2008b
"If they make lying and willful incompetence Olympic sports, then TEAMgb will be right up there on the rostrum with the big boys in 2012 – which is probably what the London games will end up costing; £20.12 billion. Here are some of the disasters along the way . . ."

December 2008 BROWN'S BRITAIN The latest BIG IDEA to come out of the Home Office is to farm out to a private company, the job of storing details of all phone calls, emails and text messages to and from British accounts. And to make sure that the data isn't lost, the government will pass a new law making it illegal to lose this data. OUR MONEY The government is wasting more taxpayers' cash on a website to let people post comments about their GP. Brown's spin doctors think that while people are focussed on their doctor, they won't be thinking about the mess New Labour has made of the NHS (3 costly major reorganizations which took it round in a circle) and Labour's lack of solutions for the problems of the NHS and the rest of the public sector. BROWN'S BRITAIN In the last year, the pound has lost one-quarter of its value against the euro and it is likely to lose even more value because foreign government's have no confidence in Gordon Brown's recipe for digging the country out of the Brown Slump – namely more reckless borrowing to fund even more reckless spending.   • In July to September of 2008, the public sector GREW by 14,000 staff*** and the wealth-creating private sector SHRANK by 128,000 jobs.    ***including non-jobs like Climate Change Manager (£38K/year); Street Football Co-ordinator (£20K/year); Community Space Challenge Co-ordinator (£34K/year) and Equality & Diversity Manager (£38K/year). OUR MONEY Government departments have spent well over £320,000 of taxpayers' cash on flat-screen TVs, DVD players, stereo equipment and other electronic toys in the last few years. The worst known offenders were the Department of Business (prop. Lord Mandelson of Sleaze) and the Treasury (prop. Alastair "him with the eybrows" Darling). Some departments, including the prime minister's office, refused to reveal how much they spent. Which provides further proof of Gordon Brown's recklessly casual attitude to money extracted from the taxpayers. REALITY BITES The wheels are coming off the government's plans to cover Britain in wind farms. Planning delays are dragging on for years, and the longer the process takes, the higher the prices charged by the suppliers of wind turbines rise and the more uneconomical power generated by the tubines becomes. MORAL CORRUPTION The Church of England has given up on New Labour. Five senior bishops have blown the gaff on Gordon Brown & Co. – their party is 'morally corrupt' and 'beguilded with money', according to the bishops. So what else is new? "A Culture of Carelessness" Eight computers per week have been lost by Whitehall staff or stolen from government offices since 2002 in a ratio of roughly 2 laptops per desktop. The Ministry of Defence is the worst offender, closely followed by the Dept. of Work & Pensions. Which rather makes a mockery of the government's claims that it can keep our data secure. Another worthless government pledge The staff of the House of Commons library have calculated that the government's points system for immigration, if applied without limits for the various categories, WON'T prevent Britain's population from ballooning from the present 61 million to over 71 million by 2031. Obviously, a new Brown definition of TOUGH Just before he stepped into the prime ministerial boots, Gordon Brown promised to be tough with foreign criminals and deport the lot of them. But the Brown Reality, as revealed this month, is that: 1. Lots of them are allowed to stay here when they get out of gaol 2. Lots of them can't be deported under EU law and the Human Rights Act 3. Lots of them get out of gaol early, cop for compensation for being deprived of free board & lodging at the expense of the British taxpayer, aren't deported and end up on benefits paid for by the British taxpayer. SOFT ON CRIME Britain's police forces are ignoring 40% of all crimes. Someone 'screens' each new case, decides if will help the local plods to meet targets set by the Home Office, and dumps the case in the 'file & forget' basket if it looks at all difficult. Labour's social engineering Increased benefits for poor young women have resulted in 45,000 extra births per year by women who see profit in pregnancy. In contrast, Gordon Brown's tax assaults on the wealth-creating middle classes has resulted in a drop in their birth rate. Another dirty deal? The government has sold the Atomic Weapons Establishment @ Aldermaston, which manages Britain's nuclear deterrent, to an American firm. There was no announcement in Parliament and the place has probably been flogged off at a knock-down price because this is exactly the wrong time to sell anything so major. Tax & Burn The Sec. Gen of OPEC has put the boot in to Gordon Brown over fuel prices. If Gordon is realling interested in looking after his people, Mr. Abdullah al-Badri reckons, then he should be cutting the highest fuel taxes in Europe, not raking in tons of tax and moaning at OPEC. A Brown Fantasy Gordon Brown would like us to believe that Britain's debt is 44% of the Gross National Product when the real figure is about 160%. No Iraq Inquiry Gordon Brown has chickened out of a Commons inquiry into how the 2003 Iraq war was started by Tony Blair & George Bush, which suggests that he has as much to hide as Blair, Lord Goldsmith, Alastair Campbell and the rest of the conspirators.    In the meantime, Brown, who was one of the main contributors to making the illegal war possible, is trying to portray himself as the saviour of the Iraqi nation and the hero who ended the war. Labour Democracy The Home Sec. has been forced to drop her plan to have members elected directly to local police authorities because Labour councillors are worried about dilution of their political influence over their local police 'service'. OUR MONEY Lord Mandelson of Sleaze is trying to prop up Jaguar-Land Rover, which is now owned by an Indian zillionaire, with British taxpayers' cash. Is this another scandal in the making, like the affair of the Hinduja brothers' passports? OUR MONEY The government has wasted £250,000 of taxpayers' cash on gaoling a illegal migrant from Morocco, who keeps trying to stow away on a ship to go home. The judge for his latest court appearance has promised to bang heads together at the Home Office, which has been responsible for keeping the guy in gaol of the last 3 years. Broken Promises Having ditched the promise in the 2005 Labour election manifesto of a referendum on the EU constitution, Gordon Brown (with his best buddy Lord Sleaze of Mandelson) is quite happy to ditch another bit of the manifesto with a part-privatization of the Royal Mail. OUR MONEY The Department of Transport has turned a scheme to save £57 million into a waste of £81 million of taxpayers' cash with another computer system that doesn't work at its Swansea office. OUR MONEY The government has overpaid £100 million on gold-plated, public sector pensions by making a total bog of the payments for years. New Labour logic, don't you just love it! Gordon Brown broke the British economy with his decade-plus of reckless spending and reckless borrowing, now he's saying he's the right bloke to fix it with even more reckless spending of other people's money and even more reckless borrowing.    Jack Straw wished the Human Rights Act on us, now he's saying he's the right bloke to fix the Villains' Charter, which is what the courts have turned the HRA into. "Not me, Gov!" Dr. K. Boston has resigned from his job as the head of the Qualifications & Curriculum Authority because of this summer's fiasco over (not) marking the Standard Assessment Tests. E. Balls, the minister who presided over the whole mess, has no plans to resign over his neglect of duty. As we say, not as we do The government put D. Blunkett's former free digs up for sale without the benefit of a Home Information Pack. In fact, the HIP wasn't produced for a month – something about which Housing Minister M. Bucket has been moaning recently. Everyone else should have a HIP ready on the day the premises are offered for sale, she reckons.   • The governent is also not bothering with Home Condition Reports when it flogs off buildings. HCRs are voluntary at the moment, but Mrs. Bucket expects everyone else to get them, and she's making them compulsory in 2009. OUR MONEY Justice Minister J. Straw has blown £130 million on doing up his office building, paying a refurbishment rate which is 18 times greater than the standard rate in the public sector. But hey! It's only taxpayers' cash. More Spin & Lies The Home Sec., J. Smith, is in trouble (1.) for boasting about cutting knife crime while being unable to produce any proof, and (2.) issuing selected parts of statistics with intent to mislead.    