BlackFlag News
BFN email address
Previous MonthNext Month
SO WHERE IS IT? BFN's employees, their relatives and everyone we know (and a lot of people we don't know) are still waiting for our share of the $1M Nobel prize awarded to the people of the European Union rather than its eurocrats, who are bound to steal it.

Romiley News

Another Council Tax swindle

22 local councils are putting their Council Tax up by more than the 2% trigger-level for a local referendum – not that any of the swindlers will be offering one. Predictably, Greater Manchester (Labour) is top of the list with a demand for 3.9% more and STOCKPORT (Liberal With Your Dosh-Dem.) is 7th in the list with a rise of 2.8%.


D. Milibandit, a.k.a. Bananaman, Bliarite MP

Since failing in the Labour leadership contest, he has been sulking in his tent (when not feathering his nest) and brooding about being stabbed in the back by his bro. In the absence of a popular movement to ditch the caviar commie Ed Milibandit, Dave has decided to move to the US and take a £300K (plus perks) "job" doling out other people's cash on the aid gravy train. [So still not in the real world? Ed. – but not a Milibandit!] Dave is now the boss of International Rescue, so lots of jokes about puppets and spaceships and gadgets.


GW sloganWhat global warming is that, Oh, Swindlers?

triangleAll talk and no delivery
Britain is officially "wintrified" and we're "enjoying" the coldest March for 47 years. So where's all the Global bluddy Warming we're supposed to be getting? It's the usual story, the scaremongers have had their money but they haven't delivered. And what's even worse, the government is going ahead with Eddie-baby Milipede's lunatic scam to tax carbon dioxide production and close down the coal-fired power stations which we need to keep the lights on when the wind doesn't have to be blowing. Cheers, Dave!

triangleMore BBC tripe
Yes, it's happened again. We're having the coldest March for nearly 50 years and the BBC trots out an "expert" to blame it on Global Warming caused by man-made (and therefore taxable by crooked governments) carbon dioxide inserted into the atmosphere from about the time in the late 20th century when the "experts" stopped panicking about the Earth diving into another Ice Age and went the other way [as they have done regularly for the last 4 or so generations].

More GWS tripe
"Snowfalls are now just a thing of the past", Dr David Viner, a senior scientist in the climatic research unit at the University of East Anglia, announced in the Independent on 2000/03/20. He predicted that within a few years, winter snowfall would become "a very rare and exciting event" and "children just aren't going to know what snow is."
   Try telling that to the people who went without power for a week or so and all the farmers who lost thousands of lambs in the snows at the end of this month.

triangleWhy is every MP called Ed an idiot?
Energy Sec. E. Davey has drifted off into La-La Land. Adding £300/year to the energy bill of every household by 2020 will save everyone loads of money, he sez. How? By forcing people to buy "energy-efficient" appliances with lower running costs.
   Which rather conveniently ignores the capital expenditure of THOUSANDS of pounds on a gas central heating boiler with a design life of 3-5 years [as opposed to 30+ for an old-style boiler without the fancy, built-to-fail-quickly electronics] and HUNDREDS of pounds on new TVs, cookers, washing machines, etc.
   Ed the Fantasist also fails to take account of the cost of RECYLING all the redundant appliances. Nice one, Ed! You're daft enough to be New Labour.
   "Nurse, he's out of bed again."


triangleAnother Stealth Tax
The next step, after the government has put the mockers on the concept of a free Press in Britain, is that every news outlet will have to wear a "government certified" stamp to prove that it has been vetted and castratated (to protect the guilty) by a committee of Leftie Luvvies. And natch, the price will have to go up to pay for the bureaucracy of the vetting process. Welcome to yet another Leftie Stealth Tax and Gordon Broon doing more laffing in his political grave.


triangleWot Next?
The Stamp Act of 2012 will be passed in the United Kingdom on April 1, 2012 to create a new tax on publishers, particularly of newspapers. The stamp tax will be a tax on each printed publication and it will hit cheaper newspapers and their popular readership harder than wealthy consumers (because it will form a higher proportion of the purchase price).
   The initial assessed rate of tax will be one euro per whole newspaper sheet, and 10 euros per advertisement contained within. The act will have a chilling effect on publishers. Other than newspapers, the Act will required that all pamphlets, legal documents, commercial bills, advertisements, and other papers issued bear the tax.
   The tax will be blamed for the decline of English literature critical of the government during the period, notably with The Spectator going out of business the same year of the tax's enactment. The Act will be responsible for increasingly greater taxes and a wider spectrum of materials affected until its repeal in 2155.

