BlackFlag News
 
 2018/December 
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A recycled Merry Xmas & a Guid New Year
to all our readers and two fingers to miserable multiculturalists, dastardly diversifiers and all other Xmas denyers. BFN would like to thank all who contributed to the 2018 issues - and we hope to hear from you again, and your friends, in 2019!

 WEEK 3 

 
Nose-hacking job?
bullet Six-month delays at Dover port, which handles just 6% of our total port activity, could happen after Brexit, we are told by the Project Hysteria merchants. The EU has a huge trade deficit with us, however, which means that their stuff will be parked and they won't be able to get cash for the goods they would sell us in normal times.
    Is that going to be allowed to happen? Really?

Do we have confidence in TheRazor May?
bullet Votes to ditch her = 117, Don't fancy any of the others = 200
How long does it take to count up to 317? An hour! There must have been a really good tea break in there somewhere.

TheRazor slashes on . . .
reader comment“Our PM now has 12 months of grace — free of leadership challenges — to sabotage Brexit, then it will be off to the House of Frauds to become . . . Baroness Bremoan? Baroness Hintercouchcroucher? Or just plain Baroness Leggit of Bruxeles?” R.M.

Italy still being done down by the EU
bullet One size fits all if the one is Germany. Italy, however is struggling with a monster budget deficit after being allowed to lie about its economic prospects to join the euro. If there were a planetary police force, the EU would be behind bars for Mafia tactics learnt from . . . the Italians.

bullet Brass monkeys are advised to steer well clear of Switzerland, where night-time temperatures in the central parts of the country are falling to minus 36 degrees Centigrade. The chill is pay-back for Switzerland having just enjoyed its third-warmest summer and autumn on record.

No harm, no law-breaking, no foul
bullet H. Blumenthal has made a name for himself as a chef who created bizarre recipes from combinations of unlikely ingredients.
    He no longer owns the chain of restaurants which he founded, but some nosy buggers are taking a pop at him because they have run into the brick wall of a tax haven when trying to pry into its earnings and who owns the chain.
    Good! May their frustration give them ulcers.

Crocodile tears with an agenda
reader comment “The blessed Rees-Mogg, MP, is receiving some stick from those who have a political agenda which doesn't align with his. The latest quibble seems to be that Moggy is something less than 100% saintly.
    “But if he is just following the custom and practice at his place of work, that needs to be taken into consideration. Refusing to do so says much more about custom and practice among the harpies that it does about Mr. Mogg.” D.S.

Nearly somewhere worth going
bullet The Virgin Galactic tourist trap has managed to reach a height of 50 miles on a test flight, allowing those aboard to claim they almost, nearly, pretty well about reached the edge of space. An earlier version of the air-launched space-skimmer disintegrated on a test flight and there has been a 4-year rebuilding period since then.
    The rocket was crewed by a pilot, a NASA astronaut and a womannequin called Annie instead of a fare-paying passenger. Human versions of Annie will have to cough up a quarter of a million bucks for their 90-minute rollercoaster ride.

Yes, we believe you, mate!
reader comment “The Chancellor sez he's committed to delivering Brexit. Unfortunately, the delivery destination he has in mind is his local council tip.” D.R.

bulletAnother Tory party conspiracy theory – Dave the ex-Leader Cameron bribed the tellers to make sure that TheRazor May won her confidence vote to make sure that she stays on as PM for another year or so. Why? So that the retirement memoirs, which she was sure to be paid a bomb to dash off, wouldn't trump his own as yet uncompleted ramblings.

The plot sickens
bullet The conspiracy theory also includes a profit strain. TheRazor is making the intransigence of the EU look like the cause of the breakdown of Brexit. Which allows her to write a shock-horror volume of memoirs with the title: How I Busted Brexit – and got away with it!
    That would knock anything Dave the ex-Leader is working on into a thimble rather than the proverbial cocked hat, and gives him a big incentive to retire to his garden shed on wheels and get scribbling.

bullet Where are the police precept rises in next year's swollen Council Tax bills going? Well, there are chief constables being paid (as opposed to earning) £50K-100K more than the prime minister, and that's not including the extra going into their pension pots and all the other extras and perks they claim.

