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Please Note:
The Following presentation may contain stunts and experiments which should not be imitated – so that you never realize just how easy they are to do.


Our local Liberals are worried
The man who held the seat which includes Romiley (ever since boundary changes handed it to the Liberals) has retired. The Liberal candidate is just a name on the ballot paper now. And so, even before the election campaign started, the Liberals dashed into smear mode. And did a pathetic job of it.
   They don't have anything to pin on the Tory candidate, so their plan is sleaze by association. They've come up with a list of things which the candidate's former employer (the MP for Bury) did to upset the Liberals, and they are offering this as "proof" that the Tory candidate will privatize the NHS and do all sorts of other terrible things.
   Truly, sleaze is the last resort of the politically bankrupt.

Council capers
Stockport Council has sent a bill for 1p to a 92-year-old woman, who died last year. The demand was for council tax and it contained the comforting news that it could be paid in installments. As the ½p coin has been abolished, BFN would be interested to know how this is possible.


global warming sloganBodgers on all sides
12% of the companies doing work for the government's Green Deal scam have been struck off for malpractice. Which indicates that 19% of the rest are doing shoddy work and a further 15% are doing suspect work.

The government's Green Crap is now costing every household in the land £214/year.

global warming sloganNever let the facts get in the way of a good story
Surprise! Despite all the doom and gloom from the Global Warming Swindlers, the BBC and the other usual suspects, Cyclone Pam (which clobbered Vanatu) wasn't the Greatest Storm of All Time. There have been 10 Category 10 cyclones in the South Pacific during the last 20 years and Pam was just the 4th strongest of them. And Vanatu was hit by a much worse storm in 1951.
   Worse for the swindlers, the actual evidence shows no increase in frequency and/or severity of cyclones with time, despite the swindlers' hysteria over anthropogenic climate change. And even worse, the sea level around Vanatu has been falling over the last 5 years.

The extent of the sea ice at both poles is the same as it was in 1979, when satellite measurements began. So where's all this global warming and why are there still polar bears around?


More milking of the motoring cash cow
If you're planning to drive somewhere, don't expect to reach your destination quickly. The government has decided to let councils put 20 mph speed limits on major arterial roads in cities and, natch, there will be the inevitable traffic cameras raising £100 fines. Barmy Boris is a big cheerleader for the scam.

In for the long haul
The Ecuador One, suspected rapist J. Assange, has been out of circulation in his single room at the embassy of Ecuador for 3 years, and he might have to serve another 5 years before the statute of limitations in Sweden kicks in. As the Metropolitan police "service" will have wasted £30 MILLION on surrounding the embassy by then, maybe the F.O. should try rattling its begging bowl in Sweden's direction. Or the cash could come out of the Overseas Aid budget.


A trend which refuses to go away
Two-Sheds Jackson, Two-Jags Prescott, and now Two-Kitchens Red Ed. One of his kitchens is tiny and used for photographs intended to bamboozle the voters into thinking that his millionaire's mansion ain't really that grand after all. Kitchen No. 2, on the other hand, is much grander and not for photographing.
The other kitchen, it can be revealed now, is in fact a practice kitchen, which was installed to give Red Ed somewhere to learn how to eat a bacon buttie.


Do you get a free bag with that?
Apple is bringing out a fancy watch with more gadgets than you can shake a stick at. But what good is a watch with a battery which runs out in 3 hours if you actually use the fancy gadgets? Apple is being very coy about the issue but the message seems to be that you'll need to carry a whole bagful of the things around, plus a charger, to be able to use the gadgets and know what time it is.

Farqi Nell writes:

In the public interest . . .
The British government is thinking of publishing details of how much loot Vlad the Putin's cronies have acquired as a result of their membership of Russia's kleptocracy. This would be done purely in the interests of informing the Russian public about where their money has disappeared to. And if the Russians choose to retaliate in kind; about people like Tony B. Liar, say; everyone will win.

PG Warning—Stealth Price Rise
PG tips pyramid T-bags contain less tea than before, but the price remains the same. The weight of an 80-T-bag box has gone down to 232 gms from 250 gms = a 7.2% price increase. Which is even more of an argument for never buying them unless they are on special offer.

Labour is planning to extend the scope of the Balls Mansion Tax to include a Second Kitchen Tax in the interests of fairness.

Pres Vlad the Putin is taking some time off this month to count some of his loot, and he is definitely not missing or skiving off.

Not me, Guv!
The Balls Monster has come up with a wonderful alibi. He's now telling us that he's no good at sums and his mother-in-law does them for him. So if his numbers don't add up when he's pretending to be a financial genius, it's her fault, not his.

Where there's an MP, there's a scam
MPs are renting out their properties in London and charging the taxpayers to rent another property or stay in hotels. Captain Underpants Bryant, the Scottish Labour leader Jim Murphy and Tory Health Sec. Andrew Lansley are all working the scam with 22 others.


