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A recycled Merry Xmas & a Guid New Year
to all our readers and two fingers to miserable multiculturalists, dastardly diversifiers and all other Xmas denyers. BFN would like to thank all who contributed to the 2014 issues and we hope to hear from you again, and your friends, in 2015!

Romiley News

No problems here

Our post-Xmas weather was cold and sunny with bird baths frozen solid and all wheeled bins firmly frozen shut. No snow, and liquid water puddles everywhere.

Romiley's Winter Wonderland Attraction deluged with snow

"Wonderland Snow Deluge" exposed as cheap trick


Rail network in chaos after Xmas
It happens every year, it's as traditional as Xmas itself and we're reporting it only to remind everyone that this good old British tradition was observed again this year.
The Office of Rail Regulation has launched its traditional make-work "investigation" into the rail chaos.

Notwork Rail bosses doing okay
M. Carne, who is paid £675K as the boss of Network Rail, is heading for a £135K bonus despite missing performance targets and causing the latest dose of "Xmas railway misery". His sub-bosses are all in line for healthy bonuses too. Ain't life grand in the "pretend it's not public" sector?

world news

Turkey to Triumph?
North Koreans hacked and threatened Sony in the USA to prevent the release of a comedy film about the assassination of the current Blessed Leader. Really? Given that Americans are now flocking to cinemas showing the film as a "patriotic duty", could it be that the Sony guys saw the film, realized it is rubbish and got their PR bunch to create a good conspiracy story to sell it?

The right man for the job
The appointment of David Mellor as Britain's ambassador to Argentina will be announced in the new year, BFN's insider at Downing Street has told us. "What the Argies need is someone who speaks their style of language," he added. Meaning 'abusive' rather than Spanish, of course.

Makes sense only to the EU
The EU banned landing fish which fell outside a quota, which meant that millions of perfectly edible fish had to be sorted out of a catch and just dumped overboard. Now, the ban has been rescinded. The out-of-quota fish now have to be landed. But they can't be sold and eaten, they have to be sorted out of a catch, hauled to a landfill site and dumped. Why? So that the EU can collect the landfill tax, which it wasn't getting when the fish were dumped in the sea.

Mirrors banned in N. Korea?
This would appear to be so if the current Blessed Leader – Kim Jong Whoever – thinks he can get away with calling Pres. O'Bummer a monkey and there will be no sarcastic come-backs.

Wholeman Hunt writes:

Obesity: some good news at long last
A survey of Europe by the OECD has found that one-quarter of the people in Britain are grossly fat to a life-endangering extent. But there is some good news. The European Court of Justice's ruling that obesity equals disability means that Britain can claim what amounts to a rebate of some of its EU contributions to fund an NHS anti-obesity programme.
   All we have to do, apparently, is slap an EU sticker on the scheme and pretend the cash came from the European Commission rather than the pockets of British taxpayers.

A correspondent writes: “If I have an illness which prevents me from gaining weight and claiming an Obesity Disability Allowance, will the ECJ declare me disabled, too, and a benefits candidate?”

Why only now?
N. Lamb, the current Health Minister, is hoping to score points by promising to hold to account, the owners of care homes which offer poor standards of care. But the British public is entitled to ask: Why is this not already the rule? And why so late, Minister, bearing in mind that your party has been in office for nearly five years? And why didn't Labour make it the rule if they care as much about the elderly as they pretend? And why isn't the public sector, e.g. local councils which run care homes, included so that public servants paid by the taxpayer can also be held to account?

Ebola "screening" exposed as a sham
A British nurse, who has been working with ebola patients in Sierra Leone, is now in isolation in a Glasgow hospital. She was vetted twice during her journey home; at Sierra Leone and at Heathrow; and passed the test both times. Which suggests that the "testing" is more cosmetic than a safeguard. But hey! It's the government doing it. So it's bound to be rubbish.


The winner of the Harvey's Best Quiche Competition . . .
. . . is Harvey!

Losing hand
The BBC is upset because its own cuts to the World Service mean that its own peculiarly biased version of the news is being overshadowed by propaganda from Russia and China. “The Beeb is losing the Information War,” laments one of its mouthpieces. How very frustrating for Red Ed and his cronies.

