 The Beeb biased? How can that be?
How curious that the BBC gives air time to the "Yes to AV" and the "No to AV" campaigns in proportion to their complexity. Thus the "No" gang are lucky if they get a bare mention while the "Yes" gang get long explanations and clips of interviews with resident BBC lefties.
 Another bog-up
Shock, horror! The Global Warming Swindlers are having to contend with the news that, according to the rules of their own scam, using allegedly eco-friendly biofuels is causing climate change rather than stopping it!! Chopping down trees in forests and jungles, and ploughing up the land to plant biofuel crops, shoves more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere than it saves. The policy also puts endangered species in even more danger of extinction and causes food shortages by diverting agricultural land away from growing food to growing heavily subsidized biofuels.
 Having it both ways
Global warming is getting the blame for the tornadoes, which have given America's Bible Belt it's biggest fright for 85 years. Curiously, back in 1975, a plague of tornadoes the previous year was being cited as evidence of global cooling and the Earth heading into the next Ice Age. Go figure!
 More dirty tricks from the government
When the new "universal state pension" is introduced in 2015, only new pensioners will get the benefit of it. Which means that existing pensioners, some of whom have made national insurance contributions for 48 years, will be screwed by the Coalition. What nice guys they are!
 Not a problem in the real world
The government is "thinking" about creating a new offence of causing death by dangerous cycling because Lycra Louts "can be charged only under an act dating back to 1861". Which is utter cobblers. Killing someone by riding a bike into them is either murder or manslaughter. So the police and the Can't Prosecute Service should be told to get their respective asses into gear and get biking killers put in gaol, instead of inconvenienced with a paltry fine, for depriving someone of their life.
 More Non-Job Creation
The Multiculturalist community is trying to force people who can't read English onto juries from political motives. With people who can't speak the language to follow if they get away with it. Which should lead to a lot more appeals on the grounds of a mistrial and lots more taxpayers' cash going into the pockets of the legal profession and the Multiculturalist community.
His novel Firefox (1977) was made into a film starring Clint Eastwood, and that was enough to turn him into an author who got book club sales & sales & sales at a time when they were booming. He created a string of very readable, and re-readable, books in the adventure & thriller with military overtones class, and there will be a lot more re-reading as his fans remember him.
[The film got an outing on Five USA a couple of weeks after the author's death. Ed.]
| Marianne Elliot-Said a.k.a. Poly Styrene, punk performer, 53 |
The Punk era is billed as a reaction to the huge stage shows of bands like Yes from people who felt unlimited by a lack of musical ability. Poly Styrene's band X-Ray Specs could make a loud noise with the rest of them and deliver the obligatory rants about opting out of a broken society. Ms Styrene enjoyed a few years in the spotlight then retired, exhausted. She returned to the business in the 1990s and continued on into the 2000s, but the great leveller, cancer, brought her resurgence to a close.
 Coming Soon
"If you're looking for Bizarre, Macabre, and Downright Horrible with a Couple of Laughs thrown in, This is the Book for You!"
"Thirteen tales to knock your socks off and send you running for cover!"
Vintage : 1975-2008 / Category: Horror
Another winner from Farrago Books |
It's all under control
Ex-pres Mubarak of Egypt has a great tactic for getting out of awkward questions about money which disappeared during his reign. He has a heart attack and disappears off to hospital when the quizzing gets too close to home. Problem solved.
 The cunning Egyptian authorities have a solution to the Mubarak heart-attack scam. He's now under arrest in his hospital bed. Problem unsolved.
 Good News!
Your ISA allowance has been increased.
BAD NEWS: The banks pay crap interest rates on ISAs.
 A world gone mad?
Why would anyone in their right mind think that G. Broon, the man who tipped Britain into bankruptcy, is a suitable candidate to be in charge of the International Monetary Fund?
• According to Broon, everyone else is to blame for blowing Britain's reserves and plunging the country into debt which will take a generation to pay off.
Junk politics, junk status
The credit rating of the United States is heading for junk status alongside Ireland's, as the guys at Standard and Poor's take a dim view of Pres. O'Bummer's Brownish attempts to spend his way out of a recession and drive his country deeper into debt.
BTW, what a miserable name for a credit rating agency. Surely someone could have thought of Superior & Megarich's when they were setting it up?
