December 2017

[Friday, 01st] TNF replay: the Redskins in Dallas [16:00, Sky Sports] Defences were firmly in charge early on. The Skins were close to scoring after 9 minutes but Cousins was picked off near the Dallas goal line. The Cowboys ended up punting away their turnover but the Redskins coughed up the kick return! DPI got Dallas to the red zone in Q2 and they scored a TD 4 minutes in.
   Cousins fumbled the ball to the Cowboys when sacked at his 19 but just a FG from this turnover, 0-10 in the 10th minute. The Skins had a punt returned 83 yards for a TD! a couple of good blocks then weaving through traffic. 0-17. But the Skins blasted back with a quick TD, 7-17 at the half.
   Q3 was all defence but the Cowboys were looking menacing in the red zone at the end of it, and started Q4 with a TD. 7-24. The Skins had a long field but went 90 yards for a TD, 14-24. The Cowboys ate clock with a long drive to another TD, 14-31 with 5 minutes to go. A tipped pass was picked by Dallas and that set up a final TD, 14-38 at the end.
Murder, She Wrote [Indian Giver, 19:00, ITV3] Some crazy Injun crashes Founder's Day in Cabbage Cove with a bogus claim to the whole area, which rattles the guy hoping to bring a $17M resort hotel to the area as well as the banker, who holds mortgages on most of the town. The Injun get short shrift when he demands rent from everyone.
   Jessica rescues the town's battered bride, who tells her about the hotel. Gulp! the lady's husband is in the town hall speared with the injun's lance. The dead guy had an option on the land where the hotel will be buiklt. A posse chases down the Injun.
   Jessica joins in his scam and tries to frame the battered woman's father, but bags the woman instead. And she sinks the resort plan. The Injun's scam also flops but Jessica help him with a new one.
The Heat (2013) [21:00, TCM] This is a daft cop movie featuring a confrontation between a prissy, ambitious, full-of-herself Fed and a fat, foul-mouthed and disgusting Boston detective with an RPG in her fridge arms-locker. They're after drug buggers and they upset an albino DEA agent, who's after the same gang. He tells the broads to butt out. Like that's going to happen.
   The ladies get to drunken binge terms then Wayne is blown up by a bomb planted in the Fed's car. The DEA guy tells the broads that HBG Larkin is on to them and they need to get out of town. The cop's criminal brother gives the ladies a bum steer. Then the BGs shoot him.
   That's it for her case, her boss tells the Fed. Lots of drug busts in Boston put pressure on the BGs. The gun-fridge comes in handy; until the ladies get themselves caught. Surprise! the other DEA guy, not the albino, is the rat. He goes to the hospital to kill the cop's brother but the lady Fed shoots his dick off and earns the amazement and respect of the cop.

[Saturday, 02nd] Midsomer Murders [Let us prey, 19:00, ITV 3] Some old frescos are found under a church. Six months later, the village is in danger of flooding and Nurse Nancy is found bashed on the head and drowned at the weir; just like one of the images in the fresco, which has its own website. She ditched her violent, drunken husband, Mike, for The Professor, an academic working to conserve the fresco.
   The retired vicar tells Barnaby the younger that Nancy was a slut. She was planning to shoot off to Australia. The pushy current lady vicar is plotting to sell the old vicar's cottage to raise conservation cash. Mike's dad makes a bog of ditching Nancy's car and he's written off like another scene in the fresco. Someone is killing sinners, the old vicar says.
   The Professor is reaped as the flood threat grows. Running out of inspiration, Barnaby decides to frame the old vicar, who rescued his unofficial daughter, Eva, from a hopeless drug addict and raised her. And the flood didn't happen.