travel news

triangleIs your journey really necessary?
British tourists going to Cyprus have been advised to take lots of cash as the banks there are unlikely to reopen anytime soon. Hiring an armed bodyguard is also recommended to keep muggers at bay.
  Around £4 BILLION in cash leaked off the island before the banks were closed, suggesting that the political class and the top people got plenty of warning of intitutional bank robbery in the offing before the shutters came down.

triangleAfrican break
Foreign Sec. Bill Hague is getting away from the annoying shambles over the banking crisis in Cyprus by taking a jaunt to Rwanda with popular singer person Angelina Jolie. We asked around the office but no one knew if she's the one who's famous for having a bum as big as all outdoors.


triangleThanks very much
The Bank of England has effectively STOLEN £101,700,000,000 from Britain's savers thanks to setting the bank rate at 0.5% in March 2009.

triangleSomething else we have to thank Broon 'n' Balls for . . .
This pair of financial geniuses paid £12,400,000,000 over the odds for shares in Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds TSB when these major banks went bust and had to be nationalized – taxpayers' money, of course. They tried to hide what they'd done in April 2010, just before they were evicted from office, but they have been found out thanks to the Freedom of Information Act. As a result of their secret write-off, the Coalition's figures of £4 and 61p respectively as "break-even" values for selling off shares in the banks to the private sector are fiction based on a swindle. [So what else is new? Ed.]

The EU, better out than in"Why steal from banks? Because that's where the money is." — Slick Willie Sutton, US professional bank robber
The EU has stolen €6,000,000,000 from savers with cash in banks on Cyprus. The ministers who decided that they have the right to steal from bank accounts in any member country of the eurozone have no mandate to do this, and it is a clear breach of the European Convention on 'Uman bluddy Rights at the very least. But hey! That's the European Union for you – legality and other people's property count for nothing under the dead hand of European Collectivism with its prime directive of maintaining Eurocrat lifestyle.

triangleStand by for a few dead politicians?
The government of Cyprus is proposing a 25% tax on big bank deposits (of the sort made by the Russian Mafia in recent years) in order to get the German bail-out. The island's Gordon Broon economy has left it in the extraordinary position of having to raise £6 BILLION to qualify for a bail-out of £8 BILLION, as this is the way the eurozone economy works. The island's health service is now busy importing Geiger counters in anticipation of an outbreak of polonium poisoning in the ranks of those who have upset the Russians.


triangleDon't Panic!
The latest scaremong is that Germany will start another European war by being prosperous and hated so much by the bankrupt Latin EuroNations that the have-nots will lash out at the haves. Not that the war will last all that long if Germany can afford guns & bullets and the beggar nations can't.

triangleWhen's it our turn, Dave?
If the Falklanders got the chance to vote 1,514-3 to stay British, when do the British get the same chance to vote to be British and escape the EuroMonster?

triangleHow Strange
Dave the Leader and the Leftie Luvvie Libs 'n' Labs all think that their plan for Press censorship and control is brilliant. How strange, then, that practically every country in the world, including Russia, is lining up to condemn their plan to end Press freedom in Britain and give the nation a Orwellian Ministry of Truth, which will determine what newspapers can say, even if it's just politically convenient fiction or even outright lies, and what they can't say, especially if it's unvarnished and inconvenient truth.
p.s. There's a rather obscure LP floating around, in which an indignant American describes the composer of the Horst Wessel Lied as a "consort of prostitutes". BFN is now wondering whether our own national Hacked-Orf "consort" has come up with any good tunes recently.

Crime News

One law for them, and the rest of us have to pay

triangleOn 2009/09/09, ex-PC M. Baillon battered in the driver's window of a disabled motorist's car with his truncheon as his colleague was standing on the bonnet, kicking in the windscreen. A third copper took over the role of moving on a car which stopped whilst his colleagues were dragging their victim out of his wrecked vehicle. The motorist was eventually fined £235 for not wearing a seat belt.
   Gwent Police decided that none of the coppers had done anything wrong, and paid out £66,000 of taxpayers' money to the motorist for compensation, repairs and legal costs. A video of the incident, taken by the police car's on-board camera, went viral on YouTube. PC Baillon eventually quit the force and cited the derision of his fellow officers as grounds for unfair dismissal. Incredibly, a tribunal has bought his story and he now stands to collect in excess of £100,000 of taxpayers' cash for his self-inflicted misfortune.

