[Sunday, 01st] M*A*S*H [18:00, bio] CBS was looking for a new direction and a TV series on the back of a big hit film looked a good idea. Radar survived from the film and the studio suggested Col. Blake, but lots of casting was needed for the others. There was no blood in the pilot and the dubbed on laugh track was excluded from the O.R. The wife of the boss of CBS liked it, so the show received a 2nd season in a decent time slot and took off.
   Characters came and went, the series began to run out of steam, and new stories, in season 10 but CBS wanted one more year plus a big finish, which was filmed 6 months before the last show was made. 251 episodes over 11 years for a show based on a 'police action' which lasted 3 years. 125 million people saw the finale. And M*A*S*H* lives on all over the TV world.
mr. MONK and the bad girlfriend [19:00, Hallmark] An estate agent, the partner of the captain's girlfriend, was shot and Monk didn't get on with the lieutenant on the case. Shawn was planning to leave the agency with good clients and a witness thought the killer was a woman. Linda, the girlfriend, seemed to have an unbreakable alibi.
   Capt. Stottlemeyer didn't want to know when Monk said Linda was the killer. She tried to negotiate with Monk and made the fatal blunder of lying to the captain about Monk. Monk exposed her secret, so she ended up in handcuffs and the captain went on holiday with Lt. Randy instead of Linda.
Psyche [The greatest adventure in the history of basic cable, 20:00, Hallmark] Shawn, his dad and Gus were in police custody and telling the story of how Uncle Jack had turned up with a treasure map with a bit missing and recruited Shawn & Gus as partners.
   Uncle Jack failed to mention that he had 2 other sets of partners, one of which had bamboozled the local cops into thinking they were Spanish cops. Lots of sleuthing and chasing about, the bad guys were bagged and Shawn scammed Uncle Jack out of the gold.
Super Bowl 43 [20:00, Sky Sports 1] The NFC won the toss for the 12 time in a row but the Arizona Cardinals let the Pittsburgh Steelers receive the opening kick off. The Steelers started well, running & passing, and Roethlisberger seemed to finish the drive with a 1 yard run; but a challenge had his effort ruled down short, so just a FG to open the scoring. 3-0. The Cardinals' opening drive blew up on the first of many penalties.
   Holmes took a pass 25 yards, nearly scored a TD on the next play but it was Russell who finished the drive with a 1 yard TD run in the 2nd quarter. 10-0. Warner was able to pass to James, Boldin went 45 yards to the PS 2, and Warner found Patrick with a TD pass despite being tripped. 10-7.
   Woodley got the first sack on Warner, forcing a punt. But a pass deflected to Dansby gave the ball back to the Cardinals. They reached the Steelers' 2 then Harrison jumped a receiver's route, collected the ball at the goal line and ran it back 100 yards for a TD! 17-7 at half time instead of 10-14.
   The Steelers recovered a forced fumble by Warner at midfield to halt the Cardinals' opening drive of the 3rd quarter. But a challenge had the 'fumble' ruled an incomplete pass. And the Cardinals were able to punt. The Steelers received the benefit of 2 personal foul penalties on the Cardinals and when Reed booted over a FG, another personal foul let him do it again from closer range. 20-7.
   A 4th quarter sack by Dockett made the Steelers punt. The Cardinals went no-huddle to change the pace and Fitzgerald collected a 1 yard TD pass. 20-14. 7:33 left. R'berger was buried as Dockett got another sack. The Cardinals blew up on a 3rd & 20 after holding but the Steelers were backed up to their 1 by the Cardinals' punt and a personal foul. Holding in the end zone gave the Cardinals a safety. 20-16, 2:58 left.
   The Cardinals scored too quickly. Just 2 plays later, Fitzgerald galloped 64 yards to the end zone, 20-23, 2:37 left. Holmes took a pass to the Cardinals' 17, 49 seconds left. A pass flew through Holmes' hands on the left size of the end zone, but he got both feet down with possession on the right side on the next play. 27-23, 35 seconds left. When the Steelers recovered a forced fumble by Warner, that was their record 6th Super Bowl win confirmed. [Monday, 02nd] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a flinger for a giant dart. The blokes went for a huge crossbow while the ladies and their expert came up with a unique solution involving springs and a quarter-circle pivoting arm. The blokes were about 4" short of the target with their first shot and hit the dartboard just above treble 3 with their 2nd shot. The ladies dropped well short with their first 2 shots and both contraptions broke during round 3.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] Build a jet-propelled dragster. The Purples went for a V1-type pulse-jet while the Reds used a turbo-charger from a truck, which involved a hell of a lot of searching. Both machines worked and there was 1 second between them; 38 seconds to 39; after the first run. The Purples went faster and faster, knocking 9 seconds off their time in the 3rd run. The Reds suffered a turbo failure.
Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed [20:00, ITV 4] showed us how to do: 1. the Houdini steamer trunk effect; 2. the broken & restored thread trick; 3. make an assistant's mid-section vanish; 4. manipulate a candle flame; 5. conjure spirits from an 8-sided pyramid; 6. vanish a light bulb; 7. the Rotating Blades of Death escape.
Edison (2005) [21:00, Channel 5] The corrupt undercover cops of F.R.A.T. kill a guy involved in the drug trade and frame one of his colleagues for the murder. Pollock, a pushy kid reporter, decides something doesn't add up in court. Raif, the black cop, has a conscience about the killing by Frank the Psycho. The D.A. doesn't want to know about the kid's allegations of corruption but his investigator takes an interest.
   Raif goes to the rescue when Frank & Co. put Pollock and his girlfriend in hospital. The fall guy is murdered in prison. The DA's guy reckons FRAT has stolen $12 million in drug money over 5 years. The kid tries to talk Raif into doing the decent thing. Frank attacks Raif and the Captain has to shoot him. Raif gives Pollard the rest of his story.
   The whole of FRAT, led by the Captain, goes after Pollard. Raif come to his aid with a bootful of weapons, and he kills all of the FRATs. Pollard's editor sinks the bent D.A. and Raif is allowed to walk and marry his fiancée.

[Tuesday, 03rd] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] It was boat-building again; something fast. The Cops were supposed to build a lightweight hydroplane but they couldn't find the bits and ended up heavy and using a propellor. The Jousters went for a van roof and twin jet ski impellors. Both machines actually worked! Chain drive problems denied the Jousters a finish in Rounds 2 & 3, and the Cops' boat actually got up on the plane when they thrashed it in Round 3.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] Told to build a fire engine, the Blues put a water cannon on a van with a pump from a slurry trailor. The Oranges tried to build a foam system, but that sabotaged their jet-ski impellor drive. The estate agent Blues raced ahead while the Yorkshire Oranges faffed around. The standing was 1-1 after 2 rounds, as usual. Both teams ended up using buckets in the final round and the Blues were judged least worst.
CSI:Las Vegas [Let It Bleed, 21:00, Channel 5] Nick pursued a guy in a cop suit, who was robbing liquor stores, and the guy took a dive out of a window into a dumpster containing a dead girl. Catherine got grumpy in a club visited by the girl after she found her under-age daughter there. The dead girl's dad was a Colombian drug dealer. She had been killed with a transfusion of the wrong sort of blood.
   The dead robber was a best man trying to raise cash to get the groom out of a hole after a bachelor party. Clues from the dead girl led to a drug bust at a goldfish ranch. The guys there said the girl had OD'd on the wrong drug and they'd tried to save her by transfusing their own blood; an urban myth which killed the girl. Then her Colombian dad gave LVPD a whole gang of new bodies.