[Sunday, 03rd] SNF: the Vikings @ the Falcons [17:30, Sky Sports] The Viks punted away their first possession. The Falcons went for 4th & 2 at the MV 39, and on to a FG, 0-3. The MV were sacked to a punt; to the AF 2. The Falcons punted. In Q2, the MV got to the AF 2 with a 30 yard run by Murray, TD for McKinnon, 7-3. The Falcons ripped through the Vikings, stalled, FG, 7-6. Then the defences held up.
   The Falcons went ahead with a FG 3 minutes in to Q3, 7-9. Lots of defence, then the MV finished Q3 with a TD for Rudolph, 14-9. Lots more defence in Q4, the Falcons missed a 45-yard FG with 5 minutes left. The Vikings held on to win.
Next, the Panthers @ the Saints. The Saints advanced to the red zone and Kamara went in on a 4th down for a TD. The Panthers took their opening drive to an answering TD, 7-all. Defence into Q2. A 72 yard run by Ingram put the Saints at thre CP 12, and he went in from 3 yards out, 7-14. A penalty on Peppers kept a NO drive going to a TD for Thomas, 7-21 after 8 minutes. The Panthers punted but forced and recovered a fumble, 21 yard TD for McCaffrey against a blown coverage, 14-21.
   The CP were sacked to a punt in Q3. 5 flags as the punt return went to the CP end zone, then came back. It was Kamara who got to do the NO Lambeau Leap to top off a solid drive, 14-28. The next NO drive ended with a missed FG.
   In Q4, the CP went for 4th & 6 at the NO 12 and ended up a yard short. NO punted after a sack and the Panthers fumbled the reception away! That gave the Saints a FG and 14-31. Newton dashed 31 yards to the NO 25, TD for Funchess, 21-31. Did the CP recover a short kick off? NO ball after a review, and they kept hold of it for the rest of the quarter to seal a win.

[Monday, 04th] SNF replay: the Eagles in Seattle [10:30, Sky Sports] The SH opening drive produce a FG and they scored a TD with 10 seconds left of Q1 for 0-10. The Eagles managed a TD after 7 minutes of Q2, 3-10. Wentz almost scored a TD in Q3 but lost the ball when he crashed down just short of the goal line and it sailed through the end zone for a touchback.
   Was Baldwin in for a SW TD after 8 minutes? He stepped out at the 1. Watkins took a 3rd down TD pass, 3-17. Agholor's TD in Q4 got the Eagles to within one score at 10-17. The Weeds went back to 2 scores up with a TD for 21 at midway, 10-24, and the match was effectively over when Wentz was picked in the SW end zone just before the 2MW.
Murder, She Wrote [Room With A View, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica was spending more time with Grady, how long before he's busted for murder? They were at a posh hotel presided over by Cornelia and her teenage husband, Gary, who was up to no good. Gulp! Grady found the blackmailing 3rd cheerleader from the left's body.
   The hotel security guy wanted murder to be a little accident and the cop was too busy making personal appearances to investigate. The teenage husband used moral blackmail to get Grady into more bother. Jessica butted heads with the inspector and told Grady he's an idiot.
   Gary's mom told Jessica that her son was married to the dead tramp when he got married to Cornelia. Jessica decided that the simplest way out of the mess was to frame the hotel's manager.

