"What can I do, Mr. Smith?"
"Just stop her eating mice."
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got!
"Doctor, I feel like a billiard ball."
The doctor's proverb: When it comes to injections, it is better to give than to receive.
If you have a headache, put your head through a window and the pane will disappear.
"Dr. Papadooblopolopolis is waiting to see you."
What's red and stupid?
"I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, you have rabies and it may prove fatal."
"Why are you scratching yourself, Mary?"
"Good morning, Mrs. Smith. I haven't seen you for a long time.
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat."
"Did you know deep breathing kills germs?"
"Mrs. Smith, you have acute angina."
"Will little Tommy's measles be better next week, Doctor?"
"What can you give me for flat feet, Doctor?"
"Doctor, Doctor, kiss me!!!"
"Can I take your pulse now, Mrs. Smith?"
"So Elsie left her job because of illness?"
"My doctor put me on a diet with lots of corn and vegetable oils."
"This hospital must have a very clean kitchen."
"I still feel very tired, Doctor."
"I hear your cured my friend of biting his nails, Doctor."
"Does your wife cook by gas or electricity, Mr. Bimmler?"
"Give you a sick note for hypochondria, Mr. Jones? Are you trying to make a fool of me?"
Penicillin - the perfect present for the man who has everything.
"So if I take these little blue pills, will I get better, Doctor?"
"Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards."
"We've just had a case of tonsilitis in."
"My wife has a slight impediment with her speech, Doctor. Now and again, she has to stop to take a breath."
What do toothless Arabs speak?
"I had a fall last night that left me unconscious for eight hours, Doctor."
If at first you don't succeed, that's normal!
"Doctor, that operation left me with one leg an inch shorter than the other. What
am I supposed to do now?"
"Doctor, this nine-course hospital dinner is great! What do you think I should have
to follow the pudding?"
"Doctor, I was playing my mouth organ and I suddenly swallowed it."
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