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today's efforts

frankenfoodBe Advised The myth that celery contains fewer calories than the body uses in consuming & digesting it is just that—a myth. Calorie-counting as a way of dieting is another myth as the calorie numbers on packets & labels do not reflect what goes on inside a 'uman bean.
reader comment“The trouble with trying to eat 10-a-day and 40 different plants per week is the assumption that you want to spend vast amounts of time chomping your way through way more food than you'd normally scoff.” Abel Psalmins

bulletToday's Question:
Who set fire to Burntisland in the Kingdom of Fife?

Edmonton Antlers helmetSNF 1—The Ants in Calgary
The home team punted and obligingly committed end zone DPI. The Ants charged from the 1 for a TD but couldn't manage +2. 6-0. Lots of work for the punters into Q2. The Stamps managed a FG. A TD for Arceneaux, 13-6. A quick one back for the Stamps, 13-10 at half time.
   In Q3, the Ants were sacked out of FG range, boot for a rouge, 14-10. After an exchange of FGs, the wheels came off. The Stamps went ahead with a TD and kicked a FG 7 minutes into Q4 for 17-23. Two more FGs from the Ants vs a charge for a TD by the Stamps, 23-30 final.

reader comment“Has anyone mentioned to the ArchyBish of Cantab that if migrants end up in Rwanda, it's because Ghod is okay with it? 'Coz if She wasn't, it wouldn't happen.” Sam Brendas-Grunt

reader comment“Dr. N. Watts of NHS England (degree in medicine, wants to abolish GP contacts with customers) clearly wasn't paying attention when they explained how vital it is for physicians to do no harm.” Rhett Rograde

Sleepy JoemarkerCought it up and look cheerful
Creaky Joe is demanding zillions of dollars for a vaccine for the next pandemic, which will arrive sometime in the next 25 years, i.e. long after he's history.
   But there are several small to major problems, including he doesn't know what this next plague will be and when it will be and how severe it will be.
   But he still wants the money for his Project Fear.

bulletQ: Did Sirdreary ever have a grip on the Labour party to lose to the gang of his MPs who have been bought by the unions and have to stand on picket lines looking cheerful?
bulletA: That's just fake news, having a grip. He never had one on the Corbynsteiners.

Knee of GraceThe legal trade, currently demanding a pay rise of 25%, is Xpected to go into deep mourning over loss of income when the Justice Sec. bins corrupt new labour's 'uman bluddy rights fiasco and substitutes a Bill of Real Rights, which will make Parliament, not judges, the arbiter of what is and what isn't the law.
reader comment“This is giving us a Bill of Rights a mere 15 years after Dave the Leader promised one in 2007— when he wasn't PM. Strange nothing happened when he was.” Neat Beverage

CFL logoLater, up the road in Vancouver, BC
The Lions zoomed to the red zone, TD for Burnham. Zoom by the Argos, stopped at the 1. Zoom again by the Lions, using a challenge, FG, 0-10. The Argos also won a challenge in Q2, on to a FG. Another TD for the Lions put them 3-17 ahead. They blew a challenge, lots of punting, then a long FG put the Lions 3-20 up at half time.
   Fumbles, punting, sacks in Q3. BC kicked a FG and scored a TD after 14 minutes for 3-30. A BC TD in Q4 made it 3-37. 3rd & goal @ the TA 1 inside the last 3 minutes. Charge! 3-44. That was enuff.

cross symbol Apparently, the bloke who ran the miners' union onto the scrapheap, A. Scaregill, 84, was on a picket line this week. But no one recognized him at the time and we cannot, therefore, report where he was doing his posturing.
Far Queue symbolThis man of the people & revolution inciter has somehow found a way to acquire a £2 MILLION apartment in London. One rule for the union bosses . . .

markerHM The Queen was not allowed to have a walking stick during an encounter with the ArchyBish of Cantab in case she embarrassed herself by chastising the old hypocrite.

    WEEK 4    Putin the ‘pest’ into Peston

bullet BP petrol in Romiley is a mere 191.9p/litre and diesel is 197.9p/litre.

Z markerRed Menace Rail Strike Day 1
Where's the Labour party? On the picket lines, bought & paid for by the unions, ‘coz that's the sort of gitz they are.
   Where's Sird Reary? In hiding ‘coz that's the sort of git he is.
reader comment“The fewest trains for a generation, said the news person. Is climate change to blame, as it is for everything else?” Bash Talverise

bulletDisaster for the economy, say Doombuggers.

Far Queue symbol Teachers, the NHS, the legal trade & postmen are all going to throw one or more wobblies @ the nation with summer strikes. Wunderbar.
reader comment“The taxpayer should go on strike and plead poverty when they turn up with their hands out, demanding more.” Offa Cough

marker Apple could end up on the wrong end of a $900 million class action brought on behalf of 25 million UK customers who had their phones messed about to conceal inadequate battery life.

Z marker Putinstan has been accused of turning kidnapped Ukrainian children into orphans by murdering the parents so that the kids can be offered for adoption.

reader comment“Is the Advertising Standards bunch on its summer holiday? Must be if it does nothing about the fraudulent TV ads about ‘clean' energy which has no impact on the world's climate because we don't control it.” Ellie Mentary

The UK might be ready for cleaner energy—a doubtful proposition that Shell would have us accept—but it will still get the fall-out from all the dirty energy generated abroad. You know, in the countries which, unlike ours, make a difference to the atmosphere.

baseball hat Whatever happened to presidential dignity? Pictures of Creaky Joe, 79, dressed up in biker clothes and falling off his bike have done him no favours at all.

Should the UK government have to pay compenbluddysation to Scottish miners who were arrested & sacked during the violent strikes of the 1980s? No bloody way. They tried to hold the rest of us to ransom. We owe them nothing.

bulletQ: What do you call a TV 'series' that's only 2 shows long?
bulletA: Something that's taking the mickey.

President Trump's take on the January 6th Capitol Caper is that what's on offer as ‘evidence' to the investigating committee has no more accuracy than the NeatFlix ‘historicals' about the Britisch Royal Family.
   This has been achieved via selective editing & rescripting to increase the shock-horror value and the usual deals & chicanery.

Is it a gaffe when a Tory hopeful for a seat vacated by an MP who was convicted of sex offences points out that one rotten apple's actions are nothing to do with those of others in the same trade?
   Of course, not.
   Is it a gaff to point out that people still trust GPs despite the multi-murderous reign of Harold Shipman, GP?
   Only to a journo trying to confect outrage.

No one was fooled by the RMT attempt to blame its strike today on the Transport Sec. "Just a pathetic & desperate attempt to pass the buck for their intransigence & lack of contact with reality" is the General Judgement.

marker Well, there's Prince Chuck on a freebie to Rwanda. Despite claiming it's appalling. Spit the bones out of that.

bulletQ: The population of Greater Manchester is almost the same as that of Wales but GM doesn't have a parliament that can set local taxes. Is that fair?
bulletA: As both are controlled by the looney left, no one in GM will end up any better off if the region does get tax-setting powers.

markerThis Week's Question:
How many people will the rail strikes kill because NHS staff can't get to work?
overloaded train
reader comment“Trade union bosses bullying the nation with strikes have accused the Transport Sec. of bully-boy tactics? Do they ever listen to themselves? Slushtag ^PrizePillocks.”
reader comment“If the lack of trains encourages more people to Shirk @ Home, that's the demand for railway staff reduced. Jobs gone. No question.”
reader comment“It's the miners all over again. A bunch of greedy grabbers in a contracting industry trying to screw everyone else.” Anne Drex

markerThe NHS is over-prescribing drugs costing the taxpayer £1,000,000,000 per year and 6.5% of the customers in hospitals are there due to adverse reactions to prescription drugs.

bulletQ: How much difference will the heads of Oldham council and GM police apologizing for ignoring child sexual abuse cases make?
bulletA: 0.0000001% of bugger all.

markerDo Tell
Where does the EFU offshore its migrants? It pays Libya to hoover Africans out of the Mediterranean and lock them up in hell holes. It pays the Turks to do the same to prevent migrants from reaching Greece. And it has no problem with sending migrants to Niger & Rwanda.
   Which makes the moans about what our Home Sec. is trying to do just the usual Steamer hypocrisy.

Wobbly Jobbly
bulletQ: Why did Lord Geidt really quit as President Boris's essex guy?
bulletA: Because, sensitive soul, he got a going over from yobbish MPs, Labour called him a tin of whitewash, theGrauniad called him the ultimo stooge and the Remainiac Pretentious Peston of ITN also took a pop—and then had to apologize for it because it was tripe.
   And Geidt didn't think we should have tariffs on artificially cheap Chinese steel, even though the EFU does it. So out he went, ego boiled for at least 20 minutes rather than 3½.

Be Advised That 11% inflation rate? It's all down to the dithering of the Gov. of the Bonk of England and his failure to get a grip. And Sirk Reepy Steamer.

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markerThe Enemy Within
The current NHS blood donor recruitment drive is being sabotaged from within by burrocraps who Xpect blokes, including those in their 60s, to answer questions about whether they are pregnant, and refuse to take a donation from them if they dare to point out that the question in stoopid.
   As Xpected, the response from the honcho of the Blood Transfusion Service was a dollop of the usual inclusivity bullshit.

President Boris gets the head’s up on Cornish courgettes

Sir Dreary Steamer stampreader comment“Did Sird Reary Steamer have to ask the Durham police to make their questionnaire about Biergate simpler? And is that why it took him two whole weeks to work out how to complete is with appropriate alibis?” Bier Hartly-Worthit
reader comment“Does the Labour gang in charge of Durham hate Sird Reary so much that they won't fine him for breaking plague rulz? That will mean he doesn't have an Xcuse to quit and Labour will still be stuck with him as their dreary leader, and the next stooge in the job will seem almost competent in comparison. Very sinister.” Jonto Nigh

reader comment“If he really did think he had to back O.J. Corbynstein to be able to become the Labour leader himself & save the party, that just makes him a two-faced, lying git & shifty. Okay for being president of Putinstan, maybe, but we have higher Xpectations.” Gorst Ravinsky

bulletSird Reary Steamer is rated as even worse than inept Edstone Milipede as a potential leader of the UK.