[Tuesday, 05th] MNF replay: the Stelers @ the Bengals [13:30, Sky Sports] The Bengals put R'berger under lots of pressure and their reward was a pick after 2 minutes, which gave them a FG 2 minutes later. A TD for S.J. Green in the last minute of Q1 put them 0-10 up. Lots of defence in Q2 but the Bengals ate clock and rushed to scoring range as half time approached. Another TD for Green, 0-17. Which left the Steelers with 30 seconds for Bell to get to midfield, DPI on the next play, FG, 3-17 at the half.
   In Q3, Bell scored an unexpected TD, going 35 yards; mainly because the Bengals thought he stepped out at their 20 and they just stopped playing! 10-17. Green got behind the PS defence and made the end zone but the Bengals were done for holding (bogus penalty) and kicked a FG in the 12th minute for 10-20.
   Bell made a 4th & inches easily in Q4, DPI got the Steelers to the CB 21, real DPI in the end zone wasn't given, FG, 13-20. Brown & Bell got the PS to FG range, on to the 6, TD for Brown, 20-all. The Bengals were sacked to a punt. The Steelers ate clock to FG range, a 38-yard kick made it 23-20 and a win in a tough match with lots of bad feeling and some bad injuries.
Murder, She Wrote [Who Threw the Barbitals in Mrs. Fletcher's Chowder?, 19:00, ITV3] Winny ran away from her bozo husband and parked on her brother, Sheriff Amos. He tried to dump her off on Mrs. F., who had a book to finish. Crazy Elmo, the husband, crashed in with his deadleg siblings. Winny dumped Elmo for the Cabbage Cove doctor! Then someone spiked Jessica's chowder. Everyone but Elmo went to sleep; he didn't wake up again. Someone had spiked him a bit more. Hooray!
   New gung-ho Deputy Marigold busted Elmo's PI snooper but Winny became the prime suspect when Jessica worked out why only Elmo had croaked. Jessica confronted the dodgy siblings. Kenny was the killer but only to save the family business from Elmo. Deputy Marigold saved the day at the end.
Knight Rider [Give Me Liberty . . . Or Give Me Death, 19:00, ITV3] A racer crashed & burned. Michael was put in the Alternative Energy Sources race to find out if there was a saboteur. Little Liberty, a journalist, chummed up with him. Someone shot up the cars and the rifle was planted in the hotel room of one of the racers, who was arrested.
   Problem solved, thought Devon, the fool! A bomb in the bootleggers' car proved him wrong and Liberty managed to bale out of it just seconds before the car was destroyed. The BGs grabbed Little Liberty when they caught her spying; they were staging accidents to make a dull cable show sell.
   The BGs decided to blow up Liberty. Michael spotted that the accidents were happening suspiciously close to a scattering of TV cameras. He and Kitt saved Little Liberty then won the race before rolling up the BGs.

[Wednesday, 06th] Murder, She Wrote [Marbinger of Death, 19:00, ITV3] Science vs war-mongering was the theme of the night. Jessica arrived to celebrate the wedding anniversary of a niece, Carrie, who had gone AWol. Leonard, the husband, had been neglecting her to look for comets. There was a pushy Madelein about. Madelein's boy helper was found dead in the hideout, which Carrie had been using.
   There was a lot of BS about Leonard using an astronomical telescope to spy on the hideout, which was 30 miles from the observatory. Carrie used to be pals with the dead guy. The cop wanted Jessica to work on his wife's true-crime book, which gave her an inside track to his investigation.
   Leonard's boss fired him for political reasons; Carrie was hiding out in his summer home! Carrie & Leonard had a confession contest, each trying to shield the other, so Mrs. F. decided to frame Leonard's nice lady assistant. What a rotter she is! But she changed her mind and went for Madelein in the end. And wriggled out of the book deal.
Imitation Mythbusters [20:00, Discovery] If someone farts in a sleeping bag then lights a cigarette, will it blow up the occupants. Cue explosions with hydrogen-based artificial fart mixtures.
   If an old water heater in a garage falls over in an earthquake, will it take off like a torpedo and blast a clean, round hole through an RV parked next to it? The guys did tests with bottles of water, then fired a full-size water heater 300 yards and up a hill! Encouraged, they built a garage on the bomb range.
   A real sleeping bag was too porous to contain the phart mixture, so the guys built a plastic analogue, which was leak-proof. The explosion looked very pretty on the replay, and it was very destructive, but in the real world, it was Myth Busted.
   Things went wonky on the range and getting the water heater to fall over was a problem. And when it took off, it hit the solid chassis of the RV and just dented it a bit. Even so, the Myth was declared Plausible.

[Thursday, 07th] Murder, She Wrote [Curse of the Daanau, 19:00, ITV3] Grave robbing, an old bloke with a young wife and a grasping daughter called Caroline, and the bloke is Dr. Seth's brother, to whom he hasn't spoken for 30 years. The Doc and Mrs. F. go to a polo match and find that the invitation came from the young wife. There's also a sinister Indian hanging around. He sez there's a curse on the ruby the young wife is wearing!
   Alice is almost done in but her father and Dr. Seth save her. Alice's dad makes sure the cops are called as it's not an accident. The stoopid cop wants it to be a failed suicide. Jessica and Dad hold out for murder. Then Seth's brother Richard is found dead in a locked room and the ruby is gone.
   The stoopid cop [Major Burns from M*A*S*H] thinks Jessica is a secret agent. The sinister Singh is busted with the ruby; an opportunist thief, not the killer, Jessica decides. The cop goes after the grasping daughter then the teenage wife, but Jessica nails down Alice's Dad.