Dear and deadly
bullet The experts have struck again! Not only are organic farming products; meat as well as vegetables and dairy; overpriced compared to inorganic products and much the same nutritionwise, they are also wrecking the Earth's climate by having a vastly BIGGER carbon footprint; 50%-70% bigger in some cases.
    They also require a greater area of land to produce a crop of a given size, which means more deforestation, and more apoplexy for the environmentalists.

Faint-hearted revisionism
reader comment“The Beeb is doing a Hercule Poirot pastiche with the central character reinvented. His definitive moustache has been replaced by a goaty beard and he won't have that Belgian accent, of course.
    “The wonder is, they didn't go the whole hog and make Poirot a woman. And that name. So foreign. Why not something more English for someone who has been living here for 20 years, like . . . Romiley? Mellor? Marple, even? And an anglicized spinster called Hercules? Something traditionally English would be much better, like Jane, for instance.” D.X.S.

bullet + + + Large fire at new habitat dome at Chester Zoo + + + No animals injured + + +

bullet + + + 666,000 diabolical hi-viz protesters out on the streets all over France on 3rd Saturday of Month + + + Official estimates somewhat less + + +

There's no pleasing some people
bullet Lots of members of Scotland's rural population, particularly in the Highlands and Islands, agitated for broadband connections as a 'uman bluddy right. But now that they have them, they're beefing about the 800% rise in online crime as a result of the internet access which they demanded.

reader comment“How do you know you're hearing from a clueless loser? When the people making money out of anti-racialism in sport campaigns blame it on Brexit.” D.T.W.

bulletThought For The Week : There is no bile like that frothing from a bitter Bremoaner!

bullet The Germans are going to crack down on share purchases and acquisitions of strategic companies by firms operating in countries outside the EU. Something aimed at us post-Brexit? Nope, they're worried about a (hostile) Chinese takeover of vital infrastructure.

bullet Marchers were out on the streets of Italy as well as France. But in this case, they were illegal immigrants and their friends protesting against a new law which makes it easier to expel unwanted new arrivals.

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BlackFlag News

 WEEK 1 

 
Natural selection in action
bullet People who fall for the fashion of buying scorched-crust bread from supermarkets which don't just chuck it away are doomed. Burnt-black crusts are full of acrylamide, which will make over-indulgers die of cancer.

bullet Britain's universities are making A-Level examinations irrelevant. Now that there is no cap on the number of students that they can recruit, anyone who can raise the tuition fees is allowed to join.

He might well hide his shame
bullet Gordon F. Broon notoriously signed the Lisbon Treaty with the EU in secret like a thief in the night when he was PM. M. Carne, the ejected boss of Notwork Rail (£820K plus perks) got his CBE reward for failure during a similar meeja blackout.
Far Queue symbol Lest we forget, Notwork Rail's punctuality is at a 15-year low and it now faces fines from the regulator for failing to deliver a decent standard of service and being sued by train operators for failing to let them do business.

bullet The NHS is doing its bit to ensure that there is the traditional annual winter crisis this year by leaving 102,000 posts unfilled.

Far Queue symbol President Vlad the Awful has opened a new tank park at Russia's border with Ukraine. His mouthpiece told BFN: "We have so many tanks nowadays that finding enough other people's lawns to park them on is real nightmare."

Futile gesture
bullet Her customers are asking why Mrs. May is trying to sell her oily Brexit deal to world leaders at the G20 summit in Argentina. None of them has a vote on it as none of them is a British MP.

bullet French Pres. Manny MacRon is reported to have become speechless with rage on hearing that French vessels will not be allowed to enter British waters, especially not to fish, after Brexit. The silence was described as 'a blessed relief'.

