because there is no legal definition of local and the food industry takes full advantage of this to bamboozle and swindle its customers.
Something else we can thank New Labor for
E. "The Wrong" Milipede has worked out that middle-income families will be worse off to the tune of £4,000 thanks to the effects of the Brown Slump.
The Daily Disaster supports
the European Convention on Hermann Rights
"Everyone is entitled to Goering!"
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Death Bin Terror
The streets of Romiley became places to avoid on Post Super Bowl Monday. Crammed full black bins, and even the big green ones, were hurled all over the place by gusting, gale-force winds. The village's broken pavements in side streets were turned into kill-zones. Stockport Council is bracing itself to field a wave of compensation claims for damage to residents, their vehicles and other property.
 And another thing . . .
The roads in Romiley have never had a fair shake from Stockport council despite the vast amounts of council tax liberated from the residents. Here's one we did earlier and one we did recently of the junction of Beechwood Avenue with Compstall Road. Anyone want to lay any bets on when the street will be back to all cobbles?
 
[left : June 2007, right : February 2011]
So much for public service
Ever wondered why Council Tax in the Stockport area is so bloody high? Councillors' allowances could have a lot to do with it. Romiley's shower, along with the rest of the Triv-Dems, have voted not to cut their wages "Because we're worth it!" Presumably, the same applies to paying a glorified town clerk 40% more than the prime minister gets for running just Stockport rather than the whole country.
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 Score early, score often, then hang on
The Packers came into Super Bowl 45 in a thoroughly banged up condition, but the Steelers were also struggling with injuries. They also made significant mistakes and the Packers were able to take maximum advantage of them in the first half. But a Pittsburgh revival was under way before the lame half-time "entertainment". Guns 'n' Roses it wasn't!
 Close, but no cigar
Stupid penalties afflicted both teams in the 2nd half and there were bad drops by receivers and wayward passes. The Steelers got to within a field goal of levelling the scores, but they were always playing catch-up. The Packers' defense held up when the Steelers had 2 minutes to score a winning TD. So that was a 4th win for the Pack from 5 Super Bowls and the Steelers are still stuck on their record 6 wins from 8 finals.
Cloth Ears Rule!
+++ Egyptian army refuses to use 4s on protesters +++ Scared Cairo police do a runner +++ Army acts as stewards for protest marches & ignore curfew +++
So long and thanks for all the dosh
Egyptian president for 30 years, if not life, H. Mubarak is to step down in September so that he can spend more time with the $40 billion which he saved out of his wages. It is rumoured that Lord Mandelsleaze, that well-known pursuer of the wealthy, has been offering to help him find things to do with the cash.
 Why is everything to do with Europe total crap?
It has to be down to the people who sneak onto the EU payroll. There must be a screening process, which lets through only candidates lacking common sense and a sense of proportion. But there probably isn't a test for the sense they were born with as this quantity has to be too small to measure.
 Attention-seekers of the world, unite!
Egypt is getting all of the meeja coverage and further flung regions are in a tizz about it. Japan, for instance, has been reduced to picking a fight with the comedy show QI to get some attention and all Mexico can manage is having a go at Top Gear over disparaging remarks about Mexican 'cuisine'.
 Albania seems to be quite untroubled about being outed on Top Gear as the stolen car capital of Europe.
 They denied it, so it had to be true
Surprise! T. Bliar, G. Broon, D. Milipede and all the other New Labour crew were up to their greasy necks in buying favours in Libya in exchange for the release of the Lockerbie bomber, officially released Whitehall documents show. And blaming it all on the Nationalist regime in Scotland was just another Labour lie.
Politics, schmolitics!
Belgium has proved that governments are not a really necessary piece of survival equipment. The country has been able to keep going without one, apparently without distress, for 250 days and counting.
Getting it royally wrong
Christchurch was another New Orleans waiting to happen. Building a city on a site below sea level in an area regularly battered by hurricanes was a crazy idea. So was building a city on alluvial deposits in an earthquake zone threaded with fault lines – Canterbury University has found there are over 100 fault lines in the area! Come the big quake and the ground liquefies and everything falls down. Simple physics, really.
Always on the cards?
There's a good name for a political party – Fianna Fail, which failed miserably in this month's Irish general election after doing a Gordon Brown to the Irish economy.
The oil number
Is 150 a standard unit of oil workers? That's the number quoted for Brits rescued from the badlands of Libya on each of Saturday and Sunday of the final weekend of the month.
So now we know!
If you ever wondered if Col. Gadaffy really is such a bad guy, confirmation has arrived. The Mandelsleaze has announced that he and Tony B. Liar think Gadaffy is a great bloke (for as long as the money lasts) and so is his son. Which confirms that they are both rotten to the core.
 Still relevant book of the Month:
"A highly original solution to the problems posed to the rest of the world by the Iran regime."
"An astonishingly far-sighted use for obsolete nuclear weapons."
Vintage : Late 1980s / Category: Alternate history.
Available in paperback or as a download from Lulu.com |
Let's get something straight
"Britain" is not responsible for the massacres of regime change demonstrators in Libya. That's entirely down to the Gadaffy regime, no matter what anti-British upstarts at the UN say. And the nationality of the guns and bullets is irrelevant as dictators always get guns from one source or another; usually Russia or China. Any further questions should be directed to Tony B. Liar and his cronies.
Out one door . . . in another
According to the rumours, Col. Gadaffy is moonlighting as a secret hotel guest and mystery shopper in Venezuela, where he can experience all of the dubious delights of a rogue regime. We wish him success with his new venture and look forward to buying a couple of tanks and a few guided missiles when he has his "End of Dictatorship" sale.
Gadaffy has vowed to fight to the last drop of his Russian mercenaries' blood to keep his trillion-dollar pension safe.
Not so sporting
The Bahrain Formula One Grand Prix has been cancelled as a result of the general uprising in North Africa and the Middle East, which is a pity as the track is one of the few which lets the drivers overtake. Why couldn't the revolution have been in Monaco or any of the other places which regularly host a dull procession?
The new spirit of defiance in the Middle East has led Iran to pluck up the courage to assert its right to send ships through the Suez Canal without asking permission from Israel.
 Disgraced prime monster Tony B. Liar is not denying rumours that he is building an international Rescue Coalition of Liberation of everyone else on nose-rubbing terms with his best mate M. Gadaffy, the Libyan dictator.
British arms sold to Libya – the Usual Suspects go bananas. Russian & African mercenaries using the arms on Libyan citizens – not a peep out of the Usual Suspects.
Disgraced former prime monster Tony B. Liar is not denying rumours that he is setting up a charity to sponsor a Golden Gadaffy Award, which will be made to the year's best dictator among those who have befriended him.
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The government in Jordan, which has just been sacked en masse by King Abdullah
"Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.