Language update
REDACTED, which used to mean "edited out", now means "we're lying to protect the guilty by omission".

Think of a number
The business minister, Mr. Hancock (another comedian?), is claiming that the Coalition has saved the business sector a whopping 10 Billion since it came to office by abolishing vexatious regulations. Ones like bus companies being required to hang on to discarded food remains as "lost property". He also reckons, having thought of another number, that there is 20 Billion more to be saved by 2020.
   Just a thought, but old Hankers could do a greater service to the nation by weeding out the jobsworths who impose the daft rules in the first place and holding some public executions as a warning to others of the same temperament. Works in Iran, apparently.

Great? Good? Hardly
Among the New Year 'honours' are a CBE for C. Dick, the copper whose bungled operation got Brazilian visitor J.C. de Menezes killed, and a KCRVO for D. Manning, the Tony B. Liar advisor, who helped him to start the 2003 illegal war in Iraq.

space news

Cows on Mars?

The US rover Curiosity, now in its third year of exploring the Red Ed Planet, has detected burps of methane during its travels. The gas could be coming from comet debris thawing out, or released by bacteria, or maybe even released by larger life-forms living in underground farms?

Mr. J. Obsworth writes:

Labour's bedroom tax is blamed as the root cause of the rise in reliance on food banks.

Captain Underpants (Labour, Rhondda) calls for a complete refurbishment of all "Dickensian" food banks at the taxpayer's expense.

Surprise! More people in 'rich' Germany go to food banks than in 'poor' Britain.

Archbish of Cantab too busy sounding off about food banks to cater for the nation's spiritually hungry.

Labour will nationalize the grief/grievance industry to ensure that it receives proper funding from the taxpayer and that it concentrates only on ishues of relevance to daisy-chewing looney lefties.

Red Ed to reduce the age of voting consent to 12. "If they're old enough to have babies, they're old enough to vote."

Ed Balls to introduce a Cardboard Tax to ensure that those who evade his Mansion Tax by living in cardboard boxes make their fair contribution to repairing the Tory austerity crisis.

Because of their ubiquity, Public Health England has decided to let pizzas and burgers count towards the 5-a-day which everyone has to consume.

Ed Balls plans to introduce a 5-Deficit Tax to ensure that those who fail to eat their 5-a-day pay their fair contribution to the NHS. He is also planning a progressive increase to 7, 9 and then 12-a-day to maximize revenue from the new tax.

The revelation of the month has to be that millionaire faux lefty R. Brand has a personal make-up artist, who straightens his chest hairs before he does a TV appearance!

Tony B. Liar has always been opposed to getting his own hands dirty where torture is concerned. But if others want to do it, he's not bovvered.

Clottish Clegg has informed the nation that his wife gave him some boxing gloves for Xmas last year. She obviously thinks there's no danger of brain damage to what's not there.


Vlad goes into whinge mode
Pres Putinovski has announced that Russia will be playing the victim card on a permanent basis from now on, and that if he invades any more of his neighbours, including the rest of Ukraine, it will be the fault of the West. You stroll off with $40 BILLION from your country's treasury, you make yourself president for life and you invade a few neighbours and what does the rest of the world do? Slap all sorts of inconvenient sanctions on you. Where's the justice in that?

Presenters on R4's "Today" 'utterly terrified'
The looney lefties at the BBC have blown another fuse. The actual amount of cuts in the public sector is fairly cosmetic but the Beeb's looneys would have us believe that we're heading back to the 1930s in terms of poverty and despair. So much for balanced reporting.

Pure as the proverbial slush
Why is there such a clamour for an inquiry into the Bliar regime's part in the CIA's anti-terrorist activities? Because the usual suspects see millions of pounds of taxpayers' money available in legal fees if it happens, and more personal publicity than you can shake a stick at.
The Milibandits aren't coming out of this too well. The boy David, now a big wheel in the US charity sector, has very grubby mitts and are we really going to believe that Red Ed didn't get to know what was going on around him?

Islamist around the world are killing over 5,000 people every month. So the argument isn't about whether rendition and torture should have been done, it's about how badly it was done.

Tony B. Liar "must face a (CIA-style?) grilling" over his complicity in alleged torture? Works for us!