Far Queue symbol Tory MP J. Greening reckons that a second referendum on the UK's membership of the EU could be held at the end of May 2019 if everyone starts organizing right now. One would expect that a sometime Education Sec. to know that we will have been out of the EU for two months by then and the vote will be irrelevant. But maybe she's trying to take over from Private Pike as the nation's stupid person.

bullet Someone has managed to goose Oily Robbins, the PM's puppet-master, into drawing up a plan for Britain to ditch the Irish border backstop unilaterally if the EU drags its feet on the issue, as it will inevitably do.

Don't Panic!
bullet Britain's alleged business leaders are timid, risk-averse and desperate for certainty these days – and the PM is going to give it to them. If her MPs choose not to back her oily Brexit deal, she will 'pull the trigger' on no-deal.
    If she does keep that promise, it offers enough certainty for anyone to build upon, no matter how chicken-livered, and that certainty will be delivered on or after December 11th.

bullet The BBC's bosses are denying that they paid a small-town vicar, who also works as a film extra, to pretend to be a member of the public who supports the PM's Brexit deal. But they would, wouldn't they?

Far Queue symbol Trade unions, which will be responsible for a big chunk of it, are weeping crocodile tears over the coming 3.1% rise in rail fares. And they have no plans to stop their petty strikes.

Shock, Horror! Harvey WeenSteen is Innocent!!
bullet His lawyers are claiming that they have proof that he was stitched up by corrupt police officers and lying accusers. They are demanding that the law suit against him be tossed out of court forthwith. If not, they add, every scrap of police corruption will be exposed to the public gaze to make a cover-up operation hugely difficult.

bugThis isn't an "or else" (except that it is)
bullet The administration at Downing Street has issued a warning of the threat from the Brexit Bug. All computers will stop working and burst into flames on March 29th 2019 if we fail to endorse TheRazor May's oily Brexit deal.

Copycat Frogs
bullet The French fuel protesters are turning their weekend outings to Paris into an endless succession of Bonfire Nights. The wonder is that if Manny MacRon's government is setting the price of petrol so high that it's unaffordable, how do they manage to buy enough to make their petrol bombs?

bullet The Prime Monster is going to trade party propaganda with O. Jezzer Corbynski (under the pretence of holding a debate) on an NFL Sunday? We can't see them getting much of a TV audience with the heroes of the gridiron on another side.

Stitch in the direction of up
bullet All this agitation for a second referendum on the UK's EU membership has been revealed as a plot financed by the people who make money out of them; including the was-beens who expect to be paid to spout rubbish on TV.
    If the result of OutRef2 is Bremoan, the Brexit lobby will shout: "One-all, we demand Best of Three!" Kerching!
    If the result endorses Brexit, the Bremoaners will start yelling: "Best of Five!" Kerching! Kerching! Kerching!
    The bad news for the Russians is that trying to fix all these referendums is going to cost the Putinocracy an absolute bomb!

Far Queue symbol Germany's AfD party is looking at a bleak future. With the imminent departure or Mhs. Mherkle, who looked like being Chancellor for Life at one stage, they are in deadly danger of losing the woman they love to hate to love to hate and their raison d'être.

Stitch in the direction of sideways
bullet The crafty Norwegians are planning to use dead fish to power their ships in order to pretend that they are reducing pollution and global warming. Waste from the fishing industry will be mixed with other organic waste and turned into biogas.
    Biogas contains mainly methane, as does the natural gas obtained from fossil fuel deposits, but as it is not a fossil fuel, politicians and other global warming fraudsters can pretend that biogas is somehow green and doesn't produce carbon dioxide when burnt, like natural gas.

Deathmongers
bullet Cold weather contributed to 50,000 excess deaths in the winter of 2017/18, according to the Office for National Statistics. And yet the global warming fraudsters are currently junket in Poland and trying to make the climate colder. Have they no shame and/or pity? Obviously not.
bullet Age UK blamed high energy prices for contributing to the excess deaths. Which is great news for E.on customers in Romiley, who are facing a 27% rise in their energy bill for 2019.