US flagmarker Sadgeek K'Han't's mayoral jaunt to California to promote the cannabis trade cost the taxpayer 24 grand. No wonder everyone is hard up.

bulletBets are now being laid on when the Untied States will decide they've had their fill of Mhegan the Merciless and dump her in favour of the next virtue flagger in line.

marker Marsman Musk is being sued for $30 BILLION more than his entire wealth by a punter who lost money by 'investing' in the cryptocurrency 'DodgyCoin' and blames the Marsman for it.

markerBusted flushes busted some more
Finally, the leaders of France, Germany & Italy hauled their sorry carcases to Ukraine, only to be compared to the appeasers who told the Czechs in 1938 that giving up the Sudetenland to Mr. Hitler would prevent a world war.
   Worse, the visitors have no problem with letting Pres. Zelensky have guns but as for coughing up ammunition for them—forget it. A trio of chocky teapots, indeed.

markerPrethetic, or what!
The boss of Tesco, K.M. Urphy, would have everyone believe that he works 224 times harder than the supermarquet's average minion.
   This is the best Xcuse he can come up with to justifying being paid £5,000K.

bulletMarsman Musk is also being twitted for sacking 5 mutinous dogs—minions who slagged him off on a company messaging channel.

markerBum-numbingly bogus
Virtue flagging by claiming that an electric vehicle project will prevent the release of 27 million tonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere sounds impressive.
   Until you realize that it amounts to around only nought point 27 zeros one of a per cent of the amount that's currently in the atmosphere.
   Not that impressive.

Z marker Why has it taken so long for the world of swimming to ban edited blokes from the women's branch of the sport? Severe knobbling & getting @ by the Vexatious Bunch has to be behind it.

markerIt takes more than a rail strike to keep the faithful away from Stonehenge on the morning of the summer solstice.

Far Queue symbol The US Supreme Court has been awarded the Bozos of the Century award for removing the right to an abortion after 50 years.

bullet ++ Red Wall Tories tell President Boris to bin Green Bollocks ++ Now even more unaffordable than ever ++

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CFL logoTNF: Inoffensive start for Rough Riders
The Riders kicked off in Montreal and saw the ball returned for a TD by Worthy! Two FGs put the Als 0-13 up at the end of Q1, which they closed with a sack. In Q2, the Riders kicked a FG @ 3rd & 21. Bang! A 70 yard TD pass and 3-20 after 58 seconds. And it was 3-23 at half time.
   In Q3, the Riders reached & goal but were sacked to a FG. Their next drive went to a pick-6 from a tipped pass, 6-30. A penalty wiped out a 76 yard punt return to the end zone by the Als. A huge gain on the next play plus a penalty got them to & goal and they started Q4 with a FG, 6-33.
   The Als got a rouge from a punt and a FG from a pick. The Riders got close with 2 minutes left. A TD for Williams made the final score 13-37. Fajardo, the Riders' QB, got one hell of a lot of exercise from being chased!

markerConfected Wibble
Does it really matter if the UK isn't the world leader in sticking it to the tech firms which are swindling their users with fake news and rigged options? If they all have to comply with tougher EU rules, we'll get the benefit without a load of faffing about by the government's wonks.
   There is nothing fundamentally wrong with being a rule-taker provided the rules which are adopted are sound. 'Thou shalt not kill', f'rinstance. Or 'Come the revolution, thou shalt hang all the lawyers & trade union leaders from the nearest lamp post'.
   Complaining about taking sensible rules is a sign that the moaner is surplus to requirements and can be dispensed with forthwith.

markerThe Bonk of England is being lined up as the fall guy for when the economy goes into recession. What was life like under corrupt blair labour with Gordon F. Broon as Chancellor? We're about to find out.

WTFHThe Met Office is gearing up to give cute names to imaginary heat waves; that's when the temperature exceeds an arbitrary value in one or two places; as part of its GWS agenda. Re-al-lee!

Far Queue symbolBremoaners & GW fraudsters are in a punch-up situation over whether the present transport chaos is down to Brexit or climate change.
Far Queue symbolLord Tarzan of Hezeltini also blames Putridstan's invasion of Ukraine on Brexit. Anything to get noticed for a busted flush.

'orrible artworkbaseball hatF. Bacon's portrait of L. Freud, which has changed hands for £35 MILLION, can be described only as grotesque. And grate rather than great. It's definitely not something you'd want on the dining room wall. Unless you were invaded by unwelcome guests, of course.
reader comment“Wudda bin liable for a visual libel charge had Mr. Freud's legal vultures been on the ball.” Tribo Vaxes
reader comment“Maybe the government of Rwanda should start a libel action against the wonks who claim it's not a safe place for refugees & economic migrants. If it hits them in the pocket, that would certainly encourage them to engage brain before opening gob.” Dan Hauser
reader comment“And do them for blatant rachelism at the same time?” Kelvin Klippy

German's LeadermarkerGermany has the perfect alibi for using its substantial coal stocks to generate electricity. Doing so deprives Putridstan of finance.

bulletToday's Question:
Is a pop star who refers to her daughter as 'them' innumerate and unable to tell that there's only one kid lurking about?

markerThe threat of a windfall tax is having the beneficial effect of preventing companies from sticking a hand in the taxpayer's pocket by getting involved in heavily subsidized green bollocks energy projects.

bonehead It has become a rite of passage for members of Sird Reary's inner gang—being busted by the dosh sheriff of Parliament for not filling in time, the paperwork for bungs.
   Following in the footsteps of their boring leader.

CFL logoFriday Nite Football in Wet Winnipeg
The TiCats started with a couple of punts, the Bombers scored two FGs for 0-6. The Cats needed 2nd & 25, got 41 yards but ended up with just a FG and 3-6. Another FG in Q2, 6-all.
   The Bombers went ahead with a rouge, the Cats got one from a missed punt but it was cancelled, so they picked off Mr. Collards and kicked a FG for 9-7. The Bombers scored a TD as the half ran out and added a rouge in Q3 for 9-15.
   The Bombers went further ahead with a FG and then a smash 'n' grab pick of a tipped pass in the 7th minute of Q4 put them 9-25 ahead. The Cats managed a FG after 10 minutes, the BB scored another single and 12-26 is how things finished.

markerNobody Happy (Xcept us)
The Universe giveth—a rare second term for a sitting president of France to E. MacRon, and the Universe taketh away—his parliamentary majority. Which gives Ron the perfect alibi until he can rig another election in his favour.
   If nothing gets done, it's not his fault and it's all down to everyone else in the circular firing squad being obstructive, such as that French version of O.J. Corbynstein, who's snapping at Ron's heels.

virtue flag Dr. N Watts of NHS England is lobbying to end face-to-face consultations between customers & GPs in the name of achieving zero carbon dioxide emissions and saving The Planet.
   Which invites the conclusion that this burrocrap thinks that killing off the customers will do wonders for the NHS virtue-flagging campaign.
GPs are rushing to back up the honcho's credo. 20,000 of them will be gone by 2027. Let us hope none of them needs the services of the NHS after then as they will probably find themselves out of luck.

reader comment“Is the list of stooges going on strike when it's sunny likely to include the police? And will it do their pay claim any good if no one notices if they shut up shop?” Kristy Sqwauk

bulletQ: Is anyone bovvered about paper £20 & £50 notes becoming obsolete?
bulletA: As most people see them as often as they see a copper, not really.

travelmarkerA return to village life
The Goldarn Age of Travel is over. No trains, no planes, filling up your car costs too much, there aren't enuff chargers for an electric vehicle to go any distance and going hundreds of miles with what you can carry on a bike is a daft idea for most people.

cross symbol What have the Polis of the Metrolopis blown £420 grand of YOUR money on? Catching criminals? Nope. Making a promo video that looks like a clip from a TV cops show and nothing to do with real life.

    WEEK 1    Australian gravy, or what!!

Stolen Price Friday is only TWO days away!

markerPretending to save The Universe
Cosmetic carbon is the new growth industry in Wee Burneystan. Land prices are soaring and the prospect of a clearance of a lot more than Highlanders looms as big firms snaffle land with huge government awards attached for forest & peat regeneration projects to score HUGE Green Bollocks points for doing absolutely nothing planet-saving on scale grounds.

killer ladybirdmarkerApparently, one of the inner circle of Putinazis reckons that Putrid the Poisoner's attack on Ukraine has turned the Britisch into a nation of cannibals. That's the sort of fruity fake news that's coming out of Putinstan.

markerThere are pensioners who, for years, have been spending a big enough chunk of their income on heating and lighting to make the official fuel poverty threshold of 10% of income look highly desirable rather than terrifying. Not all Brits are gritless & gutless.

markerHow do you tell the difference between a transgender Barbie doll and a normal Barbie if they both look like a girl? How are you supposed to know that the doll is supposed to be a boy with a rehashed body?
   Of course, the owner could use her (his?) imagination, but there would be no Xtra profit in it for the manufacturer.

Z in a boxhe’ll be dead
The boss of military intelligence in Putinstan is reported to be of the opinion that the Poisoner's medical conditions won't be allowed to kill him. Someone after his job will arrange an unfortunate incident for him. That's what history tells us about the fate of dicktaters in the 20th & 21st centuries.

One of the BBC's news executives admitted a dozen years ago that sending reporters to stand near the scene of a news story—outside a building, on a motorway bridge, etc.—is a complete waste of time. So why are they still doing it and wasting licence-payers' cash?

reader comment“On the same day that I read an article by D. Blunkett, billed as a former Home Sec., taking a pop at the rail unions' being selfish with their destructive strikes, I read another piece in BFN for January 2011 reminding me that he was sacked from the Home Sec.ship for abuse of office and fiddling his Xpenses. Not Xactly a shining example of probity himself.” Onya Byke

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bulletLest we forget:
The Europeon Convention on Hermann Rights insists that everyone is entitled to be Goering.