[Wednesday, 04th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Curling with cars! The Purples went for a frame to surround their Mini and a pusher bar driven by chains. The Cops in Blue built a giant pendulum, which acquired a pusher bar eventually. The Purples' pusher bar bent in round 1, but they were able to give their cars lots more shove in the next 2 rounds.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] A grand final pitted the Navy against the Estate Agents in a tank building contest. The Navy decided to build a rotating turret and shun tracks in favour of 3 axles; the last of which they fitted the wrong way round! So some hasty scrambling during the 'tinkering time'. They had an excellent first run around the tank assault course, and hit all of the targets, despite their turret falling off, before bogging down on the 2nd run.
   The Estate agents put a car chassis on a trailer and spent hours building tracks; only to suffer from too wide tracks on their first attempt at the course and engine failure at the start of their second run. So the Navy won.
Metropolis: The Power of Cities [20:00, UKTV History] Alexandria last night, Carthage tonight. The ruins of the city, destroyed by envious Romans in 146 BC, now lie under the suburbs of Tunis, and the port city probably looked very like Tunis; apart from the top secret naval yard with its mighty wall. When they took over the site, the Romans built aqueducts. Carthage used hundreds of cisterns to store the winter rains.
   As with last night's effort, the archaeology was intercut with clips from a cheesy historical drama in French. Finding remains from Punic Carthage is a struggle, but the diggers have found evidence of a process for making high-quality iron, which was rediscovered only in the early 19th century. The city also controlled the tin trade for making bronze.
Starsky & Hutch (2004) [21:00, BBC 3] Starsky is a straight-laced cop, Hutch is a dirty. So Captain Doby makes them partners. A Jewish drug dealer has made a version of cocaine which police sniffer dogs can't detect. Huggy Bear is a Godfather figure but still Hutch's snout. The guys investigate a floater shot by the dealer (after Hutch has stolen all the cash in the guy's wallet.
   After an Easy Rider expedition to a biker bar, our heroes get hold of some super-coke. Which the police lab says is just sweetener. Starsky puts some in his coffee and ends up spaced out. Starsky's car is shot up so S&H invade the dealer's daughter's birthday party and Starsky shoots the kid's pony. So our heroes are suspended.
   Hutch's house is blown up, and the guys go after the dealer again and the coke racket is blown. The dealer runs for his yacht. An attempt to jump onto the yacht puts Starsky's car at the bottom of the Bay. But Huggy is aboard, looking for payback. And Starsky gets another car with go-faster stripes from the ancient originals from the TV series.

[Thursday, 05th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a F1 racer out of scrap? No wonder the Navy and the Jaguar team had 2 days for the job! The Jags put a front-mounted engine at the back of their car, which gave them an upside-down, mirror image gear shift; which didn't seem to faze their driver any. The Navy did a lot of faffing about and they were worried about oversteer with their front-mounted engine. A spin lost them the first round but a slow pit stop cost the Jags round 2. And the Jags' faster racer was in the lead when the Navy's engine broke.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] Build a sand-racer. The Greens planned 6 wheels and a complex drive system, the Reds built light with just a rear-wheel drive, and planned not to get stuck. There was torrential rain, hail and endless problems for the Greens. The Reds had no problems with the hill climb. The Greens lacked grip and had to deflate some tyres. Then they blasted back into contention in round 2. The Reds' suspension/steering broke in round 3, but they got round the course. With no suspension, the Greens battered round the track to win!
The Billikovsky [20:00, Granada] An assault on Barry, a cab driver, led Smiffy & Co. to a pair of lying sisters, who were under the wing of one of Smiffy's earlier contacts. Ellie was busted with a load of dosh. She said it was savings but she was allowed to get away with a parking scam. Ellie claimed the taxi driver tried to rape her, but she was clearly lying. Carmel, her sister, was busted next.
   Barry's wife said the rape charge was ludicrous and he was in the clutches of a loan shark, who turned out to have ruptured his spleen. Carmel bashed him because she'd had an unfortunate upbringing, so she was allowed to walk. And the loan shark was busted.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point, 21:00, Virgin One] Agent Ellison dreamt of digging up Cromartie and Sarah Connor was still on the trail of the Turk. Based on a name written on her basement wall in blood, she invaded a high-tech company pretending to be a potential investor. At Ms Weaver's company, a Dr. Sherman had been killed because the A.I. system had hogged the environmental resources during a power crisis.
   The Yakuza chip maker, who was selling a chip to Sarah's guy, screwed him. Ellison got to interrogate John Henry, the A.I. system, and concluded that it had no ethics and Ms Weaver needed to program in the 10 Commandments.
   Sarah got violent and found that her guy had been scamming her because his chip didn't work and he'd been trying to raise some cash to give his son a future. Derek had an honesty session with Rachel. At the end, Ellison found that John Henry had been downloaded into the Cromartie body!
WW$ Raw [22:30, Sky Sports 3] A wealth of recent history and jawing, then Shane put the Orton gang to flight with a kendo stick. Mickie & Punk versus Layla & Regal was rather clumsily scripted. More WrestleMania history throughout the show. Cody & the 10¢ Punk versus Cryme Tyme was more crap from a rubbish scriptwriter. Jericho with a rant.
   Mysterio & Kofi versus Kane & Mike Knox? That's just plain silly. The little blokes did a lot of leaping about but they were always destined to be killed. Funny how there's always a camera backstage when the Orton gang mugs Shane.
   Glamzilla bashed Candice a bit before administering an implant buster. Finally, Cena and Jericho battered each other for 10 minutes, with the occasional bit of wrestling thrown in, before Jericho tapped out in an STFU.

[Friday, 06th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a bouncing bomb! The Dark Cyans thought of a clay pigeon launcher firing discuses made from the ends of metal beer barrels. The Light Blues chose to tow a launcher vehicle to an abrupt stop to release a spinning barrel.
   The Lights struggled, the Darks raced ahead and they skipped their missile on the first 2 runs, and hit the dam on the 3rd run. The Lights seemed to be doing their best to destory their vehicle, which ended up in a bush after run 2. They destroyed everything on run 3. 10/10 for spectacle but no cigar.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] Build a motorized bowling ball. Both teams came up with a huge wheel with a vehicle in the middle. The Yellows chose a scooter, which was supposed to retract into their wheel. The Blues used a chopped down car and planned to slam the brakes on to tip sections of rail into place to complete their wheels.
   Neither team shone in the first 2 runs. No roll for the Yellows in run 3 but the Blues demonished most of the giant skittles.
NCIS [Leap of Faith, 21:00, Channel 5] Gibbs was talking a jumper down when the guy was shot! And does Abby have a new job? The deceased was an Arabic speaking translator hunting Al Qaida bandits. His boss was a pain in the ass and his shrink clammed up. His last call was from someone at NCIS; from Nicky, a cleanliness freak, who was attached to the team.
   Nicky was looking for a mole and she concluded that the dead lieutenant was the leak. Abby had no plans to leave. Tony upset Agent David by insisting that the Black Widow was the bad guy; that she'd killed her husband for cash. But she turned out to be a Syrian agent!
WW$mackDown! [22:00, Sky Sports 3] A Battle Royal for an Elimination Chamber place to start, so a mass shambles. Koslov put Khali out on his way to killing the rest of the remaining contestants. The Hurricane had to be involved in the crap Matt Hardy script. MVP got a good bashing from Benjamin, so he was the obvious winner of their non-title match.
   Nitro, Mizrabul & Kendrick versus Carliton, Primo and R-Truth was a trip to cheap-shot city. Michelle beat up Eve, who got to do a fair bit on the way to being splatted, then Maria got some pay-back. The Vault: Flair versus Kennedy. Umaga (350 lbs) versus Kung Fu Naki (150 lbs) didn't last long.
   Finally, Edge plus Big Show versus HHH plus Undertaker was all about Big Show saving Edge's ass until he got fed up, sloshed Edge and let Taker finish the fallen scumbag off with a Tombstone pile-driver.

