 | Take your best shot:
I'm bloody fireproof! |
The prime minister has given up apologies. He has drawn a line under his blunders, he has developed False Memory Syndrome about what really happened and he expects his customers to do the same and move on. And if they can't; tough! His grovelling days are done.
So he definitely won't be apologizing for the following Millennium Masterpieces:-
 The Earth Centre, Doncaster, which cost £500million and was described as 'the United Kingdom's first landmark Millennium attraction' when it was opened in in 1999 and 'as exciting as the Millennium Dome'. It had a visitor target of 500,000 per year but attracted only 30,000 visitors in its first 3 months and 6,000 visitors during the 3-month summer season in 2000. After revamping, it achieved a maximum visitor rate of 120,000 per year and it was closed in September 2004 when its losses became unsustainable.
The Millennium Dome, Greenwich, London, which cost £800million, closed before the 3rd millennium started and failed to get half-way to its visitor target of 12 million in 12 months.
The National Centre for Popular Music, Sheffield, which cost £15million, was closed in July 2000 after less than 18 months and achieved 20% of its visitor target of 400,000 per year.
The Centre for Visual Arts, Cardiff, Wales, which cost £9million and was closed after 11 months having received 47,000 visitors when the annual target was 250,000-300,000 visitors.
The Dovecot Arts Centre, Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland, which cost £9.5million, exceeded its visitor target but was closed in November 2001 after 2 years because it could not sustain its high running costs.
He will also definitely NOT be apologizing for:-
Starting the 2003 Iraq War, which was all the fault of Bush, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Straw, Hoon, Campbell and all the others who had a hand in manufacturing the 'evidence' of Weapons of Mass Destruction and rewriting 'intelligence' information from the likes of embezzler Ahmad Chalatti. They, and they alone, are responsible for the deaths of Dr. David Kelly and hundreds of soldiers and civilians from the UK, the USA, Iraq and all sorts of other countries. Alternatively:
Going to war in Iraq on the basis of wrong information, deliberately distorting that information and covering up its lack of accuracy.
Ignorance about the spy-stuff which justified the 2003 Iraq War. In particular, he denies knowing that this spy-stuff had been binned by MI6 as unreliable one month before the August 2002 Hutton Inquiry. Which means that he did not know that John Scarlett, the head of the Joint Intelligence Committee, and Richard Dearlove, then head of MI6, neglected to tell Lord Hutton about the binning operation. No one told the prime monster about the binning until February, 2004.
Using the votes of Scottish MPs to push through the bill to establish foundation hospitals in England in the teeth of a revolt by his English MPs.
Expecting Parliament to believe that he gave Mr. Smith of the Tory Party a preview of his dodgy dossier information.
Giving a peerage to Paul Drayson, who gave New Labour 2 bungs of £50K (which yielded a profit for his company of £20million) and another of huge bung after his peerage came through.
Banning foxhunting as a distraction from inconvenient questions about his illegal war in Iraq.
Pretending the European Constitution is just an exercise in tidying up, vowing that there will never be a referendum on it and pretending the UK will be expelled from the European Union if we reject the constitution.
Triumphalism after the Butler whitewash was published.
Insisting on postal-only voting in 4 regions for the June 2004 local and European elections as a means of making election fraud easier and boosting the Labour vote. Not to mention going ahead with a similar scheme for the referendum on a local assembly for the North-East.
UKeU, the government's online university, which was closed down in June 2004 after wasting £62million of taxpayers' cash. Its architects predicted that it would attract hundreds of thousands of customers but just 900 actually signed on. Worse, the people running the UKeU all received fat bonuses in line with New Labour's culture of rewarding failure.
Continuing to sack whistle-blowers who expose the likes of serial abuse of the visa system for foreign immigration and government lies about the true asylum seeker situation.
Making a total bog of the education system and then saddling the nation with more schemes which will make things even worse.
Promising to reduce teenage truancy by one-third and then implementing policies which increased the problem by 10%.
Not having a political plan for Iraq after the war phase and ignoring warnings of chaos of post-war in Iraq and the danger of petty, regional dictators springing up to take Saddam Hussein's place.
Turning Iraq from an oppressive, Al Qaida-free dictatorship to a safe haven for every terrorist on the planet. The prime minister sees nothing wrong with re-writing the pre-war script in the light of further information and claiming that the object of the war was to get rid of Saddam Hussein rather than to protect the West from his thousands of Weapons of Mass Destruction, for which incontrovertible proof of their existence existed, if only in the prime minister's fertile imagination.
Padding the audience for the leader's speech to the Labour party conference with stooges on the Downing Street payroll so that Labour party photographers would be able to snap someone clapping.
Promising to turn the UK into an 'Opportunistic Society' in his speech to the Labour party conference.
 
| 
The Prime Monster has had a makeover during the summer of 2004. Reinvigorated by his freebie holiday, he has been transformed from Tony B. Liar into a new personality – Smug Bugger!