UPDATE Ms Smith has been forced to apologize for lying via her selected dodgy data.    The Prime Minister is also catching some of the flak for ordering the Home Office, against the advice of the UK Statistics Authority, the government's own experts, to publish dodgy statistics for spin purposes. Following complaints, Parliament is going to investigate how and why the unchecked figures were published. More Spin & Lies The Ministry of Defence says it's 'right' to delay building 2 new aircraft carriers for the Royal Navy for 2 years (because the cash isn't there) because the aircraft for them won't be ready until the new completion date. If that's so, what were the 2 aircraft carriers supposed to do after their original completion date? Park somewhere and rust for 2 years until the aircraft were ready? The Germans aren't impressed! All Gordon Brown's 'crass Keynesianism' will achieve is to raise Britain's debt to a level which will take a generation to work off.   – Peer Steinbrück, German finance minister The tremendous weight of debt being run up by Gordon Brown shows 'a complete failure of Labour policy'.   – Steffan Kampeter, economic advisor to the German Kanzler Delusional The Brown government is going to reform the welfare system – which is exactly what Tony Blair promised (but failed) to do back in 1997. No doubt Mr. Brown will have exactly the same level of success. Another Failure The government has given up on trying to evict bogus asylum seekers. The new policy is just to approve the backlog of applications and give them a back-door amnesty, which will benefit 180,000 people who have no right to be in Britain. Labour kills off green shoots of housing market rally Housing Minister M. Bucket has so little useful to do that she has decided to make the rules and content of Home Information Packs tighter and messier – just when the housing market is starting to show faint signs of reviving. Truth, justice & the British way of life? Sometime Labour deputy leadership hopeful Peter Hain is to get away with negligent accounting and flagrant breach of the rules over his extravagent, and highly unsuccessful, campaign. He only forgot to mention £100,000, after all. BROWN'S BRITAIN Gordon Brown has managed to give people living on their savings the worst of both worlds – inflation at 4.5% and derisory rates of interest. Another Brown Bubble Gordon Brown's latest headline-grabbing announcement is just smoke. Nothing much has been worked out and nailed down with regard to his safety net for mortgage payers who suffer a sudden income loss, and the premature announcement was all about PR for Brown while his Home Sec. was being shamed over the arrest of Damian Green, the Shadow Immigration Minister, on trumped-up terrorism charges. "Not me, gov." The Commons' Speaker (Labour) pleaded ignorance to everything to do with letting the police search an MP's office, and dumped the blame for not finding out that the police didn't have a warrant squarely on an underling; appointed by him – Ms (Soon to be suspended on full?) Pay, the Sergeant at Arms. MORE LIES Some clown in the Cabinet Office told the police that national security was threatened by the embarrassing leaks from the Home Office to justify the terrorist raids on Damain Green, MP. Another screw-up on the money front 130,000 students/year will not get the student grant promised to them because the government has made a bog of costing the scheme.

November 2008 BROWN'S BRITAIN Home Sec. J. Smith wants to give 'Blunkett Bobby' Police Community Support Officers the power of arrest. Abuse of anti-terrorism laws We are invited to believe that the Permanent Secretary @ the Home Office, Sir D. Normington, got the police to arrest Mr. D. Green and he didn't tell either the Home Sec., J. Smith, or the Prime Minister, G. Brown. Either these two beauties are lying about the extent of their ignorance or they're not doing the jobs they're overpaid to do. Abuse of anti-terrorism laws The arrest of D. Green, MP, the shadow immigration minister, confirms that Sir P. Stephenson, the acting head of the Metropolitan Police, is as useless as Sir I. Blair (no relation) and someone to be sacked at the first opportunity by Mr. B. Johnson, the Mayor of London.    Another candidate for the chop would appear to be the partisan Commons Speaker, M. Martin (Labour), who colluded with an invasion of Mr. Green's office at the Palace of Westminster. BROWN'S BRITAIN Fact: criminals have a better chance of staying out of gaol under New Labour. Only Under New Labour . . . Mark Gilbert, a thief who was marched to a police station by his boss, got away with a caution but the Essex police are charging his boss with false imprisonment. Which will never stick in a Crown Court, so it's an abuse of police powers. BROWN'S BRITAIN Labour promised to improve NHS dentistry but now that the 'new contract' is in force, NHS dentists are treating fewer patients. The police in Labour's pocket? The Labour party has turned the civil service into its creature. The arrest of shadow minister Damian Green is a clear sign that the police have gone the same way. Mr. Green was arrested on the last day in office of the failed Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir I. Blair. The police chose to abuse anti-terrorism laws to trump up their charge, which is clearly revenge for Mr. Green's daring to expose the failings of Home Sec. J. Smith. OUR MONEY Public sector pensions will cost £4 billion in 2009, which is £1 billion more than the Treasury planned for. OUR MONEY The government has a £100,000,000,000 Brown Hole in its planned tax revenues, which means that every single person in the country will have to cough up £1,600 somehow or other. OUR MONEY Labour will freeze tax thresholds in 2011 to grab an extra £180,000,000 in Stealth Taxes through increased fiscal drag. OUR MONEY The cash lost by councils to failed Icelandic banks will be spread over the whole country. Which means that Council Tax bills will be going up by 10% after the next election. BROWN'S COLLEAGUES Alastair Darling, the current chancellor, has shown that he can lie with the best of them. He claims that most of the new jobs created under Labour are in the private sector. This simply isn't true. 1.3 million jobs have been added to the public sector while only 0.9 million have been added to the private sector. Labour has been bloating the public sector deliberately to create a class of people who have to vote Labour to keep their non-jobs. U-TURN Brown's 'flagship' promise of a nursery place for every 2-year-old has been binned quietly and he's hoping no one will notice. BROWN ECONOMICS The Chancellor admitted in his Emergency Budget that the growth forecasts in his previous Budget were sheer fantasy, so he's going to let Gordon Brown spend a lot of money, which the country doesn't have, to make him feel better. Gordon's plan is to create a Brown Hole £1,000,000,000,000 deep by 2013. p.s. The latest set of growth forecasts for 2009 are just as fantastic as the last set. Tax the rich, but not yet The government is planning to raise the top rate of tax to 45% for rich people earning more than £150,000 per annum –.but not until after the next election. Gordon Brown's pathetic excuse for the delay is that there was a pledge not raise the top rate of tax in the last Labour manifesto. Which also included a promise to give us a referendum on the EU constitution. So there goes Gordon's credibility. BROWN ECONOMICS The country is crashing into a recession so the government is going to blow £97 million of taxpayers' cash on building gypsy parking sites all over the country. Govt. getting something right, shock horror? The Home Office is going to try to stop local councils from abusing the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, which is supposed to be aimed at terrorists, to snoop on people suspected of crimes against refuse. But given the Home Office's records of failure after failure, what hope has it got against something as deeply entrenched in New Labour local government culture as the Dustbin Stasi? Immigration Shambles A The prime purpose of the government's immigration policy is to reassure the public (by pretending that the government is in control), according to P. Woolas, the immigration minister. Immigration Shambles B The government claims to deport an illegal migrant every 8 minutes (excluding evenings, weekend and bank holidays). In fact, over half of the 'deportations' are people turned away either at points of entry to the UK or overseas before they get anywhere near Britain. Immigration Shambles C Every year, 300,000 visas are issued to people who aren't entitled to them because staff at embassies & consulates abroad don't make time-consuming checks. Why? Because they have to hit productivity targets so that the government can lie and claim it's doing a good