[Saturday, 07th] Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed [19:20, ITV 4] How to: 1. Move an assistant through barriers from one barrel to another; 2. Appearing a bowl of goldfish from thin air; 3. Throw a playing card through a window; 4. Levitation with a vanish in mid-air; 5. Make assistants appear on a pedestal; 6. Spoon bending; 7. Set a World Record for holding your breath underwater in full view of the audience – 18 minutes 51 seconds!!!
Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling [started 20:00, Bravo], also starring Eric Bischoff's white-haired dad, is a training ground for the moves which the professionals do with instructions on how to sell the moves, how to be nasty, how to be an interfering 'manager' and things like that. Fun and CCW doesn't take itself too seriously.
TNA Impact [21:00, Bravo] Kevin Nash with a rant. & Angle. & the Dudleys. The MCMGs versus Creed & Lethal began with an attack on the way to the ring by Beer Money. Creed retired and Lethal faced the Guns alone; until Eric Young joined in, and that was the end for the Guns. Daivari versus the ref Shane Sewell was billed as a grudge match and appropriately violent. The real ref was wiped out so Booger T took over; cue a shambles.
   The Beautiful People versus Taylor & Roxxi was a total shambles. Then Governor Palin assaulted Cute Mr. Ass 'south of the border' and flattened the BP. Shark Boy didn't give Brutus Magnus (the modern day gladiator from the UK) much opposition in a match straight out of the CCW play book. So the fake gladiator demanded better opposition.
   Matt Morgan versus Rhino became Morgan versus Abyss, who dragged along a sackful of tacks but got to use them only on himself. Sting & Angle versus the Dudleys to finish. Angle's story was that he could do it alone without a tag partner. So a night off for Sting, a total shambles created by the ME Mafia, and the Duds ended up Kings of the Ring.

[Sunday, 08th]mr. MONK & the Birds & the Bees [19:00, Hallmark] Mr. Sherman hires a burglar, shoots him then shoots his wife. Monk doesn't buy the killer wiping his feet before treading on the $23,000 carpet or the rest of the story. Monk connects Sherman with the burglar, and Sherman goes after Natalie's daughter, who happens to have a picture of him with the burglar in the background of a t-shirt picture of her with her boyfriend! Which proves to be Mr. Sherman's undoing.
Psych [Disco didn't die. It was murdered., 20:00, Hallmark] The Chief reopened the case which was Shawn's dad's finest hour after Eugene, the guy who tried to blow up the police HQ, was kicked loose by the DA after 30 years. Shawn was told to exclude his dad from the investigation. Like that was going to happen!
   Pooky, Dad's old snout, put the gang on to Derek & Mel, 2 other 1980s urban terrorists, and Dad realized he'd blown the case. Shawn went after their professor, but he turned up dead. Eugene was busted with another bomb. But Shawn exposed Derek & Mel as the professor's killers.
The Pro Bowl [21:30, Sky Sports Xtra] was billed as having an 11:30 kick off in Radio Times. Wrong!
   The NFC started with Kurt Warner & punted. The AFC screwed up with the Wildcat but P. Manning found Gonzalez with a TD pass. 7-0. Mathis sacked Brees, Peppers then Tuck returned the compliment for the NFC. In the 2nd quarter, Carney got the NFC on the scoreboard with a FG. 7-3.
   Tuck crashed into another Wildcat and sacked Brown. The AFC went out on downs at the 6" line! But a sack by Freeney made the NFC punt and a TD pass from Collins to Daniels made the score 14-3 with enough time left for a good kick off return and a monster pass to Fitzgerald in the AFC end zone. 14-10 at half time.
   After the AFC punted away their opening possession of the 3rd quarter, Freeney sacked E. Manning. Collins was picked by Winfield but Revis picked E. Manning in the AFC end zone. Allen jumped on Collins for a sack/fumble, which Allen recovered. Then Peterson rushed 10 yards for a TD on the next play to give the NFC a 14-17 lead.
   In the 4th quarter, the AFC ended a 7 minute drive with a trick play. Cutler sneaked the ball to McClain, the left tackle and no one realized what was going on until McClain was in the NFC end zone. 21-17. Smith returned the kick off 55 yards and another TD pass to Fitzgerald put the NFC 21-24 ahead.
   Ware grabbed Cutler's ankle, forcing a hurried pass, which was tipped to Peppers, which set up a 48 yard FG from Carney. 21-27. The AFC went 4 & out and another FG from Carney with 32 seconds left made the score 21-30 and ensured that the NFC collected the $45,000 per man for winning.

[Monday, 09th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a salvage vehicle to recover a car stuck in swampy terrain. The Purples attached a trailer to a tractor, and then removed the tractor's front wheels! The Yellows strapped a flat-bed onto the back of a dumper truck.
   The Yellows negotiated the recovery course successfully with a lot of their car dangling off the back of their flat bed, and they found that they could get up the hills going backwards! The faster Purples had to be towed out of a bog-down, and when the link between their tractor & trailer broke, that was their day over.
Scrapheap Challenge [19:00, Discovery Science] Build a jet-powered boat. The Reds built an impellor driven by a petrol engine, the Greens ended up with a massive boat with a 10-ton centrifugal pump and an under-powered diesel engine. The Reds' boat was wobbly but it won the first round by a couple of seconds. Cue the slalom round. The Greens' backwards steering proved tricky to use, and their radiator hose came off. The Reds did brilliant!
Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed [20:00, ITV 4] showed us how to: 1. Vanish a motorbike in mid-air; 2. Fish for a playing card; 3. Push pencils through a balloon; 4. Do a phoney seance; 5. Self-levitation; 6. Thread a needle inside an assistant; 7. Illuminate an unplugged light bulb; 8. Make a Hummer appear in a car park.
Ultraviolet (2006) [21:00, Fiver] The Americans have released a virus into a CGI world and created haemophages, (vampires) and there's a resistance movement fighting a blood war with the humans. An agent is given the job of delivering a case containing a weapon but Violet the vampire takes her place, slays lots of guards and escapes with the weapon.
   Violet finds a child in the case. The kid contains an antigen which could kill every human on the planet. He's a clone and his 'father' wants to hold the rest of the human race to ransom to keep them in order. The kid croaks. Violet is shot but Garth brings her back. The kid wrote down the basis of a cure for the haemophagic virus so Violet goes after him.
   Millions more guards are slain, and also the kid's 'father'. Violet, a frustrated mother, brings the dead kid back to life.