Political smog
bullet The Labour front-bencher, who gave her drug-dealer son a job @ the Commons, has returned to the back benches under a cloud. Her leader, O.J. Corbynski, waved her off with the message that she had brought a new dimension to her job. Interpret that how you will!
update The Squeaker's office has endorsed a decision to let the drug dealer keep his Commons pass. Clearly, Berko thinks having a drug dealer swanning around the Palace of Westmonster doesn't lower the tone of the place – a view which has some merit, given the dodginess of some of the inmates, especially on the Opposition benches.
reader comment“Labour doesn't have a monopoly on dodginess. There are some pretty foul Tories around.” A.C.
[Comparing the proportion of Labour politicians who are dodgy with the proportion of Tories, or any other party, Labour wins the Dodgy Cup every time. Ed.]
update The drug dealer's grandma has been added to the House of Frauds courtesy of O.J. Corbynski.

Flogging a dead vegan
bullet An animal rights mob, PEople for the Stupid Treatment of English Rhetoric, is busy rewriting traditional English phrases and sayings to convert everything to do with animals into expressions involving plants.
    They claim they are protecting the delicate sensibilities of animal lovers. What the animal rights looneys don't seem to realize is that they are running the risk of being duffed up by offended horticulturalists.
   There's more than one way to snub a PESTER.
    Oh, no! Don't say they're claiming to be a religion!
update It is rumoured that the members of PESTER are secretly working to frustrate the GW fraudsters. Why? Because they believe the story that gorbal warming will wipe out all animal life on the planet and leave plants in charge.

bullet TheRazor May must not bully or bribe opponents to get her Brexit sell-out through the House of Common Criminals, the SNP has declared. Bullying and Bribery are SNP turf and no one else should go there, is the implication.

Not so much a snigger as a hearty laugh
bullet We mustn't gloat about the rioters setting fire to Paris every weekend? Like that's going to happen! (or not happen) We hate the French as much as they hate us. Have done for centuries.
bullet There is some consolation for TheRazor May – at least her popularity level in Britain is a bit higher than Manny McRon's in France.

"We're all doomed!" yell the catastrophists
bullet The world is in danger of being fried by all the hot air being emitted by the GWF lobby in Poland. They claim that our planet is 'fragile' but the Earth has been a lot hotter, and a hell of a lot colder, than it is today and yet it is still there.
    And every time a species goes extinct, like most of the dinosaur species, that creates a niche for a new species to populate.

bullet A vegan is trying to get the courts to declare his life choice a religion as part of a scheme to get compensation from an employer who sacked him for misconduct unrelated to his veganism.

The Nation offers to our enemies, a salute from Baroness Trumpington,
the former Jean Barker née Campbell-Harris (1922-2018)

The Baroness Trumpington 50 pound note

Far Queue symbol The latest from the UN's global warming festival somewhere in Poland is that global warming is going to wipe out our civilization and wipe out most of the life on the planet.
    Yeah, right.

Irresistible Force 1, Immovable Object nil
Far Queue symbol President McRon vowed that he would not be budged by the arsonist fuel rioters in France. But like all his predecessors in the job, he has budged and given in and postponed the planned increases.
update Instead of imposing some other global warming tax, Old MacRon now plans to cut public expenditure. He could well find himself having a busy time of that as the protesters have announced that, in the light of their current success, they will be back with more demands.

That explains a lot
bullet The Archbish of York reckons that a second referendum on EU membership could lead to riots in the streets, arson about and looting. So that's why the country's enemies in the Labour party, the SNP, etc. are so keen on one. They see it as a way of delivering a bonus to their natural supporters.

bullet Plenty of mists at the start of the first Tuesday of the month but not much sign of mellow fruitfulness. What's happened to all this global warming?