“If you can fake sincerity, you've cracked it as a politician”
Will Sirk Reepy, Angela Robot & Ed What'shisface of the Trivials ever manage it?
Don't look likely. They remain in the Captain Underpants universe of style along with Wee Burney, the Irn Bru Bimbo.
reader comment“The message from partygate is that it always takes just a handful of pissant whingers to make more noise than the silent majority. The national shortage of rat's arses confirms this sorry state of affairs.” Dam Boulder

ZooToobFamous Quotes from Yesteryear:
"If I hadn't invented electricity, you'd all be watching television in the dark." – M. Gaddaffy, Libyan Dicktater (deceased)

markerIn China, you can get 17 years in gaol for the crime of growing a beard under the influence of religious Xtremism. No Xplanation for the length of the sentence is on offer but it has to be the length of time it takes commies to deprogramme a Moslem. Or the Moslem to learn how to fake being deprogrammed.

rat'sFar Queue symbolA snap poll on the ishue of whether Pres. Boris should resign found that 65% of the respondents were idiots, trouble-makers or wags. [But not in the footballing sense. Ed.] You can always rely on the Great Britisch Public to give the confecters something to yell about.
reader comment“Sugar Ray's report confirms that Pres. Boris & Mr. Snack, the Chancellor, should not have been fined. Will they get their money back and a grovelling apology from Sirb Eery?” Raquel Fromage
[Squadron of pigs zooming in & out of cloud layer? Ed.]

Far Queue symbolIf you are a GP who abuses women, you can Xpect to get one year in gaol per 4 women abused.

reader comment“In the wonderful future, self-drive vans will have a robotic arm, which will be able to toss deliveries into an ungetatable area of the customer's property. Is that something the government is thinking about? Because there seems to be scope for a TON of pointless regulations governing accuracy of the toss and penalties for making a bog of it.” By Tmee

markerDefective squint
What the whingers are ignoring wilfully is that the rules were there to prevent strangers meeting and spreading/exchanging their version of the plague to/with other strangers, e.g. by doing things like going on a jaunt from London to Durham.
   Workmates associating in the workplace, with or without a glass of wine, don't do this sort of spreading and are almost non-dangerous.

markerBP petrol in Romiley today is 175.9p/litre and diesel is 185.9p/litre, Putrid the Poisoner is being blamed.

markerPubs are hoping for a bumper Jubilee 4 days to help them survive the summer of rail strikes and the collapse of the brewing trade.

UK flagDesperate times
Will the nation survive the national shortage of bunting & Union flag partyware? It's just going to have to. Lock-ins in China and factory closures caused by their plague have created severe shortages of everything festive, and the shipping trade is in a state of collapse, which makes moving it here practically impossible.

Clownsburgreader comment“Does anyone believe that Downing Street dogsbodies were forced to booze after work @ gunpoint? Maybe Gloria Clownsburg does. But not anyone with more than 3 working brain cells.” Ethan Supple
reader comment“Only one bloke was sick, according to Sugar Ray. Strange that this has been inflated to the whole of the Downing Street staff throwing up? Not really, given that the fake news industry run by the Bier Broadchasing Company & the looney left doesn't bother about credibility.” Warren Peas
reader comment“Everyone who thinks it's a good idea to let Harridan Harperson waste 4 months of Commons committee time on pointless partygate BS should be dumped in the Thames. Starting with Harperson.” Pretendo Kendo

Surprise!Shirking @ home doubles your carbon footprint, the Xperts on gorbal warmage reckon, if underused offices have to be heated and lit on 'elf & nazi grounds whilst the people who should be there are heating and lighting their homes.

reader comment“Great job, politics. Lying your head off about other people with your hand in the taxpayer's pocket.” Onya Bike

UK flagThe Modern Police:
Give 'em a poke & you disturb the woke,
Who'd much rather pout than attend a shout.

bulletQ: Ottograph?
bulletA: A celeb or person of note offers the name 'Otto' in their own handwriting.

Far Queue symbol ++ Archbish in ‘Forgive Putrid' storm ++ Dismissed as cheap publicity stunt ++ Not getting enough attention recently? ++

postage stampreader comment“Whether Scotland zeros or doubles its carbon dioxide emissions by 2045 will make bugger all difference to the climate of The Planet. And the politicians who are squandering taxpayers' cash kno it.” Myron Symbol
reader comment“Claiming that shirking @ home would save The Planet is just another example of the Steamer level of fake news confected by the gorbal warmage fraudsters.” Balong Chalk

markerThe Isle of Skye is under siege from a monster pod of around 200 common dolphins. Gorbal warmage is getting the blame.

bulletQ: Borgen?
bulletA: Scandinavian for 'buggers', mate.

reader comment“I got a cordless hedge trimmer for my birthday. All I need now is for someone to give me a cordless hedge for Christmas.” Hartly Worthit

bulletQ: Why do Russians think a bog is something special?
bulletA: Because B-O-G is how they spell GOD.


In Russia, “bog standard” can be something quite exceptional!
This month's special!,
£35 per bottle while stocks last!

Romiley Wine Store, 26 Riverside Drive
open daily, 12 noon to 11 p.m.

markerSomewhat of a wasted effort
A 'top' GP, who did a survey commissioned by NHS England, concluded that the GP system is close to collapse. News Flash, lady! It collapsed a couple of years ago at least but no bugger at the top of the food chain has dared to admit this.

markerLest we forget
Painting the Forth Bridge as a neverending job was binned as a result of the invention of epoxy paints. The official replacement is building the Edinburgh Tramway to acknowledge the uselessness of the SNP's attempt to get this simple job done in a reasonable time @ an affordable budget.
   Either that or an expression involving the ferries, which the SNP is still failing to get built because it's too busy making the paper trail of its incompetence & ludicrous decision making vanish.

first class stampreader comment“Giving the taxpayer's largess directly to power companies makes sense as it prevents feckless bastard customers from throwing it at the nearest online gambling site and coming back with their hand out when it's all gone.” Chipper Wing
[Experience empties the milk bottle of human kindness. Ed.]

reader comment“Police politics: President Boris was fined but shouldn't have been. Sirb Eery wasn't fined but should have been.” Random Tokio

Far Queue symbol Angelica Robot: ". . . debasing the principles of public life before our very eyes."
But wot else do you expect from the Labour party?

bonehead markerHow the police mind works
The police officers who sat outside the school in Uvalde, TX, didn't go inside for an hour because they thought there was no one left alive inside and they didn't think it was a good idea to go in and check.

markerEasy solution
Americans should be allowed to have as many guns as they can afford. But they shouldn't be allowed to have bullets.

reader comment“There's always some publicity-seeking git who'll try to get in the way of a national celebration. Orf to Rwanda with the lot of them.” Tufa Raway
reader comment“Difficult to see how getting in the way of a military band during the Queen's birthday parade in London will affect the climate of The Planet. It only serves to negativize the climate of opinion in re the gits still further.” Dnom Ping
reader comment“Their mouthpieces were moaning about the cost of the parade. No danger of mobbing the Chinese embassy to protest about the trillions blown on containing their plague, though. Slushtag ^TunnelVision.” Stor Badget
reader comment“Gave the police who busted the gits some cheers, though. An experience which won't be too regular for them. ” Tak Tierem

Z in a boxThe Labour party is now discussing how to get rid of Sirk Reepy Steamer as its leader if the pakt with the Trivials fails and they lose another general election.
   Red Ed of the Trivials seems to be intent on making the next election (rumoured to be next year) the Tories vs everyone else. The worst case scenario is an unholy mess of minorities on the grab—including a new party led by the discarded warmonger t.b. liar.

reader comment“Maybe we need to send the Ghostbusters to London to tackle the river of negative slime that's sloshing about under Westminster.” Crazy Mulligan

first class stampmarkerJoin the club!
There was a small earthquake in Shropshire during the week—strength Richter 3.8. No one dead, no wonky buildings collapsed, nothing to send the news meeja into a feeding frenzy. But everyone in the area now qualifies for Earthquake Survivor status, like long-term residents of Romiley.
   The one we had in July of 1984 was labelled the Quake of the Century by the news meeja. The last two to be felt in Romiley both took place at night. Fans watching Monday Night Football on Channel 5 got a shaking in 2002. We haven't had a noticeable one since the end of February of 2008, when the earth moved at one a.m.

reader comment“Should people who are complaining about the amount of time they are wasting at airports be privilege shamed for being able to afford a foreign holiday when there are people complaining that they are struggling to survive in a costa living crisis which has barely begun?” Collar Terrell

Z in a boxmarkerThere’s always plenty around
"Russia is trying to prevent civil war & murder of civilians by killing all the civilians in Ukraine," according to Putrid's personal edition of airways megastar Lord Haw-Haw
   He's a rent-a-gob putinazi who was evicted from England a couple of decades ago, and who will parrot anything he's paid to say.

bulletQ: Why is the civil service not answering phone calls from the people who pay their wages?
bulletA: Because the minions are too busy confecting spurious genders in pursuit of Total Wonkism. The score is now over 100.

Far Queue symbolSome political creep wants President Boris to Xplain why he chose not to break the Ministerial Code.
Slushtag ^WasteOfSpace & ^PosturingPillock
reader comment“That thing about Monoblotny looney left whingers/confecters has never been more true. They're just traffickers in human misery—not for the benefit of the miserable but because they think it makes them look powerful & in charge.” Gor Agall

bullet Conveyors with seating facing one of the sides is to be installed in GP surgeries everywhere to speed up processing of the customers.

Far Queue symbol Trivials accuse government of failing to wave magic wand—reminding everyone why they are called Trivials.

bulletApropos of nothing at all—cat ESP is a real phenomenon

cat esp

ShockHorror"Labour manoeuvring to back Sirk Reepy over a cliff."
—from our correspondent Am Biguous

markerRocky road
The people making taxpayers' money out of the wonky H2S rail amition are up in arms over the continuation of Shirk @ Home. They see it as a serious threat to their scam. The premium prices to be charged for H2S journeys make a video business meeting a much more attractive prospect, especially if all the travelling time is eliminated.

markerThe 9.5 million pet cats in Britain (just a guess) may kill 160-270 million creatures per year (just a guess). Or not.

markerWorth a try?
Some people are pretending to be smokers. Why? In that hope that they can persuade the mugs running their local council to give them a £200 bribe to quit.
   Pregnant women get a bribe of £400, which has set chancers (male, not pregnant) wondering if they can identify as female & preggers and cop for the double bubble bribe from the mugs.

rageBritain's most senior of colour copper is demanding to know why he isn't getting the job of boss of the Notional Crime Agency (as of right?) instead of Hulk Hogan Hypen Howe, who has a long & undistinguished track record of failure (including Operation Midland's nonce confecting antics). Entitlement still Rulz, Nokay.
   He also missed out on a shot at the job of Commish of the Polis of the Metrolopis. Cue more cash sliding into the coffers of the legal trade?