Association of Cheap Police OfficersACPO Strikes again!
The Association of Cheap Police officers has come up with another brilliant wheeze. The British public has been on at them to get more coppers on the streets since time immemorial. So ACPO intends to put all coppers in yellow high-viz jackets in the hope that the public will think that everyone in such a jacket – dustmen, street sweepers, postmen, lollypop ladies, building site workers et al – is a copper.
   This is another visible demonstration of the persistence of the New Labour Legacy to our police "service" and the Tony B. Liar "appearances are everything" culture.

Who are the Jokers responsible for inflicting The Man With No Shame on us?

triangleOne law for them, and the rest of us have to pay. Again
Thanks to all the subsidised booze available at the House of Common Criminals, the independent (sacked Labour) MP E. Joyce has been denied further hospitality until he stops getting drunk and assaulting people. Maybe this is where Dave the Leader should start his campaign against binge drinking and violence.

triangleWasteful Plod
Police "services" in England and Wales are wasting one-third of their uniform costs – £2,600,000/year – through paying significantly over the odds for kit. Who do they think they are? The MoD?

triangleWho sez the police don't have money to burn?
Operation Yewtree has blown £1 MILLION of taxpayers' cash on pursuing ancient complaints of groping with no hope of obtaining physical or witness evidence. The prosecutors have been using "box office event" arrests to put themselves in the limelight, and police officers have been inviting the media along to cosmetic dawn arrests for the same purpose.

Produits Gourmand Formidable présente:
Terrine de Cheval

Terrine de ChevalThis Month Only!
Exciting bulk-buy offers

• Full EU Certification on all products
• Genuine Bargains Daily!

While stocks last, hurry, hurry!

Full details from Romiley Personal Requisites, Unit 14, Riverside Drive Alley

Home News
UK Flag

triangleA plague on all your houses!
The pound has hit a 3-year low against the dollar following UKIP's failure to win the Eastleigh by-election. The seat was left vacant by the retirement of former Cabinet minister C. Huhne, who is about to enjoy free accommodation courtesy of Her Majesty. The results are given below:

None of the Below47.2%old UKIP election poster

triangleDeath machines R Us
If you bought a Beko fridge-freezer, dryer or gas cooker manufactured by this Turkish company between 2000 and 2006, or made before 2009 in the case of gas cookers, you could be living on borrowed time. Faulty Beko products are a fire risk, they have been linked to 11 deaths and the company is currently having to fit new parts to 138,000 appliances, which may be faulty. triangleNice one, son!
Education Sec. M. Gove must be doing a grand job. How do we know? Because the teaching union ATL passed a motion of no confidence in him at its annual do.

world news

Oh, Bummer!Government of the People by the Stoopid
President O'Bummer has been obliged to implement $85,000,000,000.00 of spending cuts which will be deeply destructive to US national security, domestic investments, and core government functions. He and the Republicans have been playing a game of Chicken with the US economy, and neither blinked before the deadline arrived for "a blunt and indiscriminate instrument, which was never intended to be implemented and does not represent a responsible way". Even so, the president remains optimistic. "This is not going to be an apocalypse as some people have said," he told his contact at BFN. "It's just dumb and it's going to hurt."

trianglePutin's Russia sinks to a new low
Anti-corruption lawyer S Magnitsky blew the whistle on a £150,000,000 fraud by Russian government officials and, in 2009, ended up dead in prison in Moscow. He is now being put on trial posthumously for tax evasion at a secret court of the sort being wished on Britain by Dave the Leader and Calamity Clegg.
   It is believed that the Putinocracy is attempting to sleaze its dead victim and use his state-sleazed condition to contaminate other opponents and critics of the regime.
 • The Russian government is refusing to say whether the remains of the deceased have to be in court at a posthumous trial.

triangleTransport Apartheid in Occupied Palestine & Jordan
The Israeli regime has been accused, yet again, of institutional racialism. They have begun to introduce a segregated bus system, starting with separate services for their Palestinian residents who, no doubt, will soon be required to sit at the back of shared buses.

triangleJob vacancy filled
As a result of hectic horse-trading at the Vatican, a new pope has been elected. It was a bit of a rush job as the cardinals were eager to get back home for their Easter holiday. Jorge Bergogho, trading as Francis I, is from Argentina, 76 and the owner of but one lung. He is laden with guilt about not speaking about against the junta, which caused its own demise in by invading the Falkland Islands in 1982, and he is a Jesuit, so another Inquisition is not out of the question.
   The new pope takes control of an organization notorious for covering up serial child abuse and assaults by homophile managers. He slapped his credentials on the table right away by announcing that the "implanted" British population of the Falkland Islands should be replaced by descendants of the Spanish immigrants, who were "implanted" in South America and who decided that it was Divine Will that they exterminate most of the indigenous population.