Is this just a racket?
bullet It costs the same three quid per month to save an elephant as a creature a small fraction of an elephant's size? One does get the feeling that the charities are taking the Mickey and just in it for an extractable three quid.

bullet The Gov. of the Bonk of England is threatening to raise food prices by 10% in the event of a no-deal, WTO Brexit. His predecessor has accused him of deploying flimsy and arbitrary assumptions.

If they're so smart, why don't they just let the meters sort out this tangle?
bullet The government has ordered the power companies to offer (not install) every household and small business the chance to have a smart meter by 2020.
    Which means that if the customer says, "No thanks", that's the job done. And any further attempts to inflict a smart mester on the customer constitute harassment. Which should be punishable by a fine of £100 per episode of harassment.
    What could be plainer or easier?
    [A naive view which ignores the inherent stupidity of the people who carry out the government's instructions. Ed.]

Pestering the PESTERs
reader comment“Here's one for them — "It's a wild gooseberry chase" to describe something lacking in intensity and duration, given that gooseberrys don't run at any great speed.” E.L.

They're all at it
bullet A spying operation has revealed the vast extent of FakeBuk's vast spying operation on its customers. The data collected is sold to FB's advertisers even though the company knows this is something the customers don't want to happen and it's probably actually illegal.
    Hotel chains, supermarkets, BT, PayPal, Gooble and more or less every company with an online or telephone market presence does the same, figuring they are much too big and powerful to be challenged and they are sure to get away with it.

A remarkable likeness
Corbyn & Clinton A remarkable number of punters were struck by the likeness between the picture of ex-president Bill Clinton taken at the funeral of ex-president George H.W. Bush and our own miserable git Jezzer Corbynski. If he has a shave and keeps his gob just as miserable, there's a post-Parliament career ready and waiting for Jezzer – doing Slick Willy impressions on the cabaret circuit.

 WEEK 2 

 
The sky fell in
bullet  A Kingdom Un-Tied 
 The Ultimate Act of Treachery 
 Like some Cheese with that Whine? 
 Narcissistic Commons Sell Out UK 

[Just practising a few headlines for when the House of Common Criminals reneges on its pledge to honor the Brexit referendum vote to Leave the E bloody U. Ed.]

 Sieg and Ye shall Heil 
[I'm still looking for a context for that one. Ed.]

Not wanted on voyage
bullet The BBC decided not to put a big Brown Hole in its schedule with a TV argy-bargy between TheRazor May and O.J. Corbinski. ITV has also decided not to damage its Sunday schedule. Maybe the Shopping Channel will bite the bullet if offered a big enuf bribe?

It were me! No, it were me!
bullet The Russians and the Chinese are locked in an arse-kicking contest for the bragging rights to crashing the O2 mobile phone network's Swedish-built equipment. The Chinese are ahead on credibility as Russia is notorious for having extremely inferior technology.

The latest from Project Hysteria
bullet The government will have to ration medicines without consulting either patients or GPs in the event of a no-deal Brexit. And if anyone dies, the underlying hysteria message runs, that will just be too bloody bad and serves them right for not voting Bremain in the first place.

Project Hysteria failure
bullet A Bremoaner report from the goverment claims that Britain will have to find room for 'tens of thousands' of British ex-pats in the event of a no-deal Brexit. The impact of this message is somewhat blunted by the fact that millions of Europeons will be heading the other way, leaving plenty of room for a few thousand British reformed emigrés.

Getting turkeys to vote for Xmas?
bullet It worked for Tony B. Liar and now O.J. Corbynski is on his knees begging the rich for donations to Labour party funds. Either he assumes that they are too thick to realize that once he and his commie chums get in to office, they plan to tax the bollocks off all rich bastards, or his PR person has been scoffing a lot of hippie crack.

International 'Eat Two Cakes Day' becomes so much more of a challenge as December rolls on and the 9" round tin comes back into fashion . . .