[Tuesday, 10th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a car driven by a propellor. The Blues found the only Reliant Robin and used its engine to drive a steerable fan. The Reds put an engine and a fixed propellor on a trailer and build rudders. Their steering was rubbish on the slalom course but the Blues did great. The Blues were a bit slower in the sprint round but fast enough to win.
Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a motorized rowing boat. The Dark Cyans mounted a cement mixer on a huge boat. The Greens used bits of a Morris Minor and made a boat out of the holey frame of a conveyor belt, which leaked a bit. They didn't have much steering in round 1 but the Cyans had no rowing. The Greens shed oars & rowlocks in round 2 and the Cyans went nowhere. The Greens finally made it round the course in round 3. The Cyans also finished but took FOREVER.
NCIS [Iced, 20:00, FX] Two kids found the body of a Marine sergeant in ice on a lake, and when NCIS arrived, they found 3 more corpses, all gang-bangers. The Director was worried about the sergeant's unit starting a war with the gang-bangers, who had killed another Marine in a drive-by, so the unit was held in Iraq. Abby came up with a missing shooter and Gibbs homed in on a lance-corporal; the best buddy of the first dead Marine.
   McGee ID'd the missing man; Caesar, who was trying to take over the gang. Gibbs got Abby to explain to the gang members that the sergeant didn't kill their buddies, it was Caesar, who had also killed the gang leader but who was pretending he was still alive in El Salvador. Then Gibbs threw Caesar to the wolves and brought the Marines home.
CSI:Las Vegas [Leave out All the Rest, 21:00, Channel 5] The body of a guy who'd been tied under a vehicle was found in the pouring rain. The episode was mainly about Sara sending a video message to gloomy Grissom to tell her she was okay without him. An S&M connection sent Grissom back to Lady Heather.
   Capt. Brass & Nick invaded an amateur S&M club's back room. The dead man's girlfriend, what was left of her, turned up in a burnt-out car. She'd been run over by her own SUV, which had been used to transport the dead guy. He'd been tied under it but the nylon ropes had melted.
   Lady Heather psychoanalysed Grissom, who ended up shacked in her spare room. Meanwhile, the CSIs still working decided there was a bit missing from the, as yet, unsolved case.

[Wednesday, 11th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a low-profile, James Bond scout car. The Orange team joined 2 Fiats with a hinge to reduce the wheelbase but allow it to flatten to pass under a barrier 2 feet high. The Blues did a lot of searching then strapped a trailer and a side rack to a motor mower. The trailer came off after the mower had negotiated the ramp, but they finished the course. The Oranges got stuck at the ramp.
Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] Build a landing craft powered by the vehicle it carries to rescue the expert from an island. The Purples built an oil drum catamaran and used front wheel drive for the car and rear wheel drive, disconnected, for a propeller.
   The Blues build rollers attached to paddles on a huge, holey pontoon and drove the rollers with the rear wheels of their car. The paddles thrashed up a lot of spray but didn't deliver much speed. The Purples raced ahead but nearly made a bog of driving ashore. The Blues left one of their team adrift after driving their car ashore!
Cyclops (2008) [20:00, Sci-Fi] A cyclops is threatening Rome so Tiberius Caesar sends Marcus to deal with it. He captures the creature and brings it to Rome in chains. Tiberius makes him a Tribune, greedy bugger Marcus asks for a land grant and ends up demoted. Falco, the Emperor's nephew, suggests that the cyclops is used to kill criminals in the arena. The cyclops and Falco's slaves escape.
   Marcus recaptures the cyclops and ends up under arrest when he has to recapture the slaves with Falco in charge. So Marcus the gladiator has to perform in Tiberius' 3-day Victory Games. Marcus feeds the cyclops and makes him an ally. Marcus & a tag team partner start fighting the Cyclops in the arena and a shambles ensues. Tiberius, the cyclops and Falco all end up dead and Marcus is the last man standing.

[Thursday, 12th] The Bill [20:00, Granda] Sun Hill's plods attended a bogus burgalry then a bashed bloke called Wesley. Was he at a teenage girl's unauthorized party? Aubrey, the burglar & dealer, dropped into the frame as Wesley used to work for him. Aubrey was busted & bailed. Manny, Wesley's best mate, lied to the police and was busted.
   The girl who gave the party said Wesley rescued her from Aubrey's rape attempt. Aubrey got himself stabbed with his own knife, held by Manny, but Manny got away with it so that PC Nate could get a date with his sister.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [Self-Made Man, 21:00, Virgin One] While visiting Eric, the wheelchair guy at the library, Cameron spotted a Terminator in a picture taken at a speakeasy fire on 1920/12/31. She began finding out why the Terminator was so far back in the past. Meanwhile, Riley pretended to be in distress to lure John Connor to a party.
   Cameron found that Stark, the Terminator, robbed banks, went into the construction business and ruined Mr. Chandler, the biggest builder in the area. And the fire was started by Stark's arrival in 1920 and it killed Chandler's son. Stark disappeared in 1925 but Cameron remembered an assassination in 2010 and found Stark hiding in a building, which he had erected on a prime piece of land bought from Chandler.
   Cameron did serious damage to the building and terminated Stark. Then she told the librarian that his bone cancer was back and made friends with his replacement.
WW$ Raw [22:30, Sky Sports 3] Mr. Woooo! returned so Jericho slagged him off until Flair smacked him in the gob. The Divas had a tag match and Melina received an implant-buster from Glamzilla. Cryme Tyme versus Orton's sidekicks again was an expression of the paucity of the scriptwriter's imagination. Kane, Knox & Jericho versus Mysterio, Kofi and Cena was along the same lines.
   Mark Henry versus Shawn Michaels was part of the lame Bradshaw slavery story. Punk versus Regal again went to a knee in the mush for King Billy. Finally, Undertaker versus Orton turned into more crap from the Orton scriptwriter then a Shane McMahon dustbin special off the post for the 10¢ Punk.

[Friday, 13th] NCIS [Chimera, 21:00, Channel 5] A crewman died on USS Chimera, a top secret research vessel. NCIS was told to extract the body and not ask questions. Gibbs & Co. landed on a ghost ship. They found the body in a freezer and Dr. Mallard reckoned they could all be dead by morning if they'd been exposed to viral haemorrhagic fever. The guy on shore in charge of the ship kept giving the Director the runaround, so she short-circuited him.
   There was a crazy guy in the electrical room. Gibbs got to bash another lurking crew member; the communications officer. He had done a deal with the Russians, who were planning to assault the ship to recover Soviet nuclear weapons, which Chimera had recovered by stealth.
   Gibbs & Co. left the Russians stranded on Chimera and strolled off in their boat with the nukes. Which was just as well as the US Navy demolished Chimera without bothering to find if the NCIS guys were out of the danger zone.

[Saturday, 14th] WW$mackDown! [16:00, Sky Sports 3] Edge with a whinge and Big Show mocked him. MVP versus Chavo was a vehicle for Benjamin to run in and give MVP a stunner. Carlito & Primo versus Nitro & Mizrabul for a date with the Bella twins ended with the Puerto Ricans out-swindled by the Yanquis. The Vault: Orton versus Cena. A rant from Jeff Hardy. R-Truth versus E. Jackson looked like it was going to be an annihilation but Mr. Truth snuck up on Jackson for a pin.
   Michelle Uncool crunched Maria's left leg a lot. Then Eve joined in and Maria sneaked a 'win'. Finally, HHH, Big Show, Undertaker and Koslov had a Fatal Four-Way. Koslov vanished quite quickly then Taker took a rest. Then HHH. And it all fizzled out with a totally lame ending after an Edge run-in.
Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed [19:15, ITV 4] How to: 1. Vanish an assistant strapped to a metal panel; 2. Squash an assistant in the Box of Death; 3. Duplicate an assistant's drawing; 4. Convert anti-matter to matter; 5. Tie a shoelace by magic; 6. Levitation without wires; 7. Change a red handkerchief into a yellow one; 8. Pass through a solid sheet of glass.
TNA Impact [21:00, Bravo] Kurt Angle wouldn't tag out at first in his tag match with Sting against the Dudleys, then he wouldn't tag in. Then he got into a shoving match with Sting and a brawl after Angle lost the match. AJ beat up Booger T in his boudoir. The Big Fat Fruity Baddy went no-DQ against Petey Williams, humiliated the Canadian midget and confiscated his chain-mail hat. The Knockouts began a 9-woman riot.
Over to ECW Late Night [22:00, Sky Sports 3] Last week, Finlay handed Swagger his first defeat, so he had nothing to grin about during his whinge. Enter Christian now that TNA has finished with him. Dreamer versus Mizrabul was another humiliation for the veteran. Canadian Tyson Kidd made his debut against a Vietnamese unknown. Christian & Swagger gave each other a good battering for a fair time, in and out of the ring, Finlay bashed Swagger with his club while the ref wasn't looking and the chump was pinned again.
Back to TNA on Bravo+1 and the Knockout brawl, which put Sojourner of the Kongtourage in a title shot with the boss. The MCMGs versus Creed & Lethal again was full of fast action and pay-back against the Guns for last week. So a display of sore losership by the Guns. The modern-day gladiator was non-plussed by ODB backstage.
   Abyss & Rhino versus Beer Money and the ref was a total shambles and all about Matt Morgan joining in to slay Abyss with a steel chair. Hardecore History 101 with Mick Foley. Then Sting didn't lie down and hand his title to Angle and the Mafia did a lot of jawing & posturing.

