Green GarbageGreen Garbage Crazy!

Back in the good old days of the early 20th Century, people used to put garbage in their dustbins and the dustmen used to come round, take the bins to the refuse removal vehicle, leaving a token trail along their way, bring the bins back and even bolt the gate if they were in a good mood.
   Then the wheely bin and the black plastic garbage bag were invented and householders were required to present their refuse at the kerbside for collection. Next came recycling.

Trying to look good in Europe, Macclesfield Borough Council has gone in for Green Refuse Management in a big way -- and created one hell of a mess in the process. Houses built with a space just large enough for one wheely bin now find themselves having to cope with:

  • A conventional wheely bin for general household refuse;
  • a green wheely bin for garden refuse;
  • a container for aluminium cans and other metal items;
  • a container for glass bottles;
  • a container for plastic items; and
  • a blue bag for newspapers and other paper items.

The council does not yet supply super-massive boxes for old mattresses, cookers, fridges, etc. -- but that development could just be a matter of time. As the refuse collection and storage space has increased dramatically, collections of Green Refuse are now made fortnightly instead of once-a-week, and the containers are subject to the attentions of vandals and animals.
   Sociologist from universities all over the country now walking up and down the roads of Macclesfield, making notes on the lifestyles of the residents based on their chuck-outs.

The "Garbage In The Borough" exhibit cause by debris spilling from containers has now been entered for the Turner Prize.

There is no evidence yet to support the allegations that people from Manchester, who have to pay £50 for a replacement wheely bin, are nicking them from the residents of Tytherington and other Macclesfield districts - not just for their own use but to sell on to their neighbours.
   It is expected that people will find that they have to lock up their handy containers for bottles, etc. because people will decide that they are useful and stroll off with them, leaving the householder having to pay £10 to the council for a replacement.

The consequences of Macclesfield's Green Refuse Management Plan have been:

  • Lots more fly-tipping;
  • Bin Rage stories in the papers and on TV;
  • Recycling Rage stories ditto as a consequence of kids and other malicious people sneaking round to jumble sorted "free" refuse; and
  • Greater scope for politicians to lie about what a great job they're doing to tackle the National Refuse Mountain.

When old ladies in their Zimmer frames, and the sick and disabled calling from their beds, protest that Macclesfield's approach to Green Garbology is totally impractical, they are told: "Try it because you'll get to like it in the end."

Good idea, terrible execution, total shambles as a result.
0/10, not trying hard enough.

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