"If we abandon our values and the rule of law, it will embolden those who seek to do us harm." Really? The truth of the matter is that they will seek to do us harm no matter what they do because they wear the Stout Shield of Victimhood. And what's wrong with saying the CIA was emboldened by the murderous antics of the Islamists?

Caviar commie Red Ed is so out of touch that even his own MPs are stepping out of line over his desire to whitewash the Bliar regime's complicity in CIA counter-terrorism operations in the Noughties.

Fair enough
Batty Balls would have us believe that women will bear the brunt of Tory plans to cut the Labour deficit which he laboured to create when in the last Labour government, let us not forget. The weaselly implication is that something unfair is going on. But maybe women are getting a disproportionately high share of benefits, and that's why cutting everyone's share equally takes more money from women.
   But, of course, Balls doesn't believe in fair do's for all.

As Labour pretends it will save the NHS if elected next year . . .
The reasons why the NHS is being overwhelmed include the consequences of Labour's 2004 deal with GPs, which gave them lots more money for doing less and less, and the bonuses for meeting Labour's arbitrary targets. Oh, yes, and Labour's policy of deliberately converting an economy with no debt, as inherited in 1997, to one with a £1 TRILLION Brown Hole when Wee Gordy was chucked out by an ungrateful nation; a debt which continues to grow and grow as government spending continues to exceed income. No wonder there isn't the cash to pay for everyone to have their own personal physician.


global warming sloganMore meddling
The EU is imposing new anti-pollution rules on ferry services from January 2015, which will push ticket prices up by 30% and drive marginal shipping lines out of business. This is being done in the name of reducing pollution. But, as it's the blunderbusses of the EU doing it, the net effect will be to increase traffic through the Channel tunnel and increase pollution in Britain.

global warming sloganIt was so obvious, too
Surprise! Dredging rivers has prevented more flooding of the Somerset Levels this year. So much for the ousted Environment Agency boss Lord Smith's assurance that last year's floods had nothing to do with his agency's deliberate police of banning dredging in order to create floods. At £100K for a 3-day week, he was clearly as overpaid as he was stoopid and unfit for the job.

global warming sloganKeep on digging . . .
2014 is the hottest year in recorded history, yell the Global Warming Swindlers at the BBC, the Met Office, the World Meteorological Organization and the rest of the usual suspect outfits. How strange, then, that 2014 will be beaten for hotness by SIX of the last 16 years.
So why the lie? Because the GWS have gathered in Peru this month for a junket and another attempt to swindle more billions from the world's taxpayers to give to themselves, of course, and also to the dictators running poor countries to protect these countries from global warming which isn't happening.

Snowman Protection League Xmas Appeal
Is there no relief from the Great Global Warming Swindle?

global warming sloganDo as we say, etc.
The Global Warming Swindlers' jamboree in Peru, which is supposed to be about reducing carbon dioxide emissions, has produced more CO2 than the entire output of a small country over the same period. No meaningful agreement is expected as the vested interests are poles apart plus a lot more.
It seems the plan to power the party with green energy flopped and vast numbers of diesel generators had to be rushed in to the vast site at the last minute.

Home News
UK Flag

Will we miss him? Naaah!
Gordon 'Effin Broon, the man who wrecked the British economy, is to retire from Parliament at the next general election on a stonking and thoroughly undeserved pension. This news comes as quite a surprise as everyone thought he quit to feather his nest, Tony B. Liar-style, back in 2010.

Good News: the country might be £1,500,000,000,000 in debt but the economy is doing so well that the government will be splurging another £1 BILLION of money we don't have – because we're deep in debt – into the pockets of dictators and corrupt officials in the name of overseas aid.

Just another hand going into the taxpayer's pocket
Will we ever have a hunger-free Britain. The looney left would have us believe that throwing vast amounts of taxpayers' cash at usual suspects will do it. But they have no answer to why people buy cigarettes, booze, mobile phones and huge TVs instead of food for themselves and their kids. [Could it be that they think they don't need to buy food because they expect the taxpayer to buy it for them and put it in food banks? Ed.] And the loonies don't seem to be able to square this with the results of yet another of these surveys, which found that vast numbers of "poor" kids are obese!