[Sunday, 15th] mr MONK and the buried treasure [19:00, Hallmark] Dr. Kroger's kid and his 2 mates stole a treasure map, his phone and his wallet from a dead guy, then bamboozled Monk, who was eager to do his shrink a favour, to help them find the treasure. Which turned out to be loot from a bank robbery. The truth dawned on Monk, who decided he had to keep the kid out of gaol. Which got the pair of them buried at a quarry. But they were saved by heavy metal and Lt. Randy's weak bladder.
Psyche [There Might Be Blood, 20:00, Hallmark] Shawn & Gus ended up stuck between the police chief and her sister, the coastguard, in a row over jurisdiction when a safety officer was killed on an oil rig. Shawn & Gus found a geologist dead at the safety officer's house. Hicks killed the professor and was murdered in his turn.
   Shawn & Gus sneaked back aboard the oil rig and found that it was drilling into a fault line after reporting a false position. The lads assumed that the ancient oil man was behind all the trouble; but it turned out to be his crazy daughter. But Shawn was able to defuse her after the police & coastguard had shot up the oil rig.
Mission Impossible III (2006) [21:00, Channel 4] Ethan Hunt was sent to extract Agent Ferris from the clutches of Davian, an arms dealer. Ethan & his IMF got her out but Ferris croaked because of a detonator shoved up her nose. Ethan received a posthumous message from Ferris to say Davian was selling the 'Rabbit's Foot' for $850M.
   Ethan married Julia then he got involved in a scheme to kidnap Davian from the Vatican. The plan worked but a traitor at HQ extracted Davian, who grabbed Julia. The boss, who was Ethan's prime suspect for the leak, had him grabbed but Ethan had an ally, who helped him to escape to Shanghai. His IMF joined him there to go after the Rabbit's Foot.
   Ethan ended up Davian's prisoner with a detonator shoved up his nose. Ethan's ally was the traitor! Davian was creamed by a truck. Ethan got Julia to electrocute him to neutralize the detonator. Then he had to tell Julia what they were doing in Red China.

[Monday, 16th] Scrapheap Challenge [18:00, Discovery Science] was a grand final with a 2-day build of a Monster Towing Vehicle. The Pinks, who had never been beaten, really struggled while the Greens swanned through the job. They towed 1.3 tons of logs then 5 tons with no difficulty. A wheel came off the Pink vehicle with 5 tons. The Greens then tried to tow 8 tons and wrecked their vehicle.
Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed [20:00, ITV 4] showed us how to: 1. Make assistants appear from a triangle of screens; 2. Turn a cup of coffee into a cup of coins; 3. Make live birds appear & disappear; 4. Cut & restore playing cards in a box; 5. Crush an assistant and perforate her middle; 6. Write the name on a burnt bit of paper on the magician's arm; 7. Turn a dollar bill into a fifty; 8. Make a 16-ton San Francisco trolley car levitate & vanish.
WW$ No Way Out [21:00, Sky Sports 3] The $mackDown Elimination Chamber to start. Undertaker, Big Show, Koslov & HHH went into pods while Jeff Hardy started with Edge and pinned him. Exit the chump. Big Show gave Jeff a tough time. HHH then the Demon of Death Valley joined in. Koslov took a Last Ride. Big Show was zapped while our useless bastard Virgin Media box was frozen and unresponsive.
   Jeff Hardy took a Tombstone and finally, after an hour, Taker lay down for HHH. Orton versus Shane McMahon started as boxing and went into slow motion. Orton's punks joined in but Shane sorted them out. Then he crashed & burned on the announce table trying to leap onto Orton from the post. Orton was steel-chaired, then a totally lame finish from Orton's scriptwriter.
   Finlay versus Swagger didn't last long before Finlay was splatted. Bradshaw versus HBK saw our heroes batter each other in and out of the ring and get to lots of almost finishes. Finally, the Has Been Kid went into his posturing routine and emancipated himself with a big boot to Bradshaw's mush. Relief! That tedious story line has finished.
   Finally, the RAW Elimination Chamber, Cena, Knox, Kane & Kofi should have been in the pods, but the scriptwriter had Edge attack Kofi and take his place. Mysterio & Jericho started off. Kane was released and Mysterio put him away with a leap off a pod. Knox attacked Mysterio but Jericho zapped him. Mysterio got to bash Edge, who saw off Cena. Mysterio saw off Jericho then he had to lie down for Edge. Looks like the scriptwriter is a Labour member of the House of Lords on the take after this effort.

[Tuesday, 17th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Adam & Jamie were trying to find out if "death by flatulence" in a sealed room is possible. Adam provided a gas sample, which contained methyl mercaptan, hydrogen sulphide, carbon dioxide and methane as well as air.
   The guys decided that the flatulator would have to stay in the sealed room for 4-20 years to build up a lethal concentration of the nasties. Busted. They also tested meat, beanz and fizzy drinks for their flatulence increasing properties. Meat had no effect, the others increased the "toot" rate.
   Could Ben Franklin have flown a kite in a storm, seen a spark go from a key on the string to his finger and invented electricity as a result? The Juniors confirmed that a wet kite string can transmit a huge charge to the key; enough to kill anyone who touches the key!
CSI:Las Vegas [Say Uncle, 21:00, Channel 5] Murder in Koreatown, the witnesses at the street party clammed up and there was a missing child witness. Captain Brass uncovered a lead to the KD extortion gang, which was a red herring. The kid was HIV+ and the victims of the shooting were his uncle and his mom. He was found with a stroppy, gun-toting Korean woman.
   Mom was living with a KD gangster but getting cash from a dodgy doctor, who was over-medicating the kid with drugs being tested. Riley thought mom & the uncle had shot each other but Grisson decided the uncle had tried to rescue the kid from mom and the drug trial, she shot the uncle and the kid shot her.

