Don't they ever put a hand in their OWN pocket?
Disgraced Home Sec. J. Smiff thinks the taxpayer should stump up for the porn films which her husband watches at her alleged 2nd home the one she has claimed £140,000 for since 2001 by pretending that her main home is her sister's spare room.
The Governor Steps In
Mervyn King, boss of the Bank of England, has cancelled Gordon Brown's credit card after Brown announced that he was going on yet another reckless spending spree.
Last year, the Dept. of Health ruled that senior NHS managers should get a pay rise of no more than 1.3%. So the managers gave themselves 7.5%. And nurses got 1.9%.
Anywhere that'll have him?
Gordon Brown finished the month on a tour of South America, looking for somewhere to go into hiding, like the Nazi war criminals at the end of World War 2. He got a good slagging in Brasil, where they blame white, blue-eyed bankers for causing the global Brown Slump, so Portuguese lessons are off the agenda.
Dolts in office
E. Balls, who's posing as the education minister, wants to remove any remaining academic content from the schools' curriculum. Instead, he would like kids to be taught how to look things up in Wikipedia and collections of trashy texts.
p.s. Balls is also putting himself forward as a successor to Gordon Brown. So we have the prospect of the man who wrecked the economy being replaced by the turkey who finished off the education system. How very New Labour.
More reckless spending
Things are now so bad for Labour that the government is spending a record £400 million per year of taxpayers' cash on propaganda and party spin aimed at buying favourable opinion polls. That's 3,700,000 adverts per year.
The Brown plans for a spending spree with even more borrowed cash have hit problems. Mervyn King, the Gov. of the Bank of England, has broken ranks to announce that Britain can't afford any more reckless spending. Worse, the money markets have decided not to buy £120 billion of Government Gilts, which is just a fancy name for Brown Debt. Recession and a 30% devaluation of the pound at the hands of Gordon Brown have frightened the money men away from British government bonds for the first time ever.
Europe's champion? Yeah, right!
A year ago, G. Brown was a no-show at the signing ceremony for the Lisbon treaty. He eventually signed it on his own in a back office with no cameras present. Now, he's pretending that he's the world's most enthusiastic European. But given his relationship with the truth, no one is talking all that seriously, the man who backed Blair's illegal war in Iraq and who cause the Brown Slump in Britain with his reckless borrowing & spending.
Another New Labour Fantasy
The Secretary of State for Home Affairs & Expenses Scrounging, J. Smith, would have us believe that she has trained 60,000 people all over the country to 'prevent terrorism' and we're totally safe. What she really means is that they went to a 3-hour seminar, which included a decent coffee break, and we shouldn't look for too much help from "Smiffy's 60,000" when the trouble starts.
The country is in a Brown Slump but the government plans to continue to hand out pay & pension rises well above inflation to the public sector to keep the unions sweet.
This month, the government blew £527,000 on . . . guess what? A 2-day conference on global poverty.
Lord Myners, who is supposed to be closing down tax havens, once made a living out of using them in tax avoidance schemes. So he's not going to upset his mates unduly, is he?
The McNulty, Smith, Balls & Cooper Alibi:
Everyone else is corrupt, so why not me too?
Anyone still think Brown is a financial wizard?
The tax credit scheme launched by Gordon in 2003 has overpaid £7,300,000,000 of taxpayers' cash to date.
New Labour and Gordon Brown have shoved the country into a recession, everyone's looking at a gloomy future so our dear MPs decided to cheer us up with a demand for a pay rise of £40,000 per year.
Labour non-criminal indiscretion: Is this a first?
A Labour MP is in trouble over a touch of the extra-maritals at the Palace of Westminster. But at least he didn't buy the lady train tickets and put them on his expenses, which is what got D. Blunkett fired. And he didn't claim her spare room as expenses-funded second home, like J. Smith, and swindle a small fortune out of the taxpayer.
The NHS in Labour's Grubby Hands
Stafford Hospital is the embodiment of the New Labour approach to the NHS. The managers were too focussed on meeting arbitrary government targets to provide enough staff for the emergency care services. They ignored warnings about staff shortages and dirty conditions. Hundreds of people died unnecessarily. The only checks made by the management were on target performance, not the state of patient care. But NO ONE is to blame and the people responsible for the mess continue to get bonuses and payoffs, and continue to lie about how they deliberately ignored the warnings.