job. Immigration Shambles D The number of asylum applications is up by 15%, the government's eviction rate for boguses is down by 10% and there's a 23-year backlog in the system. BROWN-speak Consensus Politics – The only opinions I'll listen to are ones which agree with mine. You are wrong – You dared to disagree with me. New Labour's Concept of Democracy If the people of Greater Manchester DON'T vote for an unwanted road-pricing scheme in a referendum, they WON'T get £1.5 billion for more trains and other improvements to public transport. So no pressure, then?    p.s. Whatever happened to Gordon Brown's pledge to scrap road pricing after the Downing Street website was deluged with protests? BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon is trying to persuade the Treasury to release falsely optimistic forecasts for the likely state of the economy over the next 5 years. Gordon wants to include a fiddle factor based on co-ordinated tax cuts around the world – tax cuts which exist only in his fevered imagination. OUR MONEY The government is wasting British taxpayers' cash on repatriating Afghan illegal migrants, who were arrested in FRANCE. Another Fine Mess The government has done so much messing about and cutting back at Ofsted that its reports on schools are unreliable and generally pointless because the inspections amount to a day or two every two or three years. A Brown Fantasy World Maybe Gordon Brown will tell us who is responsible for the 30% fall in the value of the pound before George Osbourne said anything? Then again, as it's all his fault, maybe not. Especially while Gordon is hoping to buy popularity with tax cuts before Xmas. BROWN SPIN The Lords Economic Affairs Committee has found that the government's claim that Britain benefits from uncontrolled migration is 'wildly overstated' and totally bogus. The benefit to the nation is next to nothing and the government tries to conceal the £8 billion spent on administering the asylum system, teaching English to migrants and providing them with health care. Labour's immediate reaction to the report was to play the race card. BROWN BRITAIN Despite the vast amounts of cash thrown at the NHS, Britain came 13th in a league table of health care in 31 European countries, near the bottom in cancer survival rates and 17th as far as cost efficiency is concerned. Micro-management by a government not competent to do the job, and over-centralization, are the main problems. PLAIN USELESS After 2 years of dithering, a HUGE waste of cash on an abandoned tendering process and hundreds of unnecessary Post Office closures, the government has decided to let the Post Office extend its contract to pay pensions & benefits. PLAIN USELESS The government has been so successful in its 5-a-day campaign that lots of people are counting cola, chips, spaghetti hoops, Jaffa cakes, orange squash and fruit-flavoured sweets as portions of fruit or vegetables. BROWN BRITAIN In February 2007, Health Minister Patricia Hewitt, junior Health Ministers Rosie Winterton & Ivan Lewis, Culture Minister David Lammy and Dame Denise Platt, head of the Commission for Social Care Inspection, were all warned that Haringey Social Services Dept. was failing to protect children. None of them did anything to prevent the prolonged torture & murder of 'Baby P' (in August 2007) and the only social worker who spoke out about Haringey's failings was suspended from duty. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon Brown still doesn't get it. Britain is in trouble because he recklessly borrowed too much and he and Tony Blair wasted the cash. What we need now is a cut in the size of the government, not more reckless borrowing. OUR MONEY The government's latest BIG IDEA is to pay taxpayer's cash to parents to persuade them force their fat kids to walk to school. They're all at it Justice Sec. J. Straw is in trouble for not declaring hospitality from a firm which is after planning permission for a gas storage site next to his constituency. BROWN BRITAIN Payements at employment tribunals reached a record £32 million in 2007/08, mainly as a result of vexatious claims made possible by New Labour's compensation culture. Vast amounts of cash also disappeared as out-of-court settlements because employers have little confidence of getting a fair hearing. PLAIN USELESS The government has had to dunp the head of the Security Industry Authority, which has overspent by £17,000,000, cleared 7,000 illegal immigrants to work in the security industry and doesn't check its own staff for criminal records and immigration status. Home Sec. J. Smith presided over this further fine mess. Another piece of the Common Law which the government plans to rip up . . . If someone challenges a speeding fine in court and wins, Justice Minister J. Straw has decided that they shouldn't be able to claim their legal costs. Apparently, it's elistist to refuse to pay an unlawful fine, and elitist people shouldn't be entitled to justice under New Labour. OUR MONEY The government has created a Biometric Data Stealth Tax. Anyone who wants a new passport or an ID card will have to pay the government's charge plus a further £30 to the private company which has been contracted to collect the biometric data on the government's behalf. OUR MONEY Under the EU rules wished upon us by New Labour, foreign workers who register as unemployed here can go home and STILL claim the dole from the British taxpayer. BROWN ECONOMICS Black Wednesday, when Chancellor Norman Lamont had to take Britain out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism (1992/09/16) cost the country £3.4 billion. During his Decade of Depravity, Chancellor Gordon Brown sold off one-half of Britain's gold reserves at the Brown Bottom of the market. That piece of financial genius has cost the taxpayer £3.8 billion. U-TURN The government has been laughed at enough to provoke a change of mind on the Red Arrows. They will perform at the 2012 Olympics now, even though they might be too militaristic for the sensibilities of delicate dictators. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon Brown, who made 70% of the pump price of petrol sheer Stealth Tax, wants the oil producing countries to drop their price. Presumably, so he can stick even more tax on fuel while hoping no one notices. REALITY BITES The Cabinet is in the process of putting Gordon's "Bill of Rights & Responsibilities" in a sack and drowning it in a bucket of water as a "Charter For Expensive Lawsuits", woolly and meaningless. REALITY BITES Finally, Gordon Brown has admitted that this useless government is totally unable to protect data of any sort from being lost or stolen. BROWN ECONOMICS While Chancellor, Gordon stole £175 billion from private penson funds with Stealth Taxes to pay the soaring bill for public sector pensions. The average pension pot in the private sector is £25,100, which pays £1,700/year. The average public sector pot is £427,275 worth £17,091/year. PLAIN USELESS Health Sec. A. Johnson's decision to abandon plans to pay private companies to run clinics for testing and treating NHS patients has wasted £20 million, which could have been spent on treating patients, on contract termination and 'wasted bid' costs. BROWN'S BRITAIN Gordon's plan for a Bogus Britishness jamboree were cut off at the knees last year, according to documents released under the Freedom of Information Act. He tried to scrounge £3 million from 15 major companies and all of them refused to put a hand in the corporate pocket. PLAIN USELESS Government Gateway websites have been suspended after an employee of Atos Origin, the firm contracted to run the system, abandoned a data stick in a pub car park. So no online tax returns, driving licence applications, VAT returns, etc., etc., until the security side of the mess has been sorted out. More government lies The Health & Safety Executive would like us to believe that 4,000 people die every year as a result of exposure to asbestos. But there is no clinical evidence to support this bogus statistic. The HSE just makes the number up using a formula containing false and unjustified assumptions. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon's tactics for the Credit Crunch are: 1. Shifting the blame. He says everything is the fault of the Americans while hoping that no one remembers that he fuelled the British unaffordable credit boom; 2. Lying. He is now denying he ever claimed to end 'boom & bust'. He has rewritten the script to make his claim an end to 'Tory boom & bust'. 3. Abandoning the foundation of his economic planning. His Golden Rule on government borrowing has been junked, and Gordon is planning to borrow even more and spend even more. And he's justifying it by claiming he's only following the ideas of John Milton Keynes. Without mentioning that the circumstances under which Keynes put his ideas forward in the 1930s don't apply today.

