2010/January    final	Every edition of BFN is compiled in accordance with official 10 Downing Street guidelines on accuracy and veracity.

DEPARTURES    Kate McGarrigle, 63 She came to the attention of the world's LP buyers in the mid-1970s in a partnership with her sister, Anna. The Canadian McGarrigle sisters issued a series of distinctive albums, and they were known for their 'endearingly ramshackle' live shows. The sisters took the 1980s off, then they made further award-winning albums into the 21st century. They were the subject of film and TV documentaries, and both sisters were awarded the Order of Canada in 1994.  DEPARTURES    Gene Barry, 90 He became the TV star in Bat Masterson (1958-61) and Burke's Law (1963-66), and a TV regular in Britain via American imports in the 1960s and 1970s. He played the lead role in 14 films in the 1950s – mostly gritty, serious ones but also a couple of musicals – before moving on to television, where he specialized in characters who were dressed to the nines, and he continued to play 'posh' characters until the 1990s.

WAR NEWS  We knew we were right all along . . . The Ministry of Defence abandoned the FN self-loading rifle in the 1980s in favour of the smaller calibre (5.56 mm versus 7.62 mm) SA 80 assault rifle, which proved to be an unreliable disaster until BILLIONS had been spent on making it work (after a fashion). Now, the government is having to buy 7.62 calibre rifles for use in Afghanistan because the Taliban is able to stay out of range of 5.56 mm ammo and shoot off their 7.62 calibre Kalashnikovs at British troops.  • Bringing back an up-to-date version of the FN SLR would allow troops to do proper drill again, which is impossible with the sawn-off SA 80. Truth, justice & the British way of life? Hands up anyone who expected Tony Blair's personal Dr. Goebbels to tell anything within a thousand miles of the truth to the Chilcot Whitewash.. Gordon Brown has announced that he is fully prepared to do a Campbell for the Chilcot Committee and he's ready to be hauled before the whitewash any time they're ready for his stories. The CIA gets creative As no one in the pay of the intelligence agencies has been able to provide any useful intel on Usama Bin Laden (52) for many years, the CIA has begun to issue a series of age-enhanced images to show what he might look like should someone encounter him in their local supermarket after a shave.    In case their pictures derived from a blend of generic facial features look too unhuman, the Enemy Imaging Dept. has been trawling the internet for guys with short beards to serve as templates for their software. And it would appear that no one is safe from the CIA guys' computer wizardry! I was right and I'd do the same all over again Tony "Smug Bugger" Blair told the Chilcot inquiry that going to war with Iraq was well worth the £5,000,000,000 of British taxpayers' cash blown on this illegal cause. He was sneaked into the building through the back door with an old raincoat over his head, like any common criminal, and sneaked out the same way.  • 5 BILLION pounds is almost as much as Blair hopes to be paid on the US lecture circuit for services rendered over the next few years.

CRIME NEWS  Don't mention murder or burgalry! The Home Office (prop. A. Johnson) has banned the police from talking about crime with members of the public in case it frightens them and makes it harder for police forces to reach government targets for increasing public confidence in the police.  • The current confidence figure of 49% needs to be fiddled up to 60 per cent by 2012 to meet the Home Office target. It's all about the money The police 'services' and local councils raise £400 million/year from fines for speeding and parking offences, littering, bin offences and smoking in public places. Which explains why they're not doing the jobs everyone else thinks they're paid for, like arresting criminals, repairing roads, emptying dustbins, etc. It's all about the money II Mr. Munir Hussain was sent to gaol for fighting back against burglars with knives, who were threatening to kill him and his family. Everyone knew the sentence was wrong and the Court of Appeal has finally done the right thing and set him free. But at what cost to the nation in terms of the nice little earners for the lawyers and the court officers involved? It's a hard life! According to actual statistics, a householder is attacked by a violent burglar every 30 minutes. BlackFlag News says: "Maybe the poor bugger should think about emigrating." Global Warming Swindlers in pay of Al Kaida? Obama bin Laden's latest address to the global community includes the news that the United States of America are to blame for global warming, and the only way to save the planet is to wreck the US economy. Which is exactly what American GW swindlers (and GW swindlers everywhere else) are trying to do with carbon taxes and uneconomical alternative technologies.