[Friday, 08th] TNF replay: the Saints @ the Falcons [16:00, Sky Sports] NO were stopped in the red zone and kicked a FG after 4 minutes (Kamara dinged). The Falcons took rather longer to achieve the same and 3-all. In Q2, roughing the passer by NO (a nothing penalty) kept Atlanta going; to the NO 1, and a 3rd down walk in TD for 24, 3-10.
   The Saints sprinted to an answering TD with 2 minutes left in the half, 10-all. A pick by NO was returned to FG range. They set up for a 47 yard kick with 4 seconds left, drew a flag and the referee declared there was no time left to play another down so no FG!!
   The Saints picked Ryan's first play of Q3; a pass deflected. Ingram crashed to the AF 1, Thomas got the TD, 17-10. The Falcons reached the NO 9, only for Ryan to be picked off again in the end zone by Williams. The Saints did nothing with their turnover.
   Finally, the Falcons reached the scoring zone in Q4, Sanu got a TD, 17-all with 10 minutes to go. The Falcons went ahead with a FG, 17-20 with 4 minutes to go. Thomas dashed 35 yards to the AF 45, NO made a 4th down in easy FG range, then Brees was intercepted in the end zone by Jones. The Falcons had a moment of panic after a fumble but got the ball back, and they were able to run out the clock.

[Saturday, 09th] The A Team [The Island, series 3/episode 8, 19:00, Forces TV] BGs take over a Pacific island to use as a base for their heroin operation. They have the bad luck to choose the island where the doctor who saved BA's life in Vietnam lives. The doc's son sails to LA to get the A Team. They evade Col. Decker with ease and fly out in a seaplane.
   What luck! There's a WW II tank on the island, which BA brings back to life with the battery from the plane. There are also shells and millions of rounds of the blank ammo, which is shot off with such reckless abandon to avoid actually killing anyone. So the BGs have no chance.

[Sunday, 10th] NFL Sunday 1: the Raiders in KC [18:04, Sky Sports] The Raiders were sacked 3 & out. The Chiefs went on to a FG after a sack, 0-3 in the 6th minute. Despite another sack by Irvin, KC marched on to a TD for Kelce? Just short at the end of the quarter.
   Hunt got the TD to start Q2, 0-10. The next KC drive produced a 53 yard FG, 0-13. The Raiders were stopped by a pick, a TD for Kelce was wiped out by a penalty on KC, they were sacked back to the 20 from the OR 10 at the 2MW, an OR pick in their end zone was wiped out by a penalty and KC gave up and kicked a FG, 0-16. A 3rd sack by Irvin kept KC out of FG range at the end of the half.
   In Q3, KC cut through Swiss cheese but had to settle for a FG, 0-19. The Raiders fumbled away the first KC punt of the day! But Smith's first play was picked by Joseph!! Not that the Raiders did anything with the turnover. another KC TD, for West, 0-26.
   Finally, a TD by Lynch with 9 minutes of Q4 left, 6-26. The Raiders recovered an on-side kick but had to challenge to get it. They advanced to goal to go, went back for OPI, a 29 yard TD pass to Cook, +2, 15-26. KC ate clock. The Raiders faffed about and a pick by KC with 36 seconds left settled things.
Next up, SNF 2: the Seasquawks in Jacksonville [21:26, Sky Sports] The SH were stopped. JX were held to a FG, 0-3. Lots of defence into Q2. The SH were stopped by a pick but nothing from JX. The Squawks missed a FG try in the last minute of the first half.
   Finally, in the 3rd minute of Q3, the Jags made an interception and went on to a TD for Westbrook, 0-10. The SH kicked a FG after 7 minutes, 3-10, and retrieved a fumble of the kick off. Then they sprinted to an equalizer. 10-all. Bang! Bortles to Cole, 75 yards for a TD, 10-17.
   The SH punted and JX returned the kick to the SW 1! 72 yards. TD on the next play, 10-24 with 6 minutes left. Another pick by the Jags left them starting at their 3. Bummer? No, they were soon out of the hole.
   The Jags ate clock in Q4 and kicked a 51 yard FG for 10-27. One play for a TD by the Squawks, 17-27. Another FG for JX with 4 minutes to go, 17-30. Two plays for a TD by the SH, going through vast open spaces in the D, 24-30. The next SH drive was sacked to 4th & 9, and they went out on downs. About time the JX D showed up!
   The Jags reached FG range but went into victory formation. Flags and a hat flying when the Weeds turned nasty and 91 Seattle was evicted. 72 shudda gone, too. Same on the next kneel-down, 99 Seattle evicted. Nasty finish to a good win by the Jags.