[Wednesday, 18th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Can a helium-filled raft carry a person into the air? The Mythbusters' inflatable stayed grounded, so Adam & Jamie tried to make a 2-tier raft out of 750 metres of plastic tubing. Which took AGES to fill. They tried to tack two layers together with tape but Adam fell through the structure and they decided it was too big and too fragile to work; Myth Busted.
   The Juniors investigated whether mobile phones can disrupt aircraft instruments. They emit frequencies which can do it in a Faraday cage, but out at the airport on a real aircraft; nothing. Aircraft system are very well shielded but new types of mobile phone come out regularly and the Juniors concluded it was just the FAA and its cousins being cautious.
Sci-Fi Saved My Life: The Terminator [19:00, Discovery Science] was about how James Cameron's 1984 film and the 2 sequels changed our lives. It started with a look at all sorts of robots & cyborgs. After that, an excursion into whether time travel could be possible. Will one computer eventually control the world? It could happen. And who will inherit the Earth after the inevitable nuclear holocaust?

[Thursday, 19th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Are bullets shot straight up into the air lethal? Adam & Jamie worked out that 9 mm pistol bullets and .30 calibre rifle bullets will reach a terminal velocity of 150 ft/second, and bullets going at that speed bounced off a pig's skull. But an expert contributed X-rays of patients killed & injured by bullets shot into the air.
   The Juniors tackled vodka myths. It's no good for relieving the rash of poison oak, a water/vodka mix is a substitute for a commercial ice pack and filtering cheap vodka 6 times improves it but it doesn't turn it into top-shelf stuff.
   Adam & Jamie headed out into the desert for more shooting. They found that bullets fired straight up came down sideways with non-lethal force. But they decided that bullets fired at an angle which allow them to follow a ballistic trajectory can come down and kill.
The Bill [20:00, Granada] A woman barged into by a stabbed Asian girl sent PC Nate to St. Hugh's where he ran into obstruction by his girlfriend. DC Will found the girl but she didn't want nuffink to do with the cops. Some creepy guy was stalking Ayisha, the police busted an Asian kid but he turned out to be the wrong one.
   Ayisha & her parents were illegals, which explained why they didn't want to make no waves. Colin, the stalker, did a runner & kidnapped Ayisha. But he was busted. PC Nate did his best to square things with the Immigration mob but he was still dumped.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [Alpine Fields, 21:00, Virgin One] Derek was messing about with an injured woman, who was about to give birth, and her daughter, Lauren. Six months earlier, Sarah Connor & Co. had tried to round the family up at gunpoint because they were on her target list and a Terminator was about to take them out. Derek met Lauren in 2027, when he was going after the survivor of a plague, who was expected to be able to provide a cure.
   Lauren's Dad was a banker doing illegal stuff for a cybernetics firm. And Mom was having an affair with Roger, the neighbour, who turned out to be the father of Sydney, the daughter she would have in 6 months' time. Derek & a lady Aussie from a nuclear sub both caught the plague while rescuing the survivor; who turned out to by Sydney.
   At the end of the episode in 2007, Mom died after giving birth and Lauren took off with her newborn sister.
WW$ Raw [22:00, Sky Sports 3] Loadsa jawing to start. Punk & Cryme Tyme versus Regal, Rhodes & the 10¢ Punk was a shambles scripted to favour the heels. Roddy Piper was dragged out of his coffin to rant at Jericho. Kane killed Jamie Noble in about half a minute. Jawing by Bradshaw & HBK.
   Mysterio had to let Mike Knox kill him a lot more; but he was allowed to spring a surprise pin this week. Melina versus Glamzilla turned into a gang attack on Santino & Rosa on the outside while the beefy one was being pinned in the ring. Finally, Shane & Orton had a brawl, the sidekicks joined in and Shane had his head booted. And Stephanie was also flattened.

[Friday, 20th] ECW Late Night [00:00, Sky Sports 3] A recap of Swagger losing to Christian last week. Tommy Dreamer, would-be ECW Champ, lost to Nitro tonight. Tyson Kidd booted another unknown to bits. Finally, Swagger & Henry versus Christian & Finlay became bodies flying everywhere, the sidekicks joined in and Christian zapped Swagger again.
Mythbusters Revisits [18:00, Discovery+1] Viewers complained about the bows, arrow shafts and arrowheads used by the Juniors when they busted the myth of Robin Hood being able to split an arrow stuck in a target. So they laboured mightily with authentic materials; and busted the myth all over again. But an expert archer was able to split a cheat arrow with a bamboo shaft – and with his first shot!
   The Confederate hybrid rocket: could salami be used as the fuel? A trial rocket exploded on the stand because the salami fuel was too powerful when the nitrous oxide hit it! So Adam & Jamie had to build a smaller rocket. And the salami worked, sort of. The first rocket cleared the launcher, then pinwheeled.
   Do guns work submerged? The Juniors found that a 9 mm bullet went 18 feet when the gun was fired submerged, but only one shot was possible as the ejection system didn't work. A shotgun exploded and a rifle bullet was non-lethal. But the hand-guns were. Their bullets disappeared but they were found buried in the ballistics gel target.
Really BIG Things [19:00, Discovery Science] has a very enthusiastic American presenter, who travelled to the Mississippi to watch the laying of huge mats of concrete blocks to protect the banks. Off to a copper mine in Sweden to see its monster crusher and rammer-hammer, and monster mills. Finally, to the world's biggest paper-making machine, also in Sweden. The enthusiasm gets a bit wearing quite quickly.
Taggart [Cold Read, 21:00, Granada] A hockey player disappeared on the way home and her mother introduced Clare, the psychic, to a very sceptical DCI Burke. Clare said Elaine was dead in woods, then she was shot at (how come she didn't see that coming?) in the theatre, where her flagging show had been revived by the publicity. The polis shoved into the frame Morag, with whom Elaine had flirted to get on the team, and her brother, who converted blank-firing guns.
   Elaine's body was found with the psychic's help. Someone tried to frame Morag by planting a bloody hockey stick in her locker but her brother gave her an alibi. The polis found that the psychic was lying about being shot at, and she and her manager were done for the murder; a publicity stunt which had gone too far. Then Clare claimed to be a genuine psychic despite being a rotten criminal.
WW$mackDown! [22:00, Sky Sports 3] Edge & Jeff Hardy jawing. Michelle & Maryse versus Eve & Maria was a trip to cheap shot city for the blondes. Pie in the mush for the Bellas at their Valentine's Day double date. R-Truth was zapped before a match with MVP against Chavo & Benjamin, which became a handicap match. Predictably, Chavo turned on his partner and MVP pinned Benjamin.
   The Vault: Mysterio versus Matt Hardy. A rehash of the crap Orton story. Umaga killed another stooge. Finally, Edge & Jeff Hardy pounded each other for so long that they went into slow motion. And, predictably, Matt Hardy attacked his brother and it all fizzled out.

