November 2011

[Tuesday, 01st] Monday Night Football replay [19:00, ESPN] The Bolts at Arrowhead @ Halloween. The Chiefs went ahead with a 1st quarter 36-yard FG. The Chargers were stopped when D. Johnson caught a tipped pass, and that set up a 39-yard TD pass to Baldwin. 0-10. In the 2nd quarter, KC stalled a drive with penalties.
   SD managed a 44-yard FG for 3-10. A challenge gave SD a fumble recovery at the KC 22 with 4 minutes left. Gates was robbed of a TD by an appalling offensive pass interference call. Rivers was sacked on the next play. Then holding. A 52-yard FG try missed. KC screwed around with a bit of time left but managed a FG for a half-time score of 3-13.
   The Bolts kicked a FG with 7 minutes of Q3 gone, then they caught a tipped pass by Cassel and kicked a 42-yard FG less than half a minute later. 9-13. KC continued to splutter on offense. A FG for SD with 1:45 left in Q3 made the score 12-13. KC found a bit of offense and Battle powered into the end zone. No, his knee was down at the 1. So Battle dived into the end zone on the next play. 12-20.
   SD to KC 2, TD for Brinkley. 20-20 after a 2-point conversion. SD were driving inside the last 2 minutes. In FG range. Oh, no! Rivers lost the snap, recovered by KC! Un-believeable! KC tried to make something happen but Cassel threw an interception with 6 seconds left, so OT.
   Rivers recovered his own fumble, forced by Hall, but SD went 3 & out. KC drove into FG range and kept going. FG on 3rd down by Succop from 30 yards. Time out SD, will the kicker freeze? Of course, he bloody won't. 20-23 Kansas City.
CSI:Miami [Blood Lust, Demand 5] Two girls locked up in a huge basement hurricane shelter and a mad killer lurking. Michelle gets away. No killer, one dead Bridget when the police arrive. She had been there for ages. The Cheesies harass a guy who forecloses on mortgages and the new lady finds a wing from a Miami Blue butterfly.
   More bodies buried. It's a serial killer. A bartender and his girlfriend are harassed to reveal where they stashed a Wendy. She's found at another repossessed house. The Cheesies have busted the wrong couple. Michelle is the killer's apprentice and Boa Vista is with her! Horatio gets to blow her husband away and Michelle is totally busted.
TNA [22:00, Challenge] Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit. RVD sorted out the whinger Daniels, who gets himself DQ'd then pretends he didn't lose. Gail Kim is back in TNA and a member of the scumbag tendency, so Tara had to lie down for her.
   Eric Young ran rings around Robbie E. His reward was cheap-shotting when Big Rob joined in. Bischoff had a whinge at his son and the old fool Flair joined in. Jarrett & Jeff Hardy had a non-event before Jeff's match with Blubber, which was a fair old battle. Blubber eventually lay down so that Jarrett could cheap-shot Hardy and Kanderson could save his ass.
   Samoa Joa versus Bobby Roode in the Main Event started fast but slowed dramatically. Eventually Roode won a title shot against his tag partner buddy Mr. Storm. Then they vacated the ring so Bisch & Flair could humiliate Bisch's son.

[Wednesday, 02nd] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Mike offered the Bible codebook to a Mr. Barrett, a merchant of death, and his mom was upset about what had happened to Jesse. Fee had a lady client, Emily, whose life was being stolen by Charles, a thief and a killer. Mike devised an insane plan for him after setting a trap for Barrett. Charles' underworld money manager became the next target.
   Bad guys went after Emily and came unstuck. The same happened to the colonel who fell into Mike's trap. Charles was drugged and persuaded that he'd killed Emily, and done for a million bucks. Mike's mom went to Tampa, Barrett came to Miami with an army and Jesse found out that Mike had got him burned and split.
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) [22:00, BBC 3] A village was put under a curse by the lesbian vampire Carmilla and all its girls turned into vamps at 18. 500 years later, Jimmy was dumped by Julie for the umpteenth time and he and his broke buddy Fletch, who'd been fired from his job as a clown for punching a kid, went on a hiking holiday in Norfolk. They ended up at Cragwash with 4 girls, who were studying the Carmilla legend.
   3 of the girls were turned by the local vamps. Julie turned up and she became a vamp, too. But she was slain messily. The mad vicar, whose daughter was about to reach 18, joined in and he reckoned that Jimmy could end the curse. Fletch had to climb into a grave to get a sword with a metal cock for a handle.
   Queen Carmilla gave the vicar a hard time. But Jimmy zapped her with the sword and the world was saved. Then Jimmy, his new blond girlfriend with specs and Fletch decided that they should pursue a career as killers of lesbian vampires wherever they were to be found.

[Thursday, 03rd] Time Team [21:00, Discovery] The missing Norman castle on a hill site @ Henley in Arden – will the Time Team be able to find it and work out what it looked like? Or will they just bluff us into thinking they'd done it? Will the rich Yank who bought the lord of the manorship be allowed to build a replica of the castle on the original mound? Dream on!
   Phil helped to make a long bow, which won a shoot-off with a crossbow. No sign of a gate house but the gang was sure they'd found the great hall and Stuart explained the layout of the site. No one wanted the castle in the end and it just fell down and the stone was robbed out. And 2 phases in every trench told Robin that it was new build on demolition which eventually fell down.
All New House [22:00, Sky One] has won a reprieve. A guy moving his business to China became the victim, and House tried to blackmail him in Chinese. Dr. Foreman tore up the blackmail cheque but House continued his battle to regain his old office space. Dr. Park put the patient into a coma when not worrying about her disciplinary hearing.
   House revived the patient and fixed him. Dr. Wilson made sure the disciplinary board didn't fire Park. House managed to pull off an insider trading coup to buy his old department back. And his rich assistant, who'd just been divorced, got to let out some rage.

[Friday, 04th] WW$mackDown! [22:00, Sky Sports 3] Orton & Rhodes had an indoor street fight through 2 sets of adverts. The competitors kept going despite what were supposed to be killer moves. Buckets of ham acting, especially from Orton, and Rhodes ended up unmasked and humiliated. Dibiase & Kidd offered a spot of brief but active cruiserweight action.
   Alisha clobbered Gnatty and put her down and out to show that the Big Girls don't get their way all the time. Christian took a choke slam from Big Show, which got him out of a match with Shameless. Barrett took over for a bashing & booting contest, which saw the bleached bugger done in with help from Christian. Shameless then did a bit more bashing backstage.
   Sin Cara did a bit with Epico, who gave a good account of himself, to set up a ring invasion by the unmasked Negro and some ritual humiliation for the star. Finally D. Bryan versus Henry was a massacre but it had the sub-text of Big Show bashing & felling Henry in an attempt to get Bryan to cash in his briefcase and take the title. But it didn't work and Big Show got wrecked.

[Saturday, 05th] A Touch of Frost [Another Life, 18:54, ITV 3] Frost, suspended for sloshing a child rapist, is reinstated because the assault was justified. Supt. Mullet's lollipop passive prevention program provides the running gag; Frost wrecking one of his teeth and needing painful treatment. A stabbed body is found in a canal and there's aggro at the dance hall.
   The dead guy is a mystery man, who used to be a pharmaceutical rep but he turned to blackmail to support his two familes. Another body; with 2 left feet; is found dumped in a fridge. He was the dance hall con man, who borrowed money from the ladies.
   Frost raids a dance event and nails Deadly Dolores, who killed unsatisfactory dance partners and put them in fridges. Quite a few of them! Dr. Knight was harassed next for having phantom patients. But he didn't kill the blackmailer, that was the guy's first wife.
Taggart [Dead Giveaway, 21:00, Yesterday] A battered boxer fell into the river, but he'd been poisoned, like his mother. A couple of crooks were knocking on doors and swindling people out of antiques. Taggart bullied the owner of Wonderland Products, which made the contaminated product, and a rat catcher.
   A guy who put Wonderland pickle on his sandwiches dropped dead next. The Taggarts were moving to a wee bungalow and Mrs. T didn't want to chuck out any junk. Someone tried to blackmail Mr. Wonderland, so he went after the blackmailer with his granny's flick-knife. The polis got in the way and Taggart bagged the extortionist.
   The shopkeeper who sold the pickle was poisoned; non-fatally. The rat catcher found that his son had stolen some poison; because his family had been threatened by the killers. The woman doing the antiques frauds was done in next.
   A woman whose house Taggart had wanted to buy told him that the frauster's son had been on the jury in a poisoning trial, and that was the connection. The son and his partner; they were making forged antique bronzes; did for a 3rd poisoner and gave him an acid bath. Then they obligingly crashed their van when the polis turned up.