TV debate or not?
+ + + Most people think none of the current crop of political leaders can be trusted and they would expect to see a 'debate' turn into a shambles slanging match + + + Dave the Leader wants a 'Big Room' debate so that he can stand back and watch the shambles wearing a 'what are they like?' expression + + + The BBC plans to show Red Ed preaching to an empty chair for 90 prime-time minutes + + + Bookmakers have made the empty chair odds-on favourite to win the 'debate' + + +

How very Stalinist
Red Ed wants TV debates before a general election to be made compulsory by law. Which means that any party leader who can't be bothered to get involved will go to gaol. Still, what else do you expect from a caviar commie control freak, who has no conception of what life is like in the real world?
A recent survey shows that most voters would support a law banning Red Ed from making any TV appearances at all.

How very French
In the name of EU solidarity, the French government has browbeaten the Belgians into dropping a plan to introduce a €2 coin to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the battle of Waterloo, which rid Europe of Napoleon Bonaparte, France's prototype for Adolf Hitler. The French, it seems, are still in denial about the Little Corporal's murderous rampages.

How very hysterical, or looney lefties with knickers in twist
An all-party committee of MPs has found that theGrauniad's hysterical gushing over the material leaked by the traitor E. Snowden was entirely unfounded. GCHQ isn't snooping on every bit of Web traffic and phone call made in Britain because there's simply too much of it to process.

Nothing upsets the average Europeon more than meeting someone who knows where the holes are in their treasured collection of Euromyths & legends.


I wish it to be true, therefore it is
A professor reckons he's found the cave-house where the alleged Jesus of Nazareth was raised. The home of the first 3-parent child was hacked out of a limestone hill, and parts of it still survive. The prof. announced that whilst he has no proof that Jesus every lived in it, there is no good reason to believe it was not Jesus' home. Apart from the total lack of proof that it was, of course.

Right, get on with this
The boss of the Metropolitan Police, Hulk Hogan Hyphen Howe, has come up with another way to blow a lot of money. He wants CCTV installed in all homes and businesses – ostensibly to catch burglars who don't know how to sabotage such a system, but more probably to increase the scope of the Surveillance Society. Pity Quad-H doesn't have something useful to fill his 'working' days.

Brilliant idea
Don't waste £3 BILLION on rebuilding the House of Common Criminals, says the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Just relocate Parliament to Wormwood Scrubs prison, which will add the benefit of reducing commuting for most peers and MPs.

More mindless target culture
HM Inspectorate of Constabulary has found that officers in police "services" which have a positive action policy to domestic abuse are locking up children to make their quotas for arrests.
The police are also locking up people with dementia, mental heath problems and other health problems when they get too much for care workers and NHS staff to handle.

Home News
UK Flag

Red Ed Explained – people with no sense of humour vote Labour.

Arguments for encouraging an Islamist takeover of Britain #2:
Harridan Harperson and other lefty wimmin with overwhelming feelings of entitlement will be wrapped up in a berka and rendered non-persons.

Jack Straw's £20 political memoirs are now being sold by PostScript for £6.99. Next stop 99pLand?

The magic is in the mushrooms?
C'lammity Clegg has decided to do God after a lifetime of atheism. Could his transformation have anything to do with his keenness to legalize possession of all currently banned drugs and his desire to give everyone a right of access to any drug they want?

New Labour thinking won't go away
NHS managers are still being allowed to delay diagnosis and treatment, including of cancer patients, in the name of fiddling targets.

A millionaire Tory donor uses coke by the bucketful, the Daily Disaster screamed. But it isn't going to tell anyone who he is, so that's everyone under suspicion.

Not what we're paying for
Police chiefs have been allowed to develop a culture of entitlement, which lets them feel free to steal from the taxpayer with fraudulent expenses claims, treat junior coppers as sex slaves, get away with bullying and expect all their blunders and misdeeds to be covered up. How very New Labour.

world news

Fooling no one
We all know that Vlad the Putin has plenty of people around him who are willing psychopaths and ready to do in as many "turbulent priests" as he finds inconvenient.
The Putinocrat on the Boris Nemtsov murder case has form for threatening to behead people and do a whitewash murder investigation. So, buckets of confidence in him. Not.
The only witness to the murder, Anna Duritskaya, who was right next to Boris Nemtsov when he was gunned down, is now under armed guard "somewhere in Russia" and not expected to say anything the regime wouldn't like to hear anytime soon.
Any CCTV camers which could have seen the Nemtsov murder were either switched off or pointed in another direction.
Something to be worried about: there are psychos in Russia who think Putin is just a wet and wimpy kleptocrat.

More planet-saving
The next thing that the EU wants to ban is the halogen spotlights much used in kitchens and bathrooms. The idiots at the European Commission wants them replaced by fluorescent or LED bulbs which cost 10-15 times more, probably not realizing that most people aren't living with a hand thrust into the taxpayer's pocket.

SNP members of the Scottish Parliament, without opposition, have voted to pay their First Minister more than the PM of the entire UK. And out of the pockets of English taxpayers, of course.