SIZE NEWS    World's tallest building puts Dome into perspective The World's Tallest Building was opened with a shower of fireworks in the first week of the month. Standing 828 metres tall, the Burj Dubai has 169 storeys, floor 160 is the highest occupied floor in the world and floor 76 has the highest swimming pool in the world.    Beside it is the world's biggest water fountain and the monster cost £925 million to build. Which is pretty much the amount of taxpayers' cash which Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and their gang of New Labour luvvies threw at their cronies for the Millennium Dome, height 50 metres, over a whole decade of inflation ago.    Which leaves us asking: "Where the Hell did all the money go that was spent on the Dome?"    If you can get the world's tallest building for the best part of a billion quid, how on earth did Blair, Brown and all the rest manage to spend the same amount, when it was worth a lot more, on a tent just 50 metres high. Forget the inquiry into the Iraq war. What the nation really needs is an inquiry into what millionaire T. Blair and his chums did with the Dome cash. The Real Agenda? Is the Great Global Warming Swindle, in fact, a sinister plot by climate scientists to grab the world's entire research budget? Consider the scenario:  • Step One A small group of climatologists and imposters comes up with a scare story and sells it to the boneheaded politicians at the United Nations by letting them know that they, too, can make a lot of loot out of the scam.  • Step Two Carefully contrived exposures of flaws in the theory of man-made global warming are seasoned with massive shock waves when blatant acts of fraud are uncovered, e.g. the Hockey Stick graph, the story in the hacked emails from the Climate Research Unit at East Anglia University and the vanishing Himalayan glacier illusion shambles.  • Step Three The world's taxpayers are coerced into demanding to know what is really going on and massive amounts of cash are hurled at all types of climate research, giving those involved in the research a fancy income and job security for life.

CLIMATE NEWS    Attention Global Warming Swindlers: What's gone wrong? Rising to a whole new level! Belief in man-made global warming has reached a par with believe in the existence of the Loch Ness Monster and UFOs. But more people believe that the famous but fictional detective Sherlock Holmes existed than that Al Gore is for real. Cause and Effect Research at the Dept. of Global Warming @ Brown University, Co. Durham, has found a strong evidence to suggest that homeless people might be causing a significant proportion of the current warming in the northern hemisphere. Environment Minister E. Milipede has promised action within the next several weeks. Sorry, we got it wrong again The Met Office has revealed that their forecasting system gave a 20% chance of a colder than average winter in 2009/10. Which indicates that whatever they're using to make the forecasts, it's rubbish and Met Office forecasts of huge Global Warming and massive rises in sea levels in 100 years' time are just very bad science fiction. The prime monster took it upon himself to chair a Department of the Environment meeting aimed at moving supplies of gritting salt from rich, Tory areas to core-vote, impoverished Labour patches. The government has vowed to act on the issue of the salt freighters, which are shadowing the oil tankers circulating around the British coast, waiting for the price to go up before they unload their cargo. Soon, everyone will be setting fire to their underpants! Plane bomber U. Abdulmutallab set the trend on an Xmas flight into chilly Detroit and the news from the U.S. National Snow and Ice Data Centre in Colorado is far from encouraging. Natural cycles in the oceans cause the Earth to go through warm and cold periods lasting 20-30 years. Which is why the glaciers in Greenland were melting in the 1920s and the world cooled down after World War II despite the increased carbon dioxide emissions by the human race during the post-war recovery period.    Warming from the late 1970s on made the climate scaremongers switch from tales of doom about an approaching Ice Age to wild stories about massive rises in sea level and millions dying in summer heat waves. But, it seems, the cycle has moved on and we can expect 20-30 years in 'cold mode'.    Dr. Mojib Latif, the author of the paper on ocean cycles, believes in man-made global warming and he's dismayed to find his work cited as evidence that carbon dioxide isn't making the climate go haywire. But natural cycles in the planet's climate have been providing newspaper scare headlines for over a century, so he can't blame himself for sinking the Global Warming Swindlers single-handedly.    From the 1890s to the 1930s, there were scare stories about catastrophic global cooling. Then it was warming from 1929 to the 1960s, which overlapped with cooling from the mid-1950s to 1976, and catastrophic warming again from the early 1980s to the present. So we're due for some catastrophic cooling again now.    We can also expect the Global Warming Swindlers to find something else to save us from, at huge cost to everyone except those on the UN's payroll, if they can't save us from man-made greenhouse gases. A cold spell is just weather and doesn't disprove Global Warming, a hot spell confirms that we are heading into a catastrophic period of warming. Go figure! Bugger the science, what's the shock value? The UN's IPCC will be withdrawing its claim that most of the glaciers in the Himalayas will disappear in 25 years. Why? Because it was just bit of casual speculation tossed out by an Indian scientist in a phone conversation, and it doesn't stand up to even a casual inspection. But it served its purpose for the Global Warming Swindlers; as a scare tactic; and it has become a 21st century urban myth.  • The World Wildlife Fund, which is running a TV scam to save the unendangered polar bear from extinction through Global Warming by extracting £3/month from mugs, was also involved in pushing the glacier scare story. Bugger the science, what's the shock value? Part II In 2007, the IPCC claimed that rising temperatures were causing more natural disasters – hurricanes, floods, etc. – and making them more severe, too. That claim, like the tripe about melting glaciers, has now been redacted because of a lack of evidence to support it.

