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Please Note:
The Following presentation may contain stunts and experiments which should not be imitated – so that you never realize just how easy they are to do.


Disengage brain. Speak.
Lord Paddy Pantsdown has cracked the Middle East problem. He has performed a penetrating analysis and concluded that all the trouble there is down to the Tories being in the pockets of the rich Arabs in Saudia Arabia, etc., who are funding the Islamic Scumbags.

Variable morals
J. Corbyn claims he's against bombing terrorists in Syria because of the risk of hitting innocent civilian by-standers. Strange that this didn't concern him when he started cosying up to the IRA.

Brains softened by "The Cuts"?
It's typical of way the British police establishment works: anyone who joins the Islamic terrorists in Syria is free to come back here and not be bothered. Anyone who joins the enemies of the Islamistas is arrested if he returns home.


Include us out
The Cineworld, Odeon and Vue cinema chains have all banned a Church of England Xmas commercial on the not unreasonable rounds that if they let one weird religion in, all the others will demand a right of access. Predictably, the usual suspects are up in arms and pretending that this is the first step to the end of the world as we know it.

Would you rather not have some unexpected heat in your home as winter draws in?
If you bought a tumble dryer from Creda, Hotpoint or Indesit in the last 11 years, you might well get it. Due to poor design, they accumulate fluff in a filter next to the heater and they can go up in flames without warning. So that's 30 million potential fire-bugs in the nation's homes.


Not much sign of The Cuts in the South-West
Cornwall council spent £30,000 of taxpayers' cash on a 300 yards of bus lane on the A39 in Truro. Three weeks later, it was scrapped as a survey had found that it had tripled the average rush-hour journey time into the city. So the taxpayer will now be done for another 30 grand to get rid of it.
   K. Lavery, the chief executive of the council, had a total pay package of £245,342 last year. Sounds like money for old rope.

Fingers crossed at the time?
Chancellor Osborne talked about "mending the roof while the sun's shining". But his decision to blow a £27 BILLION windfall shows that he was lying. But then, he's a politician.


Splatteral thinking
Sometimes, it takes an original mind to come up with a solution to a knotty problem. Such as that of Labour's temporary leader J. Corbyn. He thinks that if a copper is confronted by a terrorist waving an AK-47, then the copper should give the guy a hug instead of shooting the bastard. Might even work! All we need is some volunteer crazy enough to try it.

Right man for the job
Is it surprising that J. McDonnell, the man J. Corbyn picked to be his shadow chancellor, wants to demolish MI5 and take the guns away from police anti-terrorist squads? Not really. It's just further, and unnecessary, confirmation that the Looney Left are on the side of the terrorist. Always have been, always will be.


The outs have it
The EU: better out than inDave the Leader's pathetic wish list for the EU, which triggered widespread disbelief and an "Is that it?" reaction, has had a significant effect on opinion polls. 9% more people have moved into the "Leave" camp, which now amounts to 53% of those polled. Just 22% of those asked believed that Dave will get a good deal from the EU and only around the same number felt that other EU leaders take Dave seriously.

Crime News

Who put the "con" in chief constable?

Police farces in England and Wales made £54 MILLION last year from their speed cam scam. The scam offers an alternative to paying a fine, which goes to the Treasury, and points going on a licence, which can raise the motorist's insurance premium.
   Instead, the motorist pays to attend a Mickey Mouse speed awareness course, which shoves £40/customer into the official pocket of the local chief con-merchant – who will continue to plead poverty and rail about The Cuts and tell us that he/she is going to have to remove all those invisible bobbies from beat duty to spite the government.

black square Why are there no bobbies on the beat in Scotland? Because the top coppers there are being paid over £700,000 per year.

black square The US military launched a drone strike against the notorious Kuwaiti murderer "Jihadi John" in Syria. They are 99% confident that he was "evaporated".

Cutting edge criminology
A new island prison for Indonesia's worst criminals will be guarded by tigers, crocodiles and piranhas. [Sounds like the plot of a creature feature film from the Syfy channel. Ed.] The country's anti-drugs tsar is currently shopping for the most ferocious crocodiles available because he thinks they can't be bribed. He clearly hasn't realized that chucking a couple of human guards into the moat will be an excellent way to bribe the non-human guards to look the other way whilst desperados disappear.

Mega criminals!
Regulators in the US have fined Barclays Bank £100 million for using high-powered computers to swindle customers, who tried to buy foreign currency between 2009 and 2014. This brings the total paid out by the bank for foreign exchange misconduct, including rate-rigging, to £1.6 billion.


global warming sloganNot for nothing are they called Global Warming Swindlers
They're at it again, relating atmospheric carbon dioxide levels to hypothetical temperature increases and predicting that most of the world's capitals will be flooded to first-floor level by 2100. But what's at the back of it?