Another Expenses Swindler Exposed
Employment Minister T. McNulty, who lives 3 miles from the Commons, has extracted £60,000 of Taxpayers' Cash in 2nd home expenses for his parents' home, which 11 miles from the Commons and in his Hackney constituency. He has now been shamed by the exposure into stopping this abuse, but he has no intention of repaying the cash. Well, he is a New Labour politician.
Lord Myners has been backed into a corner. He told the Commons Treasury Committee that he made a point of not asking how much pension Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin would get. But T. McKillop, the former chairman of the Royal Bank of Scotland, has revealed that both Myners and Gordon Brown were told last October exactly how much Fred would get.
So Lord Myners' options would appear to be either to admit lying to the Committee or to plead the onset of dementia and retire from public life.
Chancellor Gordon Brown and the Treasury knew since 2004 that the Northern Rock bank was lending money with criminal recklessness, including 125% mortgages to people who couldn't afford them. The bank continued to hand out 125% mortgages even after Labour had nationalized it and many of the people who took out those mortgages have seen their home repossessed.
The Daily Mail has shamed Gordon Brown into going to the 65th anniversay of D-Day celebrations and the Ministry of Defence into talking to the D-Day Veterans' leaders about paying their travel expenses.
Unemployment is over 2 million again, back to 1997 levels, and the wealth-creating private sector is shrinking. But the public sector continues to balloon with non-jobs and well above inflation pay rises.
No Green Shoots in a Brown World
Solicitor General V. Baird was put down from all sides when she tried to make the gloom go away with a prediction that the recession in Britain won't be as bad as in every other major country.
Normally, Gordon Brown would have offered his approval but he's currently under pressure from his party to offer the merest hint of an apology for the mess he's dumped us in, so he can't afford optimism.
Justice Minister J. Straw has been obliged to scrap his plan to put everyone's personal data in a mega-databank and let all government departments, and foreign governments, have free access to it.
The government ministries in Whitehall are blowing £200,000 per year of taxpayers' cash on cut flowers and potted plants.
Corrupt, but who cares?
In September 2008, K. Vaz, chairman of the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee, tried to intervene in the trial of a crooked laywer in his official capacity. S. Mireskandari, a convicted fraudster, is a labour donor and Vaz has enjoyed a lot of hospitality from him. J. Lyon, the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner, has already whitewashed Vaz, who was made chairman of the committee in 2007, despite being up to his neck, with Lord Mandelson of Green Custard, in the passports for the Hinduja brothers scam. Such is the way of New Labour.
Gordon Brown keeps on trying to blame the rest of the world for his failure to regulate his mates in the British banking industry, but he's starting to make the merest hint of a grudging apology for pitching everyone in Britain, apart from the lucky people who got bonuses for failure and knighthoods, into a Brown Hole.
The NHS has spent over £3 million since 2006 on sending fat people to private slimming classes for free.
Just plain bloody useless
Not only will the Navy's new destroyers go into service 2 years late and £1.5 billion over budget, the Ministry of Defence won't be giving them any air-defence missiles for a further 2 years after they start putting themselves about.
The advertising agency Abbott Mead Vickers worked for free on Gordon Brown's 2007 nem con leadership campaign. Surprise! They've now copped for a fat ID card contract.
But we knew they were lying
Newly released emails confirm that British intelligence officers kept trying to put the truth about Saddam Hussein's lack of Weapons of Mass Destruction into their reports but their boss, John Scarlett, gave the Blair government the endorsement which it wanted to start the illegal war against Iraq in 2003 (for which he was rewarded handsomely).
Back Door Diplomacy
The security firm G4S gave a job to former Defence Sec. J. Reid. Three months later, the firm copped for a 4-year contract to supply security guards for Ministry of Defence premises.
More Money Wasted
The government has blown £155 million on a failed computer system for the prison and probation services. "The litany of failings in this case are in a class of their own," said the chairman of the Commons Public Accounts Committee.
Larry Fish, the American banker who helped Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin to sink the Royal Bank of Scotland with his expeditions into the American sub-prime market, collected a pension pot of £19 million.
The government plans to force councils to steal empty houses via Empty Dwelling Management Orders, a plan introducted in 2004 by J. 'Two Jags' Prescott, Labour's former pantomime horse deputy prime minister. The scheme allows the local council to confiscate any house left empty or unrented for more than 6 months, even if it is the former home of a deceased relative and the new owners don't want to sell because Gordon Brown's laxity over bank regulation has destroyed the housing market.