October 2008 The Foundations of the Brown Economy dynamited Chancellor A. Darling has torn up Gordon Brown's Golden Rule on borrowing – the cornerstone of Brown's reputation for being a safe pair of hands for the nation's cash. When asked for a comment, Mr. D. replied: "Gordon never followed it so I don't see why anyone expects me to take any notice of his stupid rules." BROWN ECONOMICS A £210 million cock-up in calculating the Department of Education's budget will result in students of middle class parents being denied university grants. Asleep at the wheel The Icelandic PM warned Gordon Brown that his banks were in trouble 6 months ago but Brown did nothing to warn private and institutional British depositors. The Bank of England has known there was something dodgy going on in Iceland for 8 months but the Bank, too, did nothing to warn British savers. Life counts for nothing? An SAS commander in Afghanistan has quit and he blames the government's gross negligence for the deaths of members of his unit. The Ministry of Defence has persistently failed to provide properly armoured vehicles, causing the deaths of 34 troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. BROWN'S BRITAIN Britain's rat population is soaring as a direct result of the government's policy of abolishing weekly refuse collections. BROWN'S BRITAIN The Commons Speaker, Gorbals Mick (Labour), has decided to let Tony Blair get away with the lies he told over his part in giving Formula One an exemption from a tobacco advertising ban after meeting Labour-donor Bernie Ecclestone. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon Brown's decade and a bit of reckless borrowing and spending has left Britain in a financial mess with the recession looming. So what's the Brown answer to the problems which he created? Borrow more and spend more. "Won't wash, mate!" Justice Sec. J. Straw is trying to position himself as a champion of victims of crime because focussing on the rights of criminals 'drives him nuts'. But if he feels so strongly about this issue, why has he been sitting on his hands for the last 11 years?    And is this the same J. Straw who, when Home Sec., was slow hand-clapped at the Police Federation conference for letting the number of police officers slump? Who failed to get prisons built? And who presided over the early release from prison of thousands of criminals? EDUCATION, SCHMEDUCATION Ofqual, the new qualifications regulator, has ordered the Assessment & Qualifications Alliance to lower the mark needed for a GCSE pass to massage the pass rate upwards to make the government look better. BROWN ECONOMICS The government is having to pay out £30 billion/year of taxpayers' cash as interest on its borrowings – which is about the defence budget. MORE LIES The Home Office has been cynically under-recording the rate of violent crime for an unknown number of years to assist in the manufacture of favourable statistics and bogus New Labour achievements. The police are getting the blame but given the Home Office's history of lying with numbers, that won't wash. BROWN'S BRITAIN You have to wonder about the priorities of a government which wants to teach kids how to reproduce but can't be bothered teaching them to read, write and count. BONUSES FOR EVERYONE The staff at the National Assessment Agency (except for one individual) will split a quarter of a million quid in bonuses. Lest we forget, the NAA is the quango which presided over this years SATs marking fiasco.    If you were worried about the managers of failed banks not getting bonuses this year, you can stop worrying now. In the absence of profits, the bonuses will be paid out of the taxpayers' cash, which the government thrust into the banks' coffers. EVERYONE'S INNOCENT Nobody can be blamed at the Ministry of Defence for deaths of British service personnel as a result of MoD negligence. Why? Because the MoD's minions shred any documents which could be used to identify the people who made the decisions that led to the deaths. That's the practicality of the New Labour 'no blame' culture. SAME OLD, SAME OLD Back in 1998, Peter Mandelson was sacked for sleaze before he could nationalize the Royal Mail. Now he's back in the Cabinet, the Royal Mail is under threat again. BROWN ECONOMICS The government says the national debt is just £645 billion but, with typical dishonesty, it excludes liabilites such as public sector pensions, PFI projects, the taxpayers' responsibility for the railways and bank nationalizations. Which makes the real figure £1,800 billion, and adding on an extra £500 billion for the bank bail-out brings the individual debt up to £100,000 per household. STEALTH TAX WARNING The reason why Gordon Brown has been trying to frighten the oil companies into reducing the price of petrol & diesel is that he wants to raise the tax on fuel, and he needs a cut in the basic price to make his Stealth Tax less visible. The Woolas Kite When Immigration Minister P. Woolas talked about limiting immigration, the Tories shot him down for being all talk and no substance while Labour's Luddites were allowed to think they'd wellied him into a U-turn for being unkind to the people they hope will vote for them if bribed enough. But the exercise has served the purpose of establishing 70 million as the top whack of the British population. Even though this useless government doesn't know within 5 million, how many people are actually living here. The Price of a Peerage The reason for Peter Mandelson's return to the front line of British politics is now plain. He is taking the blame for the Brown-Blair feud, which paralysed New Labour for 10 years. The implication now is that New Labour's many failures to deliver were nothing to do with Gordon sulking at the Treasury because Blair kept reneging on deals to give him a turn as prime minister. It was all Mandy's fault. And having been paid off with a peerage, power and lots of money, Mandy is willing to the scapegoat. No, they really don't have any decency The government is running an unethical bonus scheme for GPs, under which the doctors are paid NOT to send patients to hospitals for diagnosis and treatment to reduce costs. Another Labour Fiddle The Department of Transport has abandoned its promise to provide 1,300 new carriages to reduce overcrowding on the railways in favour of shifting the goal posts. If the acceptable number of standing passengers is raised from 10% to 30%, the problem is solved with a typical New Labour scam. FINALLY . . . The government has been shamed into clipping the ears of coucil jobsworths, who persecute traders for selling goods in non-metric quantities (pounds, ounces, bowlsful), which isn't illegal under EU law. EDUCATION, SCHMEDUCATION Less than half of all teenagers leave school with 5 basic GCSEs after 11 years of New Labour education policies. Author, Author! Is Gordon Brown the author of the Brown Plan to save the world by giving vast amounts of taxpayers' cash to the banks? Well, only in the sense that Blair stooge John Scarlett was the 'author' of Alastair Campbell's dodgy dossier on Iraq's non-existent weapons of mass destruction. In fact, the Brown Plan was cooked up at the Bank of England and Gordon just stuck his name on it.    Something else stuck on was the bit about bailed-out banks not being allowed to pay dividends to their shareholders, which resulted in shareholders dumping their shares wholesale (as they could expect zero return on them) and a further plunge of the stock market.    Another stuck-on bright idea was Gordon's demand that the banks lend money on the same reckless scale as in 2007 – the very policy which cause the international financial melt-down in the first place.    p.s. The Standard Chartered Bank is also claiming a share of the credit for inventing the Brown Plan, which is leaving less and less over for Gordon. U-TURN Home Sec. J. Smith has been advised that she won't be able to get away with holding inquests in secret on bogus national security grounds, or appointing her own, private coroners, so she has dropped the idea. U-TURN The government has admitted defeat on the Standard Assessment Tests for 14-year-olds. It can't get the exam papers marked in time to fiddle the results and create self-congratulatory statistics, so E. Balls, the Children's Sec. [a.k.a. Education Sec.] has abandoned the exams. U-TURN The Brown government has abandoned its plan to detain suspected terrorists for 42 days without charge after the Lords refused to have anything to do with it, despite having Lord Sleaze of Mandelson thrust into their ranks. Shoving this law though Parliament used to be Gordon's way of demonstrating toughness, but the banking crisis has deflected everyone's attention and the matter may be dropped without damage to the Brown image. Gordon Brown is supposed to be a financial genius, is he? What passes for the British government is lending £100 million to Iceland, a notorious bankrupt and defaulter, to give to British taxpayers who were swindled out of their savings by Icelandic banks. Well, it's only taxpayers' money, isn't it? Cynical, or what! Back in 1997, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown were lying their heads off about what they knew about donations to the Labour party by Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone and Blair's role in getting F1 excluded from a ban on tobacco advertising right after a meeting with Mr. Ecclestone. Then along came a month of fuel protests and they avoided being called to account.    