The announcement by a French government minister that there were 40,000 Liverpool fans with fake tickets in Paris for the shambles that was the Champions' League final has put the tin lid on President MacRon's credibility.
reader comment“Lazy bastard politicians who can't be bothered to think up anything resembling a decent lie are true Steamers.” Propan Chor
reader comment“A situation not helped by UEFA issuing a grovelling apology for the damage done in its name.” Amer Riccano

markerReality doing a bit of biting
Senior Tory MP D. Davis has the Gov. of the Bonk of England trembling in his boots. What is the point of an independent regime @ the Bank, Mr. Davis has dared to ask, if it fails to spot things like the present surge in inflation?
   A question to which the Gov. doesn't appear to have anything in the way of an answer.
   Mr. Davis also thinks the famous windfall tax on energy companies is unlikely to raise anything like the £5 BILLION that Chancellor Snack is hoping to rake in. How much he does actually blag will provide a useful diagnostic test of Mr. Snack's competence.

Is he for real now?
After a decidedly wonky start when he went soft on shoplifters, the new Chief Inspector of Constabulary, formerly the Chief Con. of Merseyside, has decided that coppers need to kick down doors to catch criminals instead of trying to do it by Shirking @ Home.
   Is A. Cooke now cooking with gas? Or will the virtue virus erupt again?

postage stampreader comment“President Boris's ethics adviser threatens to quit 'coz he thinks the partygate fine that the boss received broke the Ministerial Code. In fact, the fine was totally bogus & confected by the police on political grounds and should never have been issued.
   “And if this decorative lackey doesn't get that, he should be on his bike to obscurity.” Anton Fehlt

bulletToday’s Wisdom
"In the best relationships, feedback triggers feedforward."

Ms MercilessmarkerNot me, Gov!
Mhegan the Merciless has created an alibi for looking a bit tatty when she does her attention-seeking during The Queen's Jubilee celebrations.
   Nowt to do with her. Any wonkiness is down to the bloke wot paints her face. He's just one of the vast army of minions dragged across the pond on her bandwagon to service the cause.

X-ray machinemarkerMe neither, Gov!
The geniuses in charge of the NHS have cancelled 25,000 hospital beds over the last dozen years. Which has left the nation 13,000 beds short of the number needed to spare customers the ordeal of 12 hours spent in a corridor on a trolley or even in the back of an ambulance.
   Don't you just wish the civil service could find people with more than 2 working brain cells to run the vital stuff?

markermarkerThe Amazing Disappearing Resignation Illusion
Whilst one lot of Labourites is plotting the cancellation of Sirb Eery Steamer after he loses a general election next year or the year after, another lot is plotting to ensure that he is still the leader when the wheels come off.
   The plan is to let him 'win' an immediate re-election 'contest' if he has to resign over his biergate boozing.

markerNever going to happen
An ancient aristocratic former government adviser thinks it would be a great idea to put a muzzle on cats when they are outdoors and not being supervised by their staff. So that's the price of 9,500,000 muzzles added to jack up the costa living crisis.
   Plus vet's bills for all the animals who damage themself trying to get the muzzle off.
   Strange how there are always lotz of ideas sloshing around for blowing even more cash rather than conserving it, even when times are supposed to be hard.

Z in a boxWarmonger to Useful Idiot
The minders of former iconic mover & shaker H. Kissenger must really hate him if they let him travel to a plutocrats' meeting @ Davros, home of the Daleks, to order the Ukrainian government to surrender to Putrid the Poisoner as much of their country as he can swallow. The amount of derision hurled at him would inflict severe damage on the armour of anyone younger than this 99-year-old, who stopped living in the real world back in the 1970s.

baseball hatIf governments are finding it currently fashionable to issue apologies to victims of state persecution, will we see one given to the family of Stephen Thoburn who, we were reminded by Little John of the Mail, was driven into an early grave for the 'crime' of selling vegetables by the pound instead of in kilos?
   He's just as dead as any witch.

Kreepy KneebulletOur inquisitor, Nadger Gobinson, reports:
It has been pointed out that the RMT rail shirkers are ramming it up the BLAME Bunchers on picket lines with their slogan "Never On Our Knees". The nation waits anxiously to discover how they are managing to get away with it.

hatmanYou're a politician and you want to get noticed—what's the best way? Marjo Retailer (Rep., Georgia) has found abusing words [a ploy not unfamiliar to students of BFN Ed.] works a treat.
   Her inventions include using gazpacho for Gestapo and peach tree dish for that laboratory essential the petri dish. The world awaits in eager expectation for her next assault on the world's languages.

footballNo sentimentality in Wales
A 1-0 win over Ukraine at the Jubilee weekend via an own goal by the visitors has put them into the World Cup finals for the first time for 64 years.

The Blob has done such a good job of creating generations of uneducated parents that a majority is now resorting to seeking inspiration from a talking tin can digital assistant when kids are struggling with their homework.
   This is seen as another achievement of The Blob—that the kids are too dim either to ask the tin can themself or to look stuff up on the interweb.

police helmet The Durham police seem to be trying to find out if Sirb Eery & his minion A. Robot can claim to have been too pissed @ their booze-up to know what they were doing and therefore can be Xcused a fine. Along with the local MP (Labour), who was also there.
   This Xcuse isn't available to President Boris as it has been established beyond any unreasonable doubt that he never got ratted in a workspace.

markerConfecter’s Corner
Is fuel tax really filling up the Treasury's coffers? Diesel's notional price per 55 litre tankful has gone up by £28.02 compared to last year's price. With the cut in fuel duty, only £1.91 is extra tax—2 quid or 7%.
   Which means that 93% of the extra cash isn't going to the government as tax, no matter how much the looney left wants to pretend that it is.

look rightGood NewsThe government Xpects to be able to keep the nation's lights on this winter if we chop off some green bollocks like closing our vital coal-fuelled power stations.
   Cue much wailing & gnashing of teeth from Labour & the SNP on being deprived of a chance to whinge about power cuts and lie about the brilliant job they would have done of keeping us illuminated.

markerOur police are wonderful—Official!
92% of claims of misconduct against police officers are drowned in the bucket of bureaucracy and only 1% results in a slap on the wrist.
   Wonderful status, however, is not a claim that can be made by the court system, which is now taking two years on average to let a burglar off.

bulletThe term 'travelling public' is no longer in use as it's not something that's happening to any great Xtent.

Boris eyesmarkerWho else but BoJo?
59% pro President Boris in the Tory leadership challenge? More than enuff to put the random collective of self-interested non-entities back in their boxes.

third class stampreader comment“Sirk Reepy can smirk all he wants but he knows his party is still full of Corbynsteiners and it's led by a proven hypocritical liar. And more important, the customers kno this, too.” Guido Lunch
reader comment“Let us not forget that Sirb Eery got only 56% of the votes in the election to replace Corbynstein. But he probably doesn't want us to remember that.” Res Trooms

tick symbol Marsman Musk has come up with an interesting solution to the Shirk @ Home culture. If alleged employees don't turn up @ their office and putin at least 40 hours of toil, then they are assumed to have resigned and cancelled their employment.

Far Queue symbol The Welsh are at it again, threatening to burn down holiday homes owned by outsiders to make the housing stock shrink.

Far Queue symbol 82% of the responders to a GB Views poll said they thought the meeja are nowhere near hard enuff on Mhegan the Merciless.

marker One of the Putinstani murderers of dissenter A. Litvinyenko is reported to have been cancelled by the Chinese Plague. One down, lots more to go.

bulletQ: I'm reading a collection of SF stories—what's an ansible? I gather it's something to do with communications.
bulletA: It's fictional technology which offers nearly instantaneous or faster than light communications. In a non-fiction context, it's a means of configuring one computer, or even a network, on offer to people with no programming skills. Which sounds like a great recipe for throwing lotz of dosh at Xperts for fixing the blunders of the well-meaning but unskilled.

Scottish flagWee Burney Sturgeon The Scottish government is doing nothing much to fix the Shirking @ Home culture by making it possible for people to travel to a workplace.
   The infrastructure of the railways north of the border is an unreliable disaster area and work to make roads and vital bridges safe to use just isn't being done.
   Whatever the SNP is wasting our cash on, it's not travel & transport. Trams, ferries . . . if it's supposed to move and carry people & goods, it don't in Wee Burneystan. There's just disaster & bungle instead.

Far Queue symbol Wee Burney Sturgeon would like people to stop noticing she's all mouth & trousers and especially to stop daring to say she's useless.

bulletToday's Question:
The Primate of All England—is he good for anything other than monkeying around, playing looney left politics badly?

bulletQ: Do people have to worry about the calories in a deep-fried Mars bar?
bulletA: Not any more, given the rate of shrinkflation of formerly iconic treats. How long before a decent helping will need two of them?

markerPointless Pillocky Panic
"Atmospheric carbon dioxide is at levels our species has never Xperienced before," the Xperts @ the US ocean & atmosphere monitoring agency are yelling. But no worries, mates.
   Our atmosphere Xperts tell us that 0.04% of carbon dioxide in our air supply is entirely irrelevant to ‘uman beanz and we can tolerate way more of it with no ill effects.


To Books (Worth) ReadingTo Books (Worth) ReadingMr. Wydey’s Book List

Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

    WEEK 2    Putin the ‘prod’ into prodigal

The mealy mouthed Grauniadiers got a fair clobbering from the pro-Britain elements of the meeja during the Jubilee Fest. But hey, no worries. Being unappreciated just gives the Groaners something more to whinge about between sneers.

rageThe Bier Broadchasing Company is in tears. Despite its lengthy & strenuous efforts, President Boris is still there. Much wailing & gnashing of teef also from the rest of the looney left.
   Especially when anyone dares to remember that 44% of the Labour lot didn't vote for Sirb Eery Steamer as their leader.

markermarker Not a biery word from the Labour leader & his robotic deputy about all the rail strikes? Could it be anything to do with Labour being buried up to the eyebrows in the pockets of the trade unions, who pay for the biers & currys?
   Always has been, always will be.