COMPUTER MODEL NEWS  Modified Garbage in, Garbage out It's a fact of life that feeding rubbish data into a computer gives a rubbish result. The same applies when the processing algorithm is faulty, as seems to be so with most of the government's computer systems. Hence:  • 2007 will be the warmest year ever. [In fact, global temperatures fell by more than the entire net warming of the 20th century.]    Met Office computer  • There will be a barbeque summer in 2009. [No, there wasn't!]    Met Office computer  • Global warming will cause sea levels to rise 20 feet by the end of the century.    Al Gore's computer  • There will be a mild winter in 2009/10. [Coldest for 30 years]    Met Office computer    But sometimes, it's plain old human beings who get it wildly wrong without much help from a computer:  • There will be 65,000 deaths from swine flu.    Govt. chief medical officer Sir L. Donaldson

DECADE NEWS Time to stand up for the TRUTH Welcome to the last year of the first decade of the 21st century!    Of course, the government and the printed newspapers have assured you at great length that you have already lived through a decade of the 21st century. Which demonstrates how trustworthy their propaganda is. But our readers will not have bought the scam.    The government also puts messages on cigarette packets saying "Smoking Kills" but billions of people have smoked cigarettes and they are still alive. Which speaks volumes about the truth content of government propaganda.    In this general election year, the proprietors of BlackFlag News would like to remind our readers to do what they usually do, "Think for yourself" and "Don't buy the message when the source is shamelessly unreliable".

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TOSH NEWS    Shot in the foot? The BBC would have us believe that its products put £7.6 BILLION into the British economy every year. Which leaves us asking why, if the Beeb is making so much dosh, does it need to extract an annual licence fee from everyone with access to a TV whether or not they ever watch the BBC's output?

DOSH NEWS    Magic Prices or just a Hollow Sham? How can big stores afford to swallow the VAT rise back to 17½%? Because they didn't lower prices after the VAT rate went down to 15% and they sneaked prices up in the last few months to boost their Xmas take. The first decade of the 21st century has been notorious for its swindles, and this has been just one more of them. Big stores are doing another Gordon Brown on us and using the VAT increase as cover for stealth price rises on all sorts of goods. The government will be giving away 125,000,000 unwanted doses of swine flu vaccine, so that another £1,000,000,000 of taxpayers' cash down the Brown Drain.

HEALTH NEWS Keep on boozing, PLEASE! The Commons select committee on health has warned that the economy will collapse completely if everyone starts to drink responsibly. Alcohol sales will drop by 40%, tax revenue will fall in proportion, workers in the booze industry will end up on the dole and the Brown Slump will become a Brown Avalanche into oblivion. Curlers soldier on Ice sports enthusiasts are flocking to the Lake of Menteith in Stirlingshire in defiance of the local 'elf & safety nazis. The first official Bonspiel in 30 years has been called off but the police have no power to keep people off the ice, so the curlers of Scotland are refusing to be denied their sport. Skaters and ice hockey players are also taking to the loch, so things could get a little hairy on the curling rink! Neither use nor ornament The existing wind farms have produced practically no electricity during the calm weather of the cold spell, which means that erecting even more windmills won't keep the lights on, and prevent people from freezing to death in the discomfort of their own homes, when the dimwits in charge of the European Union close down all our coal-fired power stations.