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Crime News
Mafia MacEye writes:

What happens when TalkTalk loses thousands of sets of customer data to hackers? Not a lot, really. TalkTalk will pretend that nothing has happened for months, the staff will lie to customers about the theft and the firm will refuse to compensate swindled customers.

It's happening everywhere
In the wake of the cover-up of abuse of white girls by Asian gangs in Rotherham and Greater Manchester comes the same tale from Oxfordshire. Police and social workers there covered up exactly the same thing for 15 years from 1999 to 2014. No wonder confidence in the honesty of the police and council staff is at an all-time low.

The police have lost interest in prosecuting motorists for using a cellphone whilst driving. The government's guess is that half a million people do it every year but the prosecution rate for Greater Manchester is just 18% of what it was a year ago.

That's nice, I'll have it
Extract from a statement issued by the Durham police: "A blank-firing pistol, which replicates the sound of real gunshots but does not require a licence to own, was also recovered during a search of the property." Why? What gives the police the right to stroll off with anything they take a fancy to when trawling through someone's home? Is that even legal? Not that such considerations seem to bother Her Majesty's plods any more.

Aptly named
Is anyone surprised that the CPS decided not to prosecute a guy who was planning to let off a suicide car bomb in the Arndale Centre in Manchester? They are not called the Can't Prosecute Service for no reason. Just as well the guy has been gaoled for terrorism in New York based partly on the evidence which would have been presented against him had the CPS been arsed to prosecute the blighter.

Can't touch him!
A Birmingham councillor, who has set himself up as one of his party's champions for women, is not being prosecuted for bigamy, even though he went through a form of marriage with another woman and he neglected to divorce his wife. Why no prosecution? Because he's Labour and a Moslem.

No problem
There was a man soaked in petrol holding a lit match. A copper tasered him and he was burnt to death. But no action will be taken against the copper for reckless endangerment, of course.

A Croatian man, who accidentally shot his wife 14 times then fled here to build up a criminal record, can't be extradited on 'uman bluddy rights grounds. So that's something else to thank New Labour and the EU for.

4 judges sacked for watching porn on their work PCs at the taxpayer's expense. Is anybody in the so-called justice system doing that they're paid to do?

All clear
The bosses of the Lancashire police have completed their whitewash of their own "service". Ignoring all testimony to the contrary, they are confident that there was no cover-up of Cyril Smith's paedophile activities in the 1960s/70s.

Thieves' Charter
The nation's police chiefs have created a de facto Thieves' Charter. They have decided that thefts of articles worth less than £50 are beneath their attention and they will be added to the long list of crimes which the police now ignore.

Oppressors' Charter
Four journalists from The Sun have been cleared at the Old Bailey of trumped-up charges brought by the illiberal lefty Establishment in an attempt further to suppress free speech. Even the judge spotted that the prosecution "case" was a load of old rubbish. Maybe the cost of the trial could now be deducted from the salaries of the coppers and the Can't Prosecute Service officials, who wasted millions of pounds of taxpayers' money to follow their own political agenda.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol Vince Cable, who thinks Islamists should be encouraged to whinge about their right to commit murder and mayhem at British universities and other institutions.

Far Queue symbol The BBC, which shows EU-sponsored propaganda as programming on its minor channels.

Far Queue symbol D. Lammy, former Labour minister and current candidate for London's mayor, who thinks "the bigger the shop, the more lenient the sentence" should be the rule for thieves when they're caught.

Far Queue symbol Barclays boss A. Jenkins (£5.5 MILLION/year), who thinks scrapping "free" current accounts and closing the bank's branches would benefit the customers.

Far Queue symbol The Joseph Roundtree Charitable Trust, which gives cash to more supporters of terrorism and oppression than you can shake a stick at.

Far Queue symbol Calamity Clegg, who seems to be hoping that if he can get smoking cannabis made compulsory, enough confused dopers will vote for him to let him keep his job.

Far Queue symbol Lloyds Bank, which is still bullying staff into selling useless products to customers to meet targets for unloading such crap.

Far Queue symbol The Lincolnshire police "service", whose members, despite The Cuts, have nothing better to do with themselves than terrifying 4-year-old girls.

Far Queue symbol H. McLeish, former Scottish first minister (Labour) reckons that "Scotland has managed to avoid the kind of hate politics we see so much in England." He obviously hasn't seen any SNP propaganda.

Far Queue symbol Trevor Phillips, who presided over, and made a living out of, the creation of the multiculturalism racket, but who's trying to distance himself from the mess which he and the usual lefty luvvies created.

Far Queue symbol The Labour MP H. Goodman for being a party gobsworth.

Far Queue symbol Chi Onwurah, MP (Labour – wot else?), who thinks that the National History Museum shouldn't be allowed to sell dinosaur-themed clothing to boys because it's "gender specific" and he thinks it will put girls off studying science. [Where do they find specimens like this? Ed.]

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, March MM15.