[Monday, 11th] SNF 3: the Ravens in Pittsburgh [12:30, Sky Sports] A pick by Davis stopped the BR. The PS reached the red zone, TD pass to Bell, 0-7. In Q2, Bell rushed for a TD after 2 minutes, 0-14. A 30 yard pass to Ford 4 minute later got a TD for the BR, 7-14.
   The PS kicked a FG with 4 minutes left, 7-17. Collins barged 37 yards down the sideline to the PS 30 and went in for a TD with 2 minutes to half time, 14-17. The Steelers kicked a FG just before the half, 14-20.
   The BR kicked a 47 yard FG after 5 minutes of Q3, 17-20. Collins charged 17 yards to the PS 1 and Allen finished the drive with a TD, 24-20. Another BR TD in the 13th minute put them 31-20 ahead.
   The Steelers kicked a FG, 31-23. Shudda bin DPI in the BR end zone. Brown reached the BR 10 with 10 minutes to go, TD pass to Nix, no +2, 31-29. The Ravens piled on a TD by Allen in the 10th minute, 38-29. A TD for Bell in the 12th minute reduced the gap to 38-36.
   Brown got the Steelers to FG range with a minute left and R'berger was over 500 yards passing! A 46 yard FG put the Steelers 38-39 ahead. A sack and a fumble out of bounds by Flacco left the Ravens not ready to play when the clock started to tick off the final 6 seconds. A tough win for the Steelers.
Murder, She Wrote [Mourning Among The Wisterias, 19:00, ITV3] Mrs. F. was dahn saaf, hanging out with a clapped out playwright with a bad wig and an actress, who thought she was still a teenager. Eugene had written a new play and he wanted to marry Jessica to upset his grasping son and Crystal, the daughter-in-law! He was dying and he also wanted Jessica to oversee the play.
   Shots in the night and Eugene was found holding a gun in the bedroom at the mansion where his lawyer, who had been swindling him rotten for decades, was dead. The cop was Odo from Star Trek DS 9 in a white suit. His family used to own the mansion. Eugene kept collapsing but wouldn't go to hospital. Jessica realized the shots everyone heard were fired outside and came up with a goose-down comforter used as a silencer for the murder. She used marrying Eugene as a tactic for smoking out Crystal. The motive? Plain old greed.
SWAT: Firefight (2011) [21:00, Sony] An LA SWAT guy is bumped off to Detroit to train the team there. Cutler winds up the locals right away with a fake bomb threat. The local SWAT boss won't give up his command; he needs to be brow-beated a bit. SWAT gets on-the-the job training. On the first job, a woman kills herself when the cops won't kill the guy who was stalking her. Cutler is appalled when the local stooges let Walter the weirdo go on $1M bail.
   Cutler takes the lady psychologist to dinner then bed. Walter puts a bomb in his car but Cutler spots it. He refused to leave town. Walter joins in a siege at a large store but just gets the BGs killed. Surprise! He's a government asset/asshole, and he has protection. But he kills his two handlers and goes off and kidnaps the psychologist.
   The SWAT boss has another try at sending Cutler back to LA. His who team threatens to quit. The nutter kills more cops. But Cutler saves the psychologist and she helps Cutler to blow Walter to hell with his own bomb.