HOME NEWS  What does reality have to do with it anyway? Gordon Brown thinks he can win a general election by calling the Tories "privileged". But does that matter if they can do a job in government without screwing up, unlike Brown's gang of deadlegs? And why should anyone believe that Labour's bunch of Parliamentary grabbers are less than privileged? Bandwagon cavalry! BlackFlag News no sooner launches a campaign to rid Britain of the Brown Bunion than the Labour Party leaps aboard! Sacked cabinet ministers Geoff 'Buff' Hoon and Praticia Hewitt are campaigning for a secret vote by Labour MPs to decide who should take them into defeat at the next general election. At least half of the cabinet gave a covert nod to the Buff/Pratty Brown Bunion Eviction Campaign but outright support foundered on the rock of courage. There was also a large element of "I have to be the new leader or you don't get my visible support" in the fizzling out. It's all to do with the politics, not the science According to the Met Office, when the weather turns cold, it's part of the normal ebb and flow of normal local weather. And when it gets hot, that's due to man-made global warming. It's all to do with the politics, not the science II The BBC Trust plans to start a year-long investigation into how the Beeb reports science stories. Apparently, people have been complaining about the BBC's tendency to focus on a pre-digested but bogus 'consensus' presented by the likes of Global Warming Swindlers instead of doing the hard work of reporting the actual science. Labour limps on and the Brown Bunion remains in place after a failed attempt by sacked ministers Hoon & Hewitt to persuade the Labour party to take a vote on G. Brown's leadership.

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ROMILEY NEWS    Communication test Romiley has three local councillors: Lees, Lloyd & Mclay. In a consumer trial to find out if they respond to an email from a resident, the result was: No for Lees & Mclay and Yes for Lloyd. Something to remember when the next set of elections for Stockport council comes around. The snow cotton trees are in full bloom in Romiley! Lethal Weapon Romiley's "Pavement of Death" becomes a killer if cleared of snow without a dressing of salt and grit. The smooth pavement soon acquires a slick, invisible surface coating of ice, which makes it even more slippery than it becomes in wet weather. Accordingly, Romiley's residents are advised to walk on the safer snow in the centre of the village and avoid clear areas of "Pavement of Death" to protect life & limb.

TRAVEL NEWS  4x4s Rehabilitated! The econazi tendency has done its best to tax 4x4 vehicles into oblivion but police forces all over the country are scrabbling to lay their hand on them so that they can get out and about in the snowy weather to harass motorists.  • The Home Office has set the nation's police forces the target of putting a parking ticket on 74% of all abandoned vehicles.

The Met Office, that nest of notorious Global Warming Swindlers, is predicting a record mild winter. So all that snow outside isn't really there. The Hoon/Hewitt 'campaign' to unseat G. Brown. District Judge Evans, N., whose lenient treatment of H. Harperson let her get away with dangerous driving while yakking into her mobile. Herefordshire police, who don't want the public to scare criminals by waving knives at them from their own homes, and Chief Con. F. Whiteley, who doesn't want people to embarass dangerous criminals by posting their picture with a warning. The Met Office, if the BBC weather service contract goes elsewhere. Dr R. Pachauri, chairman of the UN's IPCC and a guy making a bundle out of the Global Warming scam, who labelled people who didn't believe the silly story about melting Himalayan glaciers as practitioners of "voodoo science". Labour party dogsbody J. Straw, who claims he's beating himself up because, he reckons, he could have prevented the Iraq war if he had stood up to T. Blair and exposed his lies. Labour MP H. Cohen stole over £70,000 with a second-home swindle. Now, he's yelling class discrimination because he's common and he's been docked his £65,000 golden parachute for being a thieving git. Asylum & Immigration Tribunal judge L. Waumsley, whose panel ruled that an Iraqi killer can't be deported because he'd be a danger to the public in Iraq and sod the British public. The decision was taken in October 2009 but it was kept secret until this month. The bin is still ready & Mandelson page top Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression. Sole © RAL, January 2010.