December International 'Eat Two Cakes Day' celebration

Xperts lacking Xpertise or Not Trifficly scientific
bullet You have to be able to climb 4 flights of stairs quickly or you're doomed to an early death, the experts reckon.
    No danger of letting the customers know how many steps add up to a flight, though. Or a definition of 'quickly', which makes the whole exercise just so much hot air. Also, no mention of how you're supposed to get on if you don't have 4 flights of stairs to climb in your home.

Talking about hot air . . .
bullet The GW mob has been peering into the crystal ball again and come up with a good one – there was an event labelled The Great Dying 252 million years ago, when massive volcanic eruptions in Siberia blew all sorts of crap into the atmosphere and wiped out 96% of life in the seas and 70% of life on land.
    The not-so-great global warming fraudsters now reckon there is a not-so-great dying event on the way and it will wipe out 48% of life in the seas and 35% of life on land by 2300.
reader comment“It's amazing how much hysteria you can generate when you avoid comparing like with like and concentrate only on greenhouse gases and ignore the absolutely huge amounts of crap spewed out by those mega-volcanoes.” W.U.

A Bigger and Brighter Future
bullet The Rt. Hon Orrie Fiss, the minister for holes, has emerged from prolonged talks with the EU's Hole Harmonization Commission to announce that, post-Brexit, we shall no longer be restricted to EU standard hole sizes. We shall be able to create the somewhat larger holes favoured by the rest of the world.

bullet A former head of GCHQ, the nation's official electronic spying operation, is advocating new laws to bring the likes of FakeBuk and Gooble under control. Their current activities in search of a sleazy buck are an affront to democracy and if they won't clean up their acts, they need to be booted into line.

bullet O2 thinks it should pay its customers 87p for the loss of a whole day's use of their phones. The demands of the customers start at £10 and go up according to how much trade they lost. Kerrrunch!
bullet Apparently, no one noticed that a usage certificate on some essential software was about to expire. When it did, computer said NO!! big time. Bloody human beings, eh!

“We honour them by remembering the names of the dead”
— unless you’re the Police Federation, of course

bullet The trade union for the police in England and Wales has gone back on a promise to help to fund a memorial for police officers who died on duty.
    Which suggests that the Fed thinks only of live members, who can pay subs to add to the £60-70 million stashed in reserve funds, and dead former members are just an embarrassment.

bullet President Trump has appointed an air-head TV current affairs programme co-host as his ambassodor to the United Nations Organization. Which demonstrates how low his opinion of this bunch of hot-air merchants really is!

Not exactly the world's best excuse!
bullet Northern Rail is claiming that its service is rubbish because 10% of its fleet of trains has been damaged by leaves on the line. Leaves with bombs and machine guns and a bad attitude, were they?

Bad news for O.J. Corbynski
bullet If he's relying on a yoof vote to get the Tories out of power and himself and his gang into Downing Street to tax everyone (except his mates) until the pips squeak, he'd better guess again. The Millennial Snoflakes don't want to pay more taxes for Corbynski to waste on the old and the sick and his trade union buddies.

Definitely true to type
reader comment“Surprise! The yellow-jacket riots in France have proved that Manny MacRon is just another cheese-eating surrender monkey. When someone stands up to him, the president can't hoist up a white rag fast enough.” D.C.
bullet Copycats in Belgium and Holland are donning hi-viz vests and taking to the streets to protest about whatever it that has upset them. The Belgians want rid of their prime minister. No one is quite sure what the Dutch are after, however.

bullet The campaign to legalize cannabis run by the Liberal party and some top coppers has succeeded in putting the number of drivers arrested for motoring whilst drugged up at a record level.

Mini Maths Lesson
bulletQ: What is Super Bowl LIII in numbers?
bulletA: L is the 12th letter of the alphabet, which makes L111 equal to 15.
bulletA: L is the 12th letter of the alphabet and I is the 9th letter, which makes LIII equal to 39.

bulletQ: The NFL reckons that the next Super Bowl is No. 53. How should this be described in letters?
bulletA: XXE or TTJC. Or even ZZA.