The government is forcing councils to use private detectives to hunt down the owners of empty properties and serve them with confiscation orders.
Don Touhig, a Labour MP who thinks MPs should get more perks and allowances, and a committed scrounger, is to get an extra £14K per year on top of his MP's salary to be chairman of a committee monitoring MPs' expenses.
The government has a plan for redundant workers in the banking sector it wants to turn them into half-trained teachers, who will be churned out of training in 6 months instead of a year.
Abuse of Office
Late-night sittings at the Commons, along with sessions on a Friday, have gone DOWN over the last 4 years. But the taxi bill for Speaker Gorbals and his staff has gone UP from £215K to £446K.
The government has abandoned its plan to let third parties have unrestricted access to what should be confidential NHS medical records.
Probity somewhat lacking
Lord Sleaze of Mandelson is keen to sell the Royal Mail to the Dutch firm TNT. So it will come as no surprise to hear that TNT has been busted for tax evasion and obliged to surrender tens of millions of pounds of defrauded tax to the taxman.
Hypocrisy, thy name is New Labour
The government has proved that it is in the pocket of the Jihadist tendency. Any foreigner who speaks out against the excesses of the Islamist is refused entry to the UK but Moslem 'Preachers of Hate' are welcome.
According to Harriet Harperson's spin, women are suffering more than men in the recession. The truth, from the Office of National Statistics, is that twice as many men as women are losing their jobs.
Eric Daniels, who took LloydsTSB into the disastrous merger with HBoS, will get a £3 million pension pot, charged to the taxpayer, as his reward for failure from Gordon Brown.
Even softer on crime
Justice Minister J. Straw wants to let teenage burglars, muggers and other criminals off with a caution, irrespective of how many crimes they commit, if they're a drug addict.
A set of emails has been published showing that Downing Street was determined to publish some false statistics on knife crime to make the government look good. Publishing the bogus figures in December 2007 was followed by a grovelling apology from the Home Office and a rap on the knuckles for Gordon Brown.
British Jobs for British Workers?
One million foreigner workers from outside the EU have filled one-hald of all the jobs created in Britain since 1997.
Anything BUT the truth
The Immigration Minister, P. Woolly Ass, is trying to intimidate the independent Office of National Statistics into not publishing immigration figures which are accurate and therefore damaging to this inept government.
The Brown Version
Finally, Gordon has coughed up his reason for failing to accept the blame for the collapse of the British banking system through his neglect of regulation and causing the present recession through his reckless borrowing & spending. He thinks it would damage Labour's standing in the opinion polls if he tells the truth.
Hung out to dry
Harriet Harperson, Labour's next-leader wannabe, had a day of glory in front of the TV cameras, fulminating about Fred The Shred's pension, ranting on about the Court of Public Opinion and telling the man who wrecked the Royal Bank of Scotland that the prime monster was going to grab his pension like he's grabbed every other pension in the private sector.
Her ravings were followed by an ominous silence from the Brown & Balls encampments. They seem to have realized that Labour will end up firing blanks in the Court of Human Rights if they challenge Fred the Shred's pension, and if a Court of Public Opinion were to be established, then Brown, Balls, Blair, Mandelson, Campbell & the rest of Labour's liars, incompetents and war-mongers would end up in the same cell-block as Fred the Shred.
Putting the blame where it belongs
The head of the government's toothless financial watchdog has admitted that the regulators were 'under political pressure' for the last decade or so to sit on their hands and do nothing about the insane business practices of Britain's banks. Now, the Chancellor, A. Darling, has admitted that the government (i.e. G. Brown, the Chancellor at the time), made a bog of 'regulating' the banks. Which looks very like a positioning strategy for the post-Brown era.
The wheels come off a Treasury scam
After the banks, PFI projects are going belly up. So that's another £4,000,000,000 which the taxpayer will have to find right away to keep bankrupt Private Finance Initiative projects going now that they've lost their private finance.
No sub until things turn around
Gordon Brown, who is bragging that he's pulling Pres. O'Bama's strings and giving him the recipe for recovery, is hoping for an American bail-out. But, financial dunce that he is, Gordon hasn't noticed that the United States is broke, too.