Far Queue symbol Remoaner & Locker-Inner J. Hunt has been voted this week's
Most Superfluous Tory MP.

markerInventive, as always, the Great Britisch Public
Some airports are having to round up wheelchairs from all over to cope with the gangs of people who are pretending to be disabled to dodge queues.
   An industry boss reckons there should be a special place in Hell for the enterprising Sit-Down Swindlers. Passengers stuck in endless queues going out into car parks think there should be one for airline bosses.

masked BorismarkerPretty good show-stopper
It's worth remembering President Boris' reply to a pushy meeja lefty who was accusing him of being the worst person on The Planet with a dodgy question: "I don't agree with the conclusion, with the question asked or the premise of the questions."
   Definitely something which should be deployed more often when the shovers get uppity.

tick symbol A good thing to be, it seems from the present state of chaos, is the boss of an airline company. They get megabucks when things are working and still megabucks when they ain't. Wunderbar.

markerNot Putin Up With It
Putinstan's local militias, which are drawn under threat of cancellation permanently from the population of occupied/infiltrated areas of Ukraine, ain't happy about being sent to the front line to die without proper arms, food & medical exceptions.
   "Life's a bitch and then you die," is the message coming back to them from the Putinocracy. Along with accusations of sabotage and being the worst people on The Planet.

markerLibelled filum star J. Depp could spend the next 30 years waiting for his damages from ex-wife A. Heard, who is now pleading poverty and no prospects due to unemployability.

Far Queue symbol The Can't Prosecute Service has become wonker. It no longer employs women. The wonk adviser has declared that they have to be womxn.
reader comment“How are you supposed to pronounce that? Woe-mexicans?” Choc O'Latski

markerAnything for some attention?
US presidential wannabe Hillarious Clinton has joined Team Putrid with a claim that holding Putrid the Poisoner accountable for his attack on Ukraine will lead to accusations of aggression against the UK and the US over the illegal attack on Iraq confected by Dubya Bush & t.b. liar.
   She obviously fails to get that letting Putrid get away with it doesn't mean that Bush & bliar should also get a free pass as there isn't some sort of rule or convention involved.

markerDesperately Seeking Attention (+Dosh)
The Gorbal Warmage Fraudsters are up in arms over the damage Putrid's attack on Ukraine has done to their finances. Too many countries are now more worried about getting enough energy & food to survive than about giving cash to GWFs for cosmetic campaigns.

UK flagDespite the best efforts of the Bremoaners, the BBC & the rest of the looney left, President Boris WON his party's vote of confidence.
   Shame the loonies can't accept this but that's the groove they're stuck in.
reader comment“J. Hunt, leadership wannabe, is a pound shop Machiavelli? His record says he's not even worth a Zimbabwean dollar.” Alvin Comparator

ShockHorrorThere are actually ‘uman beanz on The Planet who don't think Sirk Reepy Steamer is the most marvellous person in the whole history of The Universe!!

markerDesperately Seeking Attention (+Dosh) part II
The only reason why the Westmonster Bubble is navel-gazing is that the squawkers don't have anything useful to offer in the way of solutions to real world problems.
   All they can think of is getting higher up the tree so they can cram their fist deeper into the taxpayer's pocket.

markerSome airlines are cancelling just 2% of planned flights. Which puts the meeja hysteria into some perspective.

cross symbol If people can do 100% of their work in 80% of the time for 5 days' pay, as Xperts are claiming is perfectly possible & reasonable, that confirms that we are a nation of idle slackers!

Far Queue symbol Putinazis or russian mobozos. Some choice!

markerTurkey is as Turkey does
If you watch the UN's TV channel, you will be able to eat a turkey sandwich whilst watching the ambassodor from TÜRKiYE in action. That's the name on the stamps, as philatelists know, but the current stroppy president wants to shed all connections with the American definition of a turkey being something of a flop.
   Which is what Mr. Ergogan's period of office has been in terms of making friends & influencing people. And having him in NATO has the same effect as handing a veto to Team Putrid.

tick symbol Rumours of the band Far Cough reforming for a gig in the autumn are getting a likelihood rating of 80%. High fliers a decade ago, they made enuff loot to quit the business and devote the rest of their lives to doing their own things. But the itch to perform seems to need a scratch again.



The Cheese of Choice of
a sometime Really Big Cheese

Back in stock @ Romiley Cheese Shop,
159 Riverside Drive

baseball hatInflation in Putridstan is 19.7%. Here's it's only 11.1%. It's a contest which Putrid is winning easily despite the best efforts of the Bonk of England and the trade unions.

markerFiddling the figures, as usual
The Britisch population comprises 3% Afrons, 4% Moslems & 7% Asians, and consists of 87% white customers and 13% of ethnic minorities. Which indicates that the majority are getting short changed mightily everywhere.
   Good job they're a tolerant bunch, as a whole.

markerOff they go, one by one . . . species
Back in 2011, World Nature Watch added the British Bobby to its list of endangered species as people didn't see one on their streets from one month to the next.
   BFN has made some inquiries and found that BBs are now officially on the Xtinct list as people in places like Romiley don't see one on their streets from one year to the next.
   The Xperts reckon this is because coppers became addicted to the pointless paperwork created by corrupt bliar labour and they can now Xist only in warm offices and not out on the mean streets.

baseball hat Good news for Romiley residents—Putrid the Poisoner's invasion plans for Europe end @ Stonehenge, which is well to the south of us.

Superhero Biermanmarker’avin’ a Giraffe
That's the only conclusion possible from the news that pubs in London are charging over 8 quid (!) for a pint of bier.
reader comment“Not something that will trouble Sirb Eery & the other subsidized by the taxpayer boozers @ the Palace of Westmonster.” Herm Ajesti

bullet"No one knows more about nowt than Bierman!"

marker’avin’ anuvver
The Tory 1922 Committee took an hour to count 359 confidence/none votes. If there were 36 of them to provide enuff fingers, maybe they kept getting in one another's way.
reader comment“Maybe there were only 18 of them and they had to round up some chairs so they could take their shoes & sox off to provide enuff digits.” Gotya Raskikt
reader comment“Maybe they stopped for bier & curry half-way through and that's why it took them so bloody long.” Marjo Retailer

Z in a boxWhat they’re saying about J. Hunt
Machiavelli? Two-bob tosser, impenetrably bland, an unprincipled windsock (as a Bremoaner who is pretending to have reversed), the more you see (of him), the less you want.

Just to remind you:
Tory embarrassment J. Hunt, MP, when Culture Minister, won the BFN SOBOB** of the Month Award in August 2012.
** Son Of a Bitch Oxygen Breather

Far Queue symbol The government is considering a plan to bin permanent secretaries & other intransigent civil service mandarins in favour of outside Xperts, who might just kno what they're talking about.

Far Queue symbol Cowboy parking firms are throwing a legal wobbly @ government plans to cap fines @ £50 instead of the current £100 rip-off.

marker’avin’ a Panda
Something she hopes we've forgotten? Edinburgh Zoo's pandas are on loan from the Chinese regime to the Britisch people. Thus if Wee Burney takes Scotlandland into independence, the pandas will get a free transfer to an Englisch zoo.

markerStuck on the drawing board?
We don't seem to be hearing any more claims of cases of ‘religious rapture', which is a totally bogus condition which 'uman bluddy rights lawyers were attempting to use to get terrorists** off a decade ago.
** in lawyer-speak, they are ‘radicals exercising their 'uman bluddy right to self Xpression'.

baseball hatThere is something very Britisch & perverse about people queueing to get a passport knowing that they probably won't be able to use it with the travel industry @ a standstill.

Z boxed Putinstan's air force is having to rely on internet crowd funding as the Kremlin has run out of cash to supply basic bitz & pieces like radios, torches, pilot's helmets & oxygen masks.

markerBP fuel in Romiley:
Petrol 186.9p/litre, Diesel 191.9p/litre. Diesel is still winning.

CFL logoIt’s back, good old Canadian Crunch!
Or is it? What's with the yellow flags the refs were tossing around in Calgary, home of the Scrampeders, when they or the visiting Montreal Al Capones broke the rules during Thursday Nite Football? Run out of red ones? And they've been messing about with the pitch & the rules.
   The Stamps got a TD from a pick in the MTL opener. 7-all after 9 minutes. Then the defences woke up. The Stamps went ahead in Q2, the Als lost their superstar running back Stanback on the way to an equalizer. A monster run by his backup set up a FG and 17-14. An immediate pick of Mitchell put Adams on the road to a clobbering then a leap into the end zone on the next play, 24-14 at the half.
   Sack on Adams, punt, short field but only a FG for the Stamps. A pick by the Stamps and on to . . . a FG, 24-20. The Als had a FG try blocked and the Stamps went ahead with a TD in Q4. A FG from the Als made it 27-all with time running out. The Stamps stopped the Als and kicked a FG with 27 seconds left for a 27-30 home win. And so it begins . . .

Z in a boxMajor peace dividend shortage
President MacRon has got his toolkit out and he's building an exit ramp so that Putrid the Poisoner can get his Putinazis out of Ukraine.
   One small snag, Macron is all mouth & trousers and anything he builds will collapse when the first tank rolls on to it.
Z stamp   Even worse, when he realizes he's lost, all Putrid has to do is go on state TV and announce that the Putinazis have won a stunning victory and anyone who doesn't believe it is orf to Siberia.
reader comment“Are the putinazis grateful for the Frog's self-promotion? Not if they're calling him a useless lump and a waste of space on their national TV service.” Nas Tibast
reader comment“The level of enthusiasm for MacRon in Putridstan is about the same as what Team Kreepy gets here.” Gloria Clownsburg

bonehead Do we care that West End shows in London are playing to fairly empty houses because they are overpriced and/or too woke to watch?
   Not really, if travelling anywhere to be ripped off is orf the agenda 'coz the RMT is on strike again.

first class stampmarkerStill one rule for her and another for everyone else
Wee Burney is long on demands for publication of reports on the alleged misdeeds of other politicians but short on doing it with reports on her own gang.
   F'rinstance, the report on former meenister F. Ewing. He was accused of bullying two years ago. The report has been completed and Wee Burney is just sitting on it. Spurious data protection grounds is her feeble Xcuse.

bulletQ: Is it odd that Sirb Eery took a job as a Queen's Counsel despite being fanatically opposed to the monarchy?
bulletA: Par for the course for a hypocrite.