  • The disastrous tipping point at a 2 deg.C temperature rise is a product of flawed computer models of Earth's climate and has no basis in reality. So the prediction of a 4 deg.C temperature rise by the end of the century is equally insubstantial.
  • Temperature figures issued by the Global Warming Swindlers are heavily "adjusted" in the favour of their bogus catastrophe, corrupted and unreliable, and have no basis in reality.
  • The whole scare has been manufactured by people with a financial interest in the Global Warming Swindle, and so nothing they say can be trusted without independent confirmation – something which Global Warming Swindlers go to great lengths to avoid. The supporters of the scam include the 3rd World (& 2nd World, if there are any) countries which hope to screw billions of pounds out of 1st World countries to combat imaginary extraordinary climate change.

Apart from the above, everything is spiffing.

global warming sloganStrictly speaking . . .
How to the GWS get away with ignoring water vapour, which is a greenhouse gas, in the atmosphere? They talk only about gases. Nitrogen in a gas. So is oxygen, so is argon. And so is carbon dioxide. But water vapour is . . . a vapour, which has entirely different properties from a true gas – see your old physics textbook or physics-online.
   So even though there is 100 times more water vapour in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide, the GWS ignore it. Why? Because politicians can do nothing about the amount of water vapour in the atmosphere because the human race doesn't put it there. But they can pretend that taxing carbon dioxide produced by the 'uman race will save the world. [But not from politicians. Ed.]

black square The DG of the National Trust is seeking to blame its failure to prevent damage to historic collections on global warming. Patriotism used to be the last refuge of the scoundrel. Now, it's the Great Global Warming Swindle.

global warming sloganSo the lights will go out. So what?
A. Rudd, posing as the energy secretary, thinks she's setting an example to the rest of the world by "de-carbonizing" Britain's electricity supply. But China and India are both planning to build lots and lots more coal-fired power stations whilst we're having ours shut down. Which means that soon, we'll be shivering in the dark whilst Ruddy is glowing with pride in an office lit with a back-up diesel generator. And all the shops and factories which don't have a similar back-up will be in darkness. But we can always take comfort from knowing that everyone who ignored Ruddy will still be okay.

black squareScotland's snow-patch cover, I. Cameron, has found 73 patches of snow left over from last winter in mountainous regions; the highest for 21 years. The norm is six to thirteen. So much for global warming.


He's at it again
1999: the FSB (Russia's KGB rebranded) bombed apartment buildings in Russian cities so that the newly elected prime minister, V. Putin, could launch an attack on Chechnya on a cloud of outrage.
2015: The Chechens are now Putin's best buddies. A Russian airliner full of holidaymakers is blown out of the sky over Sinai. Which leaves us asking what the Russian president-for-life, V. Putin, is planning to do on the back of this latest cloud of outrage?

Recycling, but not as we know it, Jim!
The city of Odessa in Ukraine has a much unloved statue of Lenin, which became even less loved after the Russians took over the eastern part of the country. But the city council has found a way to make the best of a bad job – by dressing the statue up as Darth Invader.

Lenin Invader

There are ways of making this go away
Will Russia be banned from athletics for cheating by doping its athletes as a state policy? Of course, not. Putin will rattle his sabres and complain about the rest of the world ganging up on him. Lord Coe will wring his hands. Cash will slide into pockets and evidence will melt away. And it will be business as usual.
stop pressRussia is willing to do a deal on its ban from international athletics. It will accept the ban but only if it lasts for 3 months and the ban finishes in February next year to allow Russia's druggie athletes to compete in the Olympics.

Not for nothing is he called Contrary Corbyn
He knew for a fact that capturing the Kuwaiti killer M. Emwazi, a.k.a. Jihadi John, for trial was never going to happen and that zapping him with a drone strike was always going to be the practical solution. But he still pretended that if he had been in charge, the arrest route would have happened. Does he ever listen to himself? If he does, does he realize what bollocks he's talking? [Probably not. Ed.]
stop pressOur bookmark Labour leader continues to prove that he will go to any lengths to be noticed. Please don't shoot to kill terrorists if they start killing people on British streets, he has told the police. Presumably, because he thinks some of his pals might be rubbed out.

Sometimes, life hands it to you on a plate
Labour's bookmark leader is in clover over the Islamist Scumbag situation. Being Corbyn, the friend of every tinpot terrorist gang willing to shake his hand, he's a natural friend of IS. Being the leader, pro tem, of Her Majesty's (not so Loyal) Opposition, he feels it's his job to be against everything the government wants to do. And suddenly, his luck's in.
   Our prime minister and his immediate circle are busting a collective gut to get us into a war in Syria. But the experience of Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya shows that our politicians and our military are incompetent to wage war. Period. And when Corbyn points this out, he's opposing the government and protecting a gang of terrorists. Wooo! Talk about sugar-coated with a cherry on top!