[Maybe it's something with having to deal with bog-standard and piss-poor customers. Ed.]
 The latest cash demand from an MP – a taxpayer-funded nose job for Redward Milipede.
Status of a sort
G. Broon, robbed of the chance to be boss of the IMF, has settled for an unpaid job at the World Economic Forum as a "strategy co-ordinator". He sees his job as stopping the next financial crisis from happening. Which will probably involve the WEF getting advice from Gordie, the man who caused the last financial crisis, and doing the opposite.
• No salary but there's a "staffing" allowance of £750K, so Gordie can always employ himself as a cleaner on a massive wedge of cash.
Not me, Guv.
The NHS is supposed to be short of money but there seems to be MILLIONs available for flash cars and junkets for the bureaucrats of Strategic Health Authorities. So taxpayers' cash can't be in that short supply.
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Gesornenplan Appelvort!
Secret experiments by the US army are being blamed for outbreaks of gibberish from US and Canadian TV presenters. Could it be that the British army is testing its own version of the weapon right next to the Palace of Westmonster?
Please press the "incredible" button once more!
Doing housework makes people depressed, is the latest conclusion from the "No shit, Sherlock" Academy of Wasting of Time with Pointless Research Projects. And, apparently, living somewhere extra clean also depresses the immune system.
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 Spot the joke
Town where hens ruled the roost
Seaside town's £39,000 job . . . running beach trips for locals
Minister: Feminism widened poverty gap
At last, Balls stops denying Labour's deficit
Doing a bit of forward planning, Kate? [Kate Middleton checks out baby clothes]
Men with a pot belly 'more likely to go blind'
One of these was the Daily Wail's April Fool. Guess which!
By their friends shall ye kno it!
Why do we know is AV is such a bad idea? The wrong Milipede, "Clueless" Clegg, Eddie Izzard, Stephen Fry, et al think it's a brilliant idea. And AV gave us Call Me Dave and Redward "The Wrong" Milipede as party leaders!
The "Say YES to AV" campaign is in trouble for substituting Tony Robinson for a black Rastafarian poet on leaflets distributed outside London. But 'appen they just thought that people would be more likely to recognize Tone as a supporter even if they didn't bother to read the leaflet.
p.s. AV is "a miserable little compromise", said N. Clegg in April 2010.
Well! Who'd have thunk it! Politicians lying!
Surprise! The "Yes to AV" gang's response to losing the argument has been to accuse everyone else of lying. Now, they've been caught out in a HUGE lie of their own. Lots of the celebs alleged to have embraced the cause are saying they did no such thing, and it would appear the "Yes" campaign is built on lies.
Hands wrung while you wait
The Usual Suspects are all steamed up over weapons sales made by successive governments to poisonous foreign regimes. What the Suspects don't seem to realize is that we need the money after 13 years of Labour's wasteful spending and if the bad guys didn't get the stuff from us, they'd get it from the Russians, the Chinese, the French, the Americans . . . Who don't need the cash as much as we do.
Going both ways from the same starting point
I.D. Smiff, the work & pensions sec., would have us believe that most people want to work past 65 if they're going to live longer. Saga, on the other hand, reckons most people want to retire as soon as they can after 50. They can't both be right.
Scruffbag obliged to smarten up
Call Me Dave is having to wear tails to go to the Royal Weeding. Wouldn't it be kinder for Her Maj. to cancel his invitation to spare the poor sod the embarrassment?
[Wouldn't it be great if he turned up in a fluorescent pink crocodile tail and pleaded a cock up at the outfitter's? Ed.]
Plods in Wimbledon had to call out the duty doctor to get a "life extinct" ruling on a headless corpse, which they hauled from the river Wandle. That sort of decision, apparently, is above their pay grade.
The Ed Milly Band is in line for The Worst Orchestra of 2011 award.
The worst political slogan of the decade is the "Yes to AV" campaign's notion that "AV will make MPs work harder". The public are just not buying it.
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We knew, we knew
The BBC (well, one of its news executives) has admitted that sending reporters to stand outside buildings or on motorway bridges, somewhere near the scene of a news story, is a total waste of licence-payers' money.
So what?
A bloke who was in some soap opera or other, which we never watched, has been charged with murder.