Worst of the worst
The Home Office is in line for the Most Incompetent Government Department Award for 2014. The latest scandal is that the idle staff are making no attempt to check up on the people to whom they hand a British passport, with the result that thieves, murderers and criminals of all sorts get them more or less as of right just by telling the idle staff that they are okay.
No Home Office staff will be sacked for ignoring the rules and no managers will lose a bonus for permitting breaches of the civil service code.
Home Sec. T. May will not be held responsible for her department's lapses.

Don't mention the . . .
Labour MPs have been ordered to change the subject when someone mentions immigration because what New Labour did in the way of gerrymandering with migrants is still terminally embarrassing. So they have to talk instead about the NHS (Stafford hospital and the hundreds of deaths through neglect whilst staff faked statistics to meet New Labour's targets, the state of the NHS in Wales under Labour) or housing (council flats for trade union bosses being paid more than the prime minister) or another of Labour's "triumph" areas.

Farqi Nell writes:

This is how local councils operate
Pembrokeshire council made unlawful cash payments of £45,000 to its chief executive but it has decided not to try to get the money back. Even though the council will have to make savings of £20 million over the next 2 years because it is Pem-broke into more bits than you can count.
   Worse, when the chief executive was obliged to quit after a vote of no confidence by the members of the council, the same gang of brain-dead councillors voted a £280,000 golden goodbye for rejected boss B. Parry-Jones. So that's the best part of one-third of a million quid gone down the drain despite the council's pleas of poverty. And no one will be charged with misconduct in a public office because everyone knows it makes councillors feel good to throw money at people who don't deserve it and, of course, this is the public sector and the taxpayer will always bail them out, one way or another, in the end.

More economics of the madhouse
The Chancellor's shift in stamp duty means that house prices will rise by one-third by 2020. But if they are unaffordable now, how will it help anyone if they become unaffordable + 33%?

I'm all right, Jack
The Liberals have joined Labour in the PayDay Loan Economy club. Like Labour, they don't care if the country drowns in the debt they helped to create as long as their noses stay in the trough.

More creative accounting
The Chancellor's 25% tax on profits made by the usual diverters is uncollectable, say the experts. But all he has to do is let HMRC's creative accountants think of a number, then double it, and present the diverters with this bill. Which they will pay, knowing that they have swindled the British taxpayer out of a hell of a lot more.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Crime News
Mafia MacEye writes:
NCA? Needs Complete Abolition?

When it was set up, the Notional Crime Agency's hype was that it would strike fear into the hearts of criminals. But the fact of the matter is that it just can't cope with the workload and criminals are still getting away with it.

They've done it again
Brain-dead civil servants at the Ministry of Defence have blown £5,700,000 of taxpayers' money on earplugs that don't work. But the good news is that no one will be sacked and no bonuses will be withheld.

More police crime
A Commons committee has ruled that the police have been abusing the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act – anti-terrorism legislation – to spy on journalists. And the proof that they knew what they were doing lies in the failure of the coppers concerned to keep proper records; a clear case of cover-up by omission.
No dawn raid on offenders are expected and none of the senior police officers who authorized abuse of the RIPA will be sacked.

More police PC crap
The Gwent police "service" is protecting the identity of a dangerous and violent paedophile on the usual "rights of the criminal" grounds.

More police commissioner crap
The PCC of Liverpool reckons that The Cuts will mean that in 3 years' time, the police won't be able to respond to emergencies and patrol the streets at the same time. But as they don't patrol the streets now – be honest, when was the last time you saw a copper in Romiley? – how is anyone going to notice a difference?

Bogus statistic No. 193: 90% of murders do not result in death.


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Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol Deputy Children's Commissar S. Berelowitz, of whom it was said: "I don't know what planet this woman lives on."

Far Queue symbol New Labour's conscience cowboys: we all know who they are.

Far Queue symbol A. Burnhan, former Labour health sec., who tried to block a full inquiry into the neglect and unnecessary deaths at Stafford hospital whilst New Labour was in charge, and still thinks it would have been a good idea.

Far Queue symbol The useless bozos running HMRC, who can't organize a helpline service that actually has people there to answer incoming calls.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, December MM14.