Home News
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Do you believe this?
A survey would have us believe that most schoolchildren believe that Winston Churchill was the boss of the insurance company, which has a toy dog as its TV figurehead.

black square When MPs promise to give away their 10% pay rise, what happens? Two-thirds of the promisers don't.

black square The BMA and the strike-happy rail unions: spot the difference.

The Labour party seems to be embracing still the Gordon Broon notion that everyone should give everything to the state and be pathetically grateful for whatever the Chancellor of the day doles back to them.
   Thus when sports minister T. Crouch suggested that people should give up pay TV to make ends meet, the loonies went into an uproar. Missing the point completely, of course. People do have a 'uman right to live within their means They do not, however, have a 'uman right to pay TV, portable phones, broadband internet access, cars, foreign holidays and other luxuries paid for by everyone else.

Just how much do Norfolk firemen have to do?
The fire station serving Gorleston sent out 5 firemen after residents claimed that a squirrel had been stuck on a telegraph pole for over a day. But when the fire engine rolled up, the squirrel jumped off the pole and legged it.
   When the Taxpayers' Alliance took this case as an example of the abundant slack left in the public sector despite the so-called The Cuts, the general sec. of the local branch of the FB union disagreed.
   He claimed that the call-out would have cost no more than 2 quid. Really? The 5 firemen and a fire engine were on duty anyway but what about the cost of the jaunt itself plus all the time wasted on form-filling afterwards?

Bribery and corruption
According to the Scottish Office minister, A. Dunlop, both the Scottish and UK governments want to retain the Barnett Formula, which gives Scotland an oversized block grant funded by English taxpayers. The reason why the Scottish government wants to keep the BF is obvious. But why does Dave the Leader think that English taxpayers should carry on paying an unfair subsidy to the Scots?


Help! I'm being got at!
If just looking at a piece of steak causes cancer, and the same applies to bacon, sausages and all processed meats, how much passive smoking danger are we in from someone nearby eating smoked salmon, bacon, cheese or haddock? And if the law now claims that a racial hate crime has occurred if someone thinks one might possibly, maybe has happened, are we allowed to scream blue murder and claim pollution if we think that we might possibly, maybe, have been exposed to smoked food?

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

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Move along there
Back in 2001, Shaker Aamer decamped with his family to the Taliban paradise in Afghanistan. He has spent much of the intervening time in preventive detention @ Guantanamo Bay. But he has now been allowed back into Britain. What were the first things on his agenda? 1. Taking advantage of the NHS, despite having failed to contribute to it, and, presumably, he has no intention of paying anything for the privilege. 2. He also wants to sue the British government for taxpayers' cash for compensation. For what? He chose to leave the country and what happened after that is nothing to do with the British taxpayer. Maybe they should just have told the ungrateful sod to keep on travelling back to Saudia, where he came from, when his flight reached British air-space.

black square An American forensic psychologist has decided that cats would kill and eat their hosts, given half a chance. It's only their small size relative to the prey animal which keeps them in check.

Inevitable consequence
If you embrace diversity and multiculturalism, then you must also accept that some people will take this as an endorsement of their view that they have a divine right to kill people who don't share their culture. Hence what happened in Paris on Friday the Thirteenth.

It's good to know there are nutters everywhere
The students' union at Ottawa U. has banned yoga classes because yoga originated in India, which was a victim of British Imperialism [but got railways and a civil service and ready access to the West – Ed.], and practising yoga in Canada could upset any Indians there because it could be perceived as trivializing their culture. Barrel-scraping or what by the offence-seekers!


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Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol Angular Merkel, who wished 750 migrants on Sumte, a village of 102 residents in Niedersachsen, with no thought for where the migrants would be housed. Or educated. Or anything else.

Far Queue symbol Airport workers in New Zealand doing a haka dance in hi-viz jackets. That's intimidating. Not.

Far Queue symbol Oily Martins, the BLT Labour Police and Crime Commish for Bedfordshire, who threatened to ramp up the police speeding scam to the max to get himself noticed.

Far Queue symbolThat ineffective producer who was thumped by J. Clarkson for falling down on the job. The guy now has his hand out for 100 grand compo for a cut lip. And a good bung for his brief, too.

Far Queue symbol Prince Charles, who thinks the civil war in Syria is nothing to do with the incompetent dictator-for-life Assad and all to do with man-made global warming. This view is shared by President O'Bummer, who also belongs here.

Far Queue symbol Red Ken Livingstone, another Labour friend of terrorists.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".


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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, November MM15.