[Saturday, 21st] The Time Team [19:00, Channel 4] went looking for a long-lost Norman castle at Radcot in Oxfordshire on a site which had been an island surrounded by swamps. They had lots of interesting geophys to guide them. Roman & mediaeval pottery turned up right away, suggesting there had been a Roman villa or settlement on the site, which was blighted by a massive earthwork put up by Cromwell's forces.
   A 4-metres wide wall in Phil's trench, plus 12th & 13th century pottery, marked the site of a castle keep, which was demolished at the end of the 12th century after the civil war between Stephen & Matilda. On wet Day 3, the team messed about with a Norman trebuchet and found the boundary ditch of a Roman settlement, the remains of which lie under the keep.
TNA Impact [21:00, Bravo] Lots of plot to start. Creed & Lethal jumped the Guns backstage and battled out to the ring for a ppv-quality match and a great start to the show. A.J. killed Booger T. backstage. Abyss in therapy. Brutus the Gladdy + Daivari + Morgan versus ref Sewell + LAX turned into a massacre of the heels. More of Mick Foley's Hardcore history.
   Angelina versus Taylor also involved their gangs. Cute Kip was evicted from ringside, which let Roxxi & the Gov. outnumber Velvet while Taylor saw off Angelina. Eric Young & Petey Williams versus Beer Money in a "You lose, you leave" match had Earl Hebner, minus his guide dog, as ref (ensuring a shambles) and Mr. Williams seems to have reached the end of his contract.
   Finally, everyone had to leave the arena so that Angle & Sting could bash each other all over the building in private. Which they did for a while. Then it all fizzled out when Angle wimped out and the rest of the MEM butted in.
NCIS [Requiem, 23:00, Channel 5] Tony fished Gibbs & a girl out of a sunken car after a shoot-out. 24 hours earlier, Maddie, the best friend of Kelly, Gibbs' dead daughter, came to him for help because a Marine just back from Iraq was stalking her. Gibbs warned him off then Maddie was kidnapped. But Sgt. Haas was found nailed to a floor and dead before Maddie was grabbed.
   Haas was being tracked by Mr. Bordais' firm. Cue a clash with a stooge from the Pentagon before NCIS learnt that Haas had been approached to repatriate $4M of the $8B stolen in Iraq and he'd gotten greedy. Gibbs contacted the kidnappers and offered to swap Maddie for the cash. Tony saw him drive off a dock under fire, and joined in. And Gibbs recovered some memories buried by Kelly.

[Sunday, 22nd] Monk [19:00, Hallmark] Harold, another of Dr. Kroger's patients with a fear of heights, suddenly became famous as the Frisco Fly after he fell of a building, which he seemed to have climbed. Monk wanted to know how Dr. Kroger had made his fear disappear. Dr. Kroger said it wasn't him. Meanwhile, the police were investigating a burnt-out car, which had gone off the road accidentally.
   Natalie put Monk, now a basket case, on suicide watch. Lt. Randy proved that the driver in the crash was the real Frisco Fly. Then Harold's homicidal cousin lured him to the roof of his hospital because he wanted to do Harold in to inherit everything from a rich uncle. And Monk overcame his fear of heights to save Natalie from the cousin on the roof.
Psyche [Talk Derby To Me, 20:00, Hallmark] Shawn deduced that a robbery at a jewellery store had been committed by women and Jules went undercover with a ladies' roller derby team. She screwed up a music video shoot with a misdirected bust. Shawn & Gus watched one of the team dump a body; only it was just a mannequin.
   One of the bad girls saw the police activity at the dump site, so the dumper ended up dead and Jules was in trouble. Shawn found that the thieves had been stealing identies from credit card applications. Gus joined in the roller derby to save Jules and the bad gals were busted.
A1 GP of South Africa replay [21:00, Sky Sports 2] The Dutch driver ran off and hid from pole in the sprint race. There was a bit of overtaking as India became a mobile chicane. The British car was punted into the gravel by the Brazilian car with 5 laps to go. Nothing else happened.
   Monaco went into the lead in the feature race, but a screwed-up pit stop meant a 3rd place finish. Ireland, the series leader, was shunted into the gravel on the first lap. New Zealand was crashed out by Malaysia, and France & Mexico went out at the same corner.
   Malaysia got a good jeer from the crowd when the driver spun off, went to the pits and returned a long way down to try for fastest lap points. Australia got stuck in the pits. South Africa's car croaked about half way. And Switzerland had an easy win in front of Brazil.

[Monday, 23rd] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Does Mr. Bean's "Decorating with Dynamite" by putting it in a tin of paint work? Adam & Jamie built their own room, tried it and wrecked the room! Busted. But they decided to try to recreate the effect in their own ways. Adam's detonation cord surrounded by tubes of paint gave patchy results, Jamie's shaped charges of paint created instant action paintings. Still busted.
   The Juniors tackled the thought control myth. The $300 helmet off the internet was a bust. So they set up a testing lab and attached brain wave measuring gear to members of the crew. Of the 5 methods used, they decided that two were plausible (out of sheer generosity?) because there might have been some effect on the victims's brain waves, and the others were ineffective.
Nothing else much on TV so we fired up the DVD player and watched the "collector's edition" of Lawrence of Arabia (1962), which runs for 3 hours 40 minutes, and comes on 2 disks so that the audience can take advantage of a planned intermission. This version is 'painstakingly restored' and includes 'lost scenes', which explains why the editing is rather abrupt and clumsy in places.

[Tuesday, 24th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Adam & Jamie checked out devices for reducing petrol consumption while the Juniors looked at an urban myth of exploding farmers' trousers from the 1930s. Denim coated with fertilizer, gunpowder and gun cotton all failed to ignite but a 1930s herbicide caught fire and the denim exploded when hit with a big hammer. And the washed herbicide/denim caught fire when exposed to radiant heat.
   Magnets, a miracle carburetor and adding 1 part of acetone per 500 parts of gasoline had no effect on mileage and Adam's fuel cell didn't produce enough hydrogen to run the engine. So Jamie attached a hydrogen cylinder and nearly blew the engine up! A diesel engine ran okay on free used cooking oil, but Myth Busted.
   The Juniors added sugar to their herbicide brew as an accelerant and impregnated some dungarees. Buster went up in violent flames when his trousers were detonated but no explosion. So Frank of the FBI blew Buster to bits with some proper explosive and the Juniors declared Myth Confirmed for herbicide.
CSI:Las Vegas [Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda, 21:00, Channel 5] The Rowe family was shot to bits, so Captain Brass went after the husband. Nick investigated 2 dead teenagers in a crashed car and found that they were vandals, who got what they deserved. So he persecuted the innocent victim of their vandalism. Mr. Rowe was suspected of killing a guy called Murphy, whose son was sending him death threats.
   Meanwhile, Grissom was messing about in a court, which had to decide if the Miniature Killer is now sane enough to be in gaol. The police caught up with Murphy's daughter as she was making Rowe dig up her father's body at gunpoint. Then she shot Rowe and the cops blew her away.

[Wednesday, 25th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Did Archimedes design a steam cannon? Jamie's small scale model flopped but an expert gave the guys some pointers. Jamie & Adam used modern materials to build a cannon with a 20-foot barrel for an 11 kg iron cannonball; which just trickled out of the red-hot barrel when they injected water. Myth busted.
   Is the cardboard of a cereal box more nutritious than the contents? Adam confused calories from burning with calories from digestion; the human body can't digest the cellulose in cardboard. But Adam declared the myth busted anyway.
   Which of the Mythbusters, Juniors included, has the worst teeth? Adam's were nominated by the fans and a colour test confirmed the myth.
   To get their cannon to work, A&J strapped on a boiler with a quick release valve. They managed only 68 psi, rather than the 200 psi that they wanted, but BOOM! The cannonball ended up 1.5 kilometres away. But myth still busted.
Voyages of Discovery: Ice King [21:00, UKTV History] told the story of Fridtjof Nansen's attempt to reach the North Pole in 1892 by letting his ship Fram be trapped in ice in the hope that it would drift to the pole. When he found that the Arctic Sea, which he expected to be shallow, was 4 km deep, he realized his calculations were off and he and a companion tried to make the pole on foot. But they found that they were going north on ice which was drifting south at least as fast as their pace.
   They turned back, got lost because their map was useless, and had to survive in temperatures going down to -45 deg.C. Hibernating in a hole proved effective. After 15 months, they met an expedition led by the Englishman Mr. Jackson, whom Nansen had rejected from his own expedition because he wanted to claim the pole for Norway, and Jackson returned Nansen to Fram and he got back to his family after an absence of 3 years.