You don't always get what you want
reader comment“The main thing which is making the Tories nervous about holding a leadership election is the prospect of what happened to Labour also happening to them – namely, that the Jeremy Corbyn joke candidate ends up winning a run-off.” D.M.

A brilliant European 'Get Out of That!'
bullet A German was arrested in Austria after using a change machine at a bank to turn a huge number of damaged euro coins into banknotes. He had bought the coins in China, where they had been extracted from cars and washing machines sent there to be scrapped. These coins are resold in bulk in China at a fraction of their face value.
    The enterprising German was acquitted of fraud when he came up for trial and the appeal court in Innsbruck has confirmed this decision following an objection from the prosecutor.
    The counsel for the accused explained that his client had used a machine which is designed specifically to determine whether a coin is legal tender or not. Which means that if it gave him notes for the coins which he fed into it, there could be no question of fraud

Phone the Guinness Book of Records
bullet It's amazing how fast a court system can operate when its income is at stake. Instead of sitting on it for a couple of years of free lunches, the Europeon Court of Justice has decided in record time that we can cancel our Article 50 departure from the EU at a moment's notice without bothering to consult the rest of the member countries.

bullet Bad news for everyone who thinks doing lots of crosswords and sodokus will prevent them from going doolally. You will still go dotty when you get old, is the latest word from the experts.

New for Xmas
bullet The plot of the BBC's Xmas Miss Marple story has been leaked. The apparently harmless Miss M. learns that a rival is planning to expose her secret identity in a way which causes her maximum embarrassment.
    It will be revealed that 'she' is, in fact, a Belgian illegal immigrant, who fled his native country when the Germans invaded and found that he could use his theatrical experiences to create a lucrative career as a private detective in the guise of an elderly British spinster.
    Naturally, the detective known as Miss Marple refuses to go quietly, which means a lot of trouble on the way for a deserving rival.

Hyperbole will get you nowhere
reader comment“The EU's rebuff to Mrs. May's attempts to get more concessions; namely, legally binding ones; on her Brexit deal is a 'hammer blow'? Not when no one expected that bunch of bad-faith merchants to offer a life raft to the crew of a sinking ship, even it is in their best interests to do so. They're still stuck in 'Gott straf England' mode.
”p.s. A vote postponed is only a vote postponed with nothing better on offer.” D.V.

Frozen-faced Snoflakes
bullet "Safe place" policies are turning students into humourless gits [correction: even more humourless gits. Ed.] Professional comedians are no longer taking jobs at their events, even ones without a fee at charity dos, because they are being confronted with a long list of 'isms' which cannot be the subject of jokes.
    "If students are not exposed to the challenges of humour," our resident psychology expert reckons, "then they will become increasingly narrow-minded and even less able to handle the rigours of a cruel world."

Today's conspiracy theory
bullet The confidence vote on Mrs. May's leadership is being organized by Bremoaners, who expect her to win and become safe from another challenge for 12 months, by which time she will have sabotaged Brexit thoroughly.

bullet The PM's attempts to sweeten her Brexit deal by chatting up EU leaders have been described as 'polishing a dead parrot' by one of our Europeon neighbours.

Maybe it was aliens . . .
bullet Hotpoint, the manufacturer of the fridge-freezer blamed for burning down Grenfell Tower in London, has come up with an alternative explanation. The American owner of the company would like us to think it is possible that someone threw a cigarette end into a 4th floor kitchen window and it started the blaze, not shoddy wiring in the fridge-freezer.

bullet France's hi-viz rioters have won tax concessions adding up to €13 BILLION from Pres. MacRon, who is prepared to spend as much of other people's money as necessary to keep his job.


Below the line mission statement: We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition. Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, December MM18.