www.Crooks In

Now going into its second decade on the World Wide Web—a brilliant resource exposing Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts, next-of-kin scams, scams involving loot from foreign wars and much, much more!
CLICK HERE to find out what email miracles are on offer.

space news

You can run but you can't hide!

triangleNASA might have assured us that the asteroid Apophis won't hit the Earth in 2036, as predicted by Russian doom merchants, but the Russkies won't go away. Two of them, the astronomers A. Oreshko and T. Kryachko, have found another death rock.
   2012YQ1, they reckon, will crash into the Earth in 2106. As this new death rock is of comparable size to Apophis; 230 metres in diameter as opposed to 270 for Apophis, the devastation will be much the same as that predicted for 2036.
   The impact will have the power of 25,000 Hiroshima atom bombs going off all at once. Which makes everyone currenlty on the staff of BFN glad to know that none of us will be around when it happens!


Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

Do YOU suffer from this problem? Then what YOU need is one of our range of commercial and political, personal fire extinguishers.
Choose from the RENNARD, the HUHNE (our popular environmental model) and the CLEGG MEGA-SYSTEM, which is built to extinguish the blazing trousers of an entire government.

Be sure to ask about our special
repeat customer discount.

extinguisher 3
extinguisher 1extinguisher 2pants on fire



Cleggie's Pants

Clegg Mega-System

Our prices start at just £149.99 / €261.01 plus NO VAT because we don't believe in it. Full details from Romiley Personal Extinguishers, Unit 999, Riverside Drive, Romiley. [Dedicated to the memory of Tony B. Liar, the original inspiration]


triangleIt's just a publicity stunt (which worked)
Have Walkers really upset veggies everywhere by putting real chicken and real bacon in their crisps instead of the usual chemical flavour concoction? Probably not, as there are lots of other crisp manufacturers. So any upset was just usual suspects lining up to enjoy being offended.


triangleStanding up for their rights
Following reports that Customs officers are performing secret and illegal searches of luggage at airports, passengers are striking back with anti-theft measures. In the first week of this month, 3 Customs officers have been sprayed with indelible dyes from commercial anti-disturbance packs and 5 have suffered hearing loss (probably temporary) through close exposure to audible alarms, which could be heard up to 2 miles away.
updateThe UK Border Agency has declined to reveal whether records of the covert rummages are now being kept. [None made up to 2013/02/28. Ed.]
updateThe UK Citizens' Rights Bureau has promised to step in vigorously on the side of anyone who is threatened with legal action over fitting "aggressive" anti-tamper devices to their luggage to frustrate thieves.


He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol The Bank of England, particularly deputy governors C. Bean and P. Tucker, who want to swindle savers even more with a NEGATIVE bank rate.

Far Queue symbol Apple Computers, which helps kids to spend hundreds of pounds of their parents' cash whilst playing "free" games.

Far Queue symbol Apple Computers, which wants your credit card details before you can download a "free" ibook.

Far Queue symbol British Gas, which bombards British households with 4 MILLION unsolicited nuisance calls per year.

Far Queue symbol Mother Teresa, who made millions of dollars disappear out of contributions to her charity.

Far Queue symbol The BBC which, like the NHS, blows millions of pounds of taxpayers' money on hush payments to potential whistle-blowers.

Far Queue symbol The doctors at Bolton NHS Trust, who fiddled death causes & rates to cover up poor care. Ditto staff at the Royal Wolverhampton, Medway, George Elliot and Walsall hospitals.

Far Queue symbol That banker with the £18 BILLION bonus, Rich Bicci or Bich Ricci, whatever his name is.

Far Queue symbol The Balls monster, who's pretending that everyone agrees with his view that the only way to get the country out of New Labour's economic mess, to which he contributed as G. Broon's string-puller, is to do it all over again by borrowing even more money and wasting it.

Far Queue symbol Labour fantasist T. Jowell, who thinks D. Milibandit dodging off to the USA to a charity sinecure is "a massive loss to politics".

Far Queue symbol Harridan Harperson, the Saddam Hussein of political correctitude, who thinks she has a special licence to call red-headed MPs ginger rodents.

Far Queue symbol "Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

back to toppage
Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, March MM13.