[Sunday, 06th] The last MotoGP of the season @ soggy Valencia [12:30, BBC 2] took place with the championship won by Stoner and Simoncelli's death 2 weeks ago dominating the event. Stoner, Pedrosa and Spies occupied the front row. Bautista was taken out by Dovizioso at the first corner, and he collected Rossi, Hayden and de Punier. Lots of battling behind Stoner when Dovi joined Pedrosa & Spies.
   Spies jumped Pedrosa for 3rd on lap 24/30 with more rain falling than earlier, but everyone staying on slicks. Stoner's lead vanished and Spies overtook him on lap 28!! But Stoner was there at the line by just 0.015 seconds for another win. And Crutchlow grabbed 4th from Pedrosa.
NFL Sunday [17:30, Sky Sports 2] The Jets in Buffalo. The Bills went 3 & out. Carrington sacked Sanchez and the Jets spent 10 minutes going to a pick in the BB end zone. In the 2nd quarter, Green had his longest run of the season wiped out by a penalty on the Jets and a pick by Wilson stopped their next drive in FG range. So they challenged and got to kick the FG. 3-0.
   A pick by Pace stopped the Bills in their own half. Folk missed a 50 yard FG try. Another pick by Harris was followed by the Jets fumbling the ball to the Bills on the next play! But the Bills blew up on a 4th & 2.
   The Jets started the 3rd quarter with a big kick-off return; on the way to 3 & out. Their next drive produced a 50 yard FG. 6-0. Jackson fumbled the Bills' first play away, Burress got away with pass interference going to the BB 1 and a TD for L.T. made it 13-0. Johnson's 52 yard pass play set up just a FG for the Bills. 13-3. A TD pass to Holmes put the Jets pretty much out of reach at 20-3. The Bills failed to make 4th & inches at the NJJ 15. Pass interference put the Jets at the BB 1 and Connor made a TD run. 27-3.
   The Bills managed a TD in reply and Fitzpatrick ran in a 2-point conversion for 27-11. And when an on-side kick try by the Bills didn't work, the Jets were just 3 minutes away from their first road win of the season.
Over to the Packers in San Diego. The Chargers' opening drive went to a TD for Jackson. Rodgers kept running for 1st downs on the way to a TD pass to Finley. 7-7. A tipped pass from Rivers was almost picked by Woodson. Peprah made his interception stick on the next play and ran through crowds to the SD end zone! 14-7. Then Williams returned another pick for a TD. 21-7!
   The Bolts drove into the 2nd quarter and a big pass to Jackson set up a TD run by Tolbert. 21-14. Rodgers was sacked twice on the way to a failed attempt to make a 4th & 2 at the SD 36. Rivers had the ball stripped but he managed to pick it up and make a pass! A 52-yard FG made the score 21-17. Rodgers rushed, he was sacked twice more but a TD pass to Nelson survived a review. 28-17.
   It was colder and wetter in San Diego than in Green Bay! The Pack opened the 3rd quarter with a 47 yard FG from Crosby. 31-17. The Bolts got a spot of sunshine and a sack on Rivers by Walden, but they marched on to a diving TD by Gates. 31-24.
   In the 4th quarter, James Jones caught a TD pass for 38-24, and a sack by Bishop forced the first punt of the day by SD. Nelson took a pass 64 yards to the SD 4 and a TD pass to Jennings made the lead 45-24. Then it started going horribly wrong for the Packers.
   The Bolts zoomed to a TD for Jackson. 45-31. Then the Packers bogged their defence of an on-side kick. A quick drive through a wide open Green Bay defence brought another TD for Jackson in just over a minute. 45-38 with 6:25 left and it was raining heavily.
   The Packers went 3 & out from their 8. Pass interference saved the Bolts from going 4 and out, but they punted again to the GB 4. A 3rd down sack on Rodgers was wiped out by holding. 1:05 left after the Packers punted. But the defence turned up again, Peprah got another pick and that was it. The Packers didn't blow it, but it was a good job their defence turned up, and they are now 8-0.

[Monday, 07th] NCIS [20:00, FX] Surprise! Agent Dinbozo put the wrong guy away for stealing $1M from the Navy 3 years before. So Rene dumped the guy who testified against him down a hotel laundry chute, but he didn't kill him. Gibbs put Dinbozo in charge of the team. A second bad guy wouldn't talk. Surprise! The 3rd bad guy turned out to be the prosecutor on the case. So he was busted and Dinbozo let Rene run off to the money.
New Mythbusters? [21:00, Discovery] Well, not actually. The Planes, Trains & Automobiles Special is one of those compilation shows they make when time and/or the budget runs short. 12. Being talked in to a landing in an airliner; 11. Towing vehicles towards crashes; 10. Don't drive angry; 9. Tablecloth Chaos with Jamie on his motorbike; 8. Skipping a car across a lake & remote control disasters; 7. The Night Rider drive into a trailer; 6. Plane on a conveyor belt; 5. Peeing onto the 3rd rail; 4. The sports car that wasn't more aerodynamic going backwards; 3. Glass versus a sonic boom; 2. A 747 versus a car, a school bus and a light plane; 1. Car carnage x 5.
Cold Fusion (2010) [22:00, Movies 24+] Russian terrorists used fuel from a UFO downed in the Soviet era to blow up a bit of Iowa, and caused a very damaging EMP from unknown technology, as far as the US government was concerned. Lela sorted out the terrrorists at an Arctic base then Unger, her boss, sent her to Ukraine to destroy a secret lab.
   Lela teamed up with a Chinese killer female. The Rogues were playing with the flying saucer and using the cold fusion fuel to build bombs. Vladivostok was blown up next. Unger discovered that the US, China & Russia were working behind the scenes on UFO projects. The "ladies" got into the base, which went Code Red. Unger was told to abort the mission by an NSA traitor.
   A Russian technician turned the UFO loose and wrecked the base. Bad guys armed weapons all around the world but their plot was foiled. Unger had the "ladies" extracted, the NSA guy was busted and Lela's father was cleared of being a traitor.

[Tuesday, 08th] MNF replay [19:00, ESPN] The Bears in Philadelphia. The Bears' opening drive contained lots of rushing by Forte and finished with a TD pass to 89. 7-0. Vick took a battering into the 2nd quarter, he got the Eagles into the CB red zone only to be intercepted, which gave the Bears a 51 yard FG for 10-0. Urlacher seemed to be everywhere but the Eagles replied with a 47 yard FG. 10-3.
   Just inside the 2 minute warning, Forte fumbled the ball to the Eagles, who ran it back for a TD! 10-10. The Bears had to punt but Jackson fumbled away the kick return and there were the Bears at the PE 9 with a minute left! Barber pounded into the end zone from 2 yards out for 17-10 at half time.
   The Eagles started the 2nd half with a long TD drive, which included making 4th & inches at the CB 19, to level the scores at 17. They had to throw the challenge flag to make a fumble recovery stick, and a 33 yard pass to McCoy put them 17-24 up. The Bears got close but managed just a FG. 20-24.
   The Bears regained the lead in the 4th quarter with a short TD pass from Cutler to Bennett. 27-24. The Eagles bogged a fake punt attempt; Henry threw a terrible pass; but no damage done immediately. The Bears reached the PE 7 on pass interference, they were stopped and they kicked a FG. 30-24 with 4 minutes left. And the Bears held on to win.
CSI:Miami [Hunting Ground, 21:00, Channel 5] Patriotic Americans were hunting illegal immigrants with bows & arrows so the unpatriotic Cheesies went after them. Det. Frank bagged an orchid hunter. The Cheesies bagged anothe illegal immigrant who had been shackled to the dead man.
   Wolfe found the bow after BV had found the hunter's perch. Fine, upstanding American taxpayers were harassed by the Cheesies. Horatio unleashed his hypocritical self-righteous side and indulged in a spot of interrogation by torture. And he let the illegals go.
Two helpings of Meatloaf to close [22:00, 23:00, Sky Arts 1] First in Australia in 2004 with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra and almost respectable, then back to 1978 and the Frankfurt Rockpalast with bad language.

[Wednesday, 09th] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Mike is going after Barrett with Jesse fixing to shoot him (Mike, that is). Vaughn is not going to let Barrett go. A defence attorney, defending a mobster, has his daughter kidnapped, so there's another case for Mike. The lawyer shoots his mouth off and nearly gets Mike killed. Fee & Mom try to get Jesse back on-side.
   Mike pretends to stage a gaol-break to bluff the gangster's brother into handing the girl over, thinking he's going to get the mobster. Mike gets a drug-smuggling submarine out of the deal. Jesse back off. Vaughn crashes the meet with Barrett, and Jesse has to shoot Mike to save his life, so he's bleeding all over the place at the end.
2012: Ice Age (2011) [22:00, Syfy] A massive chain of volcanoes goes off under an Arctic glacier, huge chunks of ice bombard Canada and our hero is advised to get his family out of New York because the glacier is travelling south and freezing the east coast of the United States.
   US jets fire missles at a flying iceberg, wreck the city under it and put our hero, his wife and his son into a massive car wreck. The airforce goes nuclear and just makes everything infinitely worse as our hero struggles to get to New York, where his daughter and her boyfriend are messing about.
   The US military plants lots more explosives on the freakin' huge glacier, which is travelling at 200 mph!! Our hero crashes his plane at Newark. The glacier is blown to hell and New York get the bits. The son tracks his sister's phone to New Jersey, where's she's collected. Dad then goes for a drive on the Hudson River. The family takes refuge at the Statue of Liberty, which ends up buried up to its armpits in ice! Daft sciffy, or what!

[Thursday, 10th] Deception with Keith Barry [21:00, Quest] The Irish mentalist was in the United States helping out the police. Like showing that being tasered is a good way to read someone's mind. He also demonstrated how to spot which people are carrying which concealed weapons and lots more amazing stuff, finishing with getting his car back from 2 reformed car thieves by interrogation.
House [22:00, Sky One] Bob, the gas station guy, was Cedarville's Outstanding Citizen of the Year and House's next victim. Dr. Foreman was the new Dean of Medicine and Drs. Chase & Taub rejoined the team as Foreman's spies. Taub had his 2 kids in tow, House kept trying to do DNA tests for a pool on which one wasn't Taub's and Dr. Wilson was stuck with the kids most of the time.
   Bob turned out to be a really bad person. Not only had he had an affair, he'd been cheating everyone who used his garage. He also said he was a killer. Taub shredded House's DNA results because he wanted both of "his" kids. And House didn't kill his patient but there was a good chance that the people of Cedarville would.
WW$ Raw [23:00, Sky Sports 3] was from Liverpool, so loadsa jawing and some mock violence. Nitro to do another lie-down for Ziggles? No, it was non-title so he didn't have to. Mason Ryan massacred JTG. Rio versus Kofi was back to the lie-down jobs. Then Rio did a tedious rant at Punk, who kicked his ass.
   Swagger versus Santino had its Santino moments but it was always heading for a lie-down. Nash with a rant. Yawn. Finally Troof + Mizrabul versus Cena + Ryder. Ryder got to show off a bit, but on the way to a routine swindle? Natch. Yawn.

[Friday, 11th] The Mental Case [Scarlet Ribbons, Demand 5] Bang, bang, bang! Red John falls dead. Jane pulls a gun out of his pocket and admits killing him to the cops. They say it wasn't Red John. So Jane is stuck in gaol. Lisbon is in hospital but not for long. The head of the CBI suspends her and her team. The boss tells her to forget about Jane so she gets the team to clear Jane off the books.
   The widow says Timothy Carter wasn't Red John. Cho & Rigsby goes after the missing gun. Jane joins the prison card school to raise his bail money. He & Lisbon harass the widow while Cho & Rigsby go after a missing bald security guard. Hair dryer in the bath.
   Surprise! The widow has a prisoner; a missing girl. Jane finds that the dead guy's wife was his accomplice. The DA goes after Jane at his trial but the jury buys Jane's story, so he gets off. The boss of the CBI is mightily pissed off! At the end, Jane tells Lisbon that Carter was an evil man but not Red John – who is still alive!
Lor 'n' Order: LA [21:00, Universal] There's a dead guy in a bath at an hotel where there's a wedding; throat cut & tackle removed. Was Cousin George in on a heist at the casino where he worked? Was his teacher girlfriend planning to use the $1.5M to bust her swindler father out of gaol?
   Her father was pretending to be beaten up in gaol to manipulate his daughter. Walter kept on lying and trying to swindle the DA's office. His daughter refused to see that she was being stitched up, so the DA scammed Walter into maximum security for the rest of his life sentence.
NFL Special [22:00, Sky Sports 2] Thursday night's highlights of the Raiders at the Chargers. The Raiders were sent 3 & out and the Bolts used a lateral on the punt return to get to the OR 40, they went backwards at the 11 and had to settle for a FG. Bush did some solid rushing but the Raiders had to set up for a punt. An attempt to throw a TD pass by Lechler was foiled when the intended receiver was mugged legally. Ford took a big pass in the Raiders' next drive then went off with an ankle injury. A TD run by Bush made the score 7-3.
   Moore took a huge catch with his fingertips to get the Raiders to the SD 13, which set up a FG. 10-3. Houston sacked Rivers and Palmer found Moore with a 33 yard TD pass. 17-3. Wimbley got a sack and SD didn't manage to score before half time.
   The Raiders kept up their pressure on Rivers in the 3rd quarter but he found Brown with a 30 yard TD pass. 17-10. Bush went 55 yards on a screen pass and Moore took another TD pass. 24-10. A 46 yard FG try for the Chargers missed but they forced Palmer to fumble and recovered the ball. Brown caught a 33 yard pass in the end zone but the ball was being touched by a defender who was out of bounds. So the Bolts had to make a 4th & 1 at the OR 25 and Hester took a TD pass. 24-17.
   In the 4th quarter, Bush made another big run, Palmer was intercepted but the Chargers did nothing with their turnover. Bryant sacked Rivers and he was intercepted in the OR end zone by Giordano. The Raiders ran time off the clock and continued to jump on Rivers, and they held on to win.

[Saturday, 12th] The Mental Case [episode 2/season 4, Little Red Book, Demand 5] Jane is back on the job but Lisbon is being investigated. Jane joins a new CBI team for the murder of a fitness trainer. He tells Lisbon that he's after whoever told the security guard to remove Carter's gun and he sets to work undermining the morale of the new team.
   The boss brings Cho aboard. He interrogates Jocelyn, a customer with whom the trainer was affairing. Jane gets the new guys scrapping in the office. Van Pelt rejoins the team. Jane tells the old team that the only way to save Lisbon is to solve the murder before the new team.
   Lisbon & the boss find Mrs. Carter dead in her cell with a note saying she doesn't want to live with Red John dead. The trainer was rating his clients sexually? No, Jane planted a fake address book. Jane gets the suspects to the fitness club and traps Jocelyn, the killer, stitches up the new boss and he gets Lisbon back into her job. Then Jane takes a blind woman to the mortuary to feel the face of a dead guy.
Agatha Christie's Marple [Murder Is Easy, 18:00, ITV 3] A vicar was murdered, and the lady who was on the way to Scotland Yard with her suspicions is done in right after meeting Miss Marple on a train. Florrie picked poisoned mushrooms earlier. Then the doctor croaked. And there was an election going on. Miss Marple cast suspicion around, like she does. Amy, the maid, had a hacking cough and drank hat dye instead of cough bottle.
   Accidental poisoning? And she was pregnant. Miss Marple got the inquest adjourned and listened in while the village bobby did his questioning. The Labour candidate had got Amy up the duff, and he accused the Tory, The Major, of getting a local simpleton drunk before he had a fatal accident.
   A blackmailer tried to take The Major's place. Who's that dead in the bath? Lydia, The Major's wife. He exposed the blackmailer. Lydia was murdered. Abortion seemed to be the key. Miss Marple exposed Honoria's secret; she hadn't had an abortion, she was the hovering American lady's mother. She had murdered her simpleton brother, who had raped her after the Major had explained "the facts of life", and killed everyone else.
Meet The Spartans (2008) [21:00, E4] is a spoof of the film 300 – a totally merciless send-up, totally silly and even greater fun for anyone who has seen the target of the derision. Not to be missed!

[Sunday, 13th] Abu Dhabi Grand Prix [13:00, BBC 1] The last thing anyone expected to see was pole-sitter S. Vettel slide off at the second corner with a collapsed tyre. But it handed an overdue win to L. Hamilton and points for second place to F. Alonso. Having two DRS zones was something of a mixed blessing; someone who pulled off a passing manoeuvre in the first zone was liable to be overtaken again in the second. Kodos to J. Button for finishing 3rd despite having lots of problems with his KERS.
NFL Sunday [18:00, Sky Sports 2 Red Button due to darts over-running] The Steelers' first drive @ the home of the Bengals went to a TD pass to Cotchery, then they sent the home team 3 & out again. The Steelers sliced through the Bengals' defence again and Mendenhall ran in a TD through broken tackles. 14-0. But the last word in the opening quarter went to the Bengals; Dalton found Green with a TD pass in double coverage. 14-7.
   In the 2nd quarter, Miller coughed up a pass, Hall grabbed it and that set up a FG for the Bengals. 14-10. After an exchange of punts, the Bengals sacked Roethlisberger on successive plays, but Brown got the Steelers out of the hole. He continued to make 1st downs but Cotchery got the next TD pass? No, it was wiped out by pass interference by the Steelers, R'berger was sacked again and the Steelers had to settle for a FG. 17-10.
   In the 3rd quarter, the Bengals battled to a top-quality TD pass from Dalton to Gresham to level the scores at 17. R'berger was sacked again on the way to a TD run by Mendenhall 24-17.
   In the 4th quarter, the Steelers had to punt. They recovered a tipped pass on the Bengals' first play, only to go 3 & out. The defences took charge and the punters had more work to do. An interception by Gay with 2½ minutes left gave the Steelers a chance to gain a couple of 1st downs and run out the clock for a win on the road.
Next up, the Giants at the 49ers. The Giants advanced into the SF red zone, the 49ers wanted a forced fumble recovery but the ref ruled that forward progress had already been stopped, so hard luck, which let the NJG kick a FG. 3-0. The 49ers used up most of the rest of the 1st quarter taking their opening drive to a FG. 3-3.
   Another red zone stop left the Giants kicking a FG, to which Akers replied with room to spare from 52 yards. 6-6. Surprise! The 49ers did an on-side kick, recovered it and went on to another FG. 6-9. Manning was picked by Rogers but with the 49ers in FG range, a pass bounced off a receiver to Webster of the NJG, and that was it for the quarter.
   The 49ers opened the 3rd quarter with yet another FG. 6-12. Willis got a sack. The next Giants' drive ended with a TD pass, the first, from Manning to Manningham. 13-12. The defences took charge. In the 4th quarter. Smith found a wide open V. Davis with a pass and he leapt and crashed into the NJG end zone. 13-19 after a 2-point conversion. Another pick by Rogers set up a TD run by Hunter on the next play. 13-27, 12:21 left.
   Manning found Nicks with a TD pass against 2 defenders for 20-17. The next Giants' drive survived 4th & 6 at their 35, Manningham almost had a TD but the pass was half a yard too long, Manning was almost sacked, the Giants made 4th & 5 at the SF 42 but they blew up on 4th & 2 at the SF 10. So the 49ers won against a "quality" team.

[Monday, 14th] New Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] really delivered some new stuff this week. Does C4 burn without blowing up, allowing it to be used for cooking? Adam & Jamie found that it's as good as some regular solid fuels. Does dropping a heavy cooking pot onto burning C4 make it go bang? Nope. And no bang with Adam's stomping robot and an anvil.
   The flying guillotine hat – fact or movie myth? The Juniors built their own guillotines and Grant's was totally lethal! Throwing the decapitator hat onto a head from close range proved to be possible and Tory's was the only practical design but it didn't decapitate.
   Tory improved his design to achieve decapitation and retrieval, as per the movie, but when Grant added a radio controlled cart to make the target move, Tory was unable to hit the target. Meanwhile, A&J were ramping things up. Their C4 didn't explode when an expert shot tracer and incendiary bullets at it and no boom when burning Thermit was dripped on to it. Heating food Confirmed but don't drop anything on C4 Totally Busted.
Harry's Law [episode 1, 22:00, Universal+1] A patent lawyer, 61, burns out and she's fired. Malcolm jumps off a building and lands on her. Adam hits her with his car but she's thrown onto a mattress. Harry ends up with a criminal law practice in an abandoned shoe shop in a bad neighbourhood. Her secretary sells the shoes on the side, Malcolm wants to be her client and Adam wants to work with her.
   Damien, the local protection racketeer, fails to shake her down and becomes Adam's first client. Harry tries to bamboozle Malcolm's jury, and gets a break from the judge. Adam bamboozles the DA and Damien joins the magic circle.
Harry's Law [episode 6, 23:00, Universal+1] Harry ends up in the middle of warring gangs, which have lost their mediator. She takes on the job, only to be rejected in Malcolm's favour. Adam works an employment compensation case with a lady lawyer, who's being wound up by the lady assistant to the plaintiff's good ol' boy lawyer (who's really a bluffing duffer).
   Harry persuades Malcolm to deliver what he thinks is the right decision for the gangs, Adam's side loses the case but the jury awards the plaintiff 75 bucks instead of 6 figures. And Harry persuades the gangs to let a kid go with just a beating instead of enough bullets to kill him.

[Tuesday, 15th] MNF replay [16:30, ESPN] was the Vikings in Green Bay, where the Vikings were sent 3 & out and Cobb ran the punt back 80 yards for a TD! 0-7. Matthews got a sack. The next Packers' drive survived Rodgers dropping the ball and a deflected pass, and went to a 24 yard TD pass to Jennings. 0-14. Woodson was nearly awarded an interception but a challenge got the officials back to the original, and correct, call of an incomplete pass. The Vikings set up for a 47 yard FG. A false start added 5 yards to the kick, which was short.
   In the 2nd quarter, the Packers made a 4th & 5 at the MV 34, Allen sacked Rodgers but Crosby kicked a FG for 0-17. Williams intercepted Ponder to stop the Vikings but no points off the turn-over. Winfield got a sack as the half ran down.
   Nelson battled into the MV end zone to conclude the Packers' opening drive of the 3rd quarter. 0-24. The Vikings got nowhere but Cobb muffed the catch when they punted, which set up a short field and a TD run for Peterson. 7-24. Kuhn took the Pack further ahead with a TD. 7-31. Matthews sacked Ponder, then Bishop & Williams joined forces for another sack, and Woodson nearly got an interception when the Vikings failed to make a 4th & 9.
   In the 4th quarter, the Packers went to another TD for Nelson. 7-38. Then Flynn, the back-up QB got a run out and got to run in the final score of the match. 7-45 and the Packers looked convincingly the better team; unlike in some recent wins.
CSI:Miami [Special Delivery, 21:00, Channel 5] A delivery guy got all the women; then he got dead. The Cheesies went after the obvious suspect then dropped him for a 16-year-old junkie, who ended up in a coma. The next stop on the delivery guy's route was found dead; she was crushed by folding seating in a school gym.
   She had been shipping dolls made with heroin in from Mexico and on to a drug factory in an abandoned building. Det. Frank was shot-up there. The DEA took over; the dead woman's husband was their conscripted undercover guy. Marcos, the guy behind the operation, was busted but he wasn't the killer. That was the buddy of Shawn, the coma kid.
TNA [22:00, Challenge] Beer Money has been disbanded and Stink has washed his face! The Pope gave Crimson a seeing-to but he was eventually splatted and pinned. Gunner versus Bischoff's son didn't last long because the old fool Flair got Gunner DQ'd. Zenon Ion did too much showboating and Jesse Sorensen did him in.
   Velvet + Mickie versus Medicine + Gail Kim had ref Earl Hebner turning both blind eyes to the cheating. Big Rob + Robbie E. versus Eric Young + Ronnie from some TV show was a bad deal for everyone called Rob after some jolly fun. The Mexes and the Ink mob had a riot backstage.
   Lots of action in Daniels versus Styles, not to mention cheating, but RVD foiled Daniels attempt to add a screwdriver to the match and Daniels was splatted. Steiner + Jarrett + Blubber versus Jeff Hardy + Kanderson + Abyss was buckets of battering & cheating, and a total shambles with Abyss getting the last word. Finally, Storm with his head dripping blood, didn't have a match with Roode. Soggy squib, or what.

[Wednesday, 16th] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Barrett's briefcase containing an encrypted list of the people who burned Mike is missing from last week's shoot-out. So is Simon's Bible. Mike ends up in his mom's garage when he leaves hospital. Alicia is his next client. Scott, a scumbag lawyer who has already crossed Mike's path, blew up Dale, her brother, with his boss. Dale kidnapped Scott's daughter previously.
   Vaughn leaves Miami. Fee comes up with a suspected briefcase thief. Mike runs in to Denis, a serial killer, who is planting bombs everywhere. Mike & Sam find a bomb at Alisha's home while Jesse is chasing the briefcase. Mike gets the locations of the other 4 then Jesse blows up Denis and Fee's place. Mom buys Mike another pair of his trademark shades and the hunt for the briefcase, and Mr. Walsh who has it, continues.
For those who missed it, The Prisoner "remake" has started on Syfy [22:00]. Except that it's the idea of the original series, with bits of script borrowed but it has been moved across the Atlantic and it lacks both the visual vocabulary of the original and the series of New No. 2s, and it lacks the impact and originality of the original.
Blue Murder [pilot, 23:00, ITV 3] Following Inspector Morse's sidekick on ITV 3 comes DCI Janine Lewis, who has a family and an army of helpers to let her police the Manchester area. She sees someone do a hit & run on a girl at her son's school while the team are dragging a foreign lap dancer from the river Irwell. The car belongs to Mr. Harper, the manager of her club, but he says it was stolen.
   Lee Stone, the doorman, goes on the run and his sidekick is found shot in the head. Someone on the team talked to the dead girl's father, so Lewis waxes indignant. The Polish owner of the Top Cat club is importing illegals as lap dancers. Harper is harassed again and he says the owner killed Rosa and she's scared of him.
   Stone takes Lewis prisoner at gunpoint to get witness protection. By now, the audience has worked out that Harper is really the Polish club owner, whom no one has seen. But Lewis takes a bit longer to work it out before staging a dramatic dash to the airport to bust him on a plane.

[Thursday, 17th] Time Team [21:00, Discovery History] The gang was operating near Gloucester, where an amateur had found tons of Iron Age & Roman stuff. The geophysics looked promising so the team went after an Iron Age roundhouse, and found 2 of them, and chased a phantom Roman era villa.
   Phil had the hump because he hates digging in clay. A burial was also found, but only of an unimportant woman with no grave goods. At the end, Phil reckoned he'd found 2 buildings of a Roman era farm in an area ridge-and-furrow ploughed to destruction.
House [22:00, Sky One] A clown kid collapsed at a party of hostile children – a teenage mini-stroke?. House had another patient who was convinced he had diabetes, he was scheming to get to Atlantic City for a boxing match, for which Dr. Wilson had 2 tickets, he was trying to convince his team that all parents screw up the heads of their offspring and he wanted Dr. Taub to give up one of his kids.
   Dr. Foreman saw through House's Atlantic City scam. House found that the clown kid's biological father was still alive and a rejected drunk, and that was the key to sorting him out. The guy with diabetes was making himself ill with his diet. And Dr. Wilson ended watching the boxing on TV alone apart from a pizza.

[Friday, 18th] Kullervo [19:30, BBC 4] This 1992 performance of Sibelius' early work by the LSO + vocalists is not something you expect to hear unless you go to your CD collection, underlining the value of this channel. The difference between seeing the performance and listening to a CD is that you get to see the weird faces pulled by the performers, and there are sub-titles for the vocals to explain how badly Kullervo, in his blue socks, does with girls until he flashes some cash around; only to end up seducing his own sister. Definitely a highlight of the week.
Lewis [The Dead Of Winter, 21:05, ITV 3] One of a band of re-enactors was shot at the estate where Hathaway grew up and there was a dead tourist on a bus, a Dr. Black who was obsessed with finding a lost Civil War era treasure on the estate. Hathaway found the murder weapon in the chapel. A tenant farmer was done in next. His wife had run away with Dr. Black, who killed a student with his car 6 years before and became a drunk.
   Lewis wouldn't buy murder/sucide. He chucked Hathaway off the case in a fit of pique for having dinner with Scarlett, his childhood friend, who was marrying an Asian for money. The pathologist made a starch connection and put the butler in the frame.
   His lordship was a paedophile and the butler killed the missing wife (who hadn't run off with Dr. Black) when she got suspicious about his lordship's piano lessons for her daughter. Lewis was shot & wounded, as was the Colonel, who had been shot at the start of the episode. The butler was busted. Scarlett was also in on the cover-up, and the body was found in the Millennium statue.
NFL Special, Thursday Night highlights [23:00, Sky Sports 2] The Jets in Denver. The Broncos started the match with a 27 yard pass play but they went out on downs at the NJJ 20. A 3rd down sack by 58 + 92 stopped the Jets. Their punt went only to the NJJ 34, the Broncos stalled at the 20 again and kicked a FG. 0-3.
   The Jets missed a 52 yard FG try. McGahee fumbled the ball away, and that set up a short FG for the Jets in the 2nd quarter. 3-3. The defences took charge, Denver went 1-1 on challenges and Folk couldn't make a 61 yard FG for the Jets at the end of the half.
   Burress took a pass 30 yards to start the 2nd half. The Jets got up close and scored a TD when their alert right guard, Slauson, recovered a fumble in the end zone! 10-3. Sanchez was picked early in the next Jets' drive and Goodman ran the ball back for a TD. 10-10. The Broncos did nothing after forcing a fumble on the kick off return.
   In the 4th quarter, Dumervil sacked Sanchez when he held on to the ball for too long but the Jets went ahead with a 45 yard FG. 13-10. With 6 minutes left, the Broncos began a drive at their 5, Tebow rushed for 1st downs, a knucklehead ran onto the field and was busted off-camera then Tebow ran in a TD. 13-17. The Jets had 58 seconds left. Miller got a sack and the Jets' Hail Mary pass got them nothing.

[Saturday, 19th] The Searchers (1956, John Wayne, Natalie Wood) Ethan returns from the Civil War just when Injuns massacre his brother's family and take the 2 girls prisoner. Ethan leads a posse after them, the older girl is found dead and they return home without little Debbie. A swindler tries to take $1,000 from Ethan and ends up dead.
   Ethan & Marty, who was adopted by the brother, continue the hunt for 5 years. They escape an Injun ambush and return home as Marty's childhood sweetheart is about to marry Charlie. And they're wanted for murdering the swindler.
   Scar, the killer Injun, and his gang return as Ethan is about to be arrested. The Texas Rangers, with a token handful of Cavalry take out the Injuns. Scar loses his scalp and Marty prevents Ethan from killing Debbie, who is returned to what's left of her inheritance.
Red Sonja (1985) [20:10, 5USA] The evil queen, who wiped out Sonja's family, sends her minions to collect the Talisman before it can be put out of harm's way by priestesses, including Sonja's sister. She escapes the massacre, meets Prince Arnie Schwarzenberger and gives him a message for Sonja before croaking.
   Sonja hates most men but the world will be shaken apart by earthquakes in 3 days if she doesn't stop the evil queen. She acquires an 'orrible child prince and his long-suffering major domo in addition to Arnie and has lots of adventures on the way to the evil queen's stronghold.
   Natch, there's a battle. Natch, the evil queen loses and ends up in the lava lake with the Talisman, and natch, our heroes escape before the stronghold goes up like a volcano.
Kill Switch (2008) [22:00, 5USA] is written by, and stars, Steven Seagal. Jake the cop beats up the perp when he comes across a woman with a bomb inside her, and chucks the guy out of a window. He's haunted by memories of the murder of a boyhood friend and he's trying to decrypt messages from a serial killer.
   Jake is the kind of guy who can shoot off millions of bullets without hitting a bad guy, and who prefers to take them apart with his bare hands. He's saddled with a lady FBI agent looking over his shoulder. The serial killer keeps on doing it and the system lets the mad bomber walk.
   Jake continues to shoot people and wreck bars; and does the same to the serial killer with a hammer. The lady Fed decides he's killing people like the serial killer and blaming him! The bomber dumps a body on Jake and ends up dead. And the serial killer admits all his killings, so that's Jake off the hook.

[Sunday, 20th] NFL Sunday [18:05, Sky Sports 3] The Bengals at the Ravens, who didn't have Ray Lewis playing. Both teams went 3 & out but Simpson juggled and caught a pass from Dalton in the next Bengals' drive to set up a TD run for Benson after the Ravens had put the visitors at their 1 with pass interference. 7-0. The defences took over and there were lots of miscues.
   In the 2nd quarter, Flacco turned a broken play into a TD pass to Boldin. 7-7. In the next BR drive, Flacco found T. Smith with a huge pass and Rice rushed into the end zone at the 2nd attempt for 7-14. Flacco was picked by Clements making a stupid pass but Reed intercepted Dalton in his own end zone at the end of the quarter.
   In the 3rd quarter, Rice blasted through the CB defence like a bullet, going 59 yards! Just a short FG, though. 7-17. Two big pass plays got the CB to the BR 8 and Benson made a 4 yard TD run. 14-17. After some punting, a pick by J. Smith was stripped and returned to BR hands at the bottom of a scrum, in which the ref was buried! The Ravens went on to another TD run by Rice. 14-24.
   A diving catch by Webb gave the Ravens another interception in the 4th quarter and T. Smith took a TD pass on the next play. 14-31 and game over? The Bengals came back passing and a 49 yarder to Caldwell gave them a TD. 21-31. Dalton did some rushing in the next CB drive, a TD for Gresham was wiped out by a review and the Bengals had to settle for a FG. 24-31, 5:32 left.
   The Ravens punted. A big pass to Simpson against 2 defenders got the CB to the BR 7. Dalton was done for intentional grounding, the Ravens stopped the Bengals and they'd done enough to win.
Over to the Titans in Atlanta with 3 minutes gone and no score. But 2 passes to Gonzalez put the Falcons a TD up. 0-7. Hasselbeck was intercepted by Robinson and a TT challenge failed. The Falcons drove into the 2nd quarter, they were stopped at the TT 1 and kicked a FG. 0-10.
   Hasselbeck rushed 17 yards for a TT 1st down but the drive stalled. M. Turner ran 35 yards through tackles to set up an AF FG. 0-13. The Titans had a minute to do something at the end of the quarter. Grimes blew an interception chance, the Falcons got away with pass interference on a shot to their end zone and the Titans kicked a FG. 3-13.
   In the 3rd quarter, a stupid penalty on the TT kept a Falcons' drive going, White took a pass 43 yards and a 5 yard TD run by Turner increased the AF lead to 3-20. In the next AF drive, Ryan made a 4th & 1 and the Falcons battled to a short FG. 3-23.
   Locker came on for the injured Hasselbeck and tossed a TD pass to Washington for 10-23. After an exchange of punts, the Falcons got to a 4th & 1 at the TT 12½. Ryan moved his guys all over the place and made the TT jump offsides. A fumble by Turner was recovered by Witherspoon for the TT.
   Abraham got a sack, the TT converted a 4th & 16 with a 22 yard pass, the rookie Locker scrambled like a veteran, a 32 yard pass to Hawkins got the TT to the AF 4 and a TD pass to Washington got them to 17-23. The Titans did a normal kick off instead of trying an on-side kick, and the Falcons were able to do enough to run out the clock for a win.

[Monday, 21st] Conversation with Fritz Lang [20:00, Sky Arts 1] The celebrated film director talked about his life and career shortly before his death in 1972, telling how he became an actor by accident, and his move to writing and directing films.
   Metropolis and M get honourable mentions, and he explained why Peter Lorre got the part of the child murderer. He left Germany in 1933 when he was told that Hitler wanted him to become the leading Nazi film-maker, and his actual departure was a tale of suspense, with the director looking over his shoulder constantly and nothing happening! At the end, he decided that a director's work should speak for him, which made the programme rather redundant.
New Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] Adam & Jamie investigated viral videos involving excavators. They found that they could row a barge in San Franciso Bay, out of strong currents, with 2 excavators operated in tandem. Video not faked.
   The Juniors, meanwhile, had a story about a light plane, which the pilot repaired with duct tape after a bear ripped the polyester skin to shreds, and flew home successfully. A slashed and repaired plane flew for more than the allotted 30 minutes, so Myth Confirmed.
   Both A&J managed to ride on a wakeboard towed by an excavator parked in a lake and spun at an appropriate speed. Video not faked. The Juniors then stripped all of the polyester skin off their plane and replaced it with duct tape; 17 rolls rather than the 5 which would have given the same weight.
   A test pilot had trouble with the strong winds at the airport, but he managed to find a calm spell to get the feel of the plane, and he felt confident enough to fly it. Finally, would Adam manage to himself and his excavator into the back of a truck? Another video not faked.

[Tuesday, 22nd] Morituri (1956) In Tokio in 1942, a "good" German, Captain Mueller, was obliged to take charge of a freighter with a cargo of rubber for the Reich because his family had been taken prisoner. In India, British Intelligence gave a German with false papers, Craine, the job of sabotaging the scuttling charges on the ship so that the Allies could grab the rubber.
   Crain was put aboard the ship with false SS papers and clashed with the captain right away. He managed to sneak about and recruited help from political prisoners in the crew. Crain tried, but failed, to get the crew out of the way when the ship wandered into an Allied convoy in fog. A U-boat unloaded some prisoners and visiting officers got suspicious of the passenger. Mueller got drunk when his son was awarded a medal for being a good Nazi and the first officer took over.
   Crain led an attempt to take over the ship, but he had to fire the unsabotaged scuttling charges. Everyone but him and the captain abandoned ship but the rubber kept it afloat! So they sent a radio message asking to be collected by the Allies.
CSI:Miami [About Face, 21:00, Channel 5] Mr. Clarkson, one of the prison escapers, killed again. Then he grabbed Boa Vista to tell her he was innocent. The Cheesies discovered BV was missing while she was making Clarkson crash his car. Then she started to think Clarkson might be telling the truth.
   One of the vics turned out to be a prostitute and her husband was the pimp. He'd clobbered Clarkson, the Peeping Tom, on the day of her murder. The Cheesies tried, but failed, to frame a nurse for both murders. Then they started examining evidence from the first case which they'd ignored before.
   The crazed killer confessed all to Horatio when cornered. The new blonde Cheesie started cozying up to Wolfe, and Clarkson gave himself up. Which still left 2 of the 5 prison escapers somewhere out there.
TNA [22:00, Challenge] A spot of brawling to start. Devon versus Robbie E. was an obvious mismatch in the real world, but hey! this is TV "wrestling". Kash + Aires versus Sorensen + Kendrick was always heading for a swindle; or something like Aires walking out in a sulk and leaving Kash to be crunched.
   Rosita lasted about 6 seconds against Velvet Sky, so Miss Tessmacher stepped up to be flattened. Then Angelina did for Velvet and Mickie did for Angie. Sarita self-destructed and got a DDT, Tara got a DDT, Winna went out after a boot in the mush, ODB did some crunching; in vain; and dinky likkle Medicine was snuck up on. So Mickie is the No. 1 challenger for Gail Kim's title.
   Jeff Hardy larked about with the Jarretts. The Mexes versus Morgan + Crimson was for the tag titles so no chance for the Gringos? No, despite the obvious handicap of Hebner Jr. as the ref, the Yanquis actually won! Bischoff's kid versus Gunner had Earl Hebner ignoring Bisch joining in but a DDT did for Gunner. Then it was back to the script stuff and messing about.

[Wednesday, 23rd] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Mike burgled a police station in search of info on the guys who burnt him and got Jesse to blackmail Marv, his former handler, to get $5M to buy in to an auction. Fee's client was a guy who said his sister was being harassed by a Venezuelan diplomat. Only the "sister" was Natalie, the thief, and she'd stolen a chemical weapon, which she wanted back.
   Jesse bamboozled Marv with some honesty to get the 5 mil. Mike & Co. stole the weapon in a carrying case, then Natty blew up Sam and stole it. So Mike used the bug she'd planted on him to lure Natty into a trap. She and the weapon were turned over to the Feds. Finally, Mom banged heads together and told Mike & Jesse to deal with their problems with each other.
Camel Spiders (2011) [23:00, Syfy] is a daft sciffy creature feature. US troops are in a shoot-out with Islamics when it all goes very quiet. One of the locals reckons that bish-bish "sand devils"; freaking huge spiders; got the terrorists. A yank is killed and his wounded captain takes the body home to Arizona; plus some small spiders inside it.
   Some spiders get loose and that same day, there are huge ones taking out teenagers and attacking roadside eateries. A professor identifies the spiders at camel spiders just before one kills him. The local sheriff, the captain & his sergeant take a bunch of people to a bunker owned by a couple of wiseguys from Vegas, who are buying up land. There's no internet or cell-phone service, and the landlines are off.
   There's lots of spider shooting, and it's a lot like SG-1 taking on Replicators. The head wiseguy gets himself killed and a stupid girl almost does the same for herself but the sergeant saves her. Eventually, the air force turns up to bomb the spiders into oblivion. Natch, some of them get away . . .

[Thursday, 24th] NFL Thanksgiving [17:30, Sky Sports 3] started with the Packers in Detroit. Neither offense could do anything in the first quarter, which featured around 12 minutes of Detroit getting nowhere. The Lions reached 50+ yards in penalties before Matthews intercepted Stafford when a pass was tipped. Pass interference in the end zone on the next play, and Jennings took a short TD pass for 7-0.
   Williams nearly got a pick early in the Lions' next drive, which ended with a missed 47 yard FG try. Then Nickleback did a turn and the stage got stuck as it was being wheeled down a tunnel!
   The Pack drove into FG range in the 3rd quarter but Suh got himself ejected and gave them another set of downs, so a TD run for Kuhn. 14-0. An interception by Francois was followed, 1 play later, by a 65 yard TD pass to James Jones! 21-0. Oh, no! Another pick, by Woodson this time. Rodgers lost the ball when sacked by Avril but GB recovered it and went on to a 24 yard FG by Crosby. 24-0.
   In the 4th quarter, Williams rushed through a big hole for a 16 yard TD. 24-8 after a 2-point conversion. Durant got a sack. Raji got one back for the Pack. Cobb dropped a pass in the DL end zone and Crosby kicked a 32 yard FG. 27-8, 2:43 left. The Lions reached the GB 3 on a penalty and Johnson took a consolation pass. 27-15. An on-side kick failed so the Packers are 11-0 for the first time ever.
Next, the Dolphins in Dallas [21:15, Sky Sports 3] The first quarter was mainly defence with interceptions & sacks, but the Dolphins managed a FG with under 3 minutes left. Graham missed a 47 yard FG try in the 2nd quarter, letting Bailey level the scores with a 32 yarder with less than 5 minutes left.
   Moore kept fumbling snaps and he did it once too often to put the Cowboys at the MD 5 with just over a minute left. Romo put the home team ahead with a TD pass to Robinson. 3-10. Which left a minute for the Dolphins to get close but kick a FG. 6-10 at the half.
   In the 3rd quarter, Bush made a 1st down and a whole lot more when Moore just avoided a sack, and the Dolphins kicked another FG. 9-10. Hartline made 41 yards for the MD on a 3rd & long, and a 35 yard TD pass to Marshall put the MD 16-10 ahead.
   Romo made a couple of great escapes and successful passes on the way to a TD pass to Robinson. 16-17. Ware had a sack wiped out by a penalty on the DC. Miami went ahead with a short FG. 19-17. The Cowboys eventually got the ball back with 3 minutes to go, they played the sidelines and a 28 yard FG from Bailey made them 19-20 winners.

[Friday, 25th] NFL Thanksgiving highlights [11:54, Sky Sports 3] The 49ers in Baltimore. The Ravens scored first with a 39 yard FG. 0-3. Smith was in for an evening of sacks. The 49ers levelled the scores with a couple of minutes of the 1st quarter left. Flacco would have been picked with 6 minutes of the 2nd quarter to go; if not for pass interference by SF. But their defence held the Ravens to a FG. 3-6. The 49ers went hurry-up as the quarter ran out but Smith was picked in the BR end zone with the 49ers inside FG range.
   The Ravens got a 5th sack in the 3rd quarter. Natta made a 3rd & 17. Smith scrambled for a 1st down. Suggs got a sack and the 49ers kicked a 52 yard FG. 6-6. The Ravens went into the lead again in the 4th quarter with a TD pass to Pitta. 6-13. 93 sacked Smith. Suggs got another.
   The Ravens chewed up the clock to a 39 yard FG. 6-16 with 3:10 left. Suggs got his 3rd sack and the Ravens' defence stopped the 49ers for the win the Harbaugh Bowl.
The Mental Case [Pretty Red Balloon, Demand 5] Jane has to do a seminar. Then there's a missing child. Jane has to tell the mother, an old client, that he's no longer a psychic. Lisbon tries to boot him off the case but he's unbootable. 2 previous kidnapped kids were strangled, so this one has about 8 hours.
   There's another psychic on the case and the mother refuses to believe that Jane's a fraud. Back at the ranch, Cho decides they have to work all 3 child abduction cases. The other psychic has a "flash". Van Pelt gets to shoot a suspect, Walter, who's about to shoot Lisbon. He's not the guy.
   Connor's mom gets everything if the kid croaks and she needs money. Jane bamboozles her with his psychic act and mocks the other fake psychic. Connor's older brother reveals himself to be the kidnapper; just of his bro. Then Jane records the other psychic to put him out of business.
BBC Proms 2011 [19:30, BBC 4] Stuttgart Radio Symphony, conducted by Roger Norrington doing Mahler's 9th at the Royal Albert Hall. Wunderbar? Well, no, not really. It was impossible to reconcile the billing as the "epitome of late-Romantic symphonies" with the dreadful dirge which assaulted the ears at the start. It got better but that beginning was awful. The 1962 Klemperer version is much, much better. Elgar's Elegy for Strings to close.
Yesspeak [21:00, Sky Arts 1] is a film about the band made in 2003. Who was that bunch of old blokes? Oh, it's Yes, 35 years on from their start in 1968. The story they tell makes an interesting comparison with Rick Wakeman's memoir Grumpy Old Rock Star, which describes the band as a set of heroic boozers and farters.

[Saturday, 26th] Hellboy (2004) [17:35, 5*] A Nazi in an iron mask opened a portal to the 7 Gods of Chaos, Yank soldiers blew everything up but not before a little red demon came through. 60 years on, Hellboy was still barely out of his demon teens, his mentor had cancer and HB was killing monsters and wrecking lots of museum exhibits in the process.
   The Nazi revived Rasputin as a demon and HB had a girlfriend, Liz, a fire-starter. Agent Myers was assigned to HB and they didn't get on. HB killed a monster in the subway, but only after it left a loada little monsters there. Rasputin had the mentor killed as HB was brooding about Myers getting pally with Liz.
   In Russia, HB revived a corpse in a graveyard and descended into the tunnels below to see off the Nazi who killed his "father". Liz blasted the gang of monsters but the Rasputin gang captured HB, Liz & Myers. HB refused to open a portal for Rasputin. A huge monster burst out of Rasputin but HB fed it a grenade belt and the world was saved.
Until Death (2007) [21:00, 5USA] New Orleans drug detective Stowe's bust goes wrong and a female detective is killed. He's a scumbag junkie and his wife, pregnant by someone else, is about to dump him. The Chief of Detectives sends him after Callaghan, a dirty cop, and Stowe ends up shot in the head and in a coma.
   Callaghan starts killing gangsters as he builds up his crime empire. When Stowe wakes up, the CoD won't let the wife divorce him and he won't let Stowe back on the force. Stowe tries to make amends for being a scumbag. Callaghan has him picked up.
   Surprise! The husband of the dead-hero lady detective is a dirty cop! But Stowe has a couple of allies left for a big shoot-out, which ends with all the guys who need to being killed, including Stowe & Callaghan.

[Sunday, 27th] NFL Sunday [18:05, Sky Sports 3] The Texans in Jacksonville. The Jags went 3 & out then Youboty returned a Texans' fumble for a TD! 0-7. After some punting, Foster made a 43-yard run for the Texans and he took a 1-yard leap into the end zone. 7-7. The Jags reached the TX 3 some 4 minutes into Q2, 89 blew consecutive TD pass chances so just a FG. 7-10.
   Jones returned a JX punt 42 yards and the Texans completed the drive with a 20-yard TD pass to their tight end. 14-10. Joseph returned an interception 30 yards for the TX, and he was shoved out of bounds at the JX 4 before he could do enough showboating to loose the ball. The JX defence held up and Rackers had to kick a 53-yard FG. 17-10. A 55-yard FG try for JX was wide right, which left the Texans with 1:45 to go further ahead with another FG. 20-10 at the half.
   Yates came on for the injured Leinart and the TX went 3 & out. The Texans notched up their 3rd & 4th sacks on successive plays. They kept the sacks coming in Q4 and Gabbert had been felled 6 times when there were 10 minutes of the match left.
   McCown came on for Gabbert and did a bit better. A 35-yard FG brought the Jaguars to 20-13 down. Barwin's 4th sack was the Texans' 7th! McCown managed a 25 yard pass play on 3rd & 27, but the Jags rushed their 4th down play, bogged it up and the Texans won.
Over to Oakland where the Bears were visiting the Raiders [21:05, Sky Sports 3] The Raiders' opening drive brought them a FG. 0-3. An interception got them the ball back, Peppers got a sack on Palmer and Janikowski kicked a 47-yard FG. 0-6. Forte had a big running play, Haine was sacked by failing to throw the ball away and the Raiders picked his next play.
   The Bears got their 2nd & 3rd sacks in Q2. Jennings dropped an interception chance but the Bears got the ball when a 3rd & 17 pass was deflected to Graham. Haine had to run for a 3rd & 17 and the Bears went on to a 29-yard TD pass to Knox. 7-6. The fullback, Reese, took a pass 47 yards and another FG of 42 yards put the Raiders back in the lead. 7-9.
   Knox returned the kick off 56 yards to the OR 35. The Bears were at the OR 6 with 30 seconds left when Wibley returned an interception 75 yards and got half the distance on a bad horse-collar tackle penalty. Another boot from Janikowski made it 7-12 at the half.
   In Q3, another defence-splitting pass to Reese put the Raiders back in the red zone, where the drive fizzled out to a FG. 7-15. Haine was sacked on successive Bears' drives. The Raiders reached the red zone again. Bush reached the end zone but the play was called back for holding. 69 sacked Palmer on the next play, so just a FG. 7-18.
   In Q4, Gould delivered a 50-yard FG for the Bears. 10-18. The Raiders had to punt and Lechler delivered an 80-yarder! Gould kicked a 53-yard FG for 13-18. Finally, the Raiders got someone in the CB end zone and made it stick. A TD run for M. Bush. 13-25.
   The Bears were backed up by the kick off but Haine & Knox made and 81 yard pass play to the OR 9!! A TD pass to Davis got the Bears to 20-25 with 2:11 left. The Raiders fielded an on-side kick and went 3 & out, but they'd done enough for the win on a day which belonged to the place kickers and Lechler.

[Monday, 28th] New Mythbusters – Wet & Wild [21:00, Discovery] had us reaching for the Trade Descriptions Act again. Like the previous compilation, it's a 12-item "best of" stunts involving water and wild animals, including killer sharks, and not a new MB show after all.
Peter Gabriel Live in Concert [22:00, Sky Arts 1] was the Hammersmith Apollo gig from the New Blood Tour with the New Blood Orchestra. Oi! Who's that old bloke on the stage? Some interloper?
   Good grief! That young bloke who used to front Genesis in the 1970s is an old age pensioner! And he's still not a half bad performer despite the obvious handicap of his great age. So the box stayed on for the full two hours of the performance, which was a blend of new, old and politically correct stuff.

[Tuesday, 29th] CSI:Miami [Caged, 21:00, Channel 5] Martial artist Dante Kroll escaped from gaol and the MMA guy who testified against him had a big fight in Miami. Kroll killed a security guard for the arena and stole his uniform & pass. The promoter & the fighter wouldn't call the event off, so Horatio & Co. went into assassination-prevention mode.
   Surprise! The bad guy was after the takings! He shot his way out past Horatio, and clobbered Wolfe. And he'd kidnapped the fighter's wife to make him help with the escape. But the Cheesies picked up the 3rd man in the plan and Horatio got to shoot Kroll – once to put him down and again to kill him when he wouldn't stop laughing at H.
Thanksgiving TNA [22:00, Challenge] Angle with a rant then a free-for-all shambles. The Mexes versus Morgan + Crimson again. The Anglos gave Anarchia a good pounding after Hernandez had been flattened and won comfortably. The broads flapped their jaws a bit. A Jeff Hardy promo with a rock backing-track.
   Winna + Angie + Medicine had an underwear brawl with Tara + Tessmacher + Velvet with Earl Hebner, minus his guide dog, failing to cope and not seeing Mickie zap Medicine so that Velvet could get a pin. Another big shambles.
   Robbie E. had a "loser wears the turkey suit" match with Eric Young, cheated, was found out and had to continue to a wipe-out by E.Y. So Big Rob had to don the turkey outfit.
   Finally, an 8-man elimination tag shambles began with Jeff Hardy missing & Roode sitting at the announce table. Roode joined in for long enough to be DQ'd, and Hardy limped to the ring to help Styles finish off the bad guys.

[Wednesday, 30th] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Sam & Jesse were off to steal the list of people who got Mike burned. Nate, the stoopid younger brother, returned and found that 2 dodgy pals had been ripped off by car thieves. Worse, one of the cars was loaded with 20 kg of heroin. Mike revived his "Johnny" character to visit Tony Soto, the top car thief, for a lead.
   A rival chop shop went up in flames but the car wasn't there. Mike went after another lead with Caleb, the drug dealer's guy, looking over his shoulder, and Caleb shot the lead. Then he tried to frame Nate's pals. So Mike framed Caleb for stealing the drugs which he'd obviously stolen.
   The guy delivering the list of powerful people was hijacked and some of the gang wanted to go through it, killing everyone. But what was Mike going to do?

Created for Clyde E. Wydey by HTSP Web Division, 10 SK6 4EG, G.B.
Sole © Clyde E. Wydey, 2011.