2 biersFar Queue symbol Sir Bier Steamer "utterly unfit for office . . . the Britisch public are fed up with his culture of lies & law breaking . . ."
reader comment“Sir Biery can claim rightly that he hasn't lost the trust of the Britisch public ‘coz he's never had it.” Stone E. Broke
reader comment“Let us bask in the warm glow of Sirb Eery's bonfire of values.” E. Klips
1 beerreader comment“And what does he have to offer? EFU membership in all but name. All the taxes, fraud & pointless regulations with no say in how the EFU is run. Total sell-out and betrayal. Wunderbar.” S. Treuth
reader comment“44% of his party against him in his leadership election says it all.” Martin Crosstalk

CFL logoFriday Nite Football
We got another close battle between well-matched teams. The reigning Grey Cup champion Blue Bombers scored first in Winnipeg, the Red Blacks drew level and went in at half time 11-10 up.
   Q3 finished with the RBs 14-10 up. The Bombers went ahead with a TD in Q4 but missed the convert, 14-16. Collards was dinged and hauled off the field by the injury spotted with time running out but Brown got the Bombers to FG range and a 17-19 walk-off win.

Week 8
An Experiment in Azerbaijan
   Having taken the trouble to design them, the tyre manufacturers wanted a wet race for some feedback on their problems. The weather didn't look like co-operating but a trackside sprinkler system; a watery analogue of floodlights; kept the spectators dry but gave the drivers a challenge.
   As is usual on these occasions, the big fish opted for caution but the tiddlers had no problem with throwing it to the winds and they scooped up all four podium positions.

markerWot Food Crisis?
  A person of normal size needs 2,000 calories per day or 2 kilocalories (kcal).
  A box of 16 Lindor truffles (200 gms) provides 1,233 kcal or 77 kcal per sweet.
  That's enuff energy input for 38½ days PER SWEET.
Anyone who claims they're not getting enuff dietary intake is clearly scoffing the wrong sort of grub.

marker Is it really a 'taser Thames death' if a bloke making a nuisance of himself with a screwdriver was tasered by the police but got right up again and was able to vault over railings to try to get away by swimming for it in the river? The tasering sounds entirely irrelevant if he was so unaffected by it.

baseball hatLest We Forget
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.


Selected Follow-Up Queets:
quitterA guy with a rock can give you a shock. A guy with a gun can kill you for fun.
quitterBut if you have a shield, You don't need to yield.
quitterBut if you're full of bier, You won't feel any fear.
quitterIf you have a phaser, you can laugh @ a taser.

quitterQuitter, the REAL networking sitequitter

markerSounding Off
It's fashionable to pretend that the post-war generation are the luckiest people on The Planet. Right.
   They had to put up with the last gasp of wartime rationing, Harold bloody Wilson & Sunny Jim Callaghan wrecking the economy, the strike-happy culture that lasted until Margaret Thatcher sorted out the Scaregills, the catastrophe of corrupt new labour and Gordon F. Broon being allowed to trash the economy and let all the banks go bust.
   And if that wasn't enough, there was a plague from China when we'd extricated ourselves from the dead embrace of the EFU and now a costa living crisis thanks to Putrid the Poisoner trying to take over Ukraine.
   Lucky? Yeah, right.

bonehead The Church of Scotland is taking a lot of flak for being economical with the truth by pretending that Rwanda is still run by the genocidal regime of the 1990s and not a safe place where people fleeing persecution; and economic migrants; can be supported.

strike!Anything for revenge?
If the posters are to be believed, the BLAME Bunchers fomented the strike @ the airport near Paris last week. If so, they're probably behind the ones scheduled for Spain & elsewhere to stop mainly white folks from travelling or getting home.
   Pesky critters, ain't they?

Edmonton Antlers helmetThe Last shall be Third in the CFL opening week
One of the Edmonton Antlers was carted off after the first play in BC. No Mike Reilly! The Lions got a TD from their opener, the Antlers managed a FG. The Lions chewed up their opponents and they were 6-35 up at half time? No, it became 6-42.
   The Antlers got a TD from their second half opener, went for 2, jumped offside and got nowt more. 12-42. It was 15-49 starting Q4 and 15-59 final. Groan. Bring back the Eskimos!

bulletQ: Is Sirb Eery Steamer a lying hypocrite or a hypocritical liar?
bulletA: Depends whether you think he lied first and then made hypocritical accusations against others for the same offences, or vice versa.

markerMission Can’t Be Bovvered
The Environment Agency has declared that building flood defences and preventing coastal erosion is too difficult to manage, and it will no longer even pretend to do anything in this area.
   But it will still take money off the taxpayer as if it were going to do something worthwhile.
   Gorbal warmage is getting the blame. Plus a claim that whilst sea levels around the UK rose by 6" over the last 120 years, the rise over the next 80 years will be 44", and that's the alibi for the excessive difficulty.

markerExperimental evidence sought
3,300 people @ 70 companies are doing a 6-month trial to find out if they can turn up on 4 days of the week, get 5 days' pay and deliver the same level of production/productivity.
   If not, they will all be sacked as idle slackers.
reader comment“This is not going to work with doctors, 70% of whom are heading for the hills of early retirement soonest if they're a GP.” Aunty Quitty

bonehead A man who persisted in eating peanuts on a British Airways internal flight despite being advised that he was in the vicinity of a teenager with nut allergy is to be charged with reckless endangerment. The cabin crew will also be charged.
   The girl went into anaphylactic shock after the cabin crew decided they were unable to move her to another compartment of the aircraft and she ended up in hospital.

Be Advised The instructions to the Can't Prostitute Service from its latest advisor from Wonk World have been revised. Female staff will now be referred to as womXXn & womXYn to distinguish between the real deal and blokes who have been edited.

Far Queue symbol Sirb Eery has decided that the IRA will get special privileges in Northern Ireland from a future Labour government. Great reason for us to vote for him. Not.

Z boxedThe anti-Boris Bremoaners are trying to put an EFU spin on the rules for having a confidence vote in the party leader. If they don't get their way immediately, Tory MPs will have to vote & vote again until they produce the right result.
   Then all voting will cease.

Knee of Grace Twatter is going into a tail spin as Marsman Musk's takeover is deluged in doubt due to Twatter's failure to be honest and open about the number of fake or ‘bot' accounts operated for sinister political & sabotage purposes by Putinstan & Nachi.
   They say 5%, he sez nearer to 20%. Quite a gap to bridge.

Z boxedThe NHS wokesite has cancelled the word 'women'. It cannot be used now, not even in the wonk form womxn. This is being done in line with the best clinical evidence and to make the wokesite helpful to everyone who needs it.

CFL logoWill the Home Teams stay perfect?
What a start for the Green & White. They recovered a TiCat fumble at their 23, but just a FG from it. A pick stopped the next TC drive but the Riders were 2 & gone. The Cats got level at the end of Q1. Lots of defence in Q2. The Riders kicked a FG inside the last 3 minutes, a 46-yard try by the Cats hit the upright, 6-9.
   The Riders fumbled away the Q3 opener, FG for the Cats, 6-all. Fajardo did lots of running on the way to a Rider FG. It was 6-12 going into Q4. Another FG from them then the Cats scored a TD!! with a 71 yard play. 13-15. One for the Riders inside the last 3 minutes. Then a pick by the Riders, almost a TD from it and Fajardo went in from the 1 on the next play, +2, 13-30 final.

baseball hatUnable to recruit/train doctors & nurses, the management of the NHS is doing its best to hurl as much taxpayers' dosh as possible at non-jobs like diversity managers to keep the numbers of employees up.

boneheadThe train company Alston wishes to assure rail passengers on the Elizabeth Line in London that they are in no danger. Even though the Aventra trains have multiple explodable boxes with a 15 lb metal door fitted to the carriages.
   Passengers are in no danger of being killed by flying shrapnel. Oh, no. Definitely not at all.

markerThe management of York University has decided that it is necessary to warn snoflake archaeology students that they could be confronted with bitz of 'uman skeletons and mummified 'uman bodies.

markerThe management of Exeter University is warning snoflakes on its forensic science course that they may be Xposed to images of dead & abused bodies, and input from CSIs and pathologists. All of which they may find distrubing.
[If so, what are they doing on the course? And how will they cope with real life in a job after it? Ed.]

markerBad people do bad things
Sirk Reepy Steamer has been Xposed as the architect of groundless police persecution of media personalities such as P. Gambaccini, J. Davidson & Sir C. Richard when he was Director of Public Prostitutions.
   This was done in the wake of his failures in re J. Savile, paedophile of this parish, as an attempt to rebuild his reputation (failed) on the wreckage of the reputations of innocent people.
[No wonder he took up politics if he thought that was okay. Ed.]

face maskPolitics Xplained
Sirk Reepy Steamer's alibi for biergate Xposed—he was working . . . his way through a crate of beer & a helping of curry.

marker The government in New Zealand is planning to phase out the nation's cattle & sheep farming with a tax of animal emissions of greenhouse gases, which will drive the industry into insolvency within the next 8 years.

bulletQ: Where Xactly in the rules does it say that the Himalayas have to have glaciers and the poles have to have ice caps?
bulletA: Pass.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

    WEEK 3    Diversity Dilutes—In Sameness Is Strength

markerThe Aliens are at it again
Bradford is the UK's Caterpillar of Culture in 2025. Not much sign of worthwhile culture there at the moment, though, with Moslems confecting more outrage than you can shake a stick at over a film about Mohammed's daughter, Fatima, and the scumbag tendency threatening violence. It will be a long, uphill road to anything meaningful in 2025.

bulletQ: If Labour's cryptocommunist leader won't disown the bosses of the rail unions, is it no longer the party of working people?
bulletA: Well, yes. Logically, if the rail unions are always on strike, their members are clearly not workers. Not that Labour has been all that interested in working people for ages—except as a source of income.

tick symbol In case you were wondering, Sir D. Attenborough has been awarded a second K for earning a living from the broadcast meeja across 8 decades.

markerMore of the old “Not me, Gov!”
Discarded German Kanzler Angular Mherkel is attempting to deny that her being soft on Putrid the Poisoner convinced him that he could get away with attacking Ukraine.
   She would also like the chroniclers of Europeon history to accept that Mherkel conspiring with the French to keep Ukraine out of NATO in 2008 was not a contributory factor to the invasion.

bullet President Boris has been made an honorary member of Ukraine's Cossack community. Which means that he could be seen in the near future galloping around the capital recklessly on a horse rather than a bike.

red fistmarkerForget Inflation, Outflation & Stagflation
What we have to worry about now is Greedflation by firms that shove up prices ‘because they just know they can and because they just know mugs will pay the price' and not in response to increases in the cost of their materials, production & labour.

marker Out of a UK population of 67 millions, just over a quarter of a million don't know which sex they are. A trivial minority? Indeed. Which means that everyone agitating about them is a twerp.

markerFirst . . . Don’t Get Sick
Yet another of Wee Bee's failings—doing nothing about appointing a Patients' Safety Commissioner two years after being told it's a necessary job to protect patients who have been failed by the NHS in Scotland, e.g. the ones who got mesh implants.