[Thursday, 26th] Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] Can whirlpools swallow ships & people? Adam & Jamie built a huge tank for 40,000 litres of water and concluded that no whirlpool on the planet can go fast enough to swallow a container ship or a trawler. But a 14 mph whirlpool made Adam puke and confirmed the myth for people.
   The Juniors investigated whether a snow plough can generate enough air pressure to flip a passing car. Their junked snow plough gave them endless trouble and Grant forgot to apply the brakes in their final test. Result: the plough, the 'victim' vehicle and the set were all trashed. But the myth was busted.
The Bill [20:00, Granada] The uniforms ran into a Pole on Pole extortion racket involving a knife-carrying yob called Pavel. DS Max, whose mother is Polish, put himself about at a polish club, met Julie and went after Marek. DI Nixon got her knickers in a twist when she found out that Max had shot Marek's brother while in SO19, and Pavel was the son of the dead brother.
   One of his gang was busted and said that Marek was planning a hijack of ciggies worth £250K. Sun Hill's finest, and SO19 laid an ambush at a yard owned by Julie's uncle. The rest of the gang was busted but Marek was a no-show, and there was cocaine with the ciggies and Julie's uncle ended up shot.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [Earthlings Welcome Here] Sarah went to a UFOlogist conference on the trail of a blogger called Abraham, who may have worked on endoskeleton material. A flashback to when Riley and her keeper Jessie were delivered from the future to 2007. Later, Jessie told Riley that her only job is to keep John Conner from HER. In the present, Riley was helping John with the decorating. Abraham turned out to be Ellen Park, a woman whom Sarah met at the conference. Ellen was on the run from her employer, who had tried to kill her.
   Ellen almost got Sarah killed, trying to recover a metal sample, which had gone. Riley slit her wrists. Sarah had Ellen hypnotized to find out where she worked. Ellen turned up dead. Sarah went to the remote warehouse and got herself shot before killing the security guard. She then saw a spaceship-like object hovering over her before she passed out.
Over to WW$ Raw [started 21:30, Sky Sports Xtra] to see Punk doing battle with Nitro & Mizrabul for a place in the Ladder Match at Wrestlemania, and putting the scumbags away. Melina & Cryme Tyme took on Glamzilla, Santino and Ziggler. The ladies did a bit, Ziggler did a lot more and Chad killed Santino about 2 seconds after he got into the ring.
   The Has Been Kid & Bradshaw delivered mayhem to each other, in and out of the ring, until it was time for Bradshaw to take a big boot in the mush and Michaels to book himself a shot at Undertaker at Wrestlemania. If he beats Koslov next week. So cue a cheap shot from the Russian.
   Jamie Noble had to last more than 15 seconds against Mike Knox to convince himself he has a shot at Wrestlemania. He managed all of 29 seconds. A personal appearance by Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat, who's going into the WW$ Hall of Shame, and a cheap shot by Jericho. Cena versus Chavo Sux lasted about 1 minute. Then the Orton gang postured and HHH ran them out of town. So not much wrestling tonight by the highest paid guys.
ECW Late Night [23:30, Sky Sports Xtra] Gabriel versus Mark Henry lasted a lot longer than the audience expected, but the white guy was splattered eventually. Tyson Kidd went up against another unknown. Impressive? No. Tommy Dreamer versus Paul Burchill involved the Boogerman sneaking up on Katie from beneath the ring and Dreamer sneaking up on her brother for a pin.
   Finally, Christian & Swagger had a lengthy battle for the ECW title, egged on by lots of hype from the announce table. Christian kept self-destructing and it was no surprise when he was splatted at the end.

[Friday, 27th] The Mythbusters [18:00, Discovery+1] were doing Hollywood myths about robbery. Climbing a vertical ventilation duct with magenets or vacuum pads was busted because it's just too loud. The security industry doesn't use lasers which can be made visible with face powder. Night vision equipment doesn't show beams, which can be avoided.
   Laser substitution using the bad guy's lasers could work. Carrie's optical doorway needed the co-operation of the security staff. You can't cut & remove a circle of glass with a suction cup. Sticking down a pressure pad with gum? Busted. Using a stethoscope to crack a safe? Busted. And when Adam tried to climb a 23-storey building with his vacuum system, he ran out of puff fifty feet up. Proof of concept for an Olympic athlete.
NCIS [Designated Target, 21:00, Channel 5] A naval officer was whacked in a taxi but Gibbs & Co. found that the driver was the target. And the killers had got the wrong guy; he was the 4th in a string of wrong guys. The real target was a political agitator from Burundi, who had been smuggled to the USA by a guy from the State Dept.
   McGee was being harassed by a rich neighbour, who had stolen his credit card details for fun, and Abby was off caffein and even more wacko. The State Dept. guy, now out of the service, was busted for selling info to terrorists in Burundi. The hit squad was filled full of lead and Thomas, the refugee, was reunited with his wife. Only he'd assumed she'd been murdered and married again.
WW$mackDown! [23:00, Sky Sports 3] Cena with a rant. Primo & Carlito versus Nitro & Mizrabul was full of action & cheating, and the Colon bros getting to win was a total surprise. The Vault: Steve Austin versus The Rack! Unbeaten Koslov versus Undertaker was unreconstructed battering with Koslov getting to keep his streak going so he can face Undertaker at WrestleMania in a battle of the Unbeatens.
   The Hardys did some jawing but no wrassling. Benjamin versus Chavo Sux was all about chucking Chavo at MVP at the announce table, Chavo humiliating Benjamin with a pin and MVP delivering a cheap shot. Cena versus Big Show involved a lot of staggering by Cena, mucho clobbering by Big Show, and there was no lucky break for the ex-champ in the script.

[Saturday, 28th] Megamovers [18:00, History+1] A 1962 'ultimate space age' terminal building had to be moved from one part of JFK airport to another. So lots of internal shoring, the usual support structure of steel beams, transporter trucks out of Thunderbirds by the dozen and the programme-makers tried to scrape up every possible crisis. And a couple of other airport building moves worthy of entries in the Guinness Book of Records were thrown in to make up an interesting hour.
Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed 2 [18:45, ITV 4] showed us how to: 1. Avoid crushing an assistant with a box of assistants lowered on to her; 2. Teleportation with twins; 3. Give an assistant arms of steel; 4. The vanishing scarf effect; 5. Move an egg, and the magician, through a wall; 6. The animated suit of armour effect; 7. Shooting an arrow through an assistant with a shotgun; 8. Avoiding being unmasked after being tied up in a bag; 9. Making doves disappear; 10. The Box of Pain illusion featuring stabbing with a sword & daggers; 11. The Chinese Water Torture escape.
TNA Impact [21:00, Bravo] The Knockouts started with a tag shambles and a spot of routine treachery. Rock & Rave versus Beer Money marked Rock's exit from TNA. Booger T messed about with a couple of fake cops. Abyss had more therapy. Samoa Joe terrified Steiner. Mick Foley gave us some more Hard Core History.
   A positive JUGGERNAUT of jawing, including the announcer D. West bitching at his former best friend. Is his contract up, too? The Kongtourage had a rumble and seems to be splitting up. The Guns, Lethal & Creed had a punishing ladder match for the X-Division title, which Alex Shelley retained. Then Suicide swooped down from the rafters to zap all 4 contestants.
   Finally, a contract signing, which involved the MEM assaulting Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley, and Sting rushing in to lay out Angle with his baseball bat before adding his signature to the contract for a title match with Angle at the next ppv.