Cut to the present day. Brown has just brought twice disgraced Peter Mandelson, who encouraged Blair to tell his lies, back into the cabinet and Mandy is getting a peerage so the voters can't eject him at a by-election. Then previously secret government documents are release, which prove that Blair & Brown lied. And the news comes out that Mandelson gave trade concessions worth £50 million/year to a Russian billionaire after enjoying hospitality on his yacht. But there's the distraction of a major global banking crisis to make sure that no one is held accountable for the lies of 1997. Just a coincidence? PLAIN USELESS The government has amalgamated the National Consumer Council, Energywatch and Postwatch into one "super watchdog". Anyone who has been ripped off by their energy supplier won't be able to ask the new body for help as it will deal only with people 'in the most vulnerable situations'. The sudden loss of accountability suggests that the energy industry has given the Labour party some sort of sweetener. Sleaze Exposed Secret government documents just released show that Tony Blair was lying when he sweated on TV, said he was a "pretty straight sort of guy" and claimed he wasn't responsible for getting Formula One an exemption from a tobacco advertising ban after Labour donor Bernie Ecclestone twisted his arm. Gordon Brown denied at the time, knowing that Mr. E. had given his party £1,000,000. Eye off the ball? The dodginess of Icelandic banks is no secret – that's why they were offering silly interest rates, to attract hot money. So how come the overpaid cowboys in charge of local authorities' surplus cash didn't know this? And how come the government did nothing about their criminal recklessness? BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon Brown has been assuring us for years that he has put an end to Boom & Bust. So much for a politican's assurances! BROWN ECONOMICS Thanks to New Labour's compensation culture and 'no win, no fee' claims, local authorities spent £52.3 million on road repairs in 2007/08 and £53 million to compensate the owners of vehicles damaged by the potholes they missed and other 'victims' of highway neglect. BROWN ECONOMICS The government has increased the pay of GPs by 58% for putting in 14% less time on the job. "Staggering Incompetence", is how the Commons public accounts committed described the negotiation of the new contract. OFF TARGET The government's target of building 2,000,000 new homes by 2016 is toast thanks to the Credit Crunch. So expect the target to be downgraded to an aspiration very soon, and then forgotten. Gone Bonkers? Gordon's decision to bring his doubly disgraced, sworn enemy, Peter Mandelson, back into the Cabinet is a sign that either he's totally desperate or he's lost it completely. On the other hand, it could be that he feels safer with the Princess of Darkness inside the tent pissing out than vice versa! BROWN ECONOMICS The government has ambitions to blow twelve billion quid on a databank, which will be used to store every phone call, email and internet browse made Britain. £1 billion has already been spent on laying the foundations of this project at GCHQ. So no financial crisis and money not tight, then? Brown's Sleazy Recipe for Britain Gordon Brown, like Tony Blair, dashed into the prime minister's job promising an end to sleaze. Blair drowned in it and Brown is heading in the same direction. The proof of this is his decision to give Peter Mandelson, the twice disgraced and evicted minister, a peerage and another Cabinet job.    Perhaps Brown thinks that someone with a history of financial incontinence and disregard for the law of the land will be a shining star among his collection of kids and has-beens. BROWN SPIN The Home Sec. pro tem, J. Smith, is trying to tell us that Sir Ian Blair is completely innocent and he was forced out of his job as the Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police because Boris Johnson, London's Mayor, was playing party politics. And Blair's failures of leadership & competence, Blair's own playing politics on behalf of the Labour party and his shameful political correctness had nothing at all to do with his downfall.

September 2008 DODGY DOINGS The results of this year's national science tests for 14-year-olds are fraudulent as the Qualifications & Curriculum Authority ordered examiners to award marks for wrong answers. JUST POINTLESS The government is sitting on its hands while Ofcom plans the destruction of Britain's lifeboat service by charging the RNLI a quarter of a million pounds per year for using marine radio frequencies. "The Age of Irresponsibility" – that's what Gordon Brown himself calls his decade as Chancellor, during which his failure to impose proper regulation led to recklessness on a suicidal scale in the financial markets. EMPTY PROMISES In his 'Let me keep my job' speech to the Labour conference, Gordon Brown promised to spend an extra £66 billion. But not a word on where the money will come from, of course. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon is going to do "whatever it takes" to reform the financial system. So is he going to stick corrupt bankers and City traders in gaol and strip them of their assets, even if they've bunged the Labour party? Or is his promise just more hot air, soon forgotten? JUST AMAZING!!! Finally, this government gets something right! Business Sec. John Hutton looks like he's going to back a new generation, coal-fired power station to keep the lights on. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon's recipe for getting out of a recession:  • DON'T try to live within your means  • DON'T make economies and cuts in public spending  • DO borrow more  • DO spend more in the public sector  • DO put up taxes BROWN SPIN The government is suppressing details of how many soldiers receive crippling injuries in Afghanistan because it fears a negative impact on public opinion on the conduct of this war. JUST POINTLESS A government report, suppressed but revealed via the FoI Act, concluded that Home Information Packs have no purpose and people ignore then because they don't trust them. SPURIOUS ON CRIME The Home Office has shot itself in the foot again. Knife crime will show a huge increase this year because last year's figures were fiddled to make this crime rate look better than it actually is and this year's figures have to include all of the categories left out of last year's numbers. SOFT ON CRIME HM Inspectorate of Constabulary is having a go at the Chief Constable of Essex Police because he's decided to have all victims of crime interviewed (which is what the people paying for the police want) as part of a campaign which has seen the crime rate fall during his 3 years in office. DODGY DOINGS The Chancellor is brow-beating LloydsTSB to save Bank of Scotland jobs in Scotland after the merger with HBoS to protect Labour votes north of the border. BROWN ECONOMICS Bailing out the Northern Rock has made the Brown Hole in the nation's finances a massive 43.3% of GDP, which is still a significant underestimate. But there does seem to be a little more honesty at the Treasury now that Gordon has gone. BROWN SPIN Home Office statistics have become so tainted with Labour spin that they are now issued by the Office for National Statistics. So what did the Home Office do when the latest stats on immigration were due for release? Send a press officer to hijack the meeting and hand out more Labour lies. BROWN ECONOMICS Having paid GPs more for doing less work, the government is planning to pay them even more for resuming evening and weekend work. DODGY DOINGS The government is selling meetings with ministers, behind the scenes, at £500 a go with lunch thrown in. Masochists can also buy a reserved seat for Gordon Brown's conference speech for a mere £1,750. ANOTHER MOTORING STEALTH TAX The government plans to double the fine for not wearing a seat belt to £60 after a bogus period of consultation. ANOTHER BROWN BOG-UP Last year's botched contract for NHS dentists has given them an average 13% pay rise for doing no extra work. In addition, the target-based system encourages dentists to opt for simple treatments; like extraction instead of repairs to save a tooth; so the patient