Jokes For Hospital Visitors 2 |
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"Doctor, do you think lemons are healthy?" "That's the plaster cast off your leg now, Granny Smith." "I'm afraid you're going to be blind in your right eye after your accident, Mr. Smith." "I've changed my mind about your treatment, Mr. Jones." "You seem to be quite an athletic little girl, Miss Smith. Can you stand on your head?" "What's the best thing to take when you're run down, Doctor?" "Doctor, I think I'm too thin." "When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible, Doctor?" "So why exactly did you put the starch in your whiskey, Mr. O'Hooligan?" "Mr. Smith, do you realize you're reading your newspaper upside-down?" "My husband is so mean, he complained to the doctor when he got well before he'd used up all his medicine."
"I'm aching from arthritis," said one of the men in the doctor's waiting room. "I understand you had your accident on a submarine, Mr Smith?" "My grandmother's in marvellous condition. 82 and not a grey hair on her head." "Doctor, Doctor, I was playing my flute and I swallowed it." "What are you going to do when you're as big as your mother, Susan?" "Doctor, Doctor, I'm always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning." "I think your nervous condition is caused by your wife's bad driving, Mr. McGurgle." "Guess what happened when I went to the psychiatrist about my poor memory? The rotter made me pay in advance!"
Keep smiling - it makes everyone else wonder what you've been up to!
"That psychiatrist just called me temperamental. What do you think he meant?" "What are you taking for your cold, Mr. Smith?" "You know what the trouble with my husband is, don't you, Doctor?" Consultant: "Can any of you students tell me what a skeleton is?" "How did you get on with that new oatmeal soap, Mrs. McGurgle?" Consultant: "Human life would be impossible without oxygen. And this important gas was discovered as recently as 1773." "Well, Mrs. Jones, did you tell your young daughter that eating her greens will put colour in her cheeks?" Have you heard about the dyslexic Satanist who sold his soul to Santa? No, neither have I!
"That pyschiatrist you recommended, Doctor, he said my wife's so ugly, she has to lie face down on the couch. Then he charged her a double fee because she has a split personality."
"How many beds should a hospital have?"
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