FROM THE PAGES OF From #1 WINTER 1954 "...NOW & THEN promises to be good fun. One small suggestion: The Romiley Fan Veterans and Scottish Dancing Society is a clumsy name. Why not shorten it to the Romiley Fan Dancing Society?" From #2 SPRING 1955 SCHNERDLITES proudly and fearlessly exposes some of the shocking goings-on behind the fannish scene. You will remember that in the last issue I told Harry Turner that the Romiley Fan Veterans and Scottish Dancing Society was a helluva name for a society and why not shorten it to the Romiley Fan Dancing Society? Little did I know that such an organisation already existed, and a coupla days after publication came an envelope through my letter box, and there, to my amazed gaze, was a printed card which said: "This is to certify that Nigel Lindsay has been elected an Honorary Member (Number One) of the ROMILEY FAN DANCING SOCIETY and is entitled to all rights and privileges of membership." Naturally I wrote straight back gratefully accepting the election, and querying one point. What, I wanted to know were my rights and privileges, just in case I was ever round that way and wanted to call in to demand them. Meanwhile I got this letter from Harry Turner: Oh Nigel ! You mad fool, you ! Fancy invoking the name of the Romiley Fan Dancing Society.... For months we have been trying to hush up the subversive fanarchist activities of this fake-fan organisation and here you are encouraging Them to come out in the open. Of course, for all I know they have already enrolled you as a member of their dastardly plots to rock fandom with internal strife. It may be too late. But if they have not already got you in their clutches, I beseech you to resist their advances. Sly they are, sly and patient until they have you involved and committed to carrying out their dastardly nihilistic commands, if you are a marked man, go – go right out of fandom, seek what happiness you can from the Little Woman who is waiting to snatch you from harm. Seek solace in snogging; abandon the mad scheme of the ConVacatton – you attract the anti-social f anarchists there, and I shudder to think of the results if they get to work on fans who have been couped up together for a whole week or more... Ah well, I tried to warn you.    The gen-u-ine organisation may have a long name but since I fan but don't venture into the Scottish Dancing sessions and Mrs. Turner doesn't fan but devotes herself to Scottish Dancing, and we both have to live under one roof to look after the children, what else could we call it?" Of course I had to explain to Harry that it was already too late. Gladly would I get out of fandom but alas, I'd just had some special stationery printed and would have to wait until I'd used it all up. Meanwhile I would be his spy. I haven't heard from Harry since.

Sole © RFV&SDS, 2009.