It's the way the world works
Tony B. Liar pretending he can bring peace to the Middle East, Gordie "Broon Hole in the Economy" Broon pretending he's a serious candidate for the boss of the International Monetary Fund. What next? G.W. Bush running for head of the US space programme?
 Bare-faced or else!Wearing a face-concealing mask, such as a Moslem head dress, is now illegal in France and perpetrators face a spot fine for doing it. They also face derision from outraged French citizens and possible forceful unmasking by an angry mob. Hoodies are a grey area.
 They're at it again, the Euroswindlers
The EU is planning to slap a bogus green tax of 1.5/litre on diesel fuel, and almost as much on petrol and jet fuel, in the name of saving the planet – something which the EU is incapable of delivering. But hey, that's never stopped crooked politicians in the past.
 Please press the "incredible" button
A fag end tossed from a passing car set fire to a scrapyard and it conflagration spread to a vast fuel dump under the M1, and caused a fire which totally wrecked an elevated section of the motorway? They had to be totally desperate for an explanation to come up with that!
The current, and better, theory is that someone was arson around under the motorway.
The spy in your pocket
Got an Apple mobile phone? Did you know that it's bugging you? The phone's operating system keeps a permanent record of wherever the user has been, and copies it to the user's PC during synchronization operations. So it's not a good idea for "celebs" and others who visit dodgy places to have an iphone. Not with so many spies and hackers around!
Apple would like its customers to believe that it is bugging them and tracking where they go due to a bug in its mobile phone operating system, which will be fixed eventually. Well, that sounds likely.
Oh, dear!
The French, who have been demanding no internal borders in Europe, have suddenly realized that it's a bad idea. Mainly because a flood of French-speaking Tunisians is washing into their country via the open border with Italia to get away from the revolution in Tunisia, a former French colony.
 Nice to see they've got their priorities right
Councils in Scotland are putting speed bumps on roads which are impossible to speed on due to continuous strings of potholes. And they say the Scots are supposed to have some common sense.
The price of more of the same
Pres O'Bummer is hoping people will give him one billion bucks to buy a second term. That's one hell of a lot of influence-peddling!
Thanks a bunch, Dave
Our fearless leader, who is a totally dozy dunce when it comes to history, has given Pakistan £950 million to educate terrorists. So that's filling the Brown Hole in the economy put on hold for a while longer.
Dirty deal not bought
The African Union (bought and paid for by M. Gaddaffiy) is hurt by the rejection of a peace deal for Libya which would have let the blessed leader continue to posture and plunder.
Sick, or what!
Some headbanger is going to put a bottle of blood (+ anticoagulant) from Pope John-Paul II on display at the Vatican as part of his beautification process.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now! |
Today's history is tomorrow's joke
We're used to seeing the Time Team building castles in the air based on a few bits of stone and pottery, so it comes as no surprise to find that it's a trait common to all archaeologists. A gang in Derbyshire have built a massacre out of 9 bodies and they've now convinced themselves that the Iron Age wasn't a peaceful Golden Age in which hill forts were for show rather than for defence. Which rather flew in the face of what we know about human nature anyway.
You can relax now!
Syria is now a much safer place to be. This is the only conclusion that can be drawn from the Assad regime's decision to end a state of emergency, which has lasted an astonishing 48 years. Middle East experts are of the opinion that there was so much relief that the Baath party survived the original emergency in 1963 that no one even thought about declaring it over and everyone forgot it was there until this year.
Surprise!
The persecuted "Christian Electrician" has been told that he can have a cross on the dashboard of his van after all. Wakefield District Housing's ban has been lifted after WDH blew a lot of taxpayers' money on some secret meetings. The decision was the sort of petty control-freak, micro-management that we have come to expect from New Labour and the jobsworths of the European Union. Is this a small sign of a drift back to sanity? [Probably not. Ed.]
The current management of the Church of England has become so anti-Christian that it wants to limit the number of alleged Christians in its "faith" schools to 10% at most.
No Surprise
The AV system is the sort of thing you'd get from an AV poll on what sort of electoral system to have – the winner is something that nobody wants as their first choice. | 
The mad mullah in Mazar-i-Sharif, who got 4 Gurkhas, a Norwegian pilot, a Swede and a Romanian, all working for the United Nations, killed by Aghan religious nutters because American religious nutters burnt a copy of the Koran sometime last month.
"Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.