is getting a worse service. OUR MONEY Good News! The energy companies have to give away £910 million for lagging and other energy-saving home improvements. Bad News They will be able to offset their bounty against tax so the poor old taxpayer will have to pick up a big chunk of the bill. ANOTHER BROWN BOG-UP ETS Europe, the US company sacked for this years SATs results fiasco, has dumped a big chunk of the blame back on the government, which took too long over making vital decisions and messed ETS(E) about by changing the terms of the contract after they had been agreed. OUR MONEY The government has sold off its remaining 19% stake in the defence research company QinetiQ, formerly part of the MoD, at a Brown Bottom in the share market. No change of policy there, then. BROWN SPIN The government claims that speed cameras save 100 lives per year. In fact, the departments concerned have been fiddling the statistics and the real figure is less than 50 lives per year. No wonder no one trusts numbers coming out of Gordon's dodgy crew. OUR MONEY The National Institute for Health & Clinical Excellence (NICE) spent £3.4 million on evaluating new medicines in 2007/08 and £4.5 million on communications, PR and spin doctors after making boneheaded decisions. SOFT ON CRIME Labour's neglect of rural areas in favour of its city strongholds has led to the violent crime rate doubling out in the country since 1997. The fact that half of all police station closures have been in rural areas could have a lot to do with it. OUR MONEY The falling value of the pound against the euro puts Britain in line for paying an extra £8 billion to the European Union in membership fees. GET A BLOODY GRIP! Councils in England, Scotland & Wales failed to collect £750 million in Council Tax in 2007/08. Birmingham, Glasgow, Edinburgh and Manchester (all areas packed with Labourite dodgers) were the biggest failures. GET A BLOODY GRIP! A Prison Service contractor lost the personal details of 5,000 prison staff last year. Communications with the Justice Dept. are so good that Justice Minister J. Straw was told about it only in the 2nd week of this month. Brown's Secret Windfall The government is on course to make £1 billion out of a renewable energy scam by the end of the year. The Non-Fossil Fuel Obligation scam pays a fixed price to suppliers of electricity generated from wind power, biomass, etc. But the government is paying cash into the scam's bank account at the current high fuel prices, which are a lot higher than the guarantee price, and sneaking the surplus out as a Stealth Tax.    The government is trying to shame the Big Six power companies into doing something for the fuel poor out of their massive profits, while chickening out of imposing a windfall tax on them. The reason for the political cowardice is now clear; the government is embarrassed about enjoying its own secret windfall. And while the surplus from the NFFO scam should be spent on insulating homes and helping the fuel-poor, you can't bet you bottom dollar it won't be. BROWN ECONOMICS The court service budget contains a £90 million Brown Hole, which means judges and court staff on the dole and more criminals getting away with it. BROWN SPIN The 1-year stamp duty holiday at the bottom end is being advertised as a £600 million giveaway to house buyers. But a more realistic assessment, based on genuine projections of house sales, brings it down to around £150 million. So only a 4x exaggeration. U-TURN Brown's plan to steal cash from energy companies to buy popularity with the fuel-poor via hand-outs of fuel vouchers has hit the buffers. The Big Six have told him straight – if he grabs their profits, then they won't invest in his renewable energy and other 'green' scams. IN BROWN'S WORLD The old spiv has exaggerated the benefit to the taxpayer of the stamp duty holiday shamelessly, and raising the threshold for 1 year to £175K is expected to lead to a wave of tax evasion via under-the-counter charges for fixture & fittings. ANOTHER BROWN BOG-UP The government paid £80 million of taxpayers' cash to Liberata to distribute £30/week bribes to kids over 16 to stay at school. Surprise! The system is a shambles and the payments aren't being made. GET A BLOODY GRIP! The government is standing idly by while PFI contractors rip the nation off for millions of pounds by charging hundreds of pounds for simple maintenance jobs, like changing a lock or replacing a light bulb. TODAY'S SPIN The economy isn't in a hell of a mess due to Gordon Brown's bungling and his failure to save for a rainy day. It's all down to unique circumstances in the rest of the world, which were impossible to predict and not Gordon's fault by any stretch of the imagination, no, definitely not. OUR MONEY Gordon Brown is hoping to buy himself some popularity with a morgage support/housing market kick-start scheme, which the Chancellor reckons will end up adding £40 billion to the Brown Hole in the nation's finance. So Mr. Broon isn't making himself all that popular with the bloke next door!

August 2008 SOFT ON CRIME The government's policy of letting criminals get away with a spot fine is puting magistrates and court officials out of work as too few cases are coming up before the beak to justify employing the current levels of staff. OUR MONEY Gordon Brown spent £391 million of taxpayers' cash on spin doctors and self-promotion during his first year as prime minister. Tony Blair managed to spend only £348 million on spin in his final year. So Mr. Broon isn't exactly a bargain. But then, we already knew that. BROWN ECONOMICS In 2007/08, the government extracted £33 billion in 'green' Stealth Taxes as penance for Britain's greenhouse emissions, which are costed by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change at £4.6 billion. £8.8 billion of the excess was spent on roads, which means that £19.6 billion disappeared into the government's Brown Hole.    The government would have us believe that the cost of Britain's emissions is £16.3 billion and the nation is being ripped off for only £7.9 billion after paying for its roads.    Which amounts to an admittion that we ARE being ripped off and just the amount is in dispute. And we all know how reliable this government's accounts are. SOFT ON TERRORISM In addition to getting out of gaol early, IRA terrorists think they can get away with claiming free pardons and compensation for being locked up. Apparently, having a criminal record stops terrorists getting jobs requiring the candidate to have a good character and also prevents them from going to the United States to play the hero. SOFT ON CRIME Prisoners are to be released 20 days early instead of 18 as a result of the government's maladministration of the prison system. Which means that the taxpayer will have to stump up 2 extra days' cash as compensation to the released prisoner for the loss of board & lodgings. CRIMINALLY USELESS Thanks to careless staff and thieves, the government has lost 3,200 laptops, mobile phones and PDAs since 2001. The worst offender is the Ministry of Defence with the Department of Work & Pensions, the Ministry of Justice and the Department of Health battling for 2nd place. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Gordon has almost apologized for Labour's policy of scrapping competitive games in schools and selling off their playing fields. But his rush of post-Olympic euphoria couldn't quite run to saying 'sorry'. Which, if his had been as patently insincere as one of Tony Blair's apologies, isn't an altogether bad thing. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government is letting the Royal Mail weasle out of its obligation to deliver everywhere for a uniform price by raising dodgy health & safety objections in rural areas. BROWN ECONOMICS Gordon Brown has brought the British economy to a standstill, ending a period of growth dating back to 1992, when the Tories were in power. Economic growth for the period April-June 2008 is officially 0%. The latest government data loss The personal details of all 84,000 prisoners in gaol in England and Wales, plus the details of 43,000 serious and persistent offenders, have been lost on a data stick. The contractor is unlikely to suffer any loss of business as such companies are usually personal friends of the government.    The current Home Secretary is Jacqui Smith but she's not taking any blame. OUT OF CONTROL The official immigration rate over the last decade (1997-2006) has risen to eight times the rate for 1987-1996 thanks to Labour's open-door policy. Add on estimates of the number of illegals, and the rate climbs to ten times. As most of the immigrants come from outside Europe, their free admission demonstrates that Labour has chosen deliberately not to place any controls on who is allowed to live here. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government is hoping to bribe its way back into the electorate's favour by making councils pay out £10 every time they fail to deliver on their core services, like refuse collection and street repairs. But by the time the council has added on the cost of the extra bureaucracy, the penalty on the council will be up around the £110 charged to residents for overfilling wheely bins, and Council Tax will have to go up to make up the deficit. OUR MONEY Another government computer project has collapsed in disarray. The German computer firm Siemens was hired to scan, index and digitize records of births, deaths and marriages in England and Wales over the last 171 years. Siemens has been sacked, after collecting millions of pounds of taxpayers' cash, with the job half done, the government has no idea when it will be finished and genealogists everywhere are up in arms. The Latest Wheely Bin Scam Councils which have been forced to retain weekly refuse collections are forcing half-size, 140-litre bins on their residents. Rushmore Borough Council (Hampshire) and Trafford Council (Greater Manchester) are leading the way.    Anyone who can't cram everything into the reduced bin will have to drive to the council tip to dispose of the excess, which exposes the bogus nature of this government's green aspirations. ANOTHER SWINDLE The National Audit Office is investigating the government again – this time over whether it made no effort to do a proper consultation of the people affected in areas where it is Labour policy to close post offices, and whether the government has actually done anything to provide alternative services in the blighted areas. SOFT ON DRUGS Labour's policies on drug abuse have doubled hospital admissions of overdosed customers in 10 years and the death rate from drug abuse has risen by one-third. OUR MONEY British taxpayers will have to stump up £50 million when the government forces telephone companies and internet providers to store all phone calls and emails for 12 months. This is supposed to be an anti-terrorism measure but the government has perverted an EC directive to give 474 councils access to the data if they merely SUSPECT that someone MIGHT have done something wrong. RED TAPE Under Labour's bungling bureaucracy, the police have to spend 13½ hours filling in forms and doing risk assessments before they can put a tail on an active criminal. ANOTHER SWINDLE A-Level standards are falling by one whole grade per decade. Which means that the current A grade is worth the same as a B-grade when Labour took office. SHEER GREED The 38 MPs living in London have been voted a huge rise in their London living allowance. On 2009/04/01, their allowance will go up from £2,812/year to £8,876/year, or by 215%. So much for wage restraint. OUR MONEY Food price inflation is now around 25%/year. OUR MONEY Public sector workers used to get early retirement and generous pensions because they were paid less than private sector staff. Under Labour, they are now paid an average of £60/week more than private sector staff, and factoring in their gold-plated pensions, the total package amounts to £210/week more than the average private sector worker. The trade unions have been allowed to get away with this because the bankroll Labour. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . or EDUCATION, SCHMEDUCATION The universities were worried about the sheer numbers of schoolkids being awarded an A-grade at A-Level, so the A* grade was born. Then some PC moron realized that this would give an advantage to pupils from private schools and Labour's boasts about doing wonders for the state sector would be exposed as spin and lies. So A* selection has been given the bullet. OUR MONEY The government has blown £55 million of taxpayers' cash over the last year on citizens' juries, phone & internet polls and other surveys; most of them on essential topics like: "interest in shopping ethically on St. Valentine's Day". OUR MONEY Labour's Regional Development Agencies (est. 1999 by J. Prescott) have blown £15 billion of taxpayers' cash while presiding over a growing wealth gap between South and North. Under their "guidance", the job creation rate and industrial output in the regions outside London have both fallen since 1999. ANOTHER SWINDLE Under Labour's crazy rules for education, it is possible to get an A grade in music at GCSE level without being able to read or write musical notation. OUR MONEY The nationalized Northern Rock bank has lost £600 million, so the Chancellor has given it a further £3 billion of taxpayers' cash in addition to the £27 billion already coughed up to save Labour's favourite bank. ANOTHER SWINDLE The revenue raised from fines generated by speed cameras has shot up from £28.5 million in 1997 to £106.4 million in 2006, confirming that it's just another Labour Stealth Tax. CRIMINALLY USELESS The DVLA has no idea how many of a batch of wrongly printed V5C 'registered keeper' forms were stolen instead of shredded. The forms are now in the hands of criminals, who use them to make sales of stolen cars look legitimate while leaving their victims with no form of redress if the police repossess the stolen car. OUR MONEY Annual spending on cars for ministers and drivers has risen by 40% since Labour came to power in 1997, even though this government is forever telling everyone else to use their cars less. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government is using taxpayers' cash to pay for propaganda disguised as documentary TV programmes. £2 million has been spent since 2003 on things like the ITV series Beat: Life on the Street, which is intended to persuade the public that 'Blunkett Bobby' PCSOs are a good idea. Ofcom is investigating but is not expected to do anything.

July 2008 ANOTHER SCAM This government's policy of encouraging people not to do anything and become enormously fat seems to be targetted at solving the pensions problem. Having stolen security in old age, Labour has created a generation of people who will die 11 years early and not need much of a pension. CRIMINALLY USELESS Over 90 patients in the care of Maidstone & Tunbridge Wells NHS Hospital Trust died of clostridium difficile in 2 major outbreaks between 2004 and 2006. But a report by Kent police and the Health & Safety Executive has found that no one was criminally negligent despite a policy of understaffing and the management allowing wards to remain in a filthy, dirty condition. Rose Gibb, the woman who presided over the whole mess, is now working as a consultant telling doctors & administrators 'how to give a better service to the public'. THE CRIMINAL'S FRIEND The government has given 'get out of gaol early' cards to 31,000 criminals over the last 12 months in the name of avoiding having to build more gaols. And, no surprise for a Labour government, the total is well in excess of the 25,500 early releases promised when the policy was announced. CHICKEN Gordon Brown has bottled out of sacking the boy Miliband, his teenage foreign secretary, for gross disloyalty. PLAIN USELESS Labour's target culture and obsession with bureaucracy lets criminals go free because the police can't be bothered executing arrest warrants. And burglars, thieves and violent criminals are being let off with a spot fine (to massage targets) instead of being hauled into court for proper punishment. PLAIN USELESS A survey made 1 year after HIPs were introduced has found that most people don't trust them and they are of benefit only to the people who sell them and government ministers, who claim them as bogus 'green' credentials. CAN'T BE TRUSTED A government-sponsored inquiry into the running of the National DNA Database, which is full of records of people who haven't committed a crime, has found that it is being used to criminalize the innocent. Worse, the inquiry added that Home Office ministers should not be allowed to manage the database because they have hidden agendas and they can not be trusted.    