Far Queue symbol Something else that the SNP is dragging its feet over is removing flammable cladding from tall buildings.

tick symbol The trade unions are mightily discombobulated over plans to let firms use agency workers to replace strikers to keep things going.

Z in a box The Russians have been planting anti-personnel and anti-vehicle landmines in the areas of Ukraine from which they have been evicted to cripple farming by killing people and blowing up tractors.
   Famine in Africa looks to be a dead certainty now with Putrid the Poisoner getting the blame and not being bovvered.

Scottish flagMinnies Moaning
The shortlisters for the McIlvanney Prize @ the Bloody Scotland crime writing festival are being kicked for going for the best in the field instead of including non-white authors in the interests of tokenism.
tick symbol The Meenister in charge of reforming Scottish education has declared that she will not be deflected by the looney left The Blob's attempts to bin change & innovation. Good luck with that, Ma'am!

Far Queue symbol Putrid the Poisoner has admitted that he's trying to take over Ukraine, not liberate it, on the spurious grounds that it was one part of the Soviet empire. Similar rumblings in Rome, Persia and elsewhere?

reader comment“Is there any point in demanding tougher action against airlines that cancel flights and don't switch their customers to another carrier when there isn't an alternative with spare capacity?” Claud Fingers

Far Queue symbol Gooble searches have been Xposed as having an 83% bias to the looney left of news fakery rather than the real world and the bias level can reach 91% when a Tory politician is involved.
bullet Don't want to be spied on? Try the search engine instead.

baseball hat Just to be clear, the Labour shadow Leveller is on the side of the £50+K per year railway employees who are going on strike but not on the side of strikers. Sirk Reepy, on the other hand, is chomping at the bit to be photographed pontificating on a picket line.

bulletQ: What do you do when you've won a lottery prize of £184,000,000?
bulletA: Upset the news meeja by buying a second-hand car for an eye-watering £38K.
[Shudda come to Romiley for a better bargain. Ed.]

markerProbably for the best
Companies which go on virtue-flagging diversity drives are missing out on the best minority candidates because they feel they will be tarred with the brush of tokenism and no one will value them.
   The flag-waving also alienates the best white employees. As a result, the company ends up missing out on the brightest & the best. A fine example of commercial evolutionary forces in action.

Far Queue symbol Foreign comic K. Ryan is waving virtue flags ‘coz she told off a bloke for being a sexual predator. Nor from personal Xperience, of course. Just from hearsay. Kreepy, or what!
reader comment“The new fairness—there ain't none if wimmin are involved.” Hazi Tate

Far Queue symbol The TSSA trade union's bosses are being outed as a nest of vile gropers & cover-up merchants who think the rules & decency don't apply to them and disgusting behaviour rulz & is okay.

FrankenFoodShockHorror Desperate Dan has been right all along. Cow pie is best for you and a vegan/plant-based diet is inadequate for a ‘uman bean. Worse, global warmage fraudsters have been lying about the relative greenhouse emissions from livestock farms and the transport sector.
   F'rinstance, for the Untied States, livestock farming accounts for 4% of the country's total emissions but it's nearly 30% for transport. The GWF are pretending it's the other way around. Which is decidedly Kreepy.
Bonquers Similarly, a Bremoaner think tank is being accused of inventing the sum of £11 BILLION so that the tank could accuse the Chancellor and the Treasury of wasting the non-existent cash. Wot rotters they are.

Far Queue symbol An overpriced ice cream brand is seeking to ingratiate itself with the anti-Britisch wonks who are trying to prevent migrants from being deported to Rwanda. Woke is no joke.

baseball hat The new Chief Inspector of Constabulary seems to be a lone voice in the wilderness if he Xpects senior coppers to bin wokery and the less senior ones @ the sharp end to bust drug users & dealers, and make an effort to catch other types of criminal.

cross symbol The EFU & the USA have been accused of putting the Good Friday Agreement on life support & encouraging the IRA to start making bombs again.

bulletQ: Are we impressed by Labour MPs we've never heard of saying they want the railways on strike?
bulletA: Nah, it's just wot they do.

bulletQ: Are we impressed by union bosses lying about pay rises & bonuses by claiming their members got none when lotz of them did?
bulletA: See the previous answer.

Kreepy's Roboteyes Deputy A. Robot of the looney Labour party is trying hard to avoid smacking Sirb Eery Steamer round the back of the head ‘coz of his failure to pretend to be bovvered when he confects outrage about something or other.
reader comment“Pity she can't persuade him to avoid being vindictive as well as a lying hypocrite.” Mick Rofone

bonehead The Church of England's bosses are worried that some of its members are not taking seriously their claim that the institution is institutionally rachelist and failing to get the message that Ghod must want the climate to change or it wouldn't be happening.
   The Bish of Edmonton is reported to be particularly worried about the lack of rachelism.
[Edmonton? Isn't that in Alberta, Canada? Home of the Edmonton Antlers? Ed.]

bulletQ: Is it reasonable to apply forensic science standards to the deaths in the plays wot Wm. Shakespeare wrote?
bulletA: It's just publicity seeking by the Xpert who did it and achieves nowt at all useful.

rage A dentist has taken the sensible course of action of declining customers who weight 20 stones (127 kg) or more to avoid having to clear up the wreckage after surgery furniture collapses under the excessive load.
   The practitioner in E. Sussex has had to fork out for 2 replacement chairs @ 20 grand a pop with no danger of the wrecker coughing up the cash.

UK flag The Shirk @ Home ‘culture' has created gangs of drink & drug addicts—something else for the NHS to cope with.

US flagmarkerBeginning to see the light
The inmates of the state of California [and what a state it's in! Ed.] are finally starting to realize that in their woke drug haze, they have allowed their cities to become lawless slums full of deadbeats.
   Sorting out the mess is Xpected to keep those charged with doing it in gainful employment until at least 2039.
   Other places where the same problems exist, especially New York, have yet to wake up and smell the cess.

WTFH A Gooble software bod has been put on administrative leave for labouring under the delusion that their AI version of HAL 9000 is alive.

tongue manDon’t you just wish . . .
"Mr. Speaker, we have been driven to the conclusion that nothing we ever do, no matter how wonderful and beneficial to the nation, will ever receive the approval of the party opposite. And therefore we have resolved to stop pretending to take any notice of its malcontented members."

markerHottest day ever? Not up North in Romiley, it weren't. Especially with that wind taking the edge off things and the clouds that socked in @ teatime.

Kerching!McDonuts has reopened with a new owner, a new name and a smaller range in Moscovicious after being sold off. Chizboorgers rule again.

bulletToday's Question:
Naffs or CrApps—which do you prefer?

CFL logoTNF and a first look at the T’ronno Airgoes
Sending the visiting Als 2 & out was a good start. An end zone pick of the home team's opener wasn't. But the pick was cancelled on review and the TA got a FG. The Als hit the end zone after a pass was tipped to them, but their guy was ruled down by contact on review. FG and 3-all.
   It was 3-4 going into Q2 and the TA got another rouge after 9 minutes, 3-5. The Alouettes kicked a FG then did nothing with a pick. The Argos scored two quick FGs, the second from a pick which left 1 second on the clock after the play. 6-11 at half time.
   Wow! A TD for Speedy B to open Q3, 6-18. The Als got to & goal but just a FG. A bad FG miss gave the Argos a point. Bede missed again in Q4 after the Als had made a FG, 12-20. The Als barged into the end zone after 10 minutes, no +2, 18-20, 37 seconds to go. The Als got to the TA 13 but Côté's FG try missed dreadfully! 19-20 final. Phew, Gov!

Z marker The anonymous ECHR judge who derailed this week's Rwanda export of migrants is suspected of being Russian, or in their pocket, and that's why the Euro court deployed a fog of secrecy.

No surprise that a recent opinion poll has found that President Boris is still seen as a better leader for the nation than Sirb Eery Steamer. The customers like a leader with a personality and some contact with reality. Things not on offer from the biery one.

Far Queue symbol Predictably, the Confederation of Bremoaner Idiots (CBI) has joined Team EFU, which is trying to prevent free trade between the UK mainland and Northern Ireland.
first class stampreader comment“Will the trade-warring EFU ever get that if we're not in it, their rulz don't apply to us? Slushtag ^TooDim2GetIt” Trigger Treat
reader comment“How can we have reached a new low point in our relations with the Irish government, as it is claiming, when they have been stuck at rock bottom for . . . ever? Slushtag ^NotOurMates” Nokan Dhu
reader comment“If the EFU has been stalling over the NI Protocol for 18 months, it's high time to bin the bastards.” Bombda Fukoota

bulletQ: How does tony b. liar get into the Order of the Garter?
bulletA: With an armed escort to keep the outraged citizenry at bay.

