Some New Year information from a correspondent . . . |
As the effects of the Brown Slump drag on, the Coalition government might let the Bank of England try another dose of 'Quantitative Easing'. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is 'Quantitative Easing' all about? A. It is money that the government prints and spends on behalf of the taxpayer. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this spending? A. It lets the government buy high-value goods like high-definition TV sets for its various departments, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by spending a QE allocation wisely:
Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. ) Conclusion: Be patriotic go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night. No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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