Tony Blair was responsible for the policy of retaining all records, even those belonging to people who are innocent of any crime. Such records are deleted as a matter of course in Scotland. JOBS FOR THE BOYS The government is twisting the arms of local councils to make them give contracts only to firms which encourage union membership. Why? To put taxpayers' money in the pockets of the trade unions in the hope that some of it will be slipped to the Labour party as donations. Labour's new "equality" rules on murder 1. You get off if you can claim that the dead person insulted you. 2. A wife gets off if she claims her dead husband provoked her. 3. A husband doesn't get off under any circumstances. Author: Harriet Harperson – 'nuff said! IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Gordon is planning to borrow £14 billion and spend it on buying himself popularity via subsidising the mortgate market. Of course, this shatters his already broken Golden Rule on government borrowing, but if his reputation for fiscal rectitude is already shot, what the hell? VANISHING ACT The Chancellor has decided to limit back claims for pension credit from 12 months to 3 months in 2009 to deny the poorest pensioners £100 million. PLAIN USELESS The Home Office is set to grant amnesty by default to hundreds of thousands of bogus asylum seekers, whose files have been either lost or filed & forgotten. And it comes as no surprise to learn that the Home Office has managed to deport less than one-third of the foreign criminals who have served gaol terms here. ANOTHER SWINDLE The Ministry of Defence has been caught using Brown accounting tactics. It has been moving money from one part of the budget to another to hide monumental cost over-runs in major projects, such as the Eurofighter. About £3 billion has been made to disappear in this way. OUR MONEY The government is in the process of spending £35,000,000,000 of taxpayers' cash on building schools with mediochre facilities, according to its own consultants on architecture. The government has a target of replacing all the schools in the country by 2020 but poorly designed buildings are being thrown up to create a false impression of progress. U-TURN Three years after making 24-hour drinking compulsory, the government has decided it's a really bad idea and it should be banned. MORE LABOUR LIES A survey by the LSE has found that 18% of teenagers are Neets (not in education or training) compared to the government's fiddled figure of just 7%. The need to fiddle the figure arised because getting kids into school or training is one of Gordon Brown's 'flagships' and he has chucked a mountain of taxpayers' cash at it. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government has been lying about the number of drivers who will be hit by the new Road Tax Stealth Tax. Add 5.6 million motorists to the previously admitted figure of 9 million. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Despite the prime minister's glowering disapproval, MPs have voted to continue buying themselves TVs, furniture and other household goods for second homes with taxpayers' money. OUR MONEY The government is blowing £250,000 of taxpayers' cash on sending dozens of coppers to the Peking Olympics, allegedly to study the security methods. ANOTHER SWINDLE Gordon Brown has been preaching fiscal prudence for years while lying about the amount of government debt. This month, the wheels came off the scam and the Chancellor is paving the way for admitting later in the year that we're really in another era of high debt and Labour government borrowing out of control. MORE LABOUR LIES The government previously admitted to losing 347 laptops from the Ministry of Defence but questions in Parliament have forced out that admission that the real number of laptops lost through theft and staff negligence over the last 4 years is 747. VANISHING ACT That notorious self-publicist Ed "he's talking" Balls, the Children's Minister, has done a Gordon Brown-style disappearing act while the storm over the botched SATs results lashes the government. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government and the police are pretending that the crime rate has been dropping for years while ignoring two inconvienient truths: 1. The government and the police are notorious for fiddling statistics downwards, not recording crimes and down-grading crimes to lower categories, and 2. People no longer report many crimes because they know nothing will ever be done about them. PLAIN USELESS The Information Commissioner, Richard Thomas, has concluded that it wouldn't be safe to let this government hoard details of all phone calls, emails, text messages, internet searches, on-line purchases, etc. made in Britain when this government can't be trusted not to lose the data. FAILURE REWARDED Paul Gray, the man whose failures of management were responsible for the loss of the personal details of 25,000,000 child benefit claimants, has been rewarded with £306,883 in cash for his brief stay at HMRC and a pension pot of £2.3 million. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Gordon Brown, the alleged financial wizard, has managed to more than double the rate of inflation – from 1.6% in May 1997 to 3.8% in June 2008. OUR MONEY Due to yet another blunder by Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs, some 420,000 pensioners face losing up to £320/year in extra tax on small pensions, which HMRC has been ignoring since 1983. U-TURN Within a few hours of announcing it, prime ministerial hopeful Jacqui Smith has dropped her plan to drag knife-wielding criminals to hospitals to view their victims. But she still doesn't think its a good idea to send these criminals to gaol. PLAIN WRONG As usual, the government has missed the point. Home Sec. Jacqui Smith wants to make knife-wielding yobs visit their victims in hospital when it should be judges & politicians who are dragged to the bedside of knifed customers to view the results of their failure to make yobs responsible for their own actions. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . High fuel prices are a good thing, according to Environment Sec. Hilary Benn. They give the Treasury lots of tax revenue and they price poor people off the roads, reducing their carbon dioxide emissions. OUR MONEY 9 million motorists will be hundreds of pounds worse off after Labour's road tax grab – and the planet will be no better off for his blatantly bogus 'green tax'. ANOTHER SWINDLE Harriet Harperson has ditched a 'flagship' embryo research bill because the government is worried about losing Catholic votes in the coming Glasgow East by-election. ANOTHER SWINDLE The government has been letting a marking fiddle make the results of schools' national tests look better than they really are since 1995. The system lets examiners review the papers of students just below the pass mark and push some of them over it. But students who scrape a pass aren't rechecked to find out if they should be downgraded. OUR MONEY In 2006/07, the government spent £154 million on anti-fraud operations but recovered just £22 million from fraudsters.  • Benefit fraud has dropped from £2 billion in 2001/02 to £800 million in 2006/07 BUT the amount of benefit lost by official blunders went up from £ 1 billion in 2001/02 to £1.9 billion in 2006/07.  • So the total lost to fraud plus blunders is now £2,700,000,000 per year! SECRET AGENDA The government is hoarding £1,780,000,000 of the lottery cash which is supposed to go to good causes. The suspicion is that it will be used to bail out the 2012 Olympics when the final bills come in. FAILURE REWARDED Civil servants, including those at the Home Office, the Ministry of Defence, HMRC and the other failing departments, collected £218,000,000 in bonuses last year for just doing their jobs (often badly). IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . During Gordon's first year as PM, the man who promised to cut red tape shoved a record number of new laws into the statute books.    "Brown is confusing legislation with government." – the Liberals.    "Labour has passed a record number of new laws simply so that it can be seen to be doing something." – the Tories. PLAIN USELESS The National Audit Office has refused to approve the Treasury's accounts for this year – the first time this has ever happened. The sticking point is the Brown/Darling dodgy accounting over the Northern Rock liabilities. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Soaring living costs and Stealth Taxes have left the average family £140/month worse off than 5 years ago. They had a disposable income (after living expenses) of £910/month in 2003/04. That's down to £733 now. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Gordon Brown's main reason for wanting to be prime minister is that "plenty of other people have wanted the job". BROWN FUNK Gordon Brown took care to be absent when MPs voted against tightening the already lax rules on their expenses. PLAIN USELESS Under New Labour, the police force has degenerated into an undisciplined rabble, and the average copper is now scruffy, does sloppy paperwork and won't put him/herself into danger on 'uman rights grounds.    Worse, sergeants are afraid to maintain standards in case they are sacked for bullying and the situation isn't helped any by senior coppers playing the race card when they haven't been promoted to the limit of their own expectations whether or not they can hack a top job. IN BROWN'S BRITAIN . . . Keith Vaz, a solid opponent of detention for 42 days, suddenly turned round and voted for it. Now, he has a nice, new office at Westminster . . . PLAIN USELESS The Labour party's insistence on fortnightly bin collections has unleashed a plague of rats, mice, wasps, squirrels and other pests where the policy has been tried.