A leak is not necessarily unattributed
Rather Kreepily, Prince Chuck thinks Rwanda is an appalling place to send economic migrants but he has no problem with going on a jaunt there to rubber chicken the heads of government of other Commonwealth countries. George Orwell's concept of double think still rulz UK.

bulletCute answer to an exam question No. 449:
Q: Who was the last king of England?
A: George the V1, the doodlebug king.

Far Queue symbol ++ Archy Bish of Cantab blasted as immoral & irrelevant ++ Clearly on side of people-trafficking criminals ++ Has he no moral compass? ++

right eyemarker Sirb Eery Steamer is being investigated for multiple failures to declare freebies & book royalties as Xternal income as well as work done for donors who were kept anonymous.
reader comment“But since when have members of the legal trade been subject to the laws that they yammer on about when accusing someone else of something they've done?” Chael See
reader comment“Do we really need a Commons standards commissioner if she never gives the likes of Sirk Reepy a slap on the wrist, never mind the smack in the gob he deserves for being so smugly hippocritical?” Cisco Alpaq
reader comment“Who's going to buy a book written by him? Other than a masochist.” Ban D'Age
[How about a chronic insomniac? Ed.]

markerMore yah-boo legality
A judge has more or less confirmed that it's okay for a leftie journalist to slag off a Tory party supporter as long as she claims she thinks what she says is true despite having no confirmatory evidence what so ever.
   No wonder the legal trade is held in such low esteem.

Week 9
Demolition Derby in Canada
   The instruction for this race on a constricted street course was to get stuck in with one-time bonus points on offer.
   The wall on the run to the finish line had claimed 7 cars @ the half-way point and the spectators were wondering if there would be enough finishers to hoover up all of the points. But with the series leaders all crashed out in the final stages, it became a case of who cares who wins?

UK flagPresident Boris has upset the people making money out of the slimming industry by revealing that the best way to lose weight is to eat less—something that worked for him rather well.

CFL logoFNF in the nation’s capital
Lots of defence in the first quarter. The RedBlacks managed a FG and had the next try blown wide right by the gusting wind and returned. It was raining into Q2; well, we are in Ottawa. Bucketing down. The Blue Bombers got a rouge from a punt, the RBs kicked another FG, 1-6. Another in the 14th minute, 1-9. The Bombers finished the half with a TD but not +2, 7-9.
   The Bombers went ahead with FGs in Q3 and sacked the RBs to a FG. 13-12 going into Q4. The Bombers scored a TD after 10 minutes but missed the convert. 19-12. They sent the RBs out on downs with 1:50 left. The Bombers had to punt but a roughing the kicker penalty gave them a first down & blew the small chance of a home team win.

Kreepy Kneebaseball hat Sirk Reepy Steamer has been spotted visiting the premises of a well-known furniture manufacturer to buy more cupboards to house his rapidly Xpanding collection of skeletons.
reader comment“Vindictive, lying, hypocritical, shameless, pompous . . . he's going to have to buy a new adjective pouch for that growing collection.” Pseud O'Nym
reader comment“You forgot boring.” Al Banian

markerYes, we have been here before
Is the Britisch economy diving into a bottomless Brown Hole? Or are we hearing from the wrong sort of self-styled Xpert? When the Chinese plague arrived, the Doctors of Doombuggery were predicting an action replay of the Black Death and the streets littered with corpses.
   Didn't happen.
   Which makes it all the more likely that we're hearing from the Economists of the Doombuggery Tendency, who don't kno what they're talking about and who are just making guesses based on dodgy computer models—just like the doctors & professors—and things are really going to be okay . . . ish.

Revealed The BBC, which has no money according to the bosses, can still manage to blow millions & millions on pointless tarting up of the studios of its news operation. No wonder it's known as the Bollocks Broadcasting Company if it Xpects to get away with stuff like that.

first class stampreader comment“Does Prince Chuck have special shoes to wear for when he's putting his foot in it?” Roger Swell
reader comment“And a special minion to keep them shinily polished and fragrant?” Hav Atthee

reader comment“Why should we be bovvered if BitCoin and other types of imaginary money collapse? They were never real in the first place.” Mik Groaning

cake in a boxZ in a boxbulletToday's Question:
Which would you rather have in a box,
a Z or a 9" American apple cake that's loaded with dates & sultanas?

UK flag President Boris is swithering over the need to replace his ethics advisor if the sort of person who cops for the job is likely to be not too connected to the real world and prone to throwing a hissy fit.
reader comment“Where was the ethics advisor when t.b. liar and his mate Campbell were lying to get a war started?” Rain Monsoon
reader comment“Or when Gordon F. Broon was wrecking the economy and letting the banks go bust and need a MONSTROUS bail-out from the taxpayer? Which has never been repaid.” Prak Tickle
reader comment“Geidt doesn't seem to have had much contact with the real world during his gilded existence, and he has managed to acquire some dodgy mates.” Yurex Tinct
reader comment“Someone who claims there are legitimate questions but fails to go looking for answers is a bit of a chocolate teapot.” Tran Spicacious
reader comment“Next stop for him a TV show called The Only Way Is Ethics on Channel 4?” Frei Degg

bulletQ: How scared should we be of machines with a mind of their own?
bulletA: Not very if they are kept in boxes & lack mobility, and are not connected to systems that can attack us.

CFL logoSNF #1: the Stamps in Hamilton
They say no lead is safe in the CFL. The Tiger-Cats were 3-24 up at half time against the Calgary Stampeders. And then the wheels came off. The home team was still 10-24 up at the beginning of the 4th quarter. It was 27-30 with 1:19 left.
   No surprise that the Stamps managed a FG for 30-all and we were back where we were last December at the Grey Cup final. Overtime, a FG for the Stamps (rather than the Blue Bombers) and a pass by Evans bounced off the receiver to the Stamps. 33-30 and The End again, and no cigar again for the TiCats.

bullet The NHS in Scotland is complaining that there are not enough eunuchs around for them to be patronized with genderization.

reader comment“I see that Sirb Eery is ordering his shadow minions to stop telling the meeja that he's boring as a distraction from the lying hypocrite thing. The nation waits in eager anticipation for the next distraction.” Two Alley Dan

bonehead The British International Educational Association is chuffed because it has made families have internal arguments because some members have fallen for the ‘Save The Planet' Delusions, which are all about letting the government off the hook for failing to provide reliable & affordable energy rather than anything useful.

submarinemarkerTrail-fizzler, not blazer
A female naval officer, who was once tipped as the first ever female submarine captain in the making, has been sacked for boneheaded breaches of security. Which just goes to show how much the tipsters kno.

Edmonton Antlers helmetSNF #2: the Riders in Edmonton
It was pretty much defence dominating in the first half. At 6-0 down, the Antlers missed a FG, the ball was returned in an attempt to deprive them of a point and fumbled back to the Ants!! Which gave them a go-ahead TD via an amazing catch by Lawler and 6-7. But with 2 minutes left in the half, the Riders went 12-7 up at the break with a TD but no +2.
   FGs put the Ants 12-13 ahead going into Q4. The teams exchanged FGs then the Riders struck with a TD & +2, 23-16. The visitors had another FG chance but missed, but the Ants couldn't manage any more scoring.
   Bring back the Eskimos!

Z markerWho put the ‘e’ and the ‘d’ into Geidt?
One resignation letter of justification is bad enuff, but two of them? Methinks he doth protest too much and he doesn't get that a dignified silence can be more eloquent that yards of complaining Xplanations.

markerDeportation Maniacs
The Home Office is being accused of causing the GP crisis by chucking newly qualified foreign doctors out of the country after the taxpayer has blown £50K/head/year on training them.

Far Queue symbol Looney leftie newsperson R. Peston claims that he has tried to practise impartial journalism all his professional life. That he hasn't managed it makes him one of our the biggest national failures. Not that he's bovvered if the mugs @ ITV are prepared to shower him with loot.
reader comment“What did he say? He's enjoyed displaying pomposity & hypocrisy during that career? Obviously!” Barry Kobammer

cross symbol The BBC is claiming that the UK government's disputes with the EFU will encourage Putrid the Poisoner to invade the rest of the world.
   It's definitely the Bollocks Broadcasting Cult of the Year.
reader comment“Is the BBC's M. Hussein any relation to Saddam?” Mann Churia

Wee Burney Sturgeon Wee Burney Sturgeon will be holding a vote on breaking up the UK in 2023. As only she will be allowed to cast a ballot, the outcome is in no doubt. Which makes the whole Xercise 100% pointless. How very SNP.
meanwhile An SNP MP who sexually harassed a junior member of the staff @ the Commons has been banned from the joint
[Savage, or what! Ed.]
bulletP. Grady's ‘offence' took place in 2016. Only 6 years ago. Never mind slowly, the wheels do not even pretend to grind.

reader comment“Sir L. Henry is distressed by the lack of black visages in pictures of the crowds @ outdoor music festivals. So what is he advocating? That a gang of them should be rounded up @ gunpoint and taken on a forced march to Glastonbury (if the railways are on strike) to make him feel better?” Anew Heal

rat'sreader comment“The EFU doesn't give a rat's arse about Northern Ireland. It just wants to mess us about as a punishment for daring to leave.” Robby Nood

reader comment“Prince Chuck is entitled to have his opinions but his Mam needs to remind him that Proper Royals are seen but not heard.” Agnew Wheel

Far Queue symbolThe Pope is having to deny being on Team Putrid after claiming, without the benefit of evidence, that the Poisoner may have been provoked into his illegal attack on Ukraine.

markerHousing Sec. M. Gove wants to turn having a pet into a ‘uman bluddy right for people who rent.
reader comment“Tenants might have have a legal duty to make good any damage but if they do a runner, that's the landlord screwed. Who picks up the pieces then?” Dick Tater

Sirk Reepybullet Sirk Reepy Steamer is now believed to be rehearsing for a new career as a stand-up comic. He is Xpected to have about as much success as he's enjoying in his current job. Not that he's likely to notice the lack of appreciation as he doesn't really do the real world.

Far Queue symbol An Irish politician was claiming the Northern Ireland trade problems the UK is having with the EFU can be solved with some goodwill. Which kind of ignores that there is zero of this quality on the EFU side.

rain manBelow the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition. Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium.
© RAL, June MM22 like anyone cares.