[Tuesday, 12th] MNF replay: the Patriots in Miami [16:00, Sky Sports] The Dolphins made a 4th & 1 easily in their opener, but too much D, FG, 0-3. A pick by Howard set up a MD scoring drive; FG though, 0-6.
   In Q2, dodgy DPI got Armstrong Athletic to the MD 3. TD after 9 minutes, 7-6. The MD were in the NE end zone a minute or so later but done for holding. Cutler avoided a sack athletically and set up a TD on the next play, 7-13. AA kicked a FG in the last seconds of the half for 10-13.
   In Q3, a sack on Brady was followed by a pick by Howard on the next play. The turnover gave Grant a TD, 10-20 after 4 minutes. A TD for Landry after 10 minutes put Miami 10-27 up.
   The Armstrongs scored a TD a couple of minutes into Q4, 17-27. They reached the MIA goal line in the 14th minute, back 5 on procedure, holding, a sack, FG, 20-27. 53 seconds left. An on-side kick try dribbled less than 10 yards and the Dolphins fielded it to seal their first win of the season.
Murder, She Wrote [Murder Through The Looking Glass, 19:00, ITV3] There was a mob-style hit on a guy who turned out to be the boss of a bunch of US spies. The hit man had a heart attack while driving away and Mrs. F. got to hear his confession instead of an obviously bogus priest. The cop didn't want to believe the story about a hit man with a conscience.
   At the dead guy's home, the wife said he was still alive and Jessica spotted the huge one-way mirror in the bedroom. The occupants eventually had to admit they were a DSS safe house. There was some South American crook there, waiting for his change to have a revolution.
   The fake priest said he was DSS internal affairs, looking for who betrayed Adams, the head of the unit. He wanted jessica to be his spy! Delgado was killed at the (un)safe house. Jessica linked the two killings and outed the killer, who did it just for the money.

[Wednesday, 13th] Murder, She Wrote [A Very Good Year For Murder, 19:00, ITV3] Mrs. F. was at a vineyard for the founder's 75th birthday bash. The Mob was after the vineyard and the son, Marco, had a wife who'd rather be in San Francisco. The grandchildren were disasters. Someone set a booby trap for the old man but it bagged Tony, who'd signed a cheque for $50,000, which he didn't have.
   Ben, the granddaughter's escort, was found poisoned in the wine cellar. Inside job, the police chief decided. Gulp! Dead Ray was a hit man for the Mob!! The old man told Jessica to go home and stop investigating. Was Steve, the football player, the target?
   Jessica knew that the old man was the target; and he took out the killer! But he thought his death would bring the family together, so he swigged poisoned wine in front of Jessica and collapsed. But the old dope wasn't allowed to croak. And he was allowed to get away with his murder.
Imitation Mythbusters [20:00, Discovery] 1. Killer Carp: would a water skier bombarded with a 2lb leaping Asian carp face death? The guys calculated that a carp leaping at 10 mph would hit a skier going at 25 mph. They made plastic fish and a flinger, which was a shambles. An air-cannon would have been a better option and they eventually went for that solution.
   2. Rock 'n' Roll Road Rage: does listening to aggressive music make a driver aggressive? Aggressive music does rev up the body. Three calm, one moderate and one high frustration driver were sent round a course with obstacles. The music had little effect on the low frustration personalities but some effect on the other two. Myth Plausible.
   Using 35 psi in the air cannon blasted the plastic fish at 35 mph. Buster 2 was almost decapitated! Neck broken, Myth Confirmed. What about a 5lb carp? Buster 2 ended up even deader.
Knight Rider [Chariot of Gold, 22:00, Forces TV] Mike had to rescue a poisoned academic from a dig. Bonnie, not Devon, was invited to join the brainy Helios Foundation. Someone was killing off the members; like the academic, who was polished off in hospital. The BGs were plotting to separate Michael from Kitt; they needed Bonnie to reprogram the car.
   Mike found out that the dig had been salted with fake pots. He sneaked into Helios by night and found that Bonnie failed the test. The people at Helios were survivalist nuts with an underground city, and they planned to use Kitt to steal some Aztec gold, which they would 'find' at the dig.
    Kitt was told to kill Michael. Like that would happen! And Mike got